Chapter 10

Rose

A fter only five rounds of goodbyes—rather than the customary twenty—Milo and I left his parents' house. It was well past dusk, and the wet, earthy scent of petrichor filled my nose, mixing with the salt of the ocean nearby in the chilly breeze off the water. Clouds blotted out the stars and moon, an ever-present and overbearing threat of rain.

Once we were alone on the porch, Milo turned to me. "I know this may not be the right time, but there's something I'd like to show you, if you're feeling up to it."

I tried to keep a straight face as I replied, "But darling, you've already shown me your dick on multiple occasions. I daresay the two of us are quite well-acquainted at this point."

I could no longer hide my smile as Milo threw his head back and barked out a laugh. Still chuckling, he scooped me into his arms, twirled me around, and kissed me soundly on the lips before setting me on my feet again.

His smile as he gazed down at me had my heart fluttering. "The Gods blessed me with the most perfect mate. I'm so fucking lucky."

My hands snaked under his shirt to touch bare skin, to feel him with no barriers between us. "I assume we're not talking about your dick, then," I teased.

"That is yours to see and feel and touch and taste whenever you'd like, my love." He kissed me again, this time pulling my bottom lip between his teeth for a gentle nip that had heat settling between my legs. "This is something very important, and it has to do with selkie mating."

"Oh, serious business, then."

"Very." He nodded solemnly. "Are you up for it? If you're not, we can wait…"

"I'm down for anything," I replied, grazing my nails against his back.

"Thank you," he whispered, then gave me one last kiss before stepping away and lacing our fingers together.

Milo tugged my hand, and I followed him without a word, comforted by the heat of his body. We didn't walk to his house like I thought we would but rather the beach. He led me across the sand until my feet were in the surf—making sure I had time in the water even as he had something in store for me. He adjusted my position so that my back was to the open ocean, then took a step away from me.

It was dark, the clouds obscuring the stars and moon from view, and though I could see him quite well with my enhanced, supernatural vision, I still struggled to understand what he was doing. Milo rubbed his hands together, and the air around me charged, goosebumps prickling along my skin. Then, with practiced ease, he raised his hands. Spots of light blinked into existence just above our heads. They were dim at first, but they grew brighter and brighter until it was like a twinkling blanket of white and yellow stars lit up the beach. I reached up to touch the one closest to me, expecting it to be hot, but I found it was actually… fuzzy?

"They're called star sprites. I'm borrowing them from the Void realm," he said. "Don't worry. They're docile. They'll simply make it so you can see what I have to show you."

"Okay," I said, excited and nervous at the same time.

Milo took a deep breath. "I know I haven't handled all of this mating stuff well, and I know that I've made decisions for you that should have been a discussion first. A selkie, first and foremost, desires and needs to take care of their mate. In my infinite wisdom, in my quest to keep your anxiety about all this at bay, I came up with the stupid idea to just… hit the mating milestones with you so that when it came time, you wouldn't be nervous and wouldn't have to think about it when I asked you, like a human, to marry me and be my mate. There wouldn't be any hurdles or worries in the way.

"Looking back, considering how everything went down and how I've hidden things from you for so long, I want to be upfront and open with you. Like I mentioned earlier, I value and desire open and honest communication, and really, I should've told you from the beginning that you were my mate." He took a deep breath, determination settling over his features. "So, that's what I'm going to do right now. I'm going to start everything all over again so you can have the full experience. So you can decide, with full knowledge, if you want to be mine."

"And what exactly does that entail?" I asked.

"I mean, you've already met the clan and been accepted, but I would like to have my parents and Violet's formal blessing for our mating." Milo's cheeks tinged pink. "I know it's old-fashioned, but it's something I've dreamed about since I was a boy."

Oh, my fluttering heart!

"I don't mind that," I replied. "I think it's really sweet."

He beamed, his eyes warm and shining with love. "Thank you."

Everything in me urged me to embrace him, but I held myself back. Gods, it was hard, though. He just looked so fucking cute with his blushing cheeks!

"What else is on your list for selkie mating?" I asked, returning his smile with a gentle one of my own, trying my best to show him I was open to him and to this courtship. Whether or not I was successful, I had no idea.

"Well, there's the naked swim in the ocean—"

"Does it necessarily lead to sex, oooooor…" I drew out the last word until he snorted.

