Chapter 8

Rose

A fter hours of dreamless sleep, I found myself sitting on the soft golden sand in the liminal space again. Exhaustion still weighed heavily upon my bones, the consequences of months without proper rest. It was enough that I wanted to cry… and even more so when I realized it would be so much longer before I'd truly be able to relax.

My body felt a thousand pounds heavier than it should as I hefted myself up, brushing the sand off my butt and turning away from the peaceful ocean to look further up the beach.

"I'm here to fulfill my promise," I called out to the souls.

There was no answer, only silence. For a moment, my anxiety spiked, and my mind supplied the many reasons why they might not be responding, each worse than the last. I tried to shove them down, breathing and counting back from ten like Aeden had taught me. Had I waited too long? Or had they decided I couldn't be trusted to keep my promise?

Before I could spiral too far down the self-depreciating hole my brain was digging for me, a brush against my awareness alerted me to their arrival. When I opened my eyes, the thirteen souls shimmered into existence. My shoulders sagged in relief.

Looking at them, feeling the weight of their collective gaze and expectation, was daunting. The responsibility I had to them was not something I took lightly. More than that, they deserved to finally move on. To rest.

"I don't know how I can help you. Can you teach me? Do you know how?" I asked, taking each of them in and noting the splendor of their auras, each unique and exquisite.

The souls looked at one another, conferring silently among themselves. The quiet dragged on, one minute tumbling into another, and my anxiety rose once again, claws to the tethers I'd tried to put on it. The rational part of my mind whispered that they might not know the answer themselves. All I could do was wait.

So I did.

Finally, one of the souls, their aura a bright turquoise like a pool of water in the summer sun, stepped forward while the rest stepped back. They approached, their arm outstretched, and when they were within touching distance, they stopped. Their intent was clear: take my hand .

I reached out and put my hand in theirs. To my surprise, their hand felt as solid and real as a living person's. I gave it a squeeze, hoping that they knew I wanted to help. They returned it. A voice whispered across my mind then, so soft and airy I almost missed it.

Witness me , said the voice. Witness my death.

I nodded. "Anything you need, I will do."

They squeezed my hand again, but this time, there was a tug in my sternum. That was all the warning I got before my whole sense of self shook, like I was being pulled from my body. Everything around me was a blur of colors and light. Almost as soon as it started, it finished, everything that was me settling into something... no, someone else.

I blinked.

Nothing around me was familiar, not even the feminine body I inhabited looked or felt like mine. The plaid miniskirt and white turtleneck were at least a few decades out of fashion to my eyes but were nonetheless very cute, as were the bright Lisa Frank-esque nails gracing the tips of this body's fingers. I was sitting on a green couch in a living room, an old fashion magazine perched upon my crossed legs. The décor was very dated; a wall phone with a long, curly cord hung between the living room and the kitchen. Everything was still, as if paused. The clock on the mantle was frozen, its hands hovering at 3:42—afternoon, judging by the golden glow of the sun's rays filtering in through the windows. I couldn't move, despite my attempts, left to wonder what the hell was going on.

It took a few seconds for me to catch up, but all at once, it dawned on me: I was seeing through the soul's eyes—the person she'd been when she were alive. I was in their memory. Taking a deep breath, I signaled to the soul that I was ready to see what she wanted me to see. A ripple of power flowed out of me, and the world around me unpaused, plunging me even further into the memory.

The air was thick with magic.

Molly must be tinkering again, I—no, the soul thought.

Molly was always playing around with magic of some sort. She was so curious! There were so many projects and spells and things she worked on in her free time, and it was so exciting to see what she dreamed up.

One day, she's going to be famous for her magical inventions, I just know it.

There was a sudden pop. The pressure in the house built to an uncomfortable level.

I think I need to go check on her. She might need help.

The soul tossed the magazine onto the coffee table and stood up to see what was going on. Walking past the kitchen, they went to the back hallway where Molly's bedroom was. As the soul got closer, she could hear Molly mumbling to herself, growling even, sending a chill through her—our?—body. Why was she so frustrated?

When the soul got to Molly's door, she knocked before opening it. Molly was sitting at her desk, seashells, papers, and books chaotically strewn about in front of her. She looked young, maybe fifteen or sixteen, and she was writing something down furiously. One shell stood out, though. One shell that made my whole being freeze.

A pink scallop shell.

"Hey, kiddo," the soul said. "You alright in here?"

"I'm fine, Erina!" Molly screeched. But we didn't react. She'd been so moody and upset lately that her ire wasn't a surprise.

"Alright. You'd let me know if you needed help with anything, right?" the soul—Erina—asked.

"Why? So you can lord it over me that you're better than me? More powerful than me?"

The bitterness, the revulsion in her voice was like a slap across the face. It shocked Erina. Where is this coming from?

