Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I paced the length of the porch as I spoke to Monica on the phone. She and Cedric were ready to install their magical pitfalls on my property and wanted to come within the hour.

The pragmatic part of me resisted. “Maybe you should wait until I make it back from Helheim.” If I failed, there’d be no point in setting traps.

“Let them come, Lorelei,” Ray urged. “It’ll be one less thing on your mind when you come home.”

When not if. Ray believed in me. I’d been angry with Kane for doubting me, and here I was doubting myself.

“Okay,” I said to Monica. “I’ll be here.” I hung up and stuffed the phone in my back pocket.

“I thought I was the one with the weight of the world on my shoulders.”

I swiveled to face Max. “It’s been a week,” I admitted.

“I feel you. One minute I’m chilling in the base of a volcano like usual and the next I’m covered in grass and twigs and dodging werewolves.”

I dropped to a seated position on the step. “Want to talk about it? ”

The cherufe slumped against a porch column. “Have you ever felt like the odd one out? Like all the other cards are Kings and you’re a Joker?”

“All the other cards can’t be Kings. There are only four of them.”

“What if there are only five cards?”

“Not playing with a full deck. Got it.”

Max tilted his head. “I see what you did there. Anyhoo, I thought we cards could coexist, you know? Live and let live.”

“These other cards are the same species as you?”

He nodded.

“And I’m guessing they’re the standard cherufe.”

“If by standard you mean evil and intent on destruction, then yes.”

“And you didn’t want to play their volcanic reindeer games?”

“They were planning another eruption, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was one thing to cause earthquakes when nobody lived nearby, but there are villages now.” He shook his head. “Even worse, they were hoping if they caused enough destruction, the humans would start sacrificing again. They miss the old days.”

“Why leave? Won’t they just cause an eruption without you?”

“A single cherufe is capable of tremors that aren’t even felt by most humans. Add another and you might register a 2.0 on the Richter scale. You get the idea. Leaving was the best way to help those people. It takes all five of us to reach catastrophic levels.”

“You mentioned in the forest you were told this was a safe haven.”

He nodded. “The others won’t give up easily. I had to flee somewhere that would make it difficult for them to drag me back. ”

I wrapped my arms around my knees to stave off the chill. “Who told you about Fairhaven?”

“One of the villages. At night I liked to linger nearby and listen. It was the closest I’d ever get to feeling a part of somewhere, you know?”

I did know. Max longed for a place where he felt safe and welcome. He wanted a home.

“One night I overheard someone talking to their friend about the Fairhaven crossroads, that they heard this was a good place to come if you were in trouble. There were people here who would help.” He knocked on the column. “Seems like you’re the people.”

“Those villagers owe you a great debt,” I said.

“Meh. I didn’t leave so anyone would owe me. I left because it seemed like the right thing to do.”

“You’re wrong about those cards, Max.”

“How so?”

“Must be a short deck because from where I’m sitting, there’s only one king.”

Monica was the first to arrive to implement Home Alone: the Castle edition. She carried a large tote bag in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other.

She marched past me into the foyer and stopped to dump her leather jacket on the coat rack. “This is the most useful thing you own,” she remarked.

“I happen to think it’s my kettle, but to each their own.”

“You could use a microwave to boil water, but where would you put your coat? It would have to lay on the floor.”

“I could drape it over the back of the sofa or hang it on the back the chair in the kitchen. Those are the options until I get more furniture. ”

She stopped just short of an eye roll. “Where’s your hand?”

“Claude? He’s around here somewhere. Centuries-old revenants tend to keep their own schedule.” I nodded at the brown bag. “You packed a lunch?”

“I always bring my own lunch when I’m working. I have Celiac. I can’t risk cross-contamination. The last thing you want when you’re staking out a target is to spend the next hour in a public restroom.”

“Not something I’ve ever had to think about.” For multiple reasons.

“Consider yourself lucky then. It’s a bitch of a condition. Everybody thinks it’s a lifestyle choice. No, my dude, some of us just aren’t keen on a hospital stay because we accidentally ingested breadcrumbs.”

I quickly added ‘no Celiac’ to the mental gratitude list.

“Would you like to get started or do you need to wait for Cedric?”

“I’d prefer to wait. He and I worked out a system, and it’s better if we start at the same time.” She cast a glance at the door. “He should be here any minute. He had errands to run first.”

“Does your lunch need to be refrigerated?”

“If you don’t mind.”

I took her brown bag and found a place for it on the top shelf. While we waited for Cedric, Monica made herself comfortable in the wicker chair on the porch. The chair had mysteriously appeared one day, and I still had no idea where it came from. Some mysteries weren’t worth investigating.

“You’ve got a great place here,” Monica said. “What a view of downtown.”

“You can even see the river from the balcony upstairs.”

Monica looked up. “Is that so?”

