Chapter 9

Dawson

I'd never been sorelieved to be cut off by an elevator in my life.

I just couldn't seem to help myself around Nolan. I liked pushing his buttons, throwing him off guard and causing a little chaos to his daily routine, I could admit that at least.

But there was a moment, in that elevator where I'd forgotten who we were, where we were.

As I leaned against the wall, staring down at those pouty, perfect lips, I thought fuck, this is it. This is my sexual harassment suit in the making.

I sighed as the doors opened on my floor, thanking the heavens above for the brief moment of reality.

My body was flushed, still hot, and I was certain it wasn't entirely from the run.

Once in my apartment, I could relax. Or at least, that's what I intended on doing. Shower, clean up a bit, maybe get some take out before I headed back to the firehouse. I stared at my phone on the counter, feeling a little antsy.

It'd been a weird fucking day, and a part of me wanted to call my best friend and dish about all the grade A tea. About that hot-as-hell phone call, Nolan showing up at my brother's... that hot-as-hell race, and me nearly losing all my fucking marbles in that damn elevator.

But a part of me also knew that Cade was in that new relationship haze.

Which meant for him nothing would matter except the man he was all twitterpated for at the moment; a man who was actually good for him. I wanted things to really work out for them.

I wasn't lying when I said what I did at M's Place the other night. I wanted to see my ex turned bestie settle down and have the life he always wanted. I sighed, shaking my head.

What about what I wanted?

Did I want some white picket fence, brunch on Sundays sort of life that everyone around here seemed accustomed to?

I swear, sometimes it's like the Stepford Wives up in here.

I'd always known what I didn't want. But knowing what I did want... I wasn't so sure what that was.

There was a sort of rhythm to being a bachelor. To living life the way I had, without attachments. I'd had boyfriends, sure, but I hadn't been on a date somewhere like Sedona in a while. I knew immediately I'd wanted to take Nolan there, not only because I knew it would shock him—I doubted the pencil pusher had been anywhere like the five-star restaurant in the city that's famous for its cocktails and it's flaming tower dessert—but because for some reason I couldn't explain... I wanted to impress him.

I wanted the chance to show this pain in the ass that I wasn't just some dumb, charismatic asshole who lived to make his life hell.

Even though I do enjoy raining hell down on him.

Why do I care what Nolan Harding thinks of me?

I slid out of my shorts, groaning in defeat as I headed for the bathroom, the cool air of my apartment kissing my skin.

I knew the answer, even if I didn't want to admit it.

Because maybe this was fate giving us a second chance.

A do-over.

Not that he remembers anyway, that's clear.

I turned the water on in the shower as I let my thoughts wander to two years ago, the day I met Nolan.

I'd just gotten out of a relationship with my ex, Vance, who worked for the same company Nolan did, Breisinger Insurance.

It had been a rocky relationship from the start, and I knew he wasn't going to stick around—after all, he was planning to move if he got his dream job at some accounting firm he'd been hard on since college. Breisinger Insurance was just a pit stop for him. Something to pay the bills until he could squirrel his pennies and get the fuck out of Jasper Springs. I knew that, and it wasn't like I was after anything serious either. Or at least, that was what I told myself.

But somewhere in my feeble, stupid, romantic brain I thought maybe, just maybe I'd be enough.

I wanted to be enough.

But I wasn't.

He broke it off with me and no sooner was he packed, blowing dust in my direction. I wasn't in love with the guy or anything, but it still stung. I'd become used to having another person in my bed, in my space, and suddenly... it was cold.

Lonely.

Breisinger didn't wait until the ink even dried on Vance's two weeks notice before they brought in Nolan.

A dark-haired young buck who looked like some cross between Hot Harry Potter from a B-produced porno and your little sister's math tutor.

Vance left, and there wasn't even a mourning period. He'd been replaced, and it made me feel like I'd been replaced too.

I wanted to hate Nolan Harding. And I did, for a while. I hated his doe-eyed face, his nitpicking, his refusal to talk or gossip with anyone, especially me.

His little snide comments he thought I didn't hear in passing when we'd see each other on the job.

But I was starting to realize that perhaps there was more to Nolan than I'd thought, and maybe I didn't actually hate the guy.

Maybe I was actually starting to... like him.

I jumped in the shower immediately upon that thought, needing the cold water to wash away my thoughts and feelings.

One thing at a time.