CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT TABATHA

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

TABATHA

I sit in the same spot as when my father left. I didn't want Dash to come up here, but I had overheard my father call him. I knew he was on his way but even that twenty minutes didn't give me any time to prepare myself. Especially after the night that I have had. My ex-boyfriend wanted me to be his personal slave in order to save the man I loved from future harm. And the guy that I want to be my boyfriend told me that he loved me and I turned him down like watering down a flame. It's over. Whatever Dash and I could have had is now over. I can't just tell him I'm sorry and that I love him. Things have changed too much for that. Hell, for all I know, he went back to Valerie last night. Who could blame him for that? I'm sure she had been throwing herself at him. He had even admitted that she had been naked and he kissed her. I know he was hurt from my rejection. Who wouldn't go seek out some love? Even if that love was only physical.

"Tabatha?"

I look over my shoulder to see Blake standing there with a guy who I've never seen standing next to him. "Hey, Blake," I say softly not wanting to aggravate my pounding headache. The pain pills the doctor gave me are starting to wear off.

"Oh, my God," he says as his eyes widen. He walks up to me and kneels down beside my chair. "What in the hell happened to you?" He reaches up and tilts my face to the side to give him a better view of my bruised face. "Did Rodger do this to you?"

"I'm fine," I say, gently pulling away from him. I don't wanna be that girl. The girl who others pity. The girl who others talk about behind her back. How could she allow him to do that to her? I finally stood up for myself, and it felt good.

"Where was Jackie?" he asks frowning. "I thought she was with you?" He starts to look around the busy police station.

I drop my head down and look at my hands in my lap. "I've been trying to call her..." he continues.

"She's here," I inform him. She hasn't left my side since the police left my hospital room. But eventually nature called. "She's in the restroom." Before the words even finish leaving my mouth, he takes off in a mad dash toward the bathroom.

I thank God for allowing me a second of silence. I need to think of what I'll say to Dash, if anything. Maybe he will make it easy on me and just ignore me. I would ignore me.

The seat that my father was occupying next to me is pulled back and I see a person fall into it from out of the corner of my eye. "I…." I pause when I see it's not my father. Soft blue eyes look deeply into mine. A sharp jaw twitches as his eyes stray from mine and seek out the stitches on my face and then the cut on my lip. "Excuse you?" I ask cautiously. The police officer had said that I needed to talk to a detective; maybe this is the guy.

"Hi. Tabatha, is it?" He reaches out his right hand. "Jake."

I sigh heavily. "Are you the detective?" I ask not bothering to shake his hand. I'm really not in the mood for courtesy. They keep asking me if I'm comfortable, and I wanna stab them with a pen and scream that no I'm not. But that would probably get me locked up in a padded room and then Rodger would win. And I continue to tell myself that won't happen. I didn't get my ass kicked last night to give up this morning.

"No," he says slowly.

"Unless you're a police officer, I don't wanna talk to you," I say looking away from him.

He chuckles to himself. "I knew I should have gone into the force."

I turn back to look at him. Is he flirting? "Who are you?" I ask letting curiosity get the best of me. He did know my name.

He's pretty. The type of guy who looks too pretty, yet he looks like he's a mess at the same time. His dark gray shirt fits tightly showing off his hard chest and muscular arms. His big hands sit on his thighs as his legs hang loosely open as if he has this fuck off nature about him. The type of person I used to be. I wish I could find that Tabatha again. The last time I allowed her to come out, I had a one-night stand with Dash. Look how well that turned out.

"Jake," he says again. "I'm Blake's big brother."

"Jake and Blake?" I mumble to myself, but he hears me.

He laughs once again. "Our parents weren't all that creative."

"I didn't know he had a big brother," I say truthfully. He goes to speak, but I beat him to it. "I'm seriously not in the best of moods. I really just need to be alone right now." Before he can respond, I get up and walk away from him. I make my way to the front doors, wanting some fresh air, but see my father and Dash standing on the other side of them. Dash's hands fly around in the air as he speaks quickly, and my father hangs his head as if he's trying to calm his anger.

