Prologue

Apple

One Year Ago

I was so nervous I thought I might throw up. Deacon had promised to make me his old lady when I turned eighteen. That birthday had been exactly a year ago, and still he kept putting me off. Tonight, I planned on making him follow through. I knew he thought I needed time to grow up, get some life experience under my belt but I knew I wanted to be with Deacon.

I raised my hand and knocked on Deacon's door before I could change my mind again. He still lived in the clubhouse, though Sting had given him his own house in anticipation of him claiming me. We'd decorated it together, but he hadn't moved in and I hadn't either. I wasn't sure what he was waiting on, but it seemed like he was reluctant to take that last step. It wasn't that I thought he didn't want me so much as it felt like he was pulling back, yet holding me tight all at the same time.

Seconds later, Deacon opened the door.

"Hi, baby." He grinned at me, stepping back so I could enter. He shut and locked the door, then turned around and opened his arms to me. "Come here."

I grinned, leaping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. Deacon found my lips with his and kissed me like he meant it. It was all I could do to contain my excited squeal. This was it. Tonight. I wanted this with everything in me!

Deacon thrust his tongue between my lips expertly, making my belly quiver and my pussy ache. I think I'd loved Deacon from the first moment I met him. I'd let him think me and Lemon were eighteen and he'd gotten just past first base. Or, rather, I guess I should say I'd gotten just past first base with him. Because Deacon had known something was up and kept things pretty simple. Yeah. That had gotten me a good lecture.

Being in his arms was like the beginning of a beautiful adventure. I was so excited to finally be able to follow him where I thought we both wanted to go. I wasn't naive enough to think he'd been a saint. The man was in his late twenties, and I'd just turned nineteen. I wanted him to show me everything. Where he led, I followed.

"You always taste so sweet, Applejack." I had to smile at his nickname for me. Only he called me that, and only in private. It was ours.

"Mmm…" I lost any doubt Deacon loved me with one sweep of his tongue. His arms were so strong around me, like armor keeping the whole world out if I didn't want it inside.

I could feel his cock pressed against his jeans, rubbing against my clit with every move we made. For the first time, I embraced all the sensations of pleasure and need and hunger roiling inside me. Always before, I knew we had to stop. I wasn't old enough and Deacon was too good a man to have claimed me before I was. But today…

"I don't want to wait, Deacon," I whispered. "Not anymore."

"Me neither, baby. But I've gotta give you your property patch in front of the club. You also gotta get inked."

"But --" He silenced me with a kiss before laying me down on the bed and covering me with his heavy body. His actions belied his words. I found the ridge of his cock and rubbed myself against him.

"No, Apple." His tone was stern, but he continued to kiss me, nipping at my jaw and neck before placing a lingering kiss to the swell of my breast. He stood, reaching for me and pulling me to my feet. "Not until I give you the vest." He grinned. "And not in the clubhouse. We're goin' home." He cupped my face and kissed me once more before unlocking the door and pulling me after him back to the common room.

Deacon grinned, draping an arm over my shoulders possessively. He looked proud to have me with him. Several of the guys clapped him on the shoulder good-naturedly and gave me a nod of acknowledgement. The Iron Tzars might be as wild as any other MC, but they were respectful of their women. Besides, everyone knew Lemon would have their balls if they weren't. Also, Wylde would likely have done his worst. He might be the tech guy, but Wylde was more than what he showed on the surface.

"Deacon!" Roman called to him from across the room. The party had started, though the place was more sedate than I'd seen in the past. Especially since me and Lemon were the guests of honor, so to speak. I was sure that was why there were only a couple of club girls in the area, and they were there strictly to keep the food coming when Iris told them.

Deacon raised his hand to the enforcer. Instead of a welcoming smile, however, Roman looked serious. Like he was displeased in the extreme.

"Deacon? What's wrong?" I gripped Deacon's hand in both of mine, looking up at him. There was a look of dread briefly before his expression closed off. I glanced back at Roman who was giving Deacon a hard look in return.

"Nothin', Applejack," he murmured, leaning close to my ear. "I'll be right back." Deacon kissed my temple as he wrapped his arms around me in a fierce hug. He strode to Roman, who took him into Sting's office and shut the door. It was over an hour before the three of them exited the room. Roman said something to Deacon, who nodded. Sting gripped Deacon's shoulder, before slapping it in a show of solidarity and encouragement. Whatever had happened couldn't be too bad. Right?

