Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Lilliana

Eventually the cold from the ground seeps into my bones, complimented by the biting wind, and I have no choice but to get up and make my way back to Harridan House. Even though I still feel Derrek's absence, my emotions have settled enough for me to start strategizing again. It's still early afternoon, and incredibly difficult to accept that twenty-four hours ago I was getting a make-over from Roxanne for the big homecoming dance that never was.

Passing through the kitchen door without drawing attention from the staff, I slip upstairs and into my suite.

The tv is on but muted, and Milo is on the couch, staring anxiously down at his phone. Surprise crosses his face when he sees me, followed by a relieved smile.

"Hey Lily, did you get what you were after?" He taps a few words into his phone before setting it on the table and crossing the room to greet me.

"Yeah, I feel better. That's definitely what I needed. Is… everything okay?" I glance pointedly at his phone, now facedown on the coffee table.

"Of course." Milo grips my jacket at the collar to help me slip out. "We were just worried about you being on your own. I promised Landon and Jared I'd let them know you made it back safe."

"Sheesh, and here I thought becoming alpha would mean I got to be a grownup now." It's only a little sarcastic; their concern for me is part of our bond, and I know it's not a reflection of how capable they think I am.

Milo opens his mouth, but I press a finger to his lips before the apology could cross them. "I'm just teasing. I know you don't mean anything by it." I replace the finger with my lips, hoping a kiss will completely erase the sting from my comment.

It works. He's thoroughly distracted. One warm hand cups my cheek and the other wraps around my waist, pulling my body closer while our kisses deepen. My arms twine around his shoulders and I toy mindlessly with his satiny hair. Tension builds in my belly, and I let myself drift into the delicious warmth of our physical connection. I don't know if it's a fated mates thing or a hormonal teenager thing, but nothing can shut off my anxious brain like intimacy with one of my guys.

Milo's fingers trail along my jaw and thread into my wind-blown mass of hair, curling to pull gently at the strands. Electricity courses over my skin; it feels good, but it's not the same as Derrek's forceful tug that curled my toes and clenched my belly.

And just like that, I'm hit with a stabbing pain in my chest, remembering Derrek is somewhere I can't reach him.

With a gentle hand to keep him in place, I pull away from Milo and break our kiss. Instead of breaking contact completely, I tuck my face into his chest and wind my arms around his waist, and he obliges my need for comfort by wrapping warm arms around my shoulders and squeezing me tightly.

We stay there in silence for a few long moments before I speak, murmuring into his shirt.

"I have to get Dom and Roxanne to help me come up with an actual plan to rescue Derrek."

"Mmm," is Milo's reply. He rests his cheek on the top of my head and squeezes.

"I don't want to force them to comply. But I don't have a lot of experience in coercing people to agree with me, either."

"Mmm-hmm." His chest is warm against my cheek, and the rumbling vibration of his voice blends with the natural vibrations close contact with his body always gives me.

"I know nothing about Pack Montrose, or where they would put Derrek, or honestly, what they really want him for."

One of Milo's hands starts rubbing circles on my back, and my eyes close in contentment, despite the increasingly fast beat of my heart.

"I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision and more people will get hurt." It's easier to admit my fears in this warm, safe space with my eyes closed. I still can't bring myself to admit my biggest concern to him, but this is close.

Milo continues rubbing my back wordlessly, his body supporting me as I sag against him.

"I don't know what to do." My voice is barely above a whisper, and I'm not even sure he can hear me.

"Trust your instincts, Lily," Milo finally replies. "You were born to do this, and we're all here on your side. Whatever you decide, the pack will follow you."

"Will they?" I question in a tremulous voice. "Or will I have to force them to do what I say? And if I make a mistake after that, how can I call myself a leader?"

"I don't believe there is any such thing as a perfect leader. There are good people with good intentions who do the best they can. Perhaps these people are smart, and they make informed decisions. Perhaps they consider the advice of those around them. But everyone makes mistakes, and leaders are no exception. Even the world's greatest leaders have slipped more than once in their careers."

It feels rather on the nose, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better. "I'm afraid that I'll do what I think is right and I'll be dead wrong."

"I know. But I believe that if you stay true to what you think and feel and believe is right, there's no way it can be wrong."

