Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

Lilliana

This is how I die.

I didn't want to think about it, but I accepted on the way here that I might lose, and in doing so could sacrifice my life for the chance to free my pack from the curse.

At least I thought I'd accepted it.

But now with my strength rapidly waning and my wolf unable to claim an advantage, it's looking more and more hopeless.

Blood mats my fur; some his, but more mine. He's gotten in several good bites, his jaws like iron. Adrenaline pumps through my body thanks to my racing heart, but it's not enough to ignore these injuries. Everything hurts, and even though I continue fighting with everything I have, emotion thickens in my chest. I'm losing, I'm going to lose.

We're circling each other, members from both packs forming a wide ring around us to witness. I'm too stressed, too distracted, to see if any of them are furry faces I recognize. I'm certain my fated are here; I can sense my pack around me, but I can't pick out individuals. However, I know my mates would be the first to make it through, and they wouldn't leave me for anything.

My eyes remain sharp, watching for any sign he's about to make a move while I rely on my rapid healing to help keep me in this fight.

If I lose, I know Nielsen will kill me. I'd expect nothing less from the man who tortures his own pack, kills them even, just to get them to shift. Why should I be spared in the face of such a defeat? I imagine it'll be the frosting on the cake for him, to force me to submit then snap my neck with both packs watching.

Uncle Dom won't be a terrible alpha. He cares deeply about our pack. Even if he's not the best suited, he's all they've got, and he has Roxanne to help him. They'll make it work.

In a flash, Nielsen flies across the circle, his jaws aimed for my throat. I dodge, and his teeth sink into my shoulder instead. I release a yelp of pain, but he can't clamp down so I'm able to tear myself away and retreat to safety on the other side of the circle, now limping noticeably.

Failure. I feel like such a failure. This was all my plan, and I'm the one letting everyone down. I assumed that being male, Nielsen wouldn't be as strong of a fighter. I beat Jeff easily, and he said only Nielsen and his beta had ever beaten him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. There has to be more to it than that.

I have to keep trying. The surrounding faces are a blur. I can't pick an individual out. But I know some of them are my pack, my mates. I can't let them watch me give up without a fight. If I'm going to die today, I don't want it to be while I'm running scared in a circle, trying to get away from a bully.

My tongue hangs from the side of my mouth; I haven't been able to catch my breath since we started, and my mouth is so dry my tongue is itchy. That can't be a good sign. I need to end this soon or I'll have nothing left.

Resolved, I gather up the courage to go on the offensive again. I try to assess him for weaknesses to exploit, but I've struggled to find many. He's quick and observant. Stronger than me. His sharp eyes watch every minuscule movement of my paws; it's like he knows where I'm going before even I do.

Emotion clogs my throat. It's impossible. Impossible. I can barely stay upright and he looks as if he can go all night.

Continuing to limp around the circle, I search my body and gather up every drop of energy I have left. Mentally suppressing the pain, I focus on making one strong, final attack.

If it's going to end, it's going to end on my terms.

Nielsen's wolf eyes bore into me, as if he can read my every thought.

I refuse to look away. Maybe, if I hold his gaze, he won't see be able to predict my next move.

So without blinking, I feint right, then charge forward, redirecting at the last moment with a hop to the left, hoping to come at him from the side and lock my jaws around his throat.

Instead, Nielsen's teeth close on my neck and he slams me hard to the ground with a vicious snarl.

My feet claw at him uselessly. I have no energy left to free myself.

Suddenly, I hear Nielsen's voice in my head, like a sharp stab to my brain. It reverberates with the double-timbre of the alpha voice and rattles around in my head like an echo.

"Give up, girl. You've lost!"

I can't reply, my brain is too busy trying to understand. So all this time, we could communicate by thoughts? No one else has mentioned it. Maybe it's an alpha thing?

"I'm going to snap your pretty neck, Harridan. If that doesn't force my son to shift, nothing will, and then he's no son of mine. But before I do, I want you to concede that I won!" His teeth dig a little deeper, a fierce snarl rumbling against my blood-matted fur.

I still don't respond. Is there a way for me to use this alpha-talk to my advantage? It feels important, but I'm swiftly running out of time to figure it out.

Nielsen shakes his head back and forth, dragging my body across the ground and deepening the gashes in my throat.

"There's no getting out of it now, Harridan. I can do this all night, if that's what it takes. But you will admit defeat. And when I take over Smoky Falls, this'll all have been worth it. So, by all means, drag it out in the most painful way possible. It won't change a thing."

"You have no claim to Smoky Falls!" I don't mean to reply in the weird mind-meld we have going on, but it must have happened instinctually. "I challenged you for Montrose; my pack was never on the table."

Nielsen chuckles darkly in my head, the sound grating on my nerves. "On the contrary, girl. When you lose, you lose it all. So, thanks for bringing such a prize to my doorstep. The magic has been fading here for some time, despite the best efforts of our witches. Smoky Falls has a much deeper, more powerful magic. It'll be a fresh start for all of us. And with so many young females, I shouldn't have a problem claiming a new mate and siring some proper heirs."

