Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

JENSEN

I think I'm growing soft.

From a table at the back of the reception hall, I sit alone in my tux and watch as Hollie and Ed move across the dance floor and underneath the twinkling lights, their faces lit with love. I quickly reach up and swipe a tear from the corner of my eye.

She deserves every bit of happiness that's coming to her.

"Hey, it's been a while."

I look up to see Chloe, Hollie's best friend and the redhead from that night in Riley's bar.

"Hey," I say, smiling and sipping my bourbon.

She sits next to me, crossing her legs under the table and leaning forward slightly, the low-cut neckline of her pale pink bridesmaid's gown falling forward. I avert my eyes quickly. Something about this feels intense, and I've been avoiding her all day, trying to stay out of the same photos.

She gently taps her fingernails on the tablecloth and rests her chin in the other hand. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she's had more than enough to drink.

"How come every time you see me, I'm a little tipsy?" she giggles.

"I'd say a little more than tipsy, but you're better than you were that night."

"I never did get a chance to thank you for walking me back."

I look at her properly for the first time since she sat down. "You just did, and you're welcome."

She looks around the room, taking it all in. "Do you not have any friends with you? I thought you'd be the most popular guy in the room?"

I lean back in my chair and push my empty glass away. "Nah, keeping a low profile."

"Congrats on the Stanley Cup win."

"Thanks."

This whole exchange feels stilted and awkward, as if she's pushing for something to say to me.

"Are you in town for long? Preseason has to be starting up soon?"

I think about how much I want to be back in Seattle, curled up on Kate's couch with her wrapped around me. "I'll be heading back tomorrow; preseason starts the day after."

Just then, my phone that's lying face up on the table illuminates with a text, and Chloe's head darts in its direction.

It's a picture from Kate.

Princess

This one is probably your best so far…

*picture of her cleaned plate held up next to her face*

I quickly type out a response, keeping my phone close to me and the screen out of view.

Me

Oh yeah? Which one did you have tonight?

The veggie lasagna.

I continue staring down at my phone, forgetting my surroundings entirely.

"Wait, is that the girl from Riley's that night? The blonde?" Chloe clicks her fingers as if trying to remember Kate's name. "She hangs with your group, right?"

At least, I thought my phone was out of view.

"She does," I reply, locking my phone and placing it face down and out of sight.

Knitting her brows together, she ponders over what she's clearly just seen. "Are you guys dating? You call her Princess…" she trails off.

I fucking wish.

"No. She's just a really close friend who hates being called that, so I deliberately do it." I force out the whole sentence, which feels entirely unnatural. I'm also surprised she didn't see or remember Kate sprawled on my lap that night I walked her home. She must've been drunker than I thought.

"Aww, well, that's cute that you cooked for her."

"Chloe, are you hitting on my brother?" Hollie comes to stand beside me. No, to save me.

Although Hollie is clearly winding her best friend up, I don't miss the flush across Chloe's cheeks. In another world, and even though she's several years younger than me, I might be tempted to see how far that flush travels. But there isn't another woman on the face of this planet that interests me.

I want my blonde princess, just like I did that night. Nothing has changed, and it never will.

It's like Chloe's presence reminds me that while my sister's best friend might have the hots for me, there's only one woman who will ever turn my head.

Chloe stands and brushes down her gown. "I'm going to get another drink."

My sister squeezes her huge dress into the now vacant seat beside me and narrows her eyes straight in my direction, studying me. I don't like that look. "When were you planning on telling me?"

I snort and shake my head. "She just couldn't wait, could she?" My eyes scan the room until I find my mom standing at another table, talking to some family friends. I turn back to Hollie. "I planned on telling you after your big day."

"I'm still in shock. You, a dad to twins."

I nod. "Yep."

"Mom says you're in love with her."

I throw my head back and laugh. "I'm a lot of things about her."

"She's not in love with you?"

"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?" I wave a hand around the room. "Haven't you got guests to talk to?"

She flicks her long dark hair out to the side and pins her brown eyes on me again. The shade is almost identical to mine. "Technically, you are a guest. Plus, I'm a huge heap of love today." She straightens my bow tie, which I've yet to take off. "You look, I dunno, sad?"

"I'm not sad, Hollie. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Like what?"

How I'm going to transition from the friend zone where we occasionally fuck to being married.

I don't say anything.

"I think you should bring her to Alberta. Mom says she's been working, so she couldn't come." She sighs. "That's the trouble with a weekday wedding, but this was the only time Ed could get off from his hectic surgery schedule."