"Usually, that is reserved for after the mating is completed, but you're just so irresistible that I couldn't wait."

I smirked. "Rebel."

He returned my grin with one of his own before waving his hand as if to swat away my mischievousness. "Anyway, there's also the gift giving and biting. I can't exactly claim you a second time without looking like a possessive asshole." I held back a snicker and nodded. He continued despite my expression. "Which leads me to now. I need to go grab something, but I'll be right back, okay?"

I nodded, softening. "Of course."

That wonderful boyish grin spread across his face before he raced off toward his house, leaving me to admire the "stars" he'd conjured.

Absent the comforting, insistent thrum of Milo's heartbeat, I was left only with my own thoughts and the soft crashing of the waves against my ankles. The calm of it, the quiet, echoed down through me, all the way down to the deepest parts of my soul. I followed it down, just to see where it would lead me.

At first, there was nothing. Only the beating of my own heart. But as I sat with the silence, a hum lifted from the stillness. It was quiet, almost indistinguishable from the sound of my body living and breathing, but it rose, slipping up from the dark and flitting on the air like a wisp of smoke. My breath caught as it danced around me.

The Earth sang a symphony, a harmony of sounds against my senses. The currents, the ground, the clouds above me, each had its own melody, its own song that blended seamlessly with those around it. The joyous chorus sang to me, excited to finally be noticed and heard. It twined around my limbs like a lazy cat, and I rejoiced in the peace it brought me. The rightness of it.

One voice swelled above the rest, a soft alto that called me by name. There was a familiarity to it, like I'd known it all my life. An old friend. It spoke with soft affection, beckoning me to acknowledge it. I turned my body toward the source, ready to see who spoke, but when I opened my eyes, I was alone.

Well, not alone.

Milo strode toward me, a look of both adoration and anxiety writ upon his beautiful features. In his hands was a gorgeous, warm brown pelt, held lovingly. Nervous energy sparked in the air, the music of the night changing its tune to a melody of eager anticipation.

"Will you hold this for me for a moment?" he asked, his voice soft.

"Of course."

I held out my arms, and he transferred it to me, but before he pulled away, he looked me in the eyes. "This is my most precious possession. Without it, I cannot go into the sea as I was meant to, and if it's lost or destroyed, I will know sorrow without measure. I'm trusting you with this knowledge, with the very heart of me, because you are my mate."

"I swear I won't do anything to compromise it or you," I vowed.

It was hard to breathe, my heart skittering against my ribs as the gravity of what he was telling me sank in. With his heart in his eyes, Milo's hands sought mine, and he squeezed them before taking a step back and stripping off his clothes. I pulled his pelt closer to my chest, relishing the softness against my skin and the prickle of magic within it, but I kept my eyes on him.

"I was planning on doing this tonight anyway. I promised I would be completely upfront with you from now on. So, please don't think that I'm doing this just because my family was giving me looks all through dinner." There was a sigh in his voice, a hint of exasperation with his family's ridiculousness.

"I didn't think that at all, but you're right that it would be something I'd worry about," I admitted with a shrug.

"Which is why I wanted to tell you preemptively that this was my plan all along. I understand how anxious you can get." He smiled, then let out a breath. "I want to show you my other half in his truest form. It's an important part of the mating ritual to prove to each other that you can accept and learn not to fear the ‘otherness' of the animal living inside the selkie. My beast is large, and he may be scary to you at first, but I promise he won't hurt you. Not now, not ever."

I nodded, stroking his pelt. It felt so right to be holding it, touching it. A not-so-small part of me yearned to bury my face in it, but I had eyes only for Milo. The same man who looked damn pleased at how I petted the fur beneath my fingers.

"It's so soft," I whispered, my cheeks heating.

"You're meant to like how it feels, and I love that you like it." He stepped close to me again, the heat of his naked body warming my skin, and I transferred the pelt back into his arms. He kissed me, a brief but heated thing, before retreating again. "Remember, he won't hurt you. More bark than bite."

I grinned, excitement bubbling within me. "If he gets out of hand, I will bop him on the snoot. Got it."

Milo cackled. "That should put him in his place, yeah. He's more obsessed with you than I am, but I suppose that's more to do with the fact that I have human thoughts, and he's just a seal." His face softened. "Are you ready?"

