Chapter 87

Usually,when I start studying, I'm like a machine. I keep going until I've gotten through everything I intended to learn at the beginning of the session and then some.

But today, once again, I can't concentrate.

I keep thinking about Mason. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm worried about him. Really worried. I don't know what's going on in his head. And it scares me. The last time I saw him, there was something terrifying in his eyes. Every time I try to concentrate on my work, I see those bloodshot hazel eyes.

Finally, I give up on studying and decide to head over to Mason's suite. I've never actually been there before because we've been keeping our relationship casual and a bit hush-hush, but it doesn't seem to matter anymore since it's pretty much over. And I'm a little bit curious to see where he lives.

I drive over to the dorm where the vast majority of students are residing. I briefly considered living in the dorm because it was so cheap, but at my age, I couldn't stomach it. I needed my own apartment and my privacy—I couldn't imagine having to abide by some dorm rules and have a roommate sharing my bedroom.

Mason's apartment is on the third floor of the dorm. I find his apartment, and after only a brief hesitation, I knock on the door. By the heavy footsteps, I can tell that Abe is the one coming to answer the door. He looks slightly breathless as he pulls the door open, and I feel a twinge of sympathy as his face falls when he sees it's only me. I suspect he was hoping for Heather.

"Oh, hey, Sasha," he says. "Mason isn't here right now."

He knows about me and Mason. He's cleverer than I've given him credit for. I wonder who else in the class knows. Probably everyone.

"Do you know where he is?" I ask.

Abe glances at his watch.

"He's usually back by now," he says. "Do you want to wait?"

I look down at my own watch. It's about eleven at night. Where is he? I feel too antsy to go home, so I say, "Okay, I'll wait."

Abe steps back to let me in. I venture into the apartment, which is a total guys' apartment. There's food and laundry strewn everywhere, and the futon looks almost too dirty to sit on. I push aside some books and papers and make a small square of space to rest my behind. Abe at least has the decency to blush.

"Sorry the place is such a mess," he says as he plops down next to me.

"It's okay," I say. "My sisters were kind of slobs, so I'm used to it."

My stilted conversation with Abe makes me realize how little I know him. Or really, anyone in my class besides Mason. Abe is my lab partner, and we've had probably hundreds of verbal exchanges, but every single one of them has involved anatomy. Or at the very least, biochemistry.

"Are you feeling ready for the exam?" Abe asks me.

Back to familiar territory. I nod. "Sort of."

He laughs. "If anyone is ready, it's you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs. "You know it all, Sasha. Everyone knows that you're the top student in the class."

He's got to be messing with me. "No way."

"Way," he says. "I mean, Heather always says…" He stops mid-sentence, his words trailing off. He looks really sad again.

"Abe?"

He doesn't answer. His green eyes seem very far away.

"Do you," I venture carefully, "want to talk about Heather?"

It's not like me to make an offer like that. I'm feeling so guilty lately. Maybe talking to Abe would be penance for some of the things I've done wrong. Or at least it would be a start.

"No," he says. "I really don't."

Well, if he doesn't want to talk about it, it's not like I've got time to kill.