CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

DALIA

I pride myself on being a strong independent woman, but as Aries walks to the door, I feel anything but. The urge to run to him, fall to my knees, and hold onto him like a child begging him to not leave me is strong, but I have to keep my shit together for our son, who is barely holding it together. I never expected them to bond so quickly, but Aries has become the center of his world in a short time.

Aries squats down in front of our son, as he frequently does to be on the same level, and says, "I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?"

Ares chews on his bottom lip, trying so hard not to cry, and his dad stares at him like he's trying to memorize every feature on his heartbroken face, "It's okay to cry. Boys cry too, and you know I'll be crying too. I'll miss you, but I promise I'll be here in three weeks."

I'm already a mess when our son wraps his arms around his neck and cries, "I love you, daddy."

It's the first time he has said either of these things to Aries, and my composure all vanishes like a speck of dust. Holding my hand over my face, I try to cover up my sob, but Aries glances at me with unshed tears in his eyes, "I love you too, son. Do me a favor while I'm gone?"

He pulls back from Aries with a nod, "Take care of your mom for me."

Aries hugs him again, "You're an amazing kid. Can I have a minute with your mom?"

When he lets him go, our son turns to me, "Can I play Xbox ?"

I force a smile on my face, "For a little bit."

He doesn't get to play video games a lot, but I think today anything that distracts him is fine. We both watch as he runs off to the den to play his favorite Spiderman game.

Standing up, Aries grabs me and pulls me into his arms, "Jesus Christ, Dalia, how do I do this? I had this plan coming here. I was going to make you fall so in love with me, you'd come home with me, and we'd live this life I want so desperately. Then I find out I have a son, and want it all so much more, but can't have it. I don't know how to leave."

I touch the side of his face, feeling that stubble under my fingertips that I love so much, "You kiss me, tell me you love me, and you walk out the door. That's the only way. I want you to stay, you want to, but we both know that's not how today goes."

He slides his hands up my neck, to my face, "I love you, Dalia. So goddamn much."

Leaning down, he presses his lips to mine and kisses me in a slow, sensual kiss. There's so much love in it, but also heartbreak, because this is how it's going to be. A day or two of being together, and then weeks apart. Rinse and repeat.

Pulling back, he stares into my eyes, "Impossible. I love you. I'll call you when I can."

He walks to the door, and I say to his back, "I love you."

His hand pauses on the knob and he turns back to me, ready to say the one word for some reason I can't handle, "Don't say it. Just go."

I wipe the tears on my cheeks, and go find Ares to check on him, as I tell myself to stop being such a big baby. It's only three weeks.

Four Days Later…

Aside from a few text messages, I haven't heard from Aries. He said he'd call when he could, but I'm not sure when that'll be. Chances are high that he's working when I'm awake. I know from the way my brothers are, that they keep erratic long hours, so I'm trying not to think the worst but it's challenging. My girls call and check on me every day, attempting to give assurances that we'll get through this. I'm not going to end things with Aries, but I don't see an end in sight.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table sipping my third cup of coffee when my phone rings. I glance at my phone, and see ‘Future Husband' followed by Facetime Video, and my heart starts pounding. Setting my coffee down, I hit accept.

"Aries, thank God."

He smiles at me with his lopsided grin, but suddenly his face turns serious.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

I shake my head and lie through my teeth, "Nothing. I miss you. Is everything okay?"

"Fuck, I miss you, Dalia. How is Ares?"

Forcing a smile on my face, I say, "He's good, at school, of course. It would mean a lot if you could call back when he's here. He misses you."

He runs a hand through his hair, "I know. I'm sorry. Every time I go to call, it's so late that you'd both be in bed."

We both get quiet and he finally speaks, "Dalia, I need you to tell me what's going on, because you're scaring me. I know you're not alright."

I stare at the screen, wishing I was in his arms, knowing I won't be for another two and a half weeks, "I'm fine, just tired."

"Are you not sleeping?" He asks with obvious concern.

"The nightmares are back. It's not a big deal, I can handle it."

Aries shakes his head, "Fuck. I'm sorry."

I shrug, because there's nothing that can be done. I've had nightmares since it all happened. The only time I don't is when Aries is in bed with me. I don't understand it, but Giada swears it's because he makes me feel safe, even when I'm not aware.