Deacon scanned the room until he found me. He flashed a tight smile before heading in my direction. Once he reached me, he pulled me back into his arms and hugged me tightly for several long seconds.

"What's going on?"

"I'll explain in a minute. Let's go home first."

"Right now? The party's just started." I grinned up at him. Unease had settled in my belly. I knew something was wrong and wasn't sure I wanted to go with him right now. The longer I put off leaving, the longer I had this one night with him. Because I knew something was about to happen I wouldn't like.

"I'm sorry, honey. This can't wait." He gave me a sad, gentle look, but I could see the truth in his eyes.

I shook my head. "I don't want to, Deacon."

He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. Gripping my hand firmly, he tugged me after him. When we got to the parking lot, he led me to his bike and climbed on. "Ride with me, Applejack." He held out his hand for me to grip for balance if I wanted to climb on. He almost willed me to take his hand.

As if I could deny him anything. I loved Deacon.

He rode me around the property for a while. I always loved the feeling of the wind in my hair as he sped over the hard paths. It felt like I was flying. The one time I'd been on the open road with Deacon especially. Even with a helmet, I'd never felt more free in my life.

All too soon the ride ended and Deacon pulled up outside the little house we'd been given. I should have been excited. This was the moment I'd been waiting for. To be at the house with the intention of having sex with Deacon. Only, I knew that wasn't going to happen. He hadn't given me his property cut. So, whatever came next wasn't going to be welcomed.

He helped me remove my helmet and lashed it to the back of his bike. Then he took my hand and we went inside. Deacon locked the door but stood with his hands on the door, his forehead against the wood.

Carefully, I placed a hand on his back. "What's going on, Deacon?" My voice was so soft I wasn't sure if he'd heard me, but after letting out a deep breath, Deacon turned to face me.

"You know I love you, right, Apple?"

I nodded. "Yes. I know."

"Then I need you to trust me. I'm going to have to wait to give you your property cut."

"Why?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but I was very near tears. "This was the plan. We were going to be together."

"We will be, Apple. I just need a year. One year. Use it to spend time with your sister doing stuff young women your age normally do."

"What is this, Deacon? I don't want to go on trips or to parties unless it's with you."

"Honey, there is something I have to take care of. It's going to require I be gone a lot over the next several months. I don't think it's fair to ask you to wait for me."

"Wait…" Dread washed through me and I shook my head. "Are you… are you breaking up with me?"

"One year, Apple. Give me a year. If you haven't found someone you want more than me, I'll be home and I'll beg you to take me back."

"Are you going to be with other women?"

"Honey, I swear to you, I've not been with another woman since I made a commitment to you. Not in the whole three years since I've known you. That's not going to change. Not as long as you're not in a relationship."

I watched him for a long time, studying his expression. His eyes. Looking for anything that might give me some hint as to what was going on. I found nothing.

With a sigh, I nodded. "I'll be waiting on you when you come home. I don't want this to be the end."

He gave me a gentle smile. "It won't. I promise."

"Why did you want us to come here? If you're not giving me your cut yet, are we still, uh, are we going to sleep together?"

"We're not going to have sex tonight, honey. But I want to spend the night with you. I want to hold you all night while you sleep."

"We can still make love, Deacon. I want you."

"I want you too, honey. But I have to leave in the morning. I'm not sure when I'll be back, and even when I am, I might not be able to stay long. I'm not using this as an excuse to take what I want without committing to you." He cupped my face in both his hands, leaning over to brush a tender kiss over my lips. "I'm going to hold you while you sleep. You're going to give me this one night. After I leave, we'll revisit us in a year."

"I'll wait, Deacon. Just… try to talk to me as much as you can? Make sure to see me whenever possible?"

He smiled reassuringly at me. "I promise to do everything possible to stay in contact with you, Applejack."

I took him at his word. He held me all night long. With Deacon wrapped around me, I'd never slept so well as I did that night. Sure, I woke occasionally, but only to shift my position. Always, Deacon whispered softly to me until I dozed back off. It was paradise.

* * *

The next few months, Deacon called me at least once a week. Then it backed off to once every other week. By the time our year was up, I hadn't talked to him the entire last two months before he'd promised he'd be home.

It was another two months before he finally came back to Iron Tzars MC. When he did, Deacon wasn't the same person he'd been when he'd left.