26. Cove

Chapter 26

Cove

For the first time in my life, I woke in someone else’s bed.

After my experience in Dawnchaser lands as a child, I’d never even considered sleeping in someone else’s bed before. Admittedly, I hadn’t ever invited anyone back to mine, either. I’d simply had my few assignations in places other than bedrooms, or even more occasionally, in hotel rooms where I had not then slept.

Somehow, though, waking up in a room that smelled of Florian, with the man himself curled into my side, wasn’t even momentarily disorienting. My mind caught instead on how peaceful he looked in his sleep, as though the struggles of our waking hours didn’t exist in his dreams.

I stretched my free arm, since the other was wrapped around him, and I didn’t want to wake him up. The motion reminded me with a sharp twinge of how he’d bitten me the night before. It felt almost ridiculously decadent, having been bitten, and feeling like...like it was wicked and sexy and something between just us. Like he’d been claiming me as his, and every part of me had accepted the brand.

Was I being ridiculous? Juvenile? Delta had certainly thought so when she’d started to lecture me a few days earlier, but?—

Fuck that , Iri said, decisive and irritated, as she’d been so often lately. But not irritated with me, which was still something new.

I’m not being ridiculous? It was silly, but I had to ask. Part of me felt like I was doing something wrong, even if it was just because I’d never before done precisely what I wanted to. I do feel a little like a kid again .

Yeah, because you were never allowed to be a kid when you were a kid. And then at twenty-five, suddenly you were responsible for millions of lives. You’ve never been a kid, Cove. You’re allowed to take a minute for yourself now, even if it’s thirty years later than it should have been .

That was...well. I swallowed hard at the emotion welling up in me at the thought. I’d never really considered it that way. I had enough education to be aware of the psychological concept, but I’d never considered the possibility that it could apply to me.

But it didn’t matter, did it? If I was acting out some childhood I’d never had a chance to live before, then I was. It didn’t change how I felt about Florian, or what I planned to do.

I was, however, going to have to tell Delta.

You already told her you’re planning to stay here for the foreseeable future , Iri pointed out. And I told her I thought you’d be staying for good.

You . . . did?

Duh.

Trust Iri not to pull punches, I supposed. Why did you think that? Or why did you say it?

She was quiet for a moment, and I wondered if she didn’t want to explain. You’re better with him. Not that you were bad before. You’ve always been a good leader. Strong. Stoic. Unflagging. It was always a little like you were playing a role, only I thought you were the role. I didn’t realize you were just...doing your duty. You never did anything else, so I assumed that was all there was. She gave a little hissing noise that sounded like frustration. It was ignorant of me. I’m older than the fucking hills, quite literally. I should have known better .

For what it’s worth, I don’t think I knew there was more to me anymore. I thought I was just...empty .

It was strange, Iri and I had always spoken, but I hadn’t ever felt her before, and suddenly, I was certain she was in emotional pain. I could feel it as surely as I could have felt a stab in the gut. I wanted to apologize, but I wasn’t sure what I’d be apologizing for. Had I even done something wrong, or was the situation at fault?

“Thinking deep thoughts?” Florian’s sleep-roughened voice interrupted my worry, and it was like the sun came out from behind clouds. The whole room was brighter, lighter, better with his presence. I’d thought he seemed beautiful and peaceful in sleep, but it was nothing compared to looking into those soft green eyes and seeing that he cared about me.

I shook my head. “Talking to Iri, mostly. She likes me better when I’m with you. It’s...good, I think. Because I am with you, and I’m not planning on letting that change.”

His sleepy smile was the most beautiful thing I’d seen in my life. No, Florian was the most beautiful thing I’d seen in my life.

“That is good,” he agreed. “I don’t want to have to move to Moonstriker lands permanently. It’s too cold there.” At that, he gave a theatrical shiver and snuggled closer to me. “Though I suppose the cold would make for a good excuse to snuggle under a blanket.”

“Fortunately, I don’t need an excuse for that. It’s one of those things I learned by being old. I don’t need an excuse to do what I want, as long as nobody’s getting hurt. I just do it.”

Florian scoffed and gave me a light whack on the shoulder. “You’re not that old.”

Snuggling into the blankets next to him, I tugged him into my arms. “No, not especially. And since Moonstrikers, with the exception of my father, are generally rather long-lived, I’m not too worried about dropping dead on you.”

“Good,” Florian said, burying his head against my chest. “Because I expect you to stay forever.”

I thought, for a moment, about Moonstriker. About how things would work without me.

Let them figure that out , Iri whispered to me. Let Delta step up. Or hells, maybe it’s time for her to step down. She can let Rain take over. It’s not like you’re planning on taking over Dawnchaser here. Maybe it’s time for the new generation to take the reins everywhere .

And that? That seemed like a pretty damned good plan to me.

They couldn’t fuck it up any worse than we did, could they?