Chapter Five

My stomach is twisted with nerves when I arrive at Kashvi’s house after school Wednesday for our “session zero.” I remind myself that this isn’t the first time I’ve made a character for a D&D campaign, but it’s abundantly clear that this isn’t going to be like my other experiences. Luckily, Kashvi is waiting for me at the door this time.

“I’m glad you made it,” she says, and beckons me inside. “I was worried you might back out last minute.”

“Definitely not. Though right now I’m equal parts excited and terrified.”

“I’m sorry Logan was weirded out by the idea of you joining. I don’t know what was going on with him. He usually isn’t like that.”

“Maybe I should have let Grandma run him over in the parking lot that first day,” I mutter at the reminder of him and his whiplash behavior last time I was here.

“He’s very into D&D. Like, I think of myself as a big gamer, but I’m nowhere close to him. He probably just got used to thinking of our group in a certain way and needed to process the idea of someone new joining. Don’t worry about it.” She gives me a once-over and nods appreciatively. “Nice choice of outfit for today. You’re giving witchy-paladin vibes.”

I look down at myself, confused about why she thinks I look like a paladin, and then remember I’m wearing sun and moon earrings and a blue shirt with a large sun on it. Since paladins can worship sun deities, I guess that makes sense.

“Thanks, I actually made these.” I point to my earrings.

“Wait, you made those? No way, I love doing that stuff too! I made this.” She holds up her wrist to show me a bracelet made of six-sided dice interspersed with beads. I have no idea how I didn’t notice it until now—it’s so cool I’m tempted to barter my own jewelry for it. I tell her as much and she laughs loudly.

“We totally need to get together after school and make jewelry together. What do you think?”

I have to bite the inside of my cheek so I don’t scream YES in her face. No need to scare her off.

“Yeah,” I say in a fairly normal tone of voice. “That would be awesome.”

A small cheer goes up when I walk into the room. “You actually came!” Mark says, while both Sanjiv and Sloane wave.

I can’t stop myself from glancing over at Logan, who is looking carefully neutral as he flips through a manual. “I don’t scare easily.”

“Glad to hear that,” Sloane says.

“Session zero might be one of my favorite days,” Kashvi says. “Plus, my mom bought us pizza! Help yourself.” She points to a folding table pushed against a wall with multiple pizzas stacked on it, along with some half-opened bags of chips.

“But don’t eat all the veggie pizza. It’s my favorite,” Sanjiv adds.

At least there are snacks, so this isn’t completely unlike my other experiences. I take a slice of pepperoni and sit at the open seat at the table, which is next to Kashvi and directly across from Logan. He hasn’t made eye contact since I arrived. Maybe that’s how this whole campaign will go…assuming they’re still on board with letting me join after today. I guess it wouldn’t be horrible to have him ignore me, but it doesn’t feel great knowing someone is actively against my joining. I give him a peace offering in the form of a little smile, but rather than smiling back like a regular person, his lips press together in a line like he’s an annoyed emoji.

“Okay, we should get started,” Logan announces, and the others immediately quiet down. I guess he really is the leader here. “If we want to increase our viewer numbers, then we need this next campaign to be even more amazing than our last one, and that means we’ve got to bring it with our characters. What’s everyone thinking?”

“Are you ready for this? I’ve chosen my name….” Mark puts out his hands. “Rolo.”

There’s a beat of silence. “Rolo?” Sloane asks. “Um, can you give us some context here?”

Logan starts laughing, quietly at first and then louder. “That’s actually perfect for you.”

“Right? Because I… roll…low ?” Mark sits back dramatically and flicks a candy with the same name into his mouth.

The others break into laughter then.

“You should have seen him last campaign,” Kashvi explains to me. “It was honestly impressive how he could roll so badly every time. I swear your dice are jinxed or something.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve this time to fix that.”

“What class are you thinking?” Sanjiv asks him.

“I’m not sure yet. I only have the name, but the rest will come to me.”

“Logan, I’m sure you’ve got your character all figured out,” Sloane says, and Logan nods. “What are you going with?”

“A charismatic rogue elf named Adris Starcrown,” Logan says. “He’s the third son of a respected elven family who has always felt lesser than his older brothers. Eventually he leaves his family to explore the world and discovers that his grace and speed make theft very easy for him, particularly when he can charm the person before stealing from them. He’s always wanted his family to be proud of him, but since he’s done nothing but sharpen his thieving skills since abandoning them, he’s afraid to go home and see their disappointment. So he just keeps pushing, hoping to finally do something that will make him worthwhile in their eyes.”

My mouth drops open a little. Um, okay, so we’re going to that level of character backstory? I’ve never created anything like this before. In the past, Caden used a preexisting campaign module for our game, which worked well, but he barely knew what he was doing as a DM and the rest of us didn’t put a ton of effort into our characters. This time I need to be a lot more thoughtful.

