Chapter Twenty-Three

My house is quiet and empty when I get back home. I’m grateful for the time by myself. I mess around in the kitchen, debating which snacks I might want, before ultimately deciding on nothing. The conversation from the game still circles in my mind, and my stomach is too filled with knots to want food.

The doorbell rings, but I ignore it. My parents barely answer the door, and I’m definitely not going to talk to strangers about switching internet providers. Instead, I grab my phone and head up to my room. Halfway up, my phone buzzes with a text.

Logan: I’m at the door.

My heart lodges in my throat. He’s here? I almost don’t want to see him, but my feet fly down the stairs nonetheless.

I find him hunched in the doorway. I back up so he can come in, my eyes raking over him even though I know I should stop. Especially after the conversation we all just had, I should be careful how I react to him, and yet I can’t stop the jump in my pulse when his eyes catch on mine.

He glances around. “Your house is nice. I wouldn’t know you just moved in.”

“Mom and Dad have done a ton of work since we got here. It’s coming together.”

“Are they here?”

“No. It’s just me.” I walk deeper into the house. “They must be with Grandma. They’re still trying to get her to agree to move, so they’ve set up a tour at a local retirement community.”

When he doesn’t follow, I glance over my shoulder to find him still and silent at the edge of the kitchen. He swallows and my eyes track his Adam’s apple. The weight of the knowledge that we’re alone in the house makes my skin hot and tight. We keep finding ourselves in these situations.

Well, more truthfully, we keep putting ourselves in them.

I rock on my heels. “So…what are you doing here, Logan?”

He pulls his beanie off his head and runs his fingers through his hair. I wish my hair looked like that after wearing Sloane’s hat. Mine is always a flat, staticky mess, but his falls in perfect, soft waves around his eyes.

“I don’t know exactly,” he says. “I was driving home, and I kept thinking about the game and, yeah, I wanted to talk to you. How are you feeling about it?”

I lean against the counter. “I mean, not great. It certainly didn’t go the way we were hoping.”

He grimaces and walks over. “No, it did not. I really hoped they’d be more flexible.”

I shrug. “It was bad timing with the chat.”

His expression tightens in anger. “If I ever run into Caden again—”

“You won’t do a thing.” I put my hand on his chest. “He’s not worth it. He’s just bitter. There’s no point talking to him.”

“I have no intentions of talking. Other things are still on the table.”

I shake my head, but secretly I love that he’s angry on my behalf. I like this protective side of Logan, even though I know it’s just making it harder.

“Did you know immediately that it wasn’t going to work out with him? Or did it take a while to realize?”

“Immediately—by the middle of the date I already had a sinking feeling. And by the end I was sure we had no future.”

“How’d you know so quickly?”

I bite the inside of my cheek, debating how much to say. I’ve told him a lot about Caden, but not this detail. This isn’t exactly the conversation I want to be having with him right now, but given everything going on between us, I guess he deserves to know.

“Because we kissed, and I felt nothing.”

Logan’s jaw works back and forth, and he nods gruffly.

I grin, surprised by his reaction. “What’s that face?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you jealous?”

His eyes flash at mine. “Would you blame me if I was?”

“Seriously, there’s nothing to be jealous of. That’s kind of the whole point.”

“He went on a date with you.” Logan steps closer to me. “He kissed you. I’d say there’s plenty to be jealous about.”

“Well, if you’re going to be jealous, then I’m allowed to be as well.” I lift my chin to him. We’re so close now that I’m practically vibrating. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t kissed other girls.”

Suddenly, his hands are on my hips and he’s lifting me so I’m sitting on the counter. He steps between my legs so that we’re only inches apart. “I haven’t kissed anyone in a long time. And I have no intention of changing that.”

“Not with anyone?” I whisper.

He puts a strand of hair behind my ear. “No one butyou.”

My heart soars for a moment before crashing back down. “Logan, you know this is impossible. I want…” My eyes graze over his face and I swallow. “I want this, whatever it is, but I don’t want to be the girl who puts our group or friendships in jeopardy.”

“I know.” He lays his hands on my knees and heat licks up my spine. “I don’t want to hurt the group either. But I also don’t want to give you up.”

I shake my head. “Impossible,” I whisper.

“Not forever,” he says. “They’ll come around. I know they will. We’ll just wait longer. Give the campaign another few months and then we’ll bring it back up.”

I shake my head. A few months ? That sounds like torture. And even then, there’s no guarantee the group will change their minds. Some people might get over it. I can’t imagine Mark will care too much. But Sanjiv seems to like the rule, and Sloane definitely does. I bite my lip, trying to think of an argument that could sway them.

Logan’s fingers tighten on my thighs. “What did I tell you about biting your lip when I’m with you? It’s like you want me to kiss you.”

Oh Lord, this boy. One word from him and every good intention flees my mind.

“It is very much like that, isn’t it?” I say softly.

He leans closer—dangerously close—and I can’t bring myself to pull away or stop him. Everything inside me wants to grab him by the collar of his flannel shirt and draw him to me. His eyes darken, but then he clenches his jaw, lifts his hands in surrender, and pulls away from me.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”

“I’m glad you did.”

He puts a hand gently back on my knee. “We’ll figure it out,” he says, his thumb rubbing small circles.

“What the hell is going on?”

Logan and I both jump. Andrew stands at the foot of the stairs, glaring daggers at Logan.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, and drop down from the counter.

“Coach got sick and canceled so I came home early.” He raises an eyebrow. “Guess you thought you’d have a little fun while the house is empty?”

I roll my eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Logan just came over to talk for a second.” I gesture to my brother. “You remember Andrew?”

“What’s up, man?” Logan says.

Andrew doesn’t return the greeting. “It sure looked like you two were doing a lot of talking.” He side-eyes Logan.

What exactly is happening right now? Andrew never cared before if I was dating someone.

He leans against the pantry door and crosses his arms over his chest. “How was your D he was doing it for Kashvi. I’d almost be impressed that he was trying to learn about her interests if I weren’t absolutely horrified at the idea of my little brother wanting to make out with my closest friend.

“The game wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be,” he says begrudgingly.

“You’re full of surprises today.”

I take him in, an idea coming to me. He did watch my livestream, which is more than I’d ever expect of him. Maybe I should make more of an effort to do things with him too.

“Would you want to try hanging out sometime?” I ask. “Maybe playing a game of pickleball at the rec center? I promise you’ll crush me at it.”

“The weird sport Grandma plays? Yeah, no. You aren’t the worst sister in the world, but I have my limits.” He pushes away from the counter and heads upstairs without a backward glance.

Good to know he’s still my charming little brother.