Chapter 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

JENSEN

M ultiple days of "I'm fine" has driven me to the brink of insanity. At one point, Jessie sat with me in my hotel bedroom to make sure I didn't catch the next flight from Dallas back to Seattle and completely miss the rest of the away tour.

She's not "fine," and I know that. She can't hide anything from me. Her being upset for whatever reason devastates me, but the fact she won't say tears my fucking heart out.

I might as well be on the bench watching the game playing out in front of me. I've been God awful, and we're down one-three in the final period.

The Dallas winger flies down the ice, heading straight for me. Zach has saved me several times tonight, but not right this second when he passes the puck off to their center, eliminating our captain from the defensive line.

Barreling toward me, their center wastes no time in sinking the puck in the top right-hand corner. I failed to track his movements or recall his favored approach from the hours of game tape I've watched and apparently memorized.

"Fuck, this game is totally buried." Zach skates past me, shaking his head, his hands on his hips.

Circling around, he skates over to me. Whatever he or Coach has to say at this point makes no difference to me. I just want back on the team plane and back to my fiancée.

"Your head has been in the toilet this whole away series, man. We can't do this without you."

"Yeah, well, there are bigger things in life than just hockey," I respond.

Fire swarms his eyes. "Not when we're on the ice."

He skates away, ready for the re-start, and I know we'll probably concede again between now and the final five minutes of this game.

"Fucking slow down, will you?" Jessie races up to me, his carry-on trailing behind him as I make for the parking lot in the private airport.

"Your little legs struggling to carry you?" I jest, looking over my shoulder.

He scoffs. "I'm six-two and hardly small!"

Picking up the pace, he finally catches up to me as I pop the trunk on my Range Rover, a new car I bought to get ready for the twins' arrival, and throw my case inside.

"She'll be okay, you know. She's a big girl."

"Something's bothering her, and she won't tell me. It's freaking me out, to be honest."

"You think she's…"

"Getting cold feet?" I finish for him.

This is exactly how Lauren was in the weeks leading up to our wedding. I told myself she was just nervous. In reality, she was fucking my best friend. Not for a second do I think Kate's cheating on me, but something's off.

"I don't think that's the case." Jessie leans against my car, the streetlamps our only source of light at ten p.m. on a cold December night.

"Something's eating at her." I squeeze my car key in my hand. "Fuck me, man, if she says she can't marry me, I'll…she's fucking everything to me."

He rests a palm on my shoulder and squeezes. "Get back to her."

I look at him. I've been so out of it this past week that I haven't spent much time with him, but he hasn't been around much, either. "Where were you last night anyway? I didn't see you at the bar."

He flushes slightly, and I notice, even in the dim lighting. "Out."

"With…"

"Yeah." He shoves his hands in his pockets. "But for fuck's sake, keep it to yourself."

I nod. "Are you two?"

"Sleeping together?" He laughs. "No. But I did take her out."

"And?" Jesus, it's like pulling teeth.

He runs a hand through his dark blond hair. "And…I want her, and I think she wants me."

I hold out my fist to bump him, but he leaves me hanging.

"Yeah, I don't feel like celebrating right now. Just head back to your girl and let me know you're okay." He taps the hood of my car on his way over to his.

"You're all set for Banff, right?" I shout.

He waves over his shoulder. "Yeah, your mom texted me last night to confirm my measurements."

When I get home, Kate is asleep on the couch, the soft blue blanket she brought from her apartment half draped over her ever-growing stomach. Even when she snores, which she absolutely does, she looks stunning.

Kicking off my shoes, I approach her. But before I slide in behind her on our huge couch, I pull out my phone and snap a picture of her sleeping peacefully. No worry or stress etched across her face. No concerns about working or thinking of the next thing she needs to do—she's content and comfortable to live in this moment.

Pulling my top over my head, I slide in behind my fiancée, who, thank Christ, is still wearing my engagement ring. She's answered my calls and texts while I've been away, but her spunk has gone, replaced by a shadow of her sassy self.

She stirs as her familiar citrus scent spreads warmth throughout my chest.

"Hey, Princess. I'm home," I whisper into her ear.

She groans as I barely make out a "Hey."