I flip through the Player’s Handbook, hoping for inspiration. Rogues can take a lot of forms—they can be tomb raiders, assassins, and Zorro. If Logan’s putting his highest stat in Charisma instead of Dexterity, then he’s not going with the basic character build…but looking around, I’m getting the impression that’s exactly the goal. A regular Orc barbarian or human wizard isn’t going to cut it.

“Kashvi and I were talking earlier and we’ve decided”—Sanjiv takes a huge bite of pizza—“I’m a half orc.”

“I’m a half elf,” Kashvi adds. “And we’re half siblings—we share one parent. Our father.”

“Ha, I love it,” Sloane says.

“It’s cool that you two are role-playing like that,” I say. “I can’t imagine doing this with my brother.” Andrew and I can barely sit next to each other at the dinner table in peace, let alone actively choose to hang out together.

“We’re not siblings—we’re twins,” Sanjiv says. “It’s different. We may not be identical, but Kashvi is still my otherhalf.”

“They come as a package deal,” Sloane adds. “We’ve tried getting them to role-play other characters, but one way or another, they always end up working together.”

“It’s more fun that way,” Kashvi argues, a little sheepish. “Unless you have a real problem with it?”

Sanjiv looks ready to bean people in the forehead with dice if they complain, but no one does. “You’re our power couple. I’m not breaking you up,” Logan replies. “And I do mean that literally—are you two bringing the power again?”

“Absolutely. I’m going with druid for my class, but just because I’ll be communing with the natural world instead of swinging a sword doesn’t mean I won’t bring the power,” Sanjiv says.

“And I’m the fighter this time,” Kashvi says. “Don’t worry, we’ll be able to take on whatever Sloane throws at us.”

“Do you create your own home brew campaigns, or do you use something preexisting?” I ask Sloane.

“Home brew. It’s so fun coming up with the whole thing myself, even if it feels like an extra part-time job.”

My mind is spinning from all this info. They already have a rogue, druid, and fighter. There are plenty of other options—honestly, there’s an overwhelming number of classes, races, and specialties to choose from. This is one of the best parts of a new campaign, but it’s also intimidating because if you don’t choose correctly, then you’re stuck with a boring or useless character to role-play for the rest of the game. And this group seems serious enough that they won’t just kill me off and let me start a new character if my first build doesn’t pan out.

But before I can make more progress, Mark distracts me. “I’ve got it! Rolo is a halfling fighter and he thinks he’s related to your characters.”

“Like another half brother?” Sanjiv asks.

“Exactly. He’s not going to be the smartest Rolo in the package.”

“We should play along,” Kashvi says, glancing at Sanjiv. “Take pity on him.”

“Have you got anything, Quinn?” Sloane asks me. Their voice is soft, like they’re scared to pressure me.

“Um, maybe.” I flip another page in the Player’s Handbook. “I’m still thinking.”

“Do you know how to build a character?” Logan asks.

My head snaps up. “Yes, I know how to build a character. This isn’t my first time.”

“Okay, fine, but it’s your first time playing with us. If you’re going to be part of this group, then your character needs to work with the party. We need a balanced group of—”

I turn to Kashvi. “Is he always like this?”

“You get used to it.”

“Doubtful.”

“Like what?” he asks, looking to the others.

“This classic mansplaining you’re doing. You think I don’t know how characters work? Or parties? I don’t need everything explained to me.”

“I think you need a few things explained to you,” he mutters, and I want to flick him with my dice. He puts his hands out. “I was only trying to help but, please, go ahead. If we allow you to join our group, what are you planning to bring to the table?”

I smirk. “You want a balanced party? Okay, how about a ranger?” I put my chin on my fist and wait for the response I know I’ll get.

He lets out an exasperated sigh just like I predicted. “Do you know how redundant that would be when we already have two fighters and a rogue? What if we come across an enemy we can’t swing a sword at?”

“Why do you think I suggested it?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

Kashvi lets out a snort laugh.

Sloane interrupts to ask Mark about his character and it gives me a few minutes to decide in peace. An idea comes to me, and I jot some notes down so I don’t forget anything. When there’s a lull in the conversation, I jump in. “I want to be a hill dwarf sorcerer.”

Sanjiv and Kashvi glance at each other and nod. “Sounds good to me,” Kashvi says. “We need a magic user.”

“Sorcerers don’t have a lot of hit points,” Logan adds.

I pin him with a glare. “Exactly, which is why I’m building mine to have dwarven toughness, a bonus to Constitution for a hit point bonus, plus a third hit point bonus as a sorcerer.”

I know I should look around the rest of the table to gauge their feelings about these choices, but I can’t pull my attention from Logan. He’s being so infuriatingly obnoxious that all I can think about is shutting him up. When he hears my character build, his expression changes from skeptical to surprised to impressed, the shift as obvious as it is intoxicating.

“I’m stacking to get as many hit points as possible so I can save the rest of the party later when the others can’t.” I lean back and cross my arms. “Or are you going to tell me that this build won’t be a help to the rest of the party? Because if so, we’ll all know you’re just arguing because you don’t want me here.”

He stares me down, but then the corner of his mouth lifts slightly, like he’s fighting not to smile.