Bless, he was so nervous. I saw it in the way he shifted from one foot to the other, in how his hands shook. Even his eyes darted between mine, searching for any hint of discomfort.

I gave him a gentle smile. "Of course."

He took another deep breath and nodded, as if to reassure himself. Shaking his pelt out, he draped it around his shoulders like a cloak and crouched down. At first, nothing happened, but I couldn't take my eyes off him regardless. Then, after a moment, a spark of magic flared, brushing against my skin. The pelt knitted together until it was whole right before my eyes. Milo disappeared within it. For several seconds, the creature before me didn't look quite right, but its shape began to fill out until a huge Steller sea lion stood where my mate was.

The specimen before me was no shorter than nine and a half feet long. Not the largest of his species, but certainly not the smallest, either. His surprisingly puppy-like face bore the cinnamon eyes I knew to be Beastie's, and as we took each other in, he sniffed but otherwise stayed still. He really was a "grizzly of the sea."

"You're a very big boy," I whispered, and he chuffed in response, almost preening with pride. "May I… may I come closer?"

Beastie bobbed his head in an exaggerated manner, and with a deep breath of my own, I closed the distance between us. He stayed unnaturally still, his eyes never leaving me as I approached. I had to remind myself with each step that Milo promised he wouldn't hurt me. My rational brain knew this wasn't a wild animal, but everything in me warned of danger. With that in mind, I stopped an arm's length away from him and extended my hand to give him the choice as to whether he wanted to be touched or not.

I stopped breathing, waiting for him to make the first move. Cautiously, as if he, too, was wary of me, he stretched out his neck to sniff at my hand, and when he was satisfied, a deep purring emanated from within him. He bopped his head against my hand, and I chuckled.

"I did promise you head pets, didn't I?" I asked with a smile, giving him what he wanted. I smoothed my hand over the fur on his head and neck and, as I became more comfortable, crouched down so I was face to face with the large sea pupper in front of me. Beastie chuffed, and that was all the warning I got before he knocked me on my ass and threw his upper body into my lap.

Once I shifted to make myself more comfortable, I looked down at him and found that he was smiling up at me with a mouthful of sharp, pointed teeth, which had me giggling a little at how silly he looked. "You really are an overgrown ocean dog, aren't you?"

Beastie purred louder at me, craning his neck to briefly boop his nose against mine before returning his head to my lap. For a long time, we sat there in quiet companionship as I gave him all the pets he wanted. It felt right.

As I pressed my lips to Beastie's head, our earlier conversation floated in my mind. He desired open communication, and despite having told him I wanted that as well, it occurred to me that I wasn't the best at communicating… well, anything. Selkies were open with their affection and their intent. They didn't hold back when it came to their emotions. Being Otherkind now, I understood why. Everything was so much more . Everything felt immediate and overpowering.

Had it hurt Milo to hold back, to accommodate my proclivity for bottling things up? Did it hurt that I was, outwardly, a brick wall when it came to expressing myself? Did it make him feel insecure, and if so, how could I fix it?

I can be more open , was the first thought that came to mind. I can open myself up to him and be vulnerable with him. That would be a great start.

But could I do it?

There was only one way to find out.

Opening my mouth, I gathered what little strength I had to face him before I chickened out. "I have something I want to say, if you're open to hearing me out."

Beastie snuffled, his breath fanning across my belly.

"You've told me multiple times now that you want to be open and communicate more. So, I want to be honest with you, too, if it's okay."

Beastie let out a short bark that I took as an assent. Fuck, this shouldn't be so hard. You love him. Just open your mouth and say what's in your heart. Breathing past my thundering heart and the pervasive feeling that my emotions were unwanted, I steadied myself.

"I know that, perhaps, it's hard for you to know how I truly feel. I know I don't tend to show what's in my heart easily, and for that, I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel insecure in your relationship with me." I paused, trying to find what to say next, what felt right to express. "I was raised to keep my emotions to myself, and I was punished for expressing anything other than calm and serene blandness. I was only just starting to learn how to show my feelings and identify my emotions when I started my change. Now, everything's all jumbled up, and it's hard to identify one emotion when everything feels so big and overwhelming."