Reaching around, I palm her stomach, but she turns over to face me, opening her beautiful eyes slowly. "I missed you," she says.

Relief washes over me. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's been a shit week."

Pushing her hair back from her face, I tuck it behind her ear. "What happened, and why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I knew you'd go off and because I'm a big girl who can fight my own battles."

"Battle? Who's giving you shit?" I growl.

"It's a long story."

"I've got time. Our whole lives, in fact." I kiss her forehead.

She huffs out a breath. "In a nutshell, Violet and Henry have cut off referrals to Mark Preston. He wanted me to speak to them. So I did."

Every fucking nerve fires off in my body. "You went to see them?"

She nods. "Yep."

"You should've waited for me to come home."

"I can take care of myself. Not that it would've mattered anyway. They were home but refused to answer the door."

I pull back. "They left you standing on the front porch of your own family home. In the freezing cold December weather? Fucking pregnant?" Each word gets harsher as it leaves my tongue.

Placing her hand on my chest, I know she can feel my racing heart. "Yeah, it's shitty of them, and yeah, it makes me think that Mark and David are more interested in my last name and how it benefits them than they are in me as a lawyer. But trust me, they've done much wor?—"

She clamps her mouth shut like she didn't mean to go that far.

"What?"

"Nothing." She strokes my cheek, trying to soothe me.

Not happening.

"What the fuck did they do to you, Princess?"

"It was a long time ago."

"Doesn't matter, tell me, I need to know everything about you." I press my forehead against hers. "Just like I'll give you every part of me."

Pressing her lips together in a thin line, she squeezes her eyes shut, almost like it pains her to recall the memories, and that breaks me in fucking two.

"When East left to go to college, I had two years remaining in high school. They were two key years to get me into the best schools and get the best grades. I was already achieving those things, but that wasn't enough for Violet and Henry—they wanted their daughter to be the country's top-performing student. You were right with what you said that time—my success was an extension of theirs." She pauses and inhales slowly. "They pretty much locked me away for that period—no friends, no social life, definitely no parties. I tried to sneak out from my window once or twice, but they installed a lock. They said it was for my own good and ‘time spent partying was time lost studying, leading to mediocrity.'"

I pull her into me, burying her face in my chest. Her shoulders start to shake. Kate barely cries, and fuck me, does it tear me limb from limb to hear those words and then the pain in her cries.

"That's all I've done my entire life. Expect perfection and never take a minute to sit back and relax or acknowledge what I've achieved. If I did, they'd be onto me, reminding me of how I might be at the top right now, but one slip and someone would take advantage of my weakness. Decades of that weight of expectation is enough to break someone," she sobs.

"If you weren't pregnant with my babies and I wasn't about to be a dad, I would be hauling ass over there right now to bury them in those fake-ass manicured gardens. No one would miss them."

She shakes her head against me. "They aren't worth it, and a lot of people would miss them. What the public sees and thinks about my parents is far removed from who they truly are."

"Yeah, I worked that one out already."

A long stretch of silence passes between us as I embrace my broken girl and run over the options in my head, debating whether to grab my keys and do exactly what I want.

But those babies and Kate hold me back.

"Come here."

Sitting up, I pull her to straddle me on the couch, wrap her blue blanket around her shoulders, and focus her attention on me.

"Is six months really what you want?"

"I don't know. I'm scared that taking longer will be too much, that I'll lose touch and be left behind."

Smiling warmly at her, I place a soft kiss on her hair. "It's not about being ‘left behind,' Princess. It's about embracing life and how it changes for us. Everything happens for a reason."

"You really believe that?"

I nod slowly. "Everything about you, our babies, and the fact that in a couple of weeks, we're going to fly to Banff and get married is all part of the plan. Our plan. What was meant to happen for us. I've been falling for you for so long now, even before that night at Jon's and Felicity's wedding. I've just been waiting for you to catch up, and now that you have, I just want you to trust the process. Trust what your heart is telling you and work to eliminate all that bullshit your parents fed you when you were younger. They're toxic. They're fucked up. Not you."

She swallows thickly as she digests my words. "I'm officially rescinding my previous comment. You aren't a prick; you never were. You are, in fact, my prince."