"What do you mean by that, Molly? Have I done something like that? I'm so sorry if I have," she rushed to say. Molly was her baby sister, I realized. Erina loved her with everything she had.

"Don't play stupid, Erina! We both know you think you're better than me! Just because I'm not a siren doesn't mean that I'm not strong and powerful!"

Erina blinked, more shocked than before. "I don't think I'm better than you, sweetheart. I promise."

"Liar!" screamed Molly, standing up so fast her chair tipped over and clattered to the floor. "You and Mom and Dad always talk about how I'm different from you! I'm not stupid!"

"I promise you that we don't think you're stupid or weak." Erina put her hands in front of her to try to placate the raging Molly. "The only difference between us is that we have the siren song, and you don't. Otherwise, we are the same. We're all merfolk."

Erina didn't know where this was coming from. It was true that there were things Molly couldn't do and didn't have to worry about, like accidentally singing with power in her voice, but Erina and their parents had always tried to make sure she knew that didn't matter. Molly was, and always had been, breathtakingly powerful on her own, even without the siren song.

"I don't care!" she screamed. "I want to have the siren song, too!"

Erina opened her mouth to tell their little sister that they could talk about this with Mom and Dad later, but she never got the chance. Molly pulled the pink scallop shell off the desk and thrust it forward. The air crackled again as Erina felt her aura, her soul, being stripped away. It was mere moments before the world went dark…

I blinked hard and was back to myself again, standing on the beach. My heart was pumping so fast it was hard to think, my mind struggling to process what I'd just seen. The soul—Erina—let go of my hand.

Rather than the simple outline of the person she had been, I could now see her clearly through her brilliant aura. She wore the same turtleneck and plaid skirt from the vision. This time, however, she smiled at me, relief brightening her features.

"Erina Donner, I see you," said a voice from behind me.

The soul's gaze lifted away from me to look over my shoulder just before I turned to see who'd spoken.

Atargatis—Tisa—was walking out of the surf. I was struck anew at how absolutely beautiful she was. Water droplets glinted and shimmered on her copper skin like the stars above us. Her hair was half braided back, the rest left loose to cling to her skin. Gold jewelry contrasted against her skin, and the bangles around her wrists and ankles made a sweet tinkling noise. She smiled at me with her lovely, full lips, and I returned that smile automatically.

When she continued to speak, my attention returned to Erina, speaking these foreign words in tandem with my Goddess: "I see you and witness you as your spirit passes from one plane to the next. You will be one with the sea once more, and you shall find your rest. Let's take your final steps in this life together."

A wash of elation and gratitude came over me as Erina put her hand in mine again. My hand tingled where she touched me, and a whisper in my mind said, Thank you .

She kept hold of my hand as she split in two: the bright turquoise of her soul stepped back, leaving only the golden sliver of divinity from Tisa that made her a siren. I expected it to return to whom it truly belonged, the Goddess at my side. Instead, it drifted lazily toward me, giving me a chance to really look at it. Power pulsed from it, arcs like solar flares whipping outward from the center. It almost looked benign, that blip of color.

Until it sank into my chest.

The second it hit me, the breath was knocked from my lungs, and I fell back onto the sand. My vision went white. My ribs felt as if they were being cracked and splayed open, my lungs unable to expand, my heart unable to beat. My body convulsed, and a great ripping sound filled my ears. There was nothing I could do as pure Godly energy invaded every cell of my body, igniting me from within, sparking in my veins and electrifying me until I thought I would combust.

I wasn't sure how long that agony lasted. I couldn't even pray for it to end, not with the pain of it consuming me from the inside out. But slowly, my lungs could take in a little bit of air. The nerves in my body stopped screaming. Finally, blessedly, my sight returned to me, though my pulse still pounded in my ears, my skin tingling all over.

When I collected myself and my awareness of the world around me came back, a reaper—one of the Gods of Death's helpers, who ushered the dead to their final destination—had joined us. He was a young man who looked to be no more than twenty, bearing a sickle and endlessly sad eyes. My heart hurt for him, though I wasn't sure why.

He, along with Erina and Tisa, stared down at me with equal measures concern and shock. I pushed myself to sit up, and after a solid minute of the world spinning, I was able to get to my feet with the help of Tisa, who let me lean on her as I reoriented. Once I determined I wasn't going to pass out or throw up on anyone's shoes, the reaper turned to Erina.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her gently. She nodded and took his hand when he offered it.

Tisa, the remaining twelve souls, and I watched as they walked away, through a stone archway on the far right of the beach that I'd never noticed prior to this moment, before disappearing from this plane altogether. The other spirits looked back at me expectantly, but Tisa spoke, her voice as gentle as lapping waves against the beach.

"I'm sorry to say that she cannot do another today. But she will come back as soon as she can. You have our word on that."

