Chapter 1

1

D AVID

Earlier

At the business dinner in New York

Ping after ping echoes in my pocket, making people around the table glance at me with curiosity.

I reach inside my jacket and pull out my phone.

I don’t need to check the notifications to know it’s her. So, flashing a smile, I mute my phone, excuse myself, and walk away from the dinner table.

“Good evening, sir,” the hostess says as I slide past her and seek a quiet corner to check my phone.

Moments later, I walk onto the terrace.

A cold wind sweeps over the handrails, lifting up a handful of wet leaves. My gaze trails down, my thumb gliding over my phone screen.

Picture after picture pops onto the screen. Beauty and sweetness flash across, too.

She is so innocently unaware of how stunning she is with her soft eyes, red hair, and lips made for sin.

It would be so easy to destroy her and transform into someone else.

There is such a delicate balance between everything she has to offer and the sledgehammer of life that could come down at any time, mercilessly crushing her.

It stirs a deep need in me to protect and raise guardrails around her. And that is an old, familiar feeling. Something I haven’t felt in a very long while. Since back when I hadn’t been prepared and couldn’t anticipate the unfortunate ending looming in front of me.

But things are different now.

I am different. I know more about life––so much more. I lost that innocence that had gotten me into trouble the first time around.

A lot has happened since Anna and I smashed into the big wall of life and bounced away from each other.

Despite being as old as time, that story has cast a shadow over my life, impacting my decisions and shaping me into who I am today.

In retrospect, things happened the way they did for a reason, although I still can’t make sense of her untimely death.

That shocking twist added more grief to an already gruesome, dark story.

I made peace with all that, and now I have a different perspective on things. I haven’t kept a grudge despite the damage done.

In some of my best times, I was still that man who had once been let down, unexpectedly and brutally, with a finality that I couldn’t explain.

There was nothing I could do about it.

Some of the damage done couldn't be scrapped away or forgotten.

It’s still in me, tucked in the nooks and crannies of my soul, not hurting me anymore.

Not potent and consequential as it was.

Although here I am.

I’m taking a beautiful woman like her on an unpredictable journey while hiding behind the uncertainty of an erratic game and making baby steps toward a different and hopefully normal life.

The damaged man has exercised his power for so long. And I learned to love, understand, and accept him for who he was.

He had contained his pain until it morphed into a mist and a notion connected to the past, while now, the wiser man in me is curiously longing for that pain.

With clear eyes, I read into her soul.

I miss Elizabeth and never thought I’d miss anyone so much.

Beyond her appetizing body, alluring grin, and tender eyes, a curious, vibrant woman does her best to play this game.

It is a game after all.

Otherwise, she would’ve sent a full picture of herself.

Laughing, I type out a few messages and send them one after another.

A smile clings to my lips as I scroll through the gallery, searching for one clip in particular.

The one I recorded some time back.

Sexy as fuck, it will put a spark of lust in her.

It’s me entering her in that motel room.

There.

We’re back to doing naughty things.

“You’re having fun, huh?”

Gavin Livingston’s voice makes me instantaneously tap the screen and pocket my phone.

I slide a neutral gaze to him, trying not to look as guilty as I feel.

“I sure am,” I say, flashing a smile, diminishing the effect his abrupt appearance has on me.

“She isn’t married, is she?” he says, laughing and offering me a drink.

His gesture clearly indicates he's been looking for me.

I take his offering with a lazy smile.

“No, she isn’t. Married women are not worth the trouble.”

“Tell me about it. I swore off married women once I learned how badly it could affect my business.”

“You’re smart and correct in your assessment.”

We clink our glasses, and he tilts his chin toward my pocket.

“Anyone I know?”

Gavin and Bret Livingston have been a part of James Sexton’s business circle for a while. They never went away after selling a big chunk of their business empire to James.

Once you get a taste of making money on that scale, it’s hard to pull back and simply retire.

They’ve started several new businesses, invested a lot, and traveled around the globe like I do.

We run into each other occasionally.

Sometimes, it happens back in Colorado, while other times, we participate in the same business events here in New York, down south in Miami, across the pond in London, or on the other side of the globe in Singapore.

Forever against settling down with someone, they have crossed paths with me more than once when it comes to enjoying the company of women.

We happen to like the same type of woman, and not surprisingly, we’ve stumbled upon each other in some of the most exclusive gentlemen’s clubs around the world.

So, I’m not surprised he is probing me about my women.

Although, Elizabeth might not be what he has in mind.

“Is she someone I know?” he asks before binging his drink to his lips.

This is one of the things when you’re in this game. No one is in it to get married. And since we’re not playing it to get hitched, a recommendation can go far for all parties involved.

But this is not the game I’m playing now.

In fact, I’ve moved away from it.

I move my gaze over his eyes.

Gavin Livingston and his brother, Bret, have had some of the most beautiful women in Colorado. Their appetite for having fun with them, rewarding them for their time, and moving on with the probity and precision of a Swiss watch has only been matched by mine.

But things don’t feel the same for me right now.

“No. Not in the slightest,” I rush to say, doubling down on my lie.

I don’t think he knows Elizabeth, but he’s surely familiar with James’ inner circle.

So, dropping her name and hinting at her connection to James will most likely spark interest in this story, which isn’t something I indulge in. In fact, I’d like to avoid that at all costs.

“How come?” he asks after swallowing his hard liquor and reading my eyes.

