Chapter 22

Dawson

When I walkedinto M's Place at five-thirty, Cade was already waiting. His bright blue eyes caught mine from across the room, and I didn't miss the smile. He'd had a rough year, before Weston showed up in town to sweep him off his feet like some knight in fine tailored armor, riding his trusty BMW steed, and I had to admit, happiness looked good on him.

I wish I could have that too.

"Hey," he said as he reached out to hug me.

I hugged him back, already feeling a little better. I'd never been an emotional person. In fact, I'd always been pretty clear-headed and level when it came to tough situations, knowing how to rein my feelings in to prevent a bigger issue, but it seemed like lately I was losing my ability to not give a fuck.

My walls were crumbling around me and I knew why. I just didn't want to admit it out loud.

"Hey," I said as we broke apart our hug and took our seats.

"So, tell me about this guy that's got you all—" He whistled, a slow smile spreading across his face.

I sighed.

Well, it's now or never.

"He's not just... some guy. Cade, he's..." I struggled to find my words, but true to his nature, Cade was as patient as a saint with me.

"It's... Nolan."

"Nolan riding your ass again at work? I told you—"

"No, Cade. The guy that's... It's Nolan. We sort of... ran into each other on the trail at the Towers, and I sort of made a bet with him, and he won, and we sort of went on a date, but it wasn't supposed to be a date, and then we kissed, and started making out in my truck, and I lost it, and he ran off, and..."

"Slow down, Dawson. One thing at a time..." Cade said, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

"I just, uh... I think somehow I may have fucked shit up, and I'm not sure what to do."

Cade smiled, shaking his head. "I knew it. You got it bad, huh?" he said slyly.

On instinct, I balked at his comment. After all, I'd prided myself for years on my carefree personality, the guy who just had fun without getting too involved in anything remotely serious.

It was still strange despite how I felt inside, to hear someone else say it out loud.

"I wouldn't go that far, I—"

Cade's shoulders loosened as he sat back in his chair, eyeing me like a teacher eyes the kid in class who screamed when they weren't supposed to.

"Dawson. It's me. You can be honest."

"It's complicated," I say, hating how cliché I sounded.

"It always is," Cade said as the waiter finally came by to take our order.

I opted for a beer and a basket of hot wings, while Cade opted for a spiked seltzer and some fried pickles. He briefly checked his phone, a smile gracing his lips, and I almost rolled my eyes.

"Prince Charming whispering sweet nothings in your ear again?"

Cade set his phone down, smirking. "Actually, he said he's getting out of work early, and asked if he could join us?"

I wanted to be pissed. Really, I did, but seeing the way Cade lit up when he talked about the man made it hard to say no.

"Of course, the more the merrier," I said with a half-smile. It wasn't that I didn't like Weston, or that I felt like I deserved this alone time with Cade and selfishly wanted to keep it that way. I wanted to be supportive, not just for my friend, but also because I felt some sort of intrinsic responsibility for setting them up in the first place, for telling Cade to go after what he wanted—Weston—just like he was sitting here listening to me drone on about a very attractive complication of my own.

Besides, Weston seemed like a decent guy. Not that that meant I was going to tell him all my secrets and have a slumber party with the guy any time soon, but I wasn't about to say no to another drinking buddy and the man who clearly made my best friend happy.

Cade tapped out his response on his phone before looking back at me with his know-it-all stare.

"All I'm saying is, if you like him, you should be honest."

"It's not that easy..." I said, letting out a defeated sigh.

Cade pressed. "Why not? What's so hard about—"

"Well, for starters, we work together."

Cade raised an eyebrow in surprise. "And? When has something like that ever been an issue for you? You dated Vance, and he worked for Breisinger."

Just the mention of my ex, made me stiffen. I'd been a different person then, and I knew even though it shouldn't bother me that Nolan had replaced my ex at his job, it felt like in a way he was angling to replace him in my heart too. But that was stupid, and it wasn't like Nolan knew about my internal grudge.

However, as Cade said the words, I wondered if maybe that's what I wanted.

For Nolan to heal my broken heart.

"It's just..."

"Complicated, I know," Cade snarked.

"Dawson, you've been an upfront guy as long as I have known you. You don't mince words, and you're honest to a fault. Hell, it was one of the things that I was drawn to, when I met you. You're bold and confident, and that's sexy as hell. So, what exactly are you afraid of losing if you come clean with Nolan, because we both know it's not like you're going to lose your job or anything."

