CHAPTER ONE

LUCY

Have you ever been so nervous, so intensely freaked out about something, that you think you might throw up? That's me right now. Actually, that's been me for more than a week. Honestly, at first I thought I was pregnant, and even though it shouldn't be possible with the implant, I routinely get ‘stuffed with so much cum'. That's a direct quote from one of my men. Wow, one of my men. It still doesn't get old saying that.

Anyway, once I realised why I was freaking out so much, what was specifically setting it off, I stopped worrying about pregnancy. At least for now, but I'm sure it'll happen at some point. Like I said… so much cum. So, it's the impending trip we're going on that has my heart in my throat, and bricks in my stomach. I'm going home. As in, back to England. I've been away from my old life for more than a year and a half, but at some point I have to face the music, right?

At least I'm not going alone, though, and that's either a good thing or a really bad thing. Stella won't be a problem, obviously, but Mav? Worse than that? Sebastian and Gage? Don't get me wrong, this is my perfect fucking life now, with the best friend I've ever had, and three men who do the kind of depraved shit to us that we both write… it's just, something about returning to my old life feels like it's going to change how I feel about them.

Will it make me feel that our love is wrong? Will it make me feel ashamed of how I've given myself over to three men, when it's really not the norm? Is this where reality will crash back down on me, and remind me that it shouldn't be happening? They kidnapped us, forced us into things I'd never realised even really happen, and we never saw them coming. They took over our lives, owned us, and now going back to see my parents would be like straddling that line between their reality and mine.

"Whenever you're this quiet, I know either you're freaking out, or you're plotting something disturbing for a book," Stella says, sitting beside me on the sofa. We're about an hour away from hitting the road to go to the airport, and I feel guilty that she's the one checking on me, when I know she's the one terrified of flying. Worse than me. I mean, when I flew to the US, I'd been scared, but she has literally been having nightmares for the last few nights, even waking a few of us with them, and while she has several men willing to hold her and comfort her, or shag her into exhaustion, it isn't really addressing the real issue.

For me, to support me, she's getting on a plane, flying over the ocean, and even now, the trembling of her hand as she pats my arm is a reminder that this is worse for her. So my parents might judge us, so what? She's terrified of dying in a fiery crash into the ocean. Writer brains, dude. They're insane.

"Just thinking, that's all. How are you doing, babe? Remember this is going to be fine. We're not even going on a commercial airline, so it's even safer than those and they're really safe." Not that I felt that way when I flew here. What if we both freak out on the flight?

Stella rubs her hands down her thighs, taking a deep breath. "I'm just… I'm going to trust that we'll survive a flight, and let our men distract me while we're up there. I mean, there's going to be some attempt at joining the Mile High Club, right? With those three, there's no way that won't happen."

Oh my god, the Mile High Club, another first for me, and Mav did love taking all my firsts, didn't he? Of course they'll plan something like that. Male voices suddenly catch our attention, and we both stand up as they enter the room. They've all changed since we met, but in some ways are exactly the same. Mav's sandy blond hair is definitely longer and shaggier now, making him look like some kind of ‘surfer dude'. He wears more stubble on his face now too, and that feels amazing when he's going down on me.

Gage looks pretty much the same, although he has a shiny new tattoo of Sebastian's name right over his heart, and he ‘encouraged' Sebastian to have one saying ‘Gage's Pretty Boy' right over his. Every time I see the tattoos, it makes me swoon, because how romantic is that?

Sebastian has been working out a lot in the gym in our new pool house, and honestly I think it has a lot to do with him still feeling like being bisexual makes him less of a man. How can that even be possible? He can literally attract men and women. Surely that makes him more than, instead of less than.

"Lucy," Mav says, slapping my ass as he passes me. He doesn't actually say more than that, so is he just saying my name for the sake of it?

"What?" I ask as I follow him to the door, wondering where our bags are. "Do I need to go get my things?"

He leads me outside the door and watches the doorway. "The others are bringing them. Is Stella still freaking out?"

I nod, wondering why he doesn't just ask her that question.

"We might have some ideas for keeping her distracted while we're in the air, baby. Just follow my lead, yeah? I promise it'll be worth it." He winks at me, just as the door opens fully again, and Gage propels Stella outside.

"Get in the car, ladies. We'll bring the bags."

STELLA

Once we're all settled in the car, the driver that Gage hired begins to drive us to our final resting place. I mean, the airplane. As a child I flew every summer across the country to see my father and then back to my mother, until he no longer had any use for me. Yeah, I might be a little bitter. Even as a seven-year-old unaccompanied minor I was terrified of flying. It got a little easier until August of 2018. Apparently, everyone knows that flights into Denver, Colorado are almost always turbulent. Everyone, it seems, except me. As the plane began to shake and dip massively, two things happened. One, I was sure I was going to die. And two, I decided if I did somehow survive the deathtrap, I'd never step foot on a plane again. But of course, I did. I had to in order to meet my best friend, Lucy. However, I can tell you there's a big difference between a five-hour flight and a ten hour one. Double the time, double the panic attacks. Meanwhile, I sit here in the car while the guys laugh, carrying on about all the things they want to do, while I crumble inside. Anybody without a fear of flying will not get it. It's like any phobia, if you don't have it then you just think it's ridiculous.