I'm torn between dismissing him as someone who has to tell me what he thinks I need to hear because he's my fated mate, and grasping onto his words like a drowning woman would clutch a life raft.

"How do you have so much faith in me when I have so little in myself?"

"Maybe that's why Landon, Jared and I exist, Lily. To bolster you when you doubt yourself. Did you ever consider that?"

I pause, considering. "No," I answer honestly. "I just assumed it was a politics and mating thing."

"Well, don't forget that—assuming you choose to accept us all—we become a team of alphas. Once we complete that ceremony, it's not all on your shoulders anymore."

"So then, it's like… an oligarchy?" I'm pleased to dredge up the political term from my GED cramming over the last year. Apparently, more is still rattling around in there than I realized.

"I'm not sure, exactly. There hasn't been a mated alpha in my lifetime. But from my studies I assumed it was something like we, as your mates, have alpha authority, and sort of serve as your council. You'd still be the ‘top' alpha, but the three of us function as a team to help make decisions and run the pack."

A guilty feeling accompanies my immediate thoughts of Derrek. "And how does the mate-claiming thing work again?"

Milo gives me a reassuring squeeze. "It's not as big of a deal as you think. Basically, it's like the first ceremony where you shifted, except instead of being on the full moon, it's on the lunar eclipse. The whole pack gathers, you make your declaration to claim us as your mates, and then we all four shift and run together to seal the bond, with the pack following."

"And what if…" I lick my lips, searching for the right words. "What if one of you can't make it? Like you're sick or something?"

"You don't have to worry about us, Lily. Even if we were at death's door, we'd be there."

"I know, but if you couldn't?" I press, grateful he can't see my expression when I ask; he'd know immediately I wasn't talking about the three of them. "Could I just claim you in name?"

"From what I remember of Pack History classes, that has never been an issue. So I really can't give you an answer, but maybe Mr. Carson would know? He's the pack historian, after all. Or maybe the pack seer, since it's more about how the magic works than anything. But I always assumed it was the act of running together with the pack as witnesses that seals the deal." He squeezes me again, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Regardless, it's not something you need to worry your pretty head about. We would never fail to be there for you. Again, assuming you choose to claim us."

Milo's efforts to avoid pressuring me are sweet, but even I can hear the conviction in his tone when he talks about the three of them being my mates. It's such a foregone conclusion for him; he talks about our future status as mates in the same casual way he describes the color of the sky, as if it's obvious to anyone who can see it.

My ache for Derrek has a new sense of urgency. Not only do I need to get him back, to have him here with me where he's safe; I need him to bond, somehow, with Milo, Jared, and Landon before the next lunar eclipse, which is a little over a month away. Of course, that includes me explaining the entire mess to all four of them.

Which brings me back to the matter at hand: Rescuing Derrek.

I pull away from Milo and claim his hand, tugging him toward the door. "I suppose we should see how far Dom and Roxanne have gotten in the rescue planning."

As it turns out, not very far. The leftovers from a lunch tray are congealing on plates they've piled on a nearby cart, and they're both clutching coffee cups despite the mid-afternoon hour.

Dom is still stubbornly insisting on working slowly and quietly behind the scenes to reconnect with his Pack Montrose contacts, and planning the wolf pack equivalent of a hostage exchange.

Roxanne has apparently convinced him that Derrek is valuable for us to bring in, but not that he could be in imminent danger.

"I'm telling you, Nielsen will not hurt his only heir. We have time to do this the right way."

"How do you know Derrek is his only heir?" Roxanne counters. "He could have claimed him for a number of reasons, not just out of necessity. And most of those reasons are not anything that'll be good for us, I guarantee it."

Dom sighs heavily. "It's widely known in Pack Montrose that Nielsen's mate died during the birth of their first child. He hasn't taken another mate, which only leaves the boy."

"Clearly he sowed some wild oats despite having a mate, given Derrek's existence in the first place. It's not too much of a stretch to believe that he may have other children we don't know about."

I join them at the table, and Milo fixes us both a mug of coffee from a nearby carafe before he settles in beside me.