“It’s my designated thinking spot. ”

“Balconies are excellent in my line of work.”

I let the comment dangle between us, unwilling to dig any deeper.

Monica cracked open a can of sparkling water and swilled it. “I heard you have ghosts that haunt the property.”

“They don’t haunt it. They live here.”

“But they’re ghosts. They don’t live at all. They haunt.” She glanced around the yard. “Are they with us now?”

“They’re somewhere on the property.” Only because they couldn’t be anywhere else.

“Do you use your goddess mojo to make them help you around the house, like indentured servants?”

I bristled. “No. They help of their own accord. I don’t make them do anything.”

“More unpaid labor, huh? That’s impressive. You’ll have to teach me your methods. I could use free service on my Mercedes. My mechanic is pricey as hell.”

“Unless he’s a ghost, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I can make him one, if that helps.” She winked. “Cool. Cedric’s here.”

The mage passed through the gate, activating the ward. He wore a black backpack that sagged at the bottom. For a fleeting moment, I worried he brought his last job to the Castle.

“Hold up at the bank?” Monica asked.

“Not a literal one. Just some lady in front of me whose kid couldn’t decide between the purple and green lollipops. Finally, I grabbed them both and made him take the yellow one.”

“Yellow? Good gods, man. You’re cruel,” Monica said, laughing.

With that attitude, I was glad they were on my team.

Cedric stopped at the step and unzipped his backpack. “We should get started. ”

I walked around the yard to gather the crew. If the mages were planting pitfalls, it seemed only right that everyone here should be aware of the details.

I returned to the front yard with the ghosts and Max. I spotted Claude working beside Monica inside the gate, digging a hole in the ground with a spade.

“What’s with the marbles?” Ray asked.

I squinted to see Monica dropping a black marble into the hole and then filling it in with dirt. “They’re enchanted.”

“Are they like landmines?” Ray asked. “Because Claude will have to be careful not to lose a finger.”

“If Claude loses a finger, he can just reattach it,” I said. “Sort of like the rest of his body parts.”

“What about you?” Nana Pratt asked. “It doesn’t seem safe for anyone living.”

“The marbles aren’t landmines.” At least I didn’t think so. Now I felt compelled to verify.

I ambled across the bridge to Monica. “The ghosts are concerned that the marbles will blow up whoever steps over them.”

“Oh, no. This row will just blow them back through the gate. That’s why I’m placing them strategically.”

“How does the marble know who’s safe and who isn’t?”

“You’re the only one who can activate them,” she explained. “They won’t bother the mail carrier or the voter registration volunteers.”

“What if you’re not home?” Nana Pratt asked. “Shouldn’t we be able to activate them in your absence?”

I wasn’t positive I trusted the elderly ghost to make such heavy decisions. Knowing her, she’d send Gun flying because he wore high heel boots.

“If I’m not home, then the worst anyone can do is burn down my house. As long as I’m not in it, I’ll consider it a win. ”

“What if they lie in wait for you?” Ray proposed.

“Then you can warn me at the gate.”

Nana Pratt sniffed. “You always want to be in charge.”

“I would rather not saddle you with the weight of a life-or-death decision, that’s true. What if you’re mistaken and you hurt an innocent person? Would you be able to handle the consequences of your actions?”

The elderly ghost nibbled at her lip. “I don’t think I would make a mistake.”

“You were wrong about Gun and Cam,” I reminded her. “You changed your tune about Aite too. You would’ve blown her to smithereens before you ever got the chance to bake cookies with her.”

Nana Pratt peeked at Ray. “What about you?”

“I don’t want the responsibility. There are too many unknown variables and, as Lorelei said, I’m unprepared to deal with the fallout.” His brow furrowed. “Although I don’t like putting all this on your shoulders either. It seems unfair to ask you to bear the brunt of it.”

“If it weren’t for me, there’d be no brunt to bear,” I replied. “I’m the reason The Corporation is a threat to all of us.”

Cedric whistled and waved me over to the moat.

“Are you going to rig the water?”

“Of course. It’s one of your best defenses. We’d be fools not to utilize it.”

“But I’ll still be able to float when the weather warms up, right? I have an inflatable swan.”

“It’s a moat, not a swimming pool.”

“I know, but there’s no reason it can’t serve two purposes.”

“You should consider alligators,” Cedric said. “Monica can enchant those, too, so they only hurt designated targets.”

“I’ve enchanted crocodiles in Ecuador and Venezuela,” she said. “The real beauty of them is their stomachs are so acidic that they can digest bones, so there’s no mess to clean up afterward.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Have I mentioned how happy I am to have you on my side?”

Monica dropped another marble in a hole. “We’re not on your side. We’re on our side.”

“But you voted to help me when the Wild Hunt was coming to town.”

