Chapter 28

Dawson

"Ground control to Richards!"Gina's harsh voice snapped me out of my daze. The smell of sizzling bacon invaded my airways, reminding me it was probably time to flip it.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Corolla," I nipped as I used the tongs to turn the bacon slices, noting that they were fairly charred at the edges.

"What is the matter with you today? I mean, don't get me wrong, you're not exactly the brightest crayon in the box on most days, but it's like you're barely tapped into Earth today."

I sighed as I flipped the burgers on the burner next to the bacon. I'd never been the greatest cook in my own life, but at the firehouse things were different. We all took turns doing things, but somehow I'd gotten conned into being the house chef, but I didn't mind most of the time. In most ways, the firehouse was my home.

More home than my lonely apartment, anyway. Not to mention the firehouse was usually packed with my fellow firefighters on duty or coming off of it, so it was like I was always around family, which I loved. My brother was usually working, and when he wasn't, he'd make the hour and a half trek to see his girlfriend for an extended break. Since the fire though, he'd been even more scarce, hanging around if only to deal with the disaster at hand, and the minute he had an opening, he was off to spend time with the next Mrs. Bradish.

I wish I could have blamed my distraction on my brother's situation, but the truth of the matter was I couldn't stop thinking about Nolan.

About what had happened between us.

I'd been one hundred percent clear when I told him I liked him. Hell, I kissed him after that, to be one hundred percent clear... and then something crazy happened. He kissed me back and told me he liked me too, and that changed everything. The spark caught, and then ravaged us both in its flames, taking us under. And it felt good.

It felt more than good, actually. Being with Nolan, holding him, kissing him, tasting him... it all felt so damn right. Like that's the way it was supposed to be. And that scared me a little bit, because I'd never fallen for anyone in my life so fast before.

Sure I'd fucked on the first date before, but I'd never found myself daydreaming about being railed by any one of those guys, I can assure you.

"I'm just... tired, that's all," I lied.

Gina rolled her eyes. "I smell bullshit," she said as she opened the bag of buns, setting up the plates. The laughter from our fellow crewmembers carried from the living room, and I sighed. I didn't want to get into it all with Gina, not because I didn't trust her, but because I wasn't sure how to explain that I was falling in love with our regular claims adjuster—who I'd been more than upfront that I despised for two years.

I turned the burners off, strolling over to help Gina prepare the plates for the moment while things cooled down.

"It's not bullshit, I just—"

"Dawson, we've been working together longer than most of the assholes in this house. I know what you're like when you're tired. You don't smile from ear to ear or get a dumbass look in your eye when you need a nap. In fact, I don't think I've seen you smile like that since you and Cade hooked up."

She had me there.

While Cade and I had gotten off to a good start, and the sex was great, things fizzled out pretty quickly. I loved hanging out with him, and I still do, but hanging out with Cade always felt more like hanging out with my high school bestie than it did with a boyfriend. And Cade pretty much said the same thing, and we mutually agreed that being friends was probably better. But in those first few weeks, I was still riding that high of new dick, and I was pretty happy.

Did that mean that Nolan would fizzle out too?

After the haze of new dick wore off, would he get bored with me and decide we'd be better off as... friends?

God, I hoped not. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I could go back to the way things were before with Nolan, not now that I'd tasted him and let him into my heart and my bed. No, there was no way I could go back to hating Nolan, and there was no way I could just pretend he wasn't the hottest fucking nerd on the planet.

"Yeah, well... people change," I said gruffly as I laid the cheese out on the burgers.

"Whoever he is, as long as he's good to you and not an asshole—" She narrowed her eyes at me, making me feel on the spot.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I spat, even though I did.

My relationships were far and few between, but I had garnered something of a reputation for the string of assholes I'd collected over the years. Assholes who wanted nothing more than to get fucked by Mr. March, or get their firefighter fantasies out of their system.

I wasn't stupid, I knew what I was doing, and I knew those assholes weren't going to last longer than a night or two. But I wasn't looking to settle down and build a white picket fence life like Cade. I was fine with being a one night stand, or a plus one for someone's cousin's twice removed wedding.

The thought of being that now, though... where Nolan was involved, made my stomach flip.

What was happening to me?

Gina placed the pickles on top of the cheese I'd laid out.

"As long as he's good to you, treats you like a person, we're good. Because you know, that's how you should be treated. Not like some sex toy." She said the words quietly, which only added to their magnitude. I did know, and I hated that her words made me feel so vulnerable.

"I know," I said softly.

Gina nudged me in the shoulder. "I know you know. But you have to believe you're worth the good stuff, Dawson. Because you are."

A soft smile tugged at my lips. Gina wasn't the type to get emotional or soft. She always said things as they were, didn't mince words. Her bluntness and boldness were two of the things I loved about her and probably why I considered her my work wife above all others.

Like Cade, Gina just got me.

"I want the good stuff," I said quietly. "I just... don't know how to be the good guy who gets it all, you know?"

Gina and I topped the burgers with ketchup and mustard, and I felt more exposed than I had in my shower this morning with Nolan.

"What are ya waitin' for? Christmas?" Frank yelled from the living room.

Gina rolled her eyes. "We're waiting for you to grow a pair and get up off your ass and actually make yourself useful!" Gina hollered back.

It was my turn to roll my eyes, and I loaded up my arm with plates, server style.

"The natives are restless," I said with a half smile. "Come on, better get them fed before they turn to cannibalism."

Gina huffed, but she didn't argue. Instead, she followed me into the living room for another family lunch.