"Did you get some fresh air?" Roxanne smiles warmly in my direction, even though her eyes are tired. Clearly, arguing with my uncle wears on her.

"Yes, getting outside was a good reset. Perhaps you both should take a break?"

"No need to worry about us. We're both committed to being here and figuring out a plan," Dom answers. "We can keep the coffee coming all night if we need to."

Drawing on Milo's supportive presence, I state, "Good, because I want him out of Montrose territory by the end of this week."

A worried expression crosses Roxanne's face as she glances between me and Dom.

"No way," my uncle answers decisively. "We don't want to go in there half-cocked and start a war with them over someone who isn't even part of our pack. I know he's your friend, and I know you're worried about him. But we're not Seal Team Seven, and he's not a high-value pack member. I'm still not convinced this is even something we should focus on right now."

Fury rises like a wave in my ears, dulling every sound but the powerful beating of my heart. It takes everything I have not to scream at him. Derrek is as important to me as one of my own limbs, which I'd happily sacrifice to get him back.

I take a moment to choose my words, then speak in the most respectful tone I can manage. "I appreciate your input, Dom, but I disagree. Derrek is our connection to the family that cast the curse, and he may be our best shot at undoing it. You yourself believed the answers lay with Pack Montrose, and I can't think of a single benevolent reason for Avery Nielsen to sneak into our territory to claim him. If it was for an innocent reason, he would have gone about it differently. That he forced Derrek to go with him tells me Derrek is in danger; he's obviously being held against his will or we'd have heard from him by now."

Dom waves me off dismissively. "Have you considered that he made that move to test our defenses? We've shored up the weakness for now, but don't believe for a single second that Nielsen isn't looking for a way to get one over on us. We don't know how many of our pack members may be compromised. Before we even think about attacking another pack, we have to get our own house in order."

Rage simmers under my skin. "I know I still have a lot to learn about being alpha, but it is my job to protect my pack. I'm confident in the current status of the Smoky Falls wolves.

"Derrek was taking care of me when none of you knew I existed. To me, he's pack, and he's in danger. His witch of a cousin is definitely planning something, and I don't intend to sit around and find out what it is when we're too late to do anything about it."

My uncle's voice rises, his tone both snide and condescending. "You're practically still a kid, Lily, and you have no idea what it means to have people's lives in your hands—being alpha isn't just power, it's responsibility. And that responsibility is the safety of the pack , not some guy you lived with as a teenage runaway."

Milo bristles beside me. "Now wait a minute-"

Roxanne speaks at the same time in a gentler tone. "Dom, I think you ought to-"

But I've had enough of his holier-than-though attitude. My wolf demands that I put him in his place and remind him who the alpha is. Standing, I slam my hands on the table to get everyone's attention.

My gaze is laser-focused on my uncle's incredulous expression. "You may have been alpha in my absence, but you no longer hold that responsibility." The alpha voice is so strong it almost feels as if it reverberates through the room. "I am the alpha, and I am the one who makes all decisions for the Smoky Falls Pack. I respect your opinion, but don't presume to give me orders. I give the orders, and I am saying we will rescue Derrek by the end of this week, if not sooner. Every day he's in Montrose is a day he's in danger. I've heard your thoughts on what should be done, and I have chosen a different course. Now your job is to help me create a plan and execute it. I don't want to force my will onto anyone, but the alpha has that power for a reason. Don't make me use it."

If my statement surprised him, he doesn't show it. "How typical, for a teenage girl to throw a fit when things aren't going her way. Just because you have alpha blood, it doesn't mean you are in any way prepared to lead a pack. My sister trained to take over as alpha until the day she disappeared, and she clearly was incapable of leading anyone. You don't know how things work here. If I had any choice, I would not have allowed you to take over as alpha until I was certain you were ready, but magic doesn't care about the practical, in the end.

"So, being unable to lead anyone, you're just going to resort to using the alpha command and forcing everyone to do what you say? That sure seems like a terrible way to run a pack. But what do I know? I only did it for twenty years."

"Enough." My voice is a deep, simmering growl, laden with the alpha command, and it silences Dom immediately. "You dealt with constant disquiet during your tenure because you were a poor excuse for an alpha. Your criticism of my use of the alpha command to force compliance is a joke, given everything I know about how you operated. Don't get me started on keeping me under Roxanne's compulsion for a year just to keep me under your thumb.