“Because we felt it was in our best interest,” Monica replied. “It wasn’t about you.” She paused, noting my expression. “It isn’t personal, Clay. Sullivan obviously likes you and that counts for quite a bit in my book.”

“And if he wasn’t part of the equation?”

She shrugged. “I do what makes the most sense for me. Same as Cedric.”

I couldn’t really blame them. Most people acted in their own best interest; it was in their nature. A survival instinct. I’d lied to everyone in Fairhaven because I’d decided that secrecy and deception were in my best interests. Granted, that message had been instilled in me by Pops, but the reason was the same. Safety. Protection. Survival. Thousands of years of evolution, yet we were still behaving like our ancestors. We’d invented airplanes, rockets, computers, brain surgery, and the cappuccino, but we’d still stampede a friend to escape a fire—maybe not all of us, but many would. And what was the point of all these enchanted marbles being planted in my yard?

Survival yet again.

What was the point of the avatar program? It wasn’t just power. For the deities themselves, it was also survival.

Maybe I had more in common with them than I previously believed.

“Lorelei? ”

I snapped back to reality and listened to Cedric explain his intentions for the moat. I drew the line at reptiles, but his alternate suggestions were solid. Max even offered a few ideas of his own.

Cedric cast a curious glance at the cherufe. “How many people do you have living here?”

“Two of them are dead,” Monica interjected.

“Three of them are, technically, and Max is a temporary guest.”

“Claude doesn’t seem dead,” Monica said. “He’s got more personality in his funky pinky than most of the dates I’ve had this year.”

Nana Pratt was so impressed by the mages that, during their lunch break, she produced a tin of oatmeal raisin cookies she’d been saving for West’s next visit.

Monica examined the cookies. “I guess these aren’t gluten free.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Too bad. I’ve never had food made by a ghost before. Does it taste any different?”

“The ingredients are all corporeal,” I assured her. “Only the baker is a spirit.”

Cedric wolfed down four oatmeal raisin cookies. I was impressed by his lack of restraint. He ate as many as he wanted without apology and washed them down with a bottle of beer.

“Give my regards to the baker,” he said, dusting the crumbs from his hands. “These cookies are amazing.”

Nana Pratt beamed. “Oh, I’m so pleased. I added a handful of golden raisins this time, so I wasn’t sure how they’d turn out.”

“Her secret ingredient is golden raisins,” I told the mage.

Cedric nodded his approval. “I don’t typically like oatmeal raisin, but these were killer. I’ll have to try that recipe at home during our next family baking session.”

After lunch, the mages returned to work in the yard. I stayed in the kitchen to rinse the plates and bottles. Beside me, Nana Pratt looked ready to burst into tears.

“Are you okay?” I asked, as I put the bottles in the recycling bin.

“Yes, dear. Thank you for asking.”

“You heard Cedric. He loved your cookies.”

“Oh, I know.”

“Then why are you on the verge of tears?”

“They’d be happy tears, if I were capable of producing any. Your visitor had such kind words to say. It felt good to hear them.”

I turned to give her my full attention. “By all accounts, you were an incredible homemaker. I would’ve thought you had compliments coming out the wazoo.”

“Language, Lorelei.”

“Sorry, compliments coming out the anus.”

She gave me a sharp look before continuing. “My husband wasn’t very complimentary. There were expectations, and I either met them or I didn’t.” Her gaze dropped to the floor. “But never any expression of gratitude or praise for a job well done. That wasn’t something he was capable of.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re getting it now,” I said.

Her head bobbed. “Yes, absolutely. Better late than never.”

While the mages continued their work outside, I retreated to my bedroom to sharpen my blades for Helheim. Today had provided a nice distraction, but the impending journey was never far from my thoughts.

As I closed my weapons trunk, Phaedra called to say she and Ashley were ready to install the upgraded ward.

“Perfect timing,” I told her. I’d feel better about leaving for another realm knowing the property was secure. Despite what I’d told Ray and Nana Pratt, I worried that The Corporation would find a way to use the ghosts as leverage against me. The more obstacles I put in their way, the less chance they had.

Once the mages were ready to leave, they took me on a tour of the property, explained the purpose of each device, and showed me how to activate them. I typed notes on my phone as we went, not trusting myself to recall each and every detail. They’d done far more work than I expected, for which I was grateful.

“They vary in intensity,” Cedric said. “You’ll want to be strategic about which weapons you utilize first.”

“Can we call them something else?” Nana Pratt asked. “Weapons make them sound so serious.”

I glanced over my shoulder at her. “They are serious.”

“Let’s refer to them as defensive measures.”

“Po-tay-toe. Po-tah-toe.” I turned back to Cedric. “Won’t it depend on which part of the yard they’re trying to enter?”

He shook his head. “They can be standing at the gate, and you can still activate what I added to your backyard. Totally depends on your needs. If The Corporation sends a fire monster, for example, use the devices in the moat. They’re obviously water based.”