I sighed. "But I want you to know you can trust my actions, and you can trust this: you have brought me some of the happiest moments in my life. Being with you... it's as easy as breathing. Even before all the mate stuff, I felt a connection with you that I hadn't ever felt before. I just didn't know what it was."

I went quiet, my hand stilling against his neck. The rest of what I wanted to say lodged itself in the back of my throat and refused to come out. I'd never cursed my upbringing more than in these moments of charged silence.

Magic washed over me, and the seal in my lap changed into a man whose arms were wrapping around me and squeezing me tight. I looked down and met Milo's gaze, threading my fingers through his hair and pushing that stubborn lock out of his eyes.

"Rose, I've never had doubts about you. Not once." Lifting himself up so we were eye to eye, he continued, "I know who you are. I know that you're not someone who wears your emotions on your sleeve. That's okay with me. But through your actions, you've shown me time and time again that your feelings for me are just as strong as mine are for you, even if you're unsure about them. You are my mate, Rose. That's never going to change. From here until the end of our lives, I am yours, if you'll have me."

"I do want you." The words came out as a wavering whisper. I was afraid that, if I voiced them, the opposite would come true. That this would be taken from me, too.

"Then you have me."

He kissed me. It was sweet and soft and full of every emotion pent up within him, and I returned it just the same. When he pulled away, he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"There's one last thing I want to show you, and then you'll know everything there is to know about selkie mating stuff. Are you up for it?" he asked, tucking my hair behind my ear. I nodded, trying to keep my mind on the moment and not my desire to kiss him again. He smiled and wrapped his pelt around my shoulders. "Let me take you back home, then."

Milo helped me to my feet, readjusted his pelt around me, and bent to grab his clothes. I couldn't help but run my cheek along the soft fur of his pelt, taking in his warm, cinnamon-and-ocean scent while I waited.

When I caught his eye again, he was giving me the goofiest smile. "You have no idea how happy I am that you like Beastie in his natural form." Dressed once more, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned down to whisper, "And you look so good in my pelt. I can't wait to see you in it without all these clothes on."

I snorted. "Always thinking with your smaller head, you are."

"It's not even that. Though I wouldn't mind making love to you on it. That way, you'd be completely, undeniably my woman." Milo kissed my temple, sent the star sprites back to their realm, and started toward his house.

"I'm not already?"

"Oh, you very much are. I'm just giving you the illusion of choice."

We walked in silence the rest of the way back to the house, where he guided me to his basement. After flipping on the light switch, he gestured for me to walk down first, and I peered into the space curiously. The land-and-sea color scheme was present here, too, but in lighter shades to offset the lack of windows. I was surprised to see that it was basically a fully furnished apartment all on its own that mirrored the layout of the main floor of the house.

When Milo saw the confusion on my face, he said, "I have vampire friends who occasionally come stay with me, so I made them a light-tight space to stay in. But the room I want to show you is down that way."

Vampires?

"Will they be coming to stay anytime soon?" I asked, fascinated. Gods, the world was so much bigger than I thought.

"I'll be going to see them at the end of December. There's a big gathering on New Year's Day, and I, being the bigwig that I am, must attend."

"A bigwig, huh?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Your mate is very important in their world." He grinned. "I'll have to explain everything to you later. Then you'll be really impressed with me."

Taking my hand, Milo guided me down the hallway, past bedrooms and a game room, to what I assumed was the main bedroom. When we entered, I found it wasn't laid out like the bedroom above but was instead an office about half the size I expected it to be. Bookshelves lined all four walls, filled with hundreds of books, and there was a desk in the center of the room. To my left sat a bathroom like the upstairs, but to my right, between towering shelves, was a door.

Milo approached the door and, with a wave of his hand, glyphs in shades of blues and purples rippled outward, lighting up not only the door but all the walls as well. The symbols hovered mere inches from the entrance to whatever lay beyond. They bounced and moved, never staying still.

The magic on that door, in the whole room, raised goosebumps on my skin. I wasn't sure whether I should leave it alone or be curious and poke it to see what the glyphs did. Curiosity was winning out.

Before I could touch one, however, Milo spoke, pulling me back to reality. "One of the parts of selkie courtship is trusting you with the location of where I keep my pelt, but there's a lot of other things I'm trusting you with when I show you this room."