"Since I'm more generous than you, I'm going to give you a choice between two options: either stay and assist me, showing the deference I'm due as your alpha, or leave Smoky Falls. If you stay, you can consult and offer your opinions when asked for, but otherwise, you will completely cease challenging my decisions. If you leave, you are no longer a member of this pack.

"I'm leaving. When I come back, you'll either be here and prepared to be an asset to my team, or you'll be nothing more than a memory."

I stride away from the table, my back stiff as I march across the room and out the door. Milo follows close behind me, and I hear nothing but deafening silence in my wake.

MILO

Despite crowing internally with pride for my mate, I can't help worrying about how she's feeling. I follow as she storms out of the library, heading directly for the stairs. Fury rolls off of her in palpable waves so thick I can practically see them.

"Are we-" I try to ask about her plans, but she cuts me off.

"I need to get out of here." Lily's tone is clipped, as if she's afraid of speaking more than is absolutely necessary and unleashing her rage upon me.

"Sure, let's go for another walk. I can grab our coats-"

"No, I mean out of here. This house. This property. I would leave Smoky Falls if I could." She starts trotting down the stairs. "You have your car, right?"

A wave of discomfort rolls through my gut. "I do."

"Great. You're driving."

"Of course. Where are we going?"

"It doesn't matter, just away from here ."

Despite her much shorter legs, I'm practically sprinting to keep up with her. It turns out she can really hustle when she wants to.

I expect her to wait in the entry while I bring the car around like normal, but apparently it's not in the cards. Lily marches straight out the door and hangs a left toward the former stables that now houses an impressive garage, where my car is parked outside. I slip my hand into hers and thread our fingers together, hoping it'll comfort her. It seems to help, but not by much. She's too agitated to be comforted.

The temperature seems to have dropped overnight, making the brisk air feel more like winter than the pleasant fall afternoon I was expecting. Lily doesn't react to the weather, either. Her movements are almost mechanical, like she's on some sort of autopilot.

I wait until we're in the car, seats warming as we're zipping down the driveway, before I speak.

"That was impressive, Lily. You did the right thing, you know. He deserved to be put in his place."

She stares out the window wordlessly, watching the bare trees speed by.

"I was almost expecting Dom to get on his hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. Honestly, he should have. Whether or not he agrees with you, his job is to do what you tell him to do, period. He shouldn't have spoken to you that way."

Lily's chest rises and falls dramatically under her crossed arms, and she turns to face me with sad eyes and a trembling lip. "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. He was right. I don't know what I'm doing."

Hot indignation rises in my chest. "What? No, the hell he was not right. You're the alpha. That's all he should care about."

"But he has way more experience being alpha than I do."

"I'll admit the situation is unusual—typically someone doesn't become alpha until the previous alpha dies—but nothing about this pack has been ‘usual' for decades. That doesn't change the fact that he owes you his respect, not to mention his loyalty. If he was meant to be alpha, your manifestation wouldn't have made you alpha. That alone is proof that you're more worthy of the position than he ever was."

My eyes dart back and forth between the road and her face like a pair of ping-pong balls. Her emotions are overwhelming, a big mess of grief, fury, frustration, helplessness, and something a lot like heartache. The need to comfort her sets my blood racing through my veins.

"What's going on in your head, Lily? Despite our heightened connection, I still can't read your mind, you know."

That elicits a ghost of a smile. "Too much," she admits. "Too much to put words to. It's like a crowded room and all my thoughts are different people trying to speak over everyone else. It's just a jumble of noise."

"How can I help?"

"Just… drive, if you don't mind? Maybe there's somewhere we can go? Right now I just want quiet, and distance from that house and everyone in it."

"Anything for you, my darling." I tug at one of her crossed arms and she loosens her posture, allowing me to thread my fingers through hers. I lift her hand to my mouth for a kiss, then settle our joined hands into her lap and focus on the road.

If she wants to drive in silence to sort her thoughts, then I'm happy to oblige. After a quick mental inventory of options, I decide on somewhere to hide out; somewhere private, and somewhere that no one will come looking for her.