Nana Pratt shuddered. “What does a fire monster look like?”

I shrugged. “Could be anything from a dragon to a Ninki Nanka.”

“A Ninki Nanka sounds adorable,” the elderly ghost said.

“It’s an enormous reptilian swamp monster from West Africa that can breathe fire.”

Her face fell. “Never mind.”

“This really is Home Alone ,” Ray remarked. “Except I doubt The Corporation intruders will be as inept as Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern. ”

If only.

“Thank you for this,” I told the mages. “I know you didn’t do it out of the goodness of your hearts, so no need to remind me, but I appreciate it all the same.”

Monica packed up her tote bag on the porch. “No biggie. Like Cedric said, it was fun to flex our creative muscles. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy the artistic side of our abilities.”

“If you have trouble with any of the traps, you know where to reach me,” Cedric added. “Call any hour, and I’ll answer.”

“Now that’s service,” Ray remarked.

Monica and Cedric collected what remained of their belongings and headed to their respective vehicles.

“You should stockpile supplies,” Max said. “It’s all well and good to fortify your Castle, but if there’s a siege, you’ll need enough supplies to outlast your opponent.”

“This is Fairhaven, not medieval Europe.”

Max motioned to the yard. “I just watched you set up the supernatural equivalent of defense artillery. A siege is every bit as likely.”

Terrific. I crossed one big job off the list only to add another one. This was starting to feel like just another version of hell.

Phaedra and Ashley were next to arrive to install the upgraded ward. Phaedra explained how to approve regular visitors in advance, create limited admittance for others, rescind approval, and lower the ward completely.

“And instead of getting your arm tickled or whatever effect the ward has now,” Ashley added, “you’ll get a vision of the visitor.”

“The bad news is I need your blood to activate it,” Phaedra said.

Ashley rushed to add, “But the good news is we only need a few drops at the gate and that’ll be enough to support the entire border.”

Nana Pratt was thrilled to see her granddaughter in action.

“She sounds so smart,” the ghost said in awe.

I had no doubt Phaedra was a great teacher. She possessed all the right attributes—patience, knowledge, generosity, and kindness. Considering her family, Phaedra was nothing short of a miracle.

“Thank you for this,” I told them, once the ward was up and running. “You’ve gone above and beyond.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Phaedra replied. “You’re the liminal deity of the crossroads. Friendship aside, it’s in this town’s best interest to keep you safe.”

“On the subject of friendship, are you free later? I know it’s last minute, but I’d like to invite you for game night.”

“You’re hosting?” Phaedra eyed me with suspicion, and with good reason. She’d once accused me of only seeing her when I needed something—which was absolutely true. It was time to remedy that.

“Yes. All the trimmings.” I hesitated. “What are trimmings?”

“Popcorn?” Ashley offered.

“What time is this momentous occasion?” Phaedra asked.

“Eight o’clock?”

“Make it seven, and I’ll be here. I like to be in my flannels by nine-thirty.”

Ashley cut her a glance. “We need to work on that. Life is for the living.”

“Not necessarily,” I replied, thinking of my resident ghosts.

“Your assistance ends at witchcraft,” Phaedra told her.

Ashley pretended to zip her lip. “I have plans tonight, and if I play my cards right, I won’t be in pajamas until nine thirty tomorrow morning.”

Nana Pratt gasped.

“Your grandmother is concerned,” I said.

Ashley grimaced. “Shit. She heard that?”

“Language!” Nana Pratt hissed.

“Pro tip,” Ashley said. “She’s a big fan of Hungry Hungry Hippos. If you want to see her competitive side, bust that out and prepare yourself for bloodshed.”

“Thanks. I never would have guessed.”

“There was only bloodshed one time because Steven got his finger caught in the mouth trying to steal a marble,” Nana Pratt mumbled.

Phaedra and Ashley left, and I sat on the step of the front porch and observed the changed landscape. From my vantage point, the yard looked much the same, apart from a few small mounds of dirt that weren’t there this morning.

“Do you feel any better?” Ray asked.

I twisted to look at him. “Do you?”

“I’m not the one in danger.”

That wasn’t true, but I saw no reason to quibble. Sharing my concerns would only make him feel worse.

“If we build it, they will come,” Nana Pratt said.

Ray and I swiveled to face her. “Wrong sentiment, Ingrid.”

“But it’s from the movie you like,” she protested.

“ Field of Dreams , yes, but in this scenario, we don’t want them to come. We’re building up the defenses so that, if they come…”

“When,” I interrupted. “When they come.”

“We’re building up our defenses so that when they come, we’re ready for them.”

Nana Pratt’s gaze came to rest on me. “And are we ready, Lorelei?”

I released a steadying breath. “As ready as we’ll ever be.”