Their disappointment was palpable, but one by one, they flickered out of the liminal space. Once they'd left, Tisa turned to me. There was a hesitancy about her, no smile softening her face.

"You've done something quite impossible," she said at last. "No one has ever been able to remove the Call on their own."

"I failed to kill Joseph," was all I could say. Bitterness and anger laced my words.

"I saw," she replied curtly. "Normally, I would punish you for going against the natural order of things, but I'm choosing to trust that you will find a way to end Joseph's life and follow through with your end of the bargain."

"I swear to you, I will. He's taken almost everything from me. I can't..." My words faltered, my eyes welling up with tears. "I can't live in a world where he continues to breathe."

"I know, sweetheart." She reached up to cup my cheek and wiped away a tear with her thumb. "You've been through so much, yet you still choose to be kind and to keep your promise to the souls. That means more to us—to me—than you know."

Her words bolstered me, and I allowed that ball of worry to ease in my stomach a little. "I'm trying my best not to disappoint you or the souls."

"I know, and I'm grateful to you for that." Tisa smiled, and it brightened my whole world.

I shifted in place, wincing as my muscles screamed in pain and inhaling sharply through my teeth. "Jesus," I groaned. "Why do I hurt so much?"

"Because you are being remade again," Tisa said simply, as if I should know what she meant by that. "The more of my divinity you take into yourself, the less mortal you will become. Should you take all eleven shards of my divinity, you will be quite nearly a demigoddess."

I shook my head to clear the confusion. "A demigoddess?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure what would happen, if I must be honest, until I saw it just now, but when you take in a little more of the essence of my divinity, not only does it tear your soul apart to make space for it, but it also changes you, taking a little more of your mortality with it." She tilted her head to stare at where my soul was seated, as if she could see it within my chest. Maybe she could. "You will not be fully immortal, not with what was stored in the talisman, but it will extend your life quite a bit."

I pursed my lips thoughtfully. "Why did it hurt so much this time and not as much when you initially changed me?"

"You weren't alive when I changed you. Your soul was completely detached from your body, so it was a little more malleable. Had you been alive, I assume it would have hurt just as much. I'd caution you not to send too many at once. I don't know how well your body and soul would handle it if you did every one of them all at once. It could irreparably harm you."

"Of course." It's not like I was eager to repeat that process anytime soon. I shuddered at the thought.

Tisa tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear before dropping her hand to take mine. "Come. Let's go somewhere more comfortable to talk."

All I could do was nod as she gently tugged me to follow her. Her hand was so warm in mine, such a contrast to what I'd felt from other merfolk. Then again, Rose, you are a siren now. It makes sense that your body temperature changed when your body did.

With a wave of her hand, my liminal space changed. The sky went from the dead of night to bright day, sunlight streaming in through arched windows. She'd brought us to a place that looked like a palace bedroom with fancy furnishing and lush pillows and bedding that was a mix of many different eras and cultures, which made sense. If this was her bedroom, she'd have collected things from across time and kept everything she'd liked. There were so many bright colors, so many details that I wanted to stop and take in, but instead, she guided me over to a sitting area.

At her behest, I sank down into the softest cushion I'd ever had the pleasure of sitting on, and as she sat across from me, a tray of fruits, vegetables, cheeses, and some drinks appeared on the small table between us.

"How've you been, Rose? Are you adjusting well?" she asked, grabbing a grape and popping it into her mouth.

An involuntary laugh slipped from me at her tone, which had her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "Sorry. You sound a little like my therapist."

Her bewilderment faded into amusement. "Ah, that charming kelpie friend of yours. Of course. I suppose we could have this conversation like one might in a therapist's office." She conjured a pair of glasses on her face and adjusted them. "So, how does that make you feel?"

Our laughter filled the room, and all my pent-up tension melted away. I grabbed a piece of cheese and a cracker for myself. "I wish I could say it was going well, but there's a lot of loose ends. Everything's a mess."

"But your boys are back," she replied, delight in her voice.

"They aren't my boys," I grumbled, my cheeks heating, and stuffed my cheese and cracker into my mouth to avoid having to say anything more. But Tisa was patient. When I swallowed, I was forced to add, "Well, one of them isn't."

She arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

The way she said it made it seem like there were things that I didn't know, but it wasn't something I had the emotional bandwidth to take on at the moment. Not when I still felt raw from seeing Milo and Will after so long and learning about how Molly killed her own freaking sister like the monster she was.

"Milo told me he was my mate," I admitted. The very thought still had me reeling. "I don't know what Will is. I just know his absence makes me sad."

"I figured Milo was your mate when you showed up in the liminal space with the mate mark on your shoulder," she replied before taking a sip of her tea. "It's why I let you keep it when I took away all others."