Cade was right, but I just didn't want to admit that.

Thankfully, I didn't have to because the waiter came with my basket of wings and Cade's pickles and the rest of the conversation died in favor of our sustenance.

I'd just finished the last hot wing when I noticed a familiar head of dark hair at the bar, thick, black glasses glinting in the light like the north star in the woods.

My pulse heated immediately, my stomach doing flips—although, I couldn't be certain if that was in part to the food I'd just inhaled, or if it was because of the attractive nerd of my damn dreams.

Mr. Complicated.

Suddenly, my agonizing over texts seemed crazy when he was just within my reach. Maybe if we could talk, I could tell him how sorry I was that I upset him. Maybe we could have a do-over.

An actual date where we were both on the same page.

"I'll be right back," I said, not able to resist the pull of Nolan Harding even if my damn life depended on it.

I wandered through the crowd until I came up to him, setting my hand on his oblivious shoulder as he rose from his seat at the bar.

"Hey," I said nervously.

Nolan turned around quickly, his eyes widening in surprise. "Hey..." he said, swallowing harshly, his gaze turning from surprised to hurt.

"I wanted to text you earlier, but I wasn't sure how you were feeling after—"

"Really? Could have fooled me," Nolan growled.

Excuse me?

"I'm not sure..."

"You know, I get it. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but my mother always said I'd be someone's shot of whiskey. Guess I wasn't yours though, was I?" he said as he turned away.

Oh fuck no.

I grabbed him by the shoulder, this time much more harshly.

"What the fuck? Where is this coming from, I thought—"

"You thought what, Dawson? That I was fun to dick around for a night, but not enough to call the next day? Or were you too busy planning your next date with Apollo over there?" he said as he brushed me off, stomping off toward the bathroom.

And like the lovesick fool I was, I ran after him, angered and placated by his sudden bout of jealousy as I realized he must have seen me with Cade and assumed the worst.

"Who? Cade? He's not... I mean we dated once, but it's not like that. Not anymore. He's just a friend, I promise, I—"

"Save your excuses for someone who cares, Dawson," he retorted as he headed for the exit.

But I wouldn't let him get that far. Not until I said what I needed to, to clear the air, but also... because the words were on the tip of my tongue and I knew if I didn't do it then, I'd lose my nerve.

And I'd lose Nolan forever.

I blocked his exit with my body, causing him to crash up against me. He stumbled with a growl.

"Dawson get out of my way, I—"

"No," I said as I challenged his space, backing him up against the wall. "I've had enough of your mouth. It's my turn to talk, champ."

Nolan gazed up at me with fire in his eyes, his lips pursed into a thin line, but he didn't move a muscle.

Because I was a glutton for punishment as much as I was for laying it on thick, and because it was impossible to stand in front of this man who made my entire body heat with passion and anger, I reached my hand out, settling my palm against his neck. I tightened my fingers around the back of his head, his silky hair tickling the back of my knuckles.

There was so much I wanted to say. I knew what I should have said.

But instead, I found myself rising to Nolan's anger, his jealousy, blossoming like an angry lotus.

How dare he insinuate I don't give a shit about him or what happened!

"You are being a fucking brat right now," I said, my voice much darker than I intended.

Nolan opened his mouth to speak, but he never would get the words out.

Because the moment his luscious lips parted, I claimed them with mine, pouring my pent up frustration, my anger, and my wildy catching feelings into that kiss.

I expected him to fight me, to make some snide comment or get cocky, but instead, Nolan fell back against the wall, his hand snaking its way up my neck, pulling me closer.

And into his gravity I fell, like a damn meteorite crashing to earth.

Nolan Harding was the sun at the center of my universe and I had no idea how to process that, especially at that moment.

But damn it, I was going to try.

I pulled away, relishing in his heavy, heated breath, in the feel of his body pressed against mine.

"I loathe your fucking attitude," I snarled.

Nolan's fingers gripped the edges of my hair as I gazed at his delicious lips, swollen from our heated kiss.

And then he said the magic words.

The words that would undoubtedly change both our lives forever.

"Then fucking do something about it, Dawson," he said calmly as he broke free from my grasp, sliding out the door like a thief in the night, leaving me alone in the dark to realize that this situation was more than just complicated.

Because without a doubt, I was falling in love with Nolan.