“And the build has one more bonus now that I know you’re playing an elf,” I continue. “Being a dwarf will give me an excuse to fight with you since our races don’t naturally get along well.”

“You want to fight with me?”

“No, but it seems like you want to fight with me. This way the viewers will have some reasoning behind why we treat each other this way.”

I raise an eyebrow at him, although my heart is racing. I can’t believe I’m being so combative when I’m simultaneously so desperate to be included in this group, but what the hell is his problem? If he’s going to try to put me in my place, I have no issue doing the same to him. I don’t think being polite is going to get me far with this group.

He drops his gaze to the table and messes with the dice in front of him. “You know, group dynamics are important to us. Very important. If you can’t be a team player, then you shouldn’t be here.”

Sloane snorts. “What are you talking about? We fight all the time. That’s half the reason people watch us—so they can hear you all bickering about stupid things.”

“It wasn’t stupid. Just because someone rolls a Natural 20 on a skill check doesn’t mean they should automatically succeed at the skill—it depends on what the total is,” Sanjiv argues. “I’m right and the world needs to know.”

Kashvi rolls her eyes. “The epic Nat 20 debate. Will it never end?”

“We have rules,” Logan cuts in, and looks around the table at the rest of them. “And we’ve all agreed to abide by them. It’s what’s kept us together and successful for three years now.”

This sobers them up and they all nod, as if the mention of rules has brought them back to their senses. They all turn to study me.

Rather than being put off, the idea of rules actually appeals to me. I like the idea of being with people who care about the game and take it seriously.

“I’m fine with that,” I say. “What are the rules?”

“First—and most important—we don’t skip game sessions,” Sloane says immediately. “Ever.”

I nod. It’s not like I have a bunch of other plans that will fill my Saturdays…although my parents might have something to say about this. I’ll have to explain to them how serious this is.

“And you can’t be late or leave early,” Mark says. “It’s distracting and unprofessional to have people coming and going during a livestream.”

“Our lives basically revolve around this,” Sanjiv adds. “Everything else is second priority.”

“Okay, I should be able to do that.”

“And no messing around during the livestreams either,” Logan says, and something about his tone makes me want to stick my tongue out at him. I didn’t mind the others telling me the rules, but he makes it sound like I’ve already broken one. “We don’t have side conversations, play on our phones, or do anything to pull focus from the game. We should be totally immersed so that our viewers are immersed.”

I raise an eyebrow defiantly. “What if I have to pee? Can I break character for that?”

His mouth drops open, and he looks at Sanjiv for help. I can’t help laughing at his dumbfounded expression. I’m pretty sure people don’t leave him speechless much, and I’m already envisioning a character that’s going to do just that. Hopefully Sloane is telling the truth and bickering is allowed as long as we’re in character because I plan to give him so much crap.

“We try to pee before we start the game,” Sanjiv explains with an amused expression. “But feel free to bring a bucket if you think you’ll need it.”

“You’re really winning me over on this,” I reply. “Anything else I should know?”

They all exchange glances. Kashvi clears her throat. “I’m sure this won’t even come up, so it’s not a big deal, but…we have a strict no dating rule too.”

“You aren’t allowed to date if you’re in this group?” After Caden, I’m not exactly motivated to jump back into that pool, but this seems too extreme even for me.

“No, no, you can date!” Kashvi says. “Or else we would never get Sanjiv to stay in the group.”

He waggles his eyebrows.

“We just don’t date anyone in our group,” Sloane says. “Too many groups have broken up or gotten weird because of dating. Remember Wyatt?” They give Kashvi a pointed look.

She rolls her eyes. “In my defense, he was very cute, and how was I supposed to know he was so scared of commitment?”

“I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying the rule is there for a reason.” Sloane grins. “But believe me, you aren’t missing out on much by not dating these losers.”

Mark huffs. “I’ll have you know it’s a huge sacrifice to not date me. But it’s for the greater good.”

“You’d have to get in line for me, and it’s twenty girls deep nowadays,” Sanjiv adds.

Kashvi snorts. Logan is the only one to stay silent. When I look over, his eyes are on the table.

“No snarky comments from you?” I ask.

His eyes dart up to mine and my stomach flips over. “Not this time.”

For a moment I forget the annoying know-it-all in front of me and remember the boy I first saw from the passenger side of Grandma’s car. The one with kind eyes and a ready smile that made my pulse quicken. Is it possible that this rule is the reason he’s been so rude and reluctant to have me join—because it means we could never date?

But as soon as the thought enters my mind, I push it away. Honestly, we barely know each other, so it’s wildly arrogant to assume that’s the reason. More likely he’s just annoyed that I’m coming in and disrupting the group dynamics he’s gotten used to. It was clear from the livestream that Logan is the group leader, and he probably isn’t excited about change.

I roll my shoulders and turn away from him. The charming boy I met before this D&D game is gone, and I have no interest in the one sitting across from me now. But what I do want is a community. Friends.

“The rules sound fine to me,” I tell the group. “When do we start?”