"I'm okay. Honestly, I'm used to it, Aries."

He sighs loudly, "That doesn't make it right. You shouldn't even have nightmares. And if you do, I should be there."

"Don't. Let's talk about something else."

"Do you want me to grab lunch for us today?" I hear from a female voice and instantly catch Aries cringing, knowing full well what's coming.

"No, Sheila. Get out. Now."

When the door closes, he stares back into the phone screen, "Dalia, baby, calm down, it's not-"

"I swear to God, if you say it's not what it looks like, I'm disconnecting this call."

He closes his eyes and sighs audibly, "Baby, she's my secretary, that's it."

I shake my head in disgust, with him or myself, I'm not even sure which, "I have to go."

"Baby, please don't do this. I love you. I would never-"

"I can't do this," I say and disconnect the call.

ARIES

If she only knew what I'm doing to be with her permanently, she wouldn't even think there was a chance I was fucking someone else. I didn't for six goddamn years while looking for her, why the hell would I do that now?

I'm about five seconds from choking Sheila out for walking into my office without knocking. Dalia completely overreacted but I'm not mad at her, I get it. We are in a difficult situation, and add to it the lack of sleep, and it's not helpful at all. Lack of sleep will drive a person insane. I fucking hate it that I'm not there to hold her through it. It's strange though, because I've never seen her have one to my knowledge. Mind you, not all nightmares means someone wakes up screaming, but I've never seen anything to indicate it.

"Mr. De Luca is here to see you, Mr. Lombardi," Sheila calls through the speaker phone, since she's not allowed in my office anymore. I sent flowers to Dalia after our phone call, but if she got them she hasn't contacted me.

Domenic walks into my office with a surprised expression on his ugly face, "Hey, asshole, you look like shit."

"Thanks, dickhead, have a seat."

After he takes a seat on the other side of my desk, he gets right to the point, "The Rossis are being difficult."

I lean back in my chair, rubbing my temples, "How so?"

"Well, they want shit I don't have."

Just as I'm about ready to growl at him to spit it out, he says, "They want rocket launchers and grenades. We deal in weapons, handguns, rifles, machine guns, but what the hell do you need rocket launchers and grenades for, unless you're invading a country?"

I shrug, "I'll handle it. Rossi is crazy, and paranoid that we're all coming for his family."

In our world it's not ridiculous to think at some point that will happen, but he takes it further than most of us. We take precautions, but this man has frequent meltdowns and is confident he is being followed. It makes it difficult to work with him, because everything you do is perceived as a threat.

I chuckle as I remember my interaction with him two years ago, "One time I was in a meeting with him, totally civil, just renegotiating terms, and I unbuttoned my jacket when I went to sit down and he pulled a gun on me. He thought I was pulling out a firearm, but I was just trying to sit the fuck down. He is crazy but I wouldn't worry about it. He keeps the grenades and launchers at his house, to be ready for the imminent attack that likely isn't coming."

He rubs his hand over his jaw in quiet contemplation, "I should put Drake on it but the old man probably wouldn't live through a meeting with him."

The truth is that he shouldn't be the head of his family anymore. His son should've taken over long ago, because one of two things will happen, either he'll get himself killed, or land the entire family in prison. He's losing it and becoming a liability to everyone that matters to him.

"How's my sister?"

Again I rub my temples, knowing my day is about to get fucking worse, "Not good. She thinks I'm three hours away fucking around on her."

He clenches his fists, "And why would she think that?"

I chuckle at his reaction, because while we're working together and getting along for the most part, Domenic is always ready to punch my face in, he's always waiting for a reason to justify it.

"We were on Facetime, and she heard my secretary come in and lost it. Fucking hung up on me. I didn't fuck anyone for six years. I'm sure as hell not going to now that I've got her."

He stops rubbing his jaw, and looks at me like I've grown an extra head, "Come on, man. I'm not an idiot, you must have fucked another woman in all that time."

I shrug my shoulders with a chuckle, "Crazy, I know, but the moment I laid eyes on her, I never wanted anybody else."

He shakes his head as he rises from his chair, "I don't know if you're crazy about her, or just plain crazy."

Walking to the door, he throws over his shoulder, "Later, asshole."

I respond the same as I always do, "Bye, dickhead. Have the day you deserve."