“I’m trying something different this time,”’ I say before taking a sip myself.

A knowing smile curves his lips.

“Hmm…” he says, briefly looking down. “So if she’s not married or a dancer, what is she… A college student?”

The blood drains from my face.

The good thing is that only a sliver of light glows across our faces, and some of my displeasure remains hidden in the dark.

Fuck.

I hate how predictable this thing is.

But what else is there, right?

I have a hard time answering his question.

“Don’t tell me…” he murmurs before emptying his glass and pivoting to a nearby table to set it down. “Does she work for you? I totally understand it if she does,” he says.

He knows we have a strict policy against affairs at work.

A newly written one.

Yes, things had been wild before James got married, but now, we have to go public or keep it outside the office. And preferably with someone from outside the office as well.

No one wants that type of complication at work.

“She’s neither,” I say. “She’s a writer.”

His eyebrows shoot up.

“Writer? No kidding?”

His smile broadens.

I nod in response.

“Where did you find a writer?”

“At the coffee shop,” I say curtly.

He ponders my answer, nodding softly.

“Writers and coffee shops. It makes sense. Is she published, or is she an aspiring writer?”

“She’s not published,” I say dryly, hoping to end this conversation.

I’ve given him enough to quench his curiosity and leave me––and, more importantly, the idea of her––alone.

“Interesting,” he says.

A few seconds pass as I tense up, expecting him to make a reference to Rain’s book.

Not many people know about my past and my special connection with her or that I funded her first business.

But Gavin and his brother are worldly men who happen to know a lot of women. And these women like their pillow talk.

I’m sure one of these stories might’ve made the rounds.

“A writer…” he murmurs again. “Make sure you’re not ending up in one of those smutty books,” he tosses at me with humor.

Even so, I can’t tell whether this is a direct reference to Rain or not.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m nothing to write about,” I reply, and he chuckles while I smile.

“I see what you did there. Although, I beg to differ,” he comments when his phone rings.

Surreptitiously, I let out a troubled exhale while he answers the call.

His face lights up when he speaks.

“Hi, James,” he says, looking at me.

He laughs again while I slide my hands into my pockets.

“Yeah, yeah… Things are good. I’m here with David.”

A few moments pass as James talks.

“Yes. For sure. We’ll travel back next week.”

His eyes slide down, and I take it as a sign that the conversation is moving toward a business topic and, hopefully, away from me.

I use the opportunity to turn my back to him and stare at the view as his words drip in the quiet evening in the background.

As mesmerizing as New York City is at night, I wish I could be back in Colorado, lying on Elizabeth’s couch, a bottle of wine on the coffee table, her legs spread across my lap.

It’s interesting how life works.

You want to have everything in the beginning.

The hungrier you are for life, the more you want it.

And then you accomplish what you want, although not without a price.

You gain some, then lose some, but overall you get everything you want and some.

I have, for sure.

And then…

I suck in a long breath, my stare blank over the night view of the city.

Then, you get used to it and can’t imagine life any other way.

Life is still good, but you need less. You want less.

And you chase down the most rare things.

Having this conversation with Gavin just shone a light on my past life. My great, flashy, glamorous, satisfying life. I wouldn’t change anything about it.

But then, the question is…

Why am I thinking more about leaning back against her couch, watching her shed her robe and drink me in with lustful eyes, than being here in New York?

Why am I concerned with whether she’s safe?

Whether she’s locked the door, and her neighborhood is not riddled with crazies?

Why is it that what Julie said has gained a new meaning?

Do I really need a different kind of woman in my life?

And is Elizabeth that woman?

My question is rhetorical at best. I wouldn’t think about these things if she weren’t meaningful to me.

“Yeah… Sure,” Gavin murmurs behind me. “I don’t know. You have to talk to him. He has a new girl.”

My ears perk up just as my phone pings.

I reach inside my pocket and turn around to read Gavin’s face.

Palming his phone, he murmurs to me, “We were talking about you.”

I’m sure James is asking him who the new girl is.

My eyes go down to Elizabeth’s message, my attention still clinging to Gavin, the chatterbox.

You can’t win with these men, but funny enough, I’m not as annoyed as I thought I’d be.

Still, Elizabeth is mine, and mine alone. I won’t make a public statement now, so I have them in the audience.

The evenings spent at her place wouldn’t be the same if their scrutiny hovered over our heads.

I read her message, and my focus shatters.

It’s something about her having guests at her house.

What kind of fucking guests?

Her message is short and has no details, and I don’t have time to respond to her when I hear Gavin talk again.

“I don’t know,” he says. “A writer?”

Oh, fuck. Gavin may be clueless, but James is not.

He never has been.

I have no idea what James says, but Gavin laughs, moving his focus away from me and allowing me to read Elizabeth’s words again.

Our plans for the evening have just been canceled without much explanation.

I’m sure there is an explanation , and whoever stepped into her house must be close to her and is not supposed to know about us.

No one knows about us, and now more than ever, I want to keep it that way.

I shove my phone back into my pocket.

“Yeah, the place crawls with writers,” Gavin says, amused, confirming one more time that keeping it a secret is the right thing to do.

I flash a grin when he looks at me like he has just delivered a great joke.

“Tell James I’ll call him later,” I say.

Holding my gaze, he speaks.

“You heard the man,” Gavin says before wrapping it up with James.

Moments later, we walk back into the dining room as if nothing happened.