No! That's not how this was supposed to happen. A sob rises in my throat, but my wolf form can't complete it, and I refuse to whine.

Now I know I can't give up. A sadistic prick like Nielsen can't take over Smoky Falls. It's my duty as their alpha to protect them, whatever the cost.

I have to keep fighting. I have to drum up some energy, some strength, from somewhere.

I have to protect my pack. I will protect my pack.

I'm their alpha.

As if my limp body were an empty balloon, warm, tingling power floods into me, soothing the sharp pains and aches and filling my body with renewed energy. I remain still, Nielsen's teeth clenched around my neck and his threatening growls rumbling in his chest.

I'm not sure what's happening, but my mind sharpens, my spirits lifting like a tiny boat on a tsunami, and I ride the wave to its peak.

Faint voices, almost imperceptible, whisper encouragement. They don't echo and bounce in my head like Nielsen's does, but I hear them all the same.

"Come on Alpha!"

"He's nothing compared to you."

"You can do this!"

"I believe in you!"

"Find your power, Lilliana. You just have to believe."

That last voice I know without hesitation; it's my uncle Dom.

"Dom?" I think back at him, unsure if this works both ways.

"Yes! You've got it! I knew you could do it." His voice radiates pride.

"What am I doing? I don't even understand it."

"You've finally accepted your place as alpha. It allows you to communicate with the pack, and draw on their energy when you need it."

"Are you serious right now? So all this time I still wasn't alpha? And that's why I couldn't fight?"

"It's more complex than that, but until you fully embraced your duty as alpha, you couldn't draw on an alpha's most important resource: the pack."

Nielsen growls again, shaking me back and forth in his efforts to claim my submission. I force myself to remain limp, allowing him to think he's still winning while I wrap my head around this new information.

I thought the ‘strength of the pack' meant just having so many people, many hands make light work. It never occurred to me drawing on the strength of the pack meant literally drawing from their energy.

My voice still reverberates with the alpha timbre when I think at him, but Dom's doesn't. "Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Shouldn't they know I'm supposed to hear them?"

"They can't speak to you; you can only hear them if you reach out to listen. I'm not speaking to you so much as thinking loudly, and hoping you'll hear me. It's another talent of the alpha's, so we can monitor the pack. They don't know you can hear them."

A sudden flicker of apprehension hits me. "Can Nielsen hear us?"

"No, not unless you're aiming your thoughts directly at him."

"Good. I don't want him to know what I'm about to do."

That distinctive note of pride is in Dom's tone again. "You can do this, Lilliana. We all believe in you."

"Thank you, uncle."

As much as their whispered words—or rather, thought words—of encouragement are buoying me up, I mentally cut myself off in order to focus.

Right now, Nielsen believes I've all but given up and have nothing left to fight him.

Of course it makes sense, now, how he could beat me so easily. He was drawing on an endless well of energy, able to recover almost instantly from the injuries I dealt him. I only had my personal reserves, so I didn't stand a chance against that sort of power before. I conjure up a silent prayer of gratitude that something in me refused to concede in those long, dark minutes, despite my utter lack of hope.

But despite his obvious frustration, I get the sense that Nielsen isn't that upset that I've yet to whine my submission. He seems to bask in the belief that he's won, practically preening with it. He drags me around in a circle as if showing off his handiwork to all the observers.

Mentally, I check myself over carefully. Of course I can't observe them, but all the wounds I've received don't seem to hurt anymore. Whether it's some kind of mental block or the collective pack energy bolstered my recovery and I'm actually healed, I'm grateful either way.

But my body feels primed and ready to continue fighting, as if I've just woken from a long, restful night of sleep.

Even Nielsen's teeth in my throat aren't painful. I can feel the pressure, but it doesn't really hurt.

My body is bursting with vitality, but I remain limp. I need Nielsen to be convinced I'm completely out of a fight so he'll make a fatal error for me to take advantage of.

It takes a few more minutes of his ridiculous show, but he finally does what I've been waiting for.

Previously, Nielsen was dragging me around by walking backwards and hauling my body across the pavement. Apparently tired of that maneuver, he tried strutting forward and allowing my body to drag alongside him.

But now, obviously tired of the awkward positioning and absolutely convinced he's already won, he lifts his head further and straddles my body so he can haul my limp form more easily.

With a vicious snarl, I clamp my teeth on his ear and kick my legs out, clawing at his chest and his soft underbelly. My sharp claws dig in, and hot liquid coats my paws as I keep kicking viciously.

Nielsen has no choice but to release me or lose his entrails. Even rapid healing can't prevent that with the level of injury I've dealt him.

