CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO TABATHA

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

TABATHA

My skin tingles and my heart races. His hands on my back and his lips on mine…I close my eyes and I allow him control over my lips. My body pushes into his, and my hands find their way to his bare chest.

His lips pull away from mine, and they travel down to my neck. "Jake…" I breathe, my head foggy.

His breath lands on my neck. "I love the way you breathe my name," he whispers, sending shivers down my neck. "Say it again."

"Dash…" My eyes spring open, and I shove him away. "Oh, my God." I gasp.

"Tabatha…" Jake holds his hands up in the air.

"What were you doing?" I demand. What the hell was I doing?

"It's okay that you accidentally called me Dash. I know you guys are over…"

"You know nothing," I scream at him as I jump off the bathroom countertop. My ankle gives out, and I find myself sprawled out on the bathroom floor cussing myself. Why did I call him Dash? He kisses nothing like Dash. Why did I even allow him to kiss me in the first place? Tears start to well up in my eyes. I blink a few times.

He reaches down to help me up, and I shove his hand away. "Don't touch me," I snap as I find my way to stand.

"Tabatha. Calm down. It was just a kiss."

"A kiss?" I squeal. I wanna bang my head up against the wall. That's all it was, yes. But what made him think he could kiss me? Was I flirting? Was I acting like some cheap whore? "Just how far would that kiss have gone?" I demand as I bend over and pick up my heels. I knew this was a bad idea. I should have never come out here tonight. We've been here for a few hours, I've had plenty of drinks, and somehow I find myself in the bathroom with Jake. I've become an alcoholic whore. Oh, just give Tabatha some drinks, and she'll let you fuck her. "Jesus," I chide myself.

"Are you asking at what point I would have stopped you?" His voice shows no anger like mine. Just pure curiosity.

"Yes." I hop on one foot as I put my other in my heel still trying to hold back the tears.

"I wouldn't have," he says simply.

I stop jumping around and stare at him wide-eyed. "You would have slept with me?" Before he can even answer, I continue. "How could you? You're friends with Dash." I run my hands through my messy hair. It's in tangles; some drunk bitch placed her sucker in my hair. Don't ask me how it happened because no one knows the answer.

He sighs heavily. "Dash is not good for you."

"And you are?" I demand. I can't believe he is saying this. I can't believe I am listening to it.

"I would treat you better," he says matter-of-fact. "If you were mine, I sure as hell wouldn't be chasing after other girls."

Other girls? Is Dash seeing someone else now? So soon? I shake my head as I look down at my feet. Of course, he is. He's a man who laid his heart out to me, and I stomped on it. "Don't pretend like you know what happened to us," I decide to say. He doesn't know anything about our relationship. I'm the one who walked out on him. I take a step up to Jake, and I hate that a tear runs down my cheek. It's not one of those tears of sadness, but anger. I am so angry at myself, at Jake, and at Dash. I hate the fact that I feel guilty that Jake kissed me when I just found out that Dash is seeing other people.

"You're beautiful, Tabatha." His words are spoken softly, and his hand comes up to wipe the tear from my cheek. "But you're not the girl who is going to change Dash's ways."

"Just shut up," I order as I rip his shirt off and pick mine up off the floor. It's still soaked in alcohol from another drunk idiot. Fuck, this was just not my night.

I storm out of the bathroom with my soaked shirt on, and as soon as I enter the kitchen, I start yelling for Jackie. She spins around to look at me, and I take a deep breath. "I'm ready to go."

Blake frowns. "Go?"

"Yes!" I yell causing everyone to stare at me awkwardly. "I'm ready to fucking go." And then I spin around and start for the front door.

As I'm running down the stairs to the house, I hear the front door swing open. "What happened?" Jackie asks.

"Jackie, I can take her…"

"No!" I shout as I spin around to face Jake. "I don't want to be around you. I just want Jackie to take me home. Now!" I demand.

He sighs heavily as he digs into his pocket of his pants and pulls out the keys to his Range Rover. He tosses them to Jackie, and she automatically unlocks it for me. You would think that I would eventually learn to start driving myself.

"Are you okay?" she asks as she climbs behind the driver's seat.

"I'll explain in a minute," I say as I dig through my purse looking for my cell phone. I go to Dash's number saved in my phone and press send. Hey, you've reached Dash. Leave a message. I hang up and try again. Same.

"Fuck!" I say as I throw my phone down into the floorboard. I start rocking back and forth.

Jackie looks over to me quickly and I rub my face with my hands. "Are you having some sort of breakdown?"

"Jake kissed me," I blurt out.

"What?" she demands. "Like on the mouth?"

"What are we in grade school? Yes, on the mouth. With tongue. And I kissed him back."

"Oh." She mouths as she watches the road.

"And now Dash won't answer his phone." I wrap my arms around myself.

"Why are you calling Dash? Don't tell him what you did." She speaks frantically.

"I just need to talk to him." I know why I couldn't tell him how I felt, but now I realize that I need to. He may tell me to go to hell. He may turn me down the way I did, but at least then I know that I tried. I told him how I truly felt and he can make the decision. I don't want anyone else. I want him.