The weight of his gaze, the gravity of his words, settled on my shoulders heavily. "I won't betray your trust. I swear it."

"I know you won't, love." He smiled. "Give me your right hand." Switching the hand that was holding his pelt around my shoulders, I stuck out the one he asked for. "This won't hurt, but it might smart a little."

Though he warned me, I still jumped when he put my hand directly into one of the symbols. Power arced directly into my flesh. Pricks of energy traced every groove and wrinkle, magic heating my skin to nearly uncomfortable levels. But it was over almost as soon as it started, thankfully. He and the power released my me, and I wiped my palm on my dress as if to wipe away the feeling left behind.

"Sorry about that," said Milo. "Now you can get into this room just as easily as I can. All you need to do is open the door. Try it."

He pointed at the door, and I reached for the doorknob. The moment I touched it, the silence was filled with the clink of a series of metal mechanisms shifting and unlocking, ending with the lock on the door. When I opened the door, to my surprise, a light was already on inside, showing in full the contents of the room.

It was Milo's treasure trove. There were so many things to look at that it was hard to focus on just one. Weapons of all varieties decorated the wall on the right side of the room, and the other walls had shelves full of various objects. I hesitated over the threshold, glancing back at Milo for permission, and when he smiled and gestured at me to enter, I did, eager to get a closer look. There were shelves of books and jewelry, an assortment of woodcarvings, a game set I couldn't identify. There were filing cabinets and wine racks. It would take me ages to look through everything in the room, but boy, did I want to.

Directly across from the entrance was another door, and Milo ushered me toward it, repeating the process with my hand and the charms. When I opened this door, I found there was only one thing in this room. A gladiator's helmet sat alone on a dustless shelf, and when I looked at Milo, sadness crossed his face.

"This was my vampire friend's, from when he was mortal. His family, the ones who usually stay here, gave it to me after he passed," he said, his tone solemn. There was an ache there that was likely as fresh as the day his friend had perished, a bruise that would never heal. It was one I knew all too well. "His name was Nero."

"As in the emperor?"

"He was the bastard son of Emperor Nero and was named after his father. He was a gladiator before he was turned."

"When did he pass?"

"It was about a hundred years ago now."

The way he looked at that helmet made my heart twist in my chest. "I'm sorry, Milo."

"He was my best friend." He looked away from the helmet to gaze into my eyes. "You would have loved him."

I smiled. "I'm sure I would have."

"Well, you might have also been really tired of our shenanigans. We got into a lot of shit back in the day. Most of my riches come from our adventures." When I quirked an eyebrow at him, he shrugged. "After three hundred years of life, I've accumulated a lot of wealth. What I have here is just my most sentimental things. You'll never want for anything ever again, I promise." With that, he slipped his pelt off my shoulders and folded it up, placing it beside the helmet on the shelf. "This is where I keep my pelt for safe keeping. Only you and I have access to it."

"Why do you want me to have access to it? Wouldn't it be safer if only you did?" I asked, anxiety spiking within me.

"I want you to have access to it for two reasons: one, as my mate, you should have access to all that I have, and two…" He paused, and I could hear his heart rate speeding up. "The last part of courtship is you giving me my pelt back. You need to be able to access it to do so."

"So, I just hand you your pelt?"

"Yes. It symbolizes that you accept me as your mate, and it signals that you trust me to always come back to you, even if I go out to sea." I looked at his pelt, then reached out to brush my fingers through the fur as he spoke. "But I don't want you to do it now. I want you to do it when you're really, truly ready."

With my free hand, I laced my fingers through his and squeezed. "I won't let you down, I promise."

"You could never let me down, Rose." He kissed me, gently at first, but growing in heat as I responded to him. When he pulled away, I was pleased to hear his heart racing. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to formally invite you to have a bath and a cuddle with me."

"I've been dying to use your bathtub since the moment I laid eyes on it."

"Good! I bought some nice bath oil I think you'll like."

Without warning, he scooped me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I sighed, resigning myself to my fate. "You know, you could just let me walk."

"Nope. I must assert my dominance by being a caveman."

"Alright, you weirdo."

" Your weirdo," he amended, patting me on the ass.

Gods, I love this man , I thought as he carried me out of the basement and to the bathroom.