When I pop to my feet, a chorus of howls rises all around me. My pack celebrating with me. In the distance, the wolves who're too far away to witness directly take up the howl. My eyes never leave Nielsen, but I can feel the shift in the air, the other pack suddenly uncomfortable.

I can't give my opponent time to recover, so I attack him savagely. He tries to counterattack, but he's still protecting his shredded belly and waiting for the skin to knit back together, so there's not a lot he can do.

In a matter of minutes, I've got his throat between my jaws.

How the tables have turned.

Sinking my teeth in, I order him, "Concede."

"In your dreams, Harridan."

"I can see your guts, Nielsen. One more pass with my claws and all of your insides will be outside. You've lost."

"Then I guess you'd better end it, because I will never concede."

I huff my frustration into his furry neck. "Why does it have to be like this? All I ever wanted was to lift the curse your witch put on my family ages ago. Why should I suffer because your ancestors left mine? Why should my mates share in the burden of being tied to our territory for the rest of our lives? There's no reason for us to hate each other this way. I'm trying to end that, don't you understand?"

Nielsen's coarse laugh grates at my senses. "I can't believe you idiots still believe that lie. We're not the problem, princess. You are."

A snarl rips through my chest, and I shake him, tightening my jaws.

"What do you mean ‘we believe that lie'?"

"The curse that keeps you from leaving Smoky Falls. There is no curse, it's a fairy tale."

"That's a lie. The curse killed my great aunt."

"Your great aunt killed herself , princess. Your pack blamed it on us, and here we are."

"I don't believe you," I snarl mentally, and give him a savage shake for good measure.

"Believe what you want. It doesn't matter to me."

"Why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense."

"You're a teenage girl. It should be obvious to you. She was in love with one of the men who left Smoky Falls. She couldn't handle being rejected by one of her fated, so she took her own life. It's hardly unusual, even for normal humans."

My head spins with this take on events. "But I know there's a curse. I haven't been able to shift whenever I want, like you all can. That's real!"

Nielsen chuckles again. "Well, yeah, that's true. The witch who cast the spell splitting the packs was petty. In Smoky Falls, there was a curfew of sorts. No one could shift between midnight and dawn; they were a bit more superstitious back then, and believed it would turn them into feral wolves, permanently. So, as a parting gift, she made it so they could only shift after midnight. Not what I would have done, but it wasn't my choice. I'd never punish the pack for shitty leadership."

There's no way for me to verify his version of events, but something deep in my gut believes it. My stomach flips sickeningly as realization after realization passes through my thoughts in rapid succession.

"They knew, didn't they? My family. They knew it wasn't a curse, that she did it to herself."

"Of course they knew. She left a note! They just wanted your pack to hate us for all time, and to make sure none of their descendants ever tried to reunite the packs again."

"Of course they did," I sigh mentally, but it comes out of my wolf's snout as a huff. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

"You may not like me, or my methods, but I've never lied to you, Harridan."

"That doesn't excuse you torturing your pack to get them to shift. Whatever your intentions, you've abused their trust horribly. You have no business being alpha."

"Oh, and you do? A teenage girl who relies on her hormones more than the experience she clearly lacks?"

I snarl. "I'm not interested in trading insults with you. Concede, and I'll allow you to remain in Montrose. That's the best offer you'll receive."

"And if I refuse?"

"I will kill you. You seem to be under the delusion that I'm incapable, but I will do anything to protect my pack. Montrose is also my pack, and I will protect them from you."

"You don't have it in you, little girl. You weren't raised with our ways; your soft human heart won't be able to kill me."

Fury ripples under my skin, and I tighten my jaw, teeth scraping against the bones in his neck and cutting off his air supply.

"I don't have it in me, huh?" I think savagely. "Do you really want to test that theory?"

Nielsen's wolf body twitches, his paws kicking feebly in an instinctive fight to free himself and breathe.

He holds out longer than I expected, but he eventually emits a low whine.

I ease my clenched teeth apart a millimeter, snarling, and he understands my meaning. This time the whine is louder, audible to the surrounding wolves. Howls of joy rise from my pack, and I refocus on Nielsen.

"You have tonight to get your things and move out of this house. I will send my pack inside your little dungeon to free everyone inside, including Derrek. Don't even think about interfering or I will kick you out of the pack."

With that final thought I release him, lashing my tongue against my teeth to scrape off the coating of blood and fur from holding him so long.

I pause for just a moment, observing the joyful crowd of wolves and searching for my mates. As much as I want to stay and celebrate, I need to go free Derrek, now .

I spin in circles, uselessly, unable to find them. I know their wolf faces as well as their human ones, but I don't see them in the raucous crowd. There are people still in human form, wading among the wolves. Some stark naked and some still in clothes. It's absolute chaos, and panic rises in my chest.

Where the hell are my mates?

I should have known not to turn my back on a man like Nielsen. But some part of me believed, or at least hoped, that he had some honor, however twisted it might be.

Turns out, that mistaken belief was enough to get me killed.