"I know Hollie. But I don't think she'd want to come. She'll meet my family as the mother of my children, but she isn't looking for anything with me."

"Well, I think you're a catch."

I nudge my shoulder against hers. "Thanks."

"Seriously. You need to bring her to meet us."

"I'm working on it, trust me. But I am running out of ideas."

"Just straight up tell her you're in love with her. Lay it all out there."

I wince. "I think I already did."

"Have you actually said the words, though?"

I shake my head. "No. Look, it's complicated. She knows what I want, and I'm just trying to hang in there."

"I still can't believe you're gonna be a dad! Will you find out what you're having?"

"Yeah, I think so. But she's only nine weeks. We haven't decided yet, but I fucking hope so. I need to buy all the baby shit, and yeah, I'm going for blue or pink."

She throws a palm to her chest in surprise. "Oh shit, I'm going to be an auntie! Twice!"

"You've only just worked that out?"

"Mom told me the news this morning, and I've only just processed it." She turns to me. "I want to meet her, Jensen. If you love her, then I know I will, too."

I raise a concerned brow. "Why does this idea worry me?"

"Well, it shouldn't." She taps her fingernails against her chin in thought. "I can take her baby shopping for clothes and things. Yes, I can come over one day to watch a game, stay at your place, and then take her shopping the next day."

Scrubbing a hand across my face, I know arguing is pointless. "You're not going to back down, are you?"

"Nope," she sings.

"Let me talk to her."

Hollie squeaks in delight.

"But!" I caution her. "Let me talk to her in my own time."

She claps excitedly. Christ, was I this excitable at twenty-eight?

"Okay. And just so you know, only Ed and I know, and obviously Mom and Dad. When do you think you'll tell the media?"

"They don't need to know anytime soon." I pause and side-eye my sister. "And when I let the pregnancy go public, I plan to do it as a couple."

I should be driving back to my apartment, ready to start preseason tomorrow. At least, that was the plan. Instead, I'm pulling into Kate's apartment parking lot and taking the stairs three at a time. It's been too long since I saw her. She's not expecting me tonight, but like that's ever stopped me.

Pulling out my key to her apartment, I know I'm pushing boundaries I shouldn't, especially since it's eleven at night and she's likely asleep.

But fuck, I can't stop myself as I turn the lock and walk into the darkened living room.

Shrugging off my jacket, I dump it on the couch. Next to go are my sneakers, which I leave in the hallway.

Her bedroom door is slightly open when I step inside and close it behind me.

The entire room smells of Kate, her shampoo, her detergent, her perfume. Just Kate.

Sitting at the foot of the bed, I watch her sleep, but I have no idea how much time passes. Five minutes, maybe ten?

What the fuck am I doing? She gave me this key just in case she needed me, not so I could sit and agonize over making her mine. Not so I could fantasize over what it would be like to finish a game or practice and head back to her bed rather than my own. Or better still, ours.

Resting my elbows on my knees, I hold my head in my hands.

"Jensen?"

Kate sits upright in bed, holding the covers over her chest.

Is she naked?

She reaches across and flicks on a soft green light on her nightstand. "What are you doing here?" she asks, confused.

"I—I, I came to check that you were doing okay."

Cocking her head to the side, she eyes me. "You spoke to me just before your flight. I've been a bit nauseous again, but I'm okay." She leans over to check the time on her phone. "Jesus, it's almost midnight."

"I can't stop thinking about you. About what we did in the shower. About how fucking awesome it was," I blurt out. My mouth is way ahead of my brain. "I had to see you."

"Jensen."

I hold up a hand. "I know. I get it."

Standing from the bed, I walk a couple of paces toward her door before her palm wraps around my forearm. Her touch awakens all my senses.

Staring straight at her door, I shake my head. "Am I just wasting my time, or will you ever be mine?"

"I don't know," she whispers.

I turn to look at her; that's the most she's ever given me. "It's killing me. This. Being near you, around you. I'm addicted to you, but I can't keep surviving on a hit here and there. I need it all."

Her eyes search mine in the warm glow of the room. "If I invite you into my bed tonight and ask you to make love to me, to make me feel something, will you do that?"

I bite the inside of my cheek so hard it draws blood, and I slide her hand down my forearm until our fingers intertwine. "You've been worried about me breaking your heart. But I've got a feeling you might shatter mine, Princess."

"I'm asking you to help me feel, to help me lower my walls."

"And then what?"

"And then there's a chance that I can be yours."