I spin around and walk away quickly, not wanting them to see me. I don't want to explain things to Dash. The wounds he has caused me hurt more than the cuts on my face that required stitches.

I walk until I find a quiet hallway. A bench sits up against the far wall. I plop down on it and place my head in my hands. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Do you ever think back and regret every decision you have ever made? Do you regret the person that you allowed yourself to fall in love with? I regret that I ever allowed myself to feel anything for Rodger. He wasn't the right kind of guy for me. I also regret that I ever got in bed with Dash. He is not the type of guy who settles down. Hell, he kissed Valerie, and then twenty minutes later, he told me that he loved me. Who does that? A man who doesn't know what he wants, that's who. A man who is keeping his options open.

"Tabatha."

My head shoots up, and I stand quickly when I hear my name called by the last man that I want to see. Rodger's father stands before me in his perfect black suit and red tie. Just looking at him, you can tell he's wealthy. From the smell of his expensive aftershave and the way his dark eyes stare at you. They always unnerved me. It's like they are looking into your soul. As if they are trying to suck the life out of you. It's sad, really; if you were to just see him passing on the streets, then you would think that he is good looking. His square jaw is mouthwatering and intimidating at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" My words come out in a rush, and he smiles at me, as if he can hear the concern in my voice. I straighten my shoulders and take in a deep breath and the smile drops off his face. He hates when women show any kind of power. Or any kind of happiness, for that matter.

He places his hands in the front pockets of his black dress pants, and it causes his chest to bow out even more. "I came to bond my son out of jail." If he's angry with Rodger, his voice doesn't show it. Rodger had woken in the hospital and only had minor injuries. He was taken in, but obviously, he won't be staying long.

"And what? You want to me apologize?" I say placing a hand on my hip.

"I…"

"You're wasting your breath with me." I interrupt him, and his eyes narrow on me. No woman interrupts him. "I won't give him shit." By the time I finish saying those five words, I'm breathing heavy. My heart is racing, and my hands are sweaty.

"Are you finished?" his deep voice demands. I just nod. I've already said too much. "I was going to tell you that you will not have to worry about Rodger anymore."

"I won't?" I ask with surprise.

"No. He has embarrassed me and our family enough over something that's not worth his time." He wrinkles his nose as he looks me up and down. I know I look like a mess. I have yet to shower. I probably still smell like the club along with the sweaty men I danced with and then my fighting with Rodger. I look absolutely awful and feel just as bad.

"Not worth his time?" I ask taking a step toward him. He makes no move but looks down at me as if I'm a bug he wants to smash under his shiny black shoes. "Maybe he's not worth my time. Maybe if he would have left me alone like I told him to do, then he wouldn't have been arrested," I shoot back, finding my anger. I lift my right hand and shove my finger into his chest. "You treat that man as if he can walk all over women. And I assure you that I'm not the one for him to fuck with."

Once I realize what I just did, my body wants to cower to him. To take a step back and crawl under the bench I was sitting on, but I don't. I stand tall. I'm tired of men making me want to be someone who I'm not. My father raised me to be a powerful woman and to know right from wrong. And what the men in his family do is wrong.

He stands tall with his hands still in his pants pocket. His eyes fall from mine and they look down my exposed legs that this short dress puts on show. Then his eyes lift up to my messy hair. I have the urgency to run. I hate the way he looks at women. As if he's waiting for them to serve him dinner and then lie flat on their backs waiting for him to service them.

"It's a shame, really," he says with a sigh. "My son had no idea what he had." He pulls his left hand out of his pocket and reaches up grabbing a lock of my hair. I hold my breath in true fear. He leans down and whispers into my ear, "I could break you. Easily. The confidence that you think you have is nothing but your fear. But I'm in no mood to do my son's dirty work." He pulls back, and I stare at him with big eyes. "My son is arrogant and immature. But he will learn. I was right when I told him to walk away from you. That you would destroy him. You were a good learning experience for him, and I appreciate that." He actually gives me a smile. "I give you my word. You will not have to worry about him ever again."

"Your word?" I breathe. "Why should I trust your word?"

His smile widens. "Because my word is the truth."

Arrogant son of a bitch. He then turns around and walks away. Just like that.