I lowered my gaze to my hands. "Thank you. I'm… I'm more grateful than I can tell you that you took away the other scars. I don't want Milo or the others to know how I passed."

"You don't have to tell them if you don't want to. In fact, most sirens ask that they not remember their Call or how they died in the first place. I could do the same for you, if you'd like," she offered.

I shook my head. "As grateful as I am for the offer, I don't want to have my mind messed with any more than it already has been."

She raised her hands in a placating gesture. "That's fair. I just wanted to let you know it's an option."

"Thank you." I wasn't sure what else I could say.

"This has been hard for you. I'm sorry for that. This is supposed to be a new lease on life, and you keep getting the shit end of the stick."

I had to snicker at her word choice. "That seems to be my lot in life."

"Well, let's see how we can make this easier for you, hmm? Why don't we start with the souls and work our way from there?"

"I'd appreciate that very much, thank you."

I leaned forward to grab one of the glasses to sip on and settled in a little better against the wall as she started to speak. "What you're doing with the souls is an ancient funeral rite merfolk have done since they were created. It's believed that the only way a soul can move on to the afterlife is to witness them depart from this life to the next."

"Why?" I asked before lifting my cup to my lips and taking a drink. The liquid was unlike anything I'd tasted before, all at once sweet but with a hint of spice as well. I nearly moaned at how delicious it was.

"Well, it's an echo of what's supposed to happen when a new siren is made. It's meant to be a celebration, bringing new life into the world. Merfolk close by are called to help the new siren with their change and to help them find and kill their Mark. After that, they teach them how to use their magic and the rules of the world, just like family or a parent might."

Her words made me still. When I'd been changed, I was all alone. No one had come to aid or rescue me. A part of me wanted to be salty that not even Will had come to bring me into the world, but between the hunters and his father, I couldn't really blame him. For the other merfolk in the Golden Isles, however…

"I didn't have that," I said quietly.

"I know. And it makes me profoundly sad that you did not. All of this would've been over before it started if our people had not ignored your change, and your beloved Nora would be safe. What has happened is a travesty."

"It is, and I don't know how I'll be able to bear the weight of this."

"All ends are new beginnings. When all this is said and done, you can rebuild from the ashes. It won't be the same as before—you can never get back what was lost, but you can honor its memory while still moving forward." She huffed a laugh. "Now I sound like a philosopher. But the message remains true. None of this is your fault. You're simply a victim of the greater domino effect started by Joseph."

"Which is why he's my Mark."

"Indeed. If it were possible, I'd have intervened to aid you myself, but the accords that are in place between myself and the two Gods of Death, Samael and the Princeling, prevent me from doing so. Even this might be skirting the edges of what constitutes intervention."

"Oh. I don't want you to get in trouble on my behalf." I don't need that on my conscience, too.

She laughed, a wonderful sound that warmed me from the inside. "Oh, there's no need to worry about that. Neither of them can truly do anything to harm me that they haven't already done. I'll simply tell them I was answering your prayers. Besides, I think they'll be placated knowing you are returning other souls to them as well."

"That's honestly a relief."

We lapsed into silence for a moment while we both nibbled on the snacks she provided. I had a lot to think about, most of it concerned with how much I fucking loathed Joseph. I had to shake my head to clear those thoughts. There were so many other things that needed to be addressed.

"If you don't mind me asking," I started, breaking the silence, "what was that thing with the spark going into my chest? I understand it's remaking me, but why is it coming to me in the first place?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask about that." A radiant smile teased the corners of her lips as she set down her glass. "You still have the power of the talisman. It was not merely a container for the siren souls. Which means the souls of the dead will be drawn to you, but you will not automatically receive their power. The talisman takes in the soul and the divine spark. After sending the soul to their afterlife, the spark and all the power it contains will be yours."

I processed this for a moment. "So, I'm going to get more powerful with every soul I send?"

She nodded.

"And you don't, like, want them back? They are part of you, after all."

"I've debated about this very thing for months, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't think I want the power, no. I've been desiring a companion, but beyond my own selfish reasoning, you're going to need all the power you can get to defeat Joseph as he is now."

Once again, my mind was reeling. "I don't know whether to cry or laugh," I admitted.

"Well, I should hope you don't cry, but I will definitely allow for laughter." Her face lit up with a radiant smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Fret not, dear Rose. You have a bright future ahead of you, and I'm rooting for you, even if I cannot help you directly. If you have any questions about mer culture or our history, you know where to find me. I'll always come when you call. For now, though, you must rest. I don't want you to overextend yourself."

Tisa stood up, and I followed suit. Then she closed the space between us, and her presence so close to me made my breath catch. Looking up at her, I was overwhelmed by her once again.

"Of course," I murmured. "Thank you, for everything."

Leaning down, she kissed me on the cheek gently. "Anytime, dear one. Anytime."