Maverick sits all the way to the left in the limo with Lucy right beside him, Gage sits on the other side of her with Sebastian beside him, and I'm on the end beside the door. The same door I'd like to open and jump out of before fleeing for my life. I won't, because Lucy needs me with her for this trip. As terrified as I am of getting on this damn plane, I know she's equally terrified to tell her parents the truth about things, well mostly truth anyway. I'm really concerned about how they are going to react, because they don't even like the idea of her dating. Now she's regularly hooking up with three men. How much honesty she'll actually give them is unknown. I brought it up a few days ago and asked what the plan was if they had her committed.

Gage's response was unsettling. Lucy is mine. As much as she is any of ours. If they try to take her, I'll gut them and then fuck her in their blood. It was a little disturbing. Luckily, she wasn't present for that conversation, since Mav was keeping her busy, because I'm not sure how she'd react to Gage threatening to kill her parents. I mean my dad, there's no love lost although I wouldn't plan his murder. But Lucy is close to her mom and dad both. It's different. In the last year and a half, Gage has definitely learned how to be a kinder, gentler human with Lucy, Sebastian, and myself, but the psycho still resides in him. For anyone outside of our group, he's still the same unhinged asshole that kidnapped three people.

Sebastian grabs my hand and squeezes gently. "Baby girl, are you okay?"

I nod and paste a fake smile on my face. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just excited, I guess."

They all know I don't like to fly, but they don't realize exactly how terrified I am. Lucy is the only one that really has a clue. Unless she's said something to the guys.

Sebastian leans his head down, and his warm breath fans over my neck, causing shivers to run down my skin as he speaks low, "Stella, I don't like it when you lie to me. Do you need to be punished?"

In our time with them, all three men have learned that we both enjoy being spanked. At first, I thought maybe it was weird and had some deep psychological meaning but, as Gage says, ‘if it feels good, do it.' When Gage noticed I was having an internal debate about it, he punished me. All three of them tied me to the bed and spanked me, until I was so sore I wasn't sure I'd be able to sit on my ass again. And I had to admit, I loved it.

SEBASTIAN

There is nothing Stella hates more than being vulnerable and exposed. I also know something is wrong, and that she's not excited for this trip. I'm just not sure why. Gently, I grab her chin and turn her so she's facing me. "Talk to me."

She blinks quickly, trying so hard to keep the tears at bay, but it's a losing battle. When the tears begin to roll down her cheeks, the anger boils over as she snaps, "Leave me alone, Sebastian. Leave me the fuck alone, okay. I don't have to tell you everything."

Stella jerks out of my grip and stares out the window, like she can pretend she's all by herself, but she's not.

"What have you been told about bottling your feelings up until you explode?"

Swiping a tear away angrily, she keeps her focus on the outside world like we mean nothing to her, and I don't fucking like it.

I grab her arm, and pull her over my lap, pushing her back down, and holding her in place while she struggles to get away from me. Glancing at Gage, I tell him to make sure she holds still, and grab the hem of her tiny black skirt and pull it up over her hips, exposing her mostly bare ass to me. Only a small portion is covered by her black thong. I squeeze her right ass cheek and she whimpers, as Gage holds her down by the back of her neck.

"I fucking hate you," she bites. Her words aren't hurtful because she's full of shit. We both know she doesn't hate me.

Bringing my hand up, I swing it down on her flesh. The entire car is quiet as they pay attention to Stella's whimpers and gasps. When I strike her ass on the other cheek, she begins to sob on my lap. I stare at her with concern, because I wasn't trying to actually hurt her, but Mav says, "Keep going. She needs this."

I hit her three more times, and Gage lets her go. My expectation is that she'll be pissed at me and retreat to the outside again, but instead she climbs onto my lap and cries into my chest. What the fuck is wrong with my girl? I wrap my arms around her, while four sets of concerned eyes look on as I cradle her. Finally her crying subsides, so I ask her, "What is happening?"

Of course, even after a year and a half of us all being together, my worst fear is still losing them. If I lost any of my family, even Mav, I don't know how I'd get through it. Is that what this is? Stella wanting to leave? She lowers her gaze to my chest as if trying to avoid eye contact, and admits, "I'm scared."

Before I have the opportunity to ask what she's afraid of, she continues, "Of flying. You probably think I'm an idiot, but I'm terrified to fly. And a ten-hour flight, it's too much. I wanted to hide it, but apparently, I can't."

This must be what Mav has been talking about, when he kept saying Stella would need to be distracted. Jesus Christ. The cruise. For the last three months she has been researching cruises to England. This is why. She wanted to avoid flying at all costs. Yet, when Gage said we weren't taking a ship but instead a plane, she didn't have much of a response.