I fall on my bench once again and close my eyes as I fist my sweaty hands in my lap. Although that man scares me, I know that what he just said is true. I will never have to worry about Rodger again. That's one problem dealt with. But I still have Dash…

I hear a pair of shoes coming down the hall this time, and I open my eyes to see the devil himself as he comes to stand in front of me. He looks as bad as I do. And I hate how much it makes me feel for him. His long, shaggy hair is messy and standing every which way. His gray eyes are red and puffy. His beautiful lips are frowning. He actually looks sad. As if he regrets something. As if he made a mistake. Well, get in line, buddy. He might regret kissing Valerie, but I regret ever sleeping with him. I regret that he made me fall for him. I regret that I wasn't strong enough to walk away when I saw him in my father's house the morning after I slept with him. He was a stranger.

His face starts to harden, and his gray eyes narrow as they search my face. He looks at me as if he just realizes what my night has consisted of. A physical fight with Rodger. Whereas, I'm sure he got drunk and laid.

I actually throw my head back and laugh out loud. I laugh so hard my body shakes, and it feels good. I lift my head and look up at him as he stares at me with those beautiful gray eyes. They look hard as I watch his eyes follow the line of the stitches that are on my face once again.

I throw my hand up as I continue to laugh. He frowns when I snort, and it makes me laugh even harder. "Sorry…" I try to calm my laughter; it makes my aching body hurt, but it feels so good to laugh. "But this is just too funny."

"Your ex-boyfriend beating the shit out of you is funny?" he questions. "I don't see how that can be funny."

My laughter dies immediately. Instead of standing, I lean back against the bench and cross one leg over the other. His eyes quickly scan my bare legs, and I feel my body heat start to rise. No! Don't go there, Tabatha. You regret ever sleeping with him, remember? "No, the fact that you keep showing up is what I think is funny. The fact that you think I wanna talk to you is funny." Oh, good one. Make him buy it.

"You wanna talk about funny?" he asks raising his voice. "I have woken up to you running away. Not only once, but twice. What the hell is your problem?" I take a deep breath that makes my chest rise. Is he really gonna do this? "And why was Rodger there after I happen to leave?" Oh, he's going all the way. "Huh? Did you call him to tell him how bad I hurt you?" My mouth drops open. "Did you ask him to come over and kiss your wounds?" he shouts.

I stand and shove my hands into his chest pushing him backward. "Don't you dare accuse me of something you know nothing about," I shout back. "You were the one who had just been drunk and with your ex moments before. And you kissed her." I do air quotes around kissed. "Who knows what else you did with her."

"I was just doing what your father told me to do. Get information," he says matter-of-fact with a wave of his hand.

"Oh? And he told you to stick your tongue down her throat?" I demand.

"No. His exact words were to do whatever I had to do in order to get the information that we needed."

"Lies." I spin around giving him back for a second before I turn back to face him with my hands clenched down at my sides. "All you do is lie," I yell.

"And all you do is run away," he sneers in my face. "Not all of us are as heartless as you and can just turn our backs on others at any given moment."

I feel the tears start to sting my eyes, and I blink them away. He truly hates me now, but this is not the time to fall apart. After everything I've been through tonight, I can keep it together for just a little longer. I swallow the knot in my throat and lick my dry lips. "Well, you made it pretty damn easy," I lie. He hasn't made anything about us easy. It's so damn hard to stand here and be a bitch to him. My legs are tired, and I would give anything for him to pick me up and hold me in his arms. But that ship has sailed. "But I sure as hell can't stand the fact that you keep coming around." Stay strong, Tabatha. Don't apologize; you can't take those words back now no matter how big of a lie it was.

I expect him to yell in my face for what I said. For him to shoot the hurtful words right back. But instead, his hard eyes look me up and down, and he snorts as he shakes his head. That hurts worse than any words could. He looked at me as if I was nothing.

He runs his hand through his shaggy brown hair and speaks. "Well, I'll make something else easier for you. I quit."

I look down the hall and spot my father, and he hangs his head. I know immediately what he means. He quit the team. "Dash…?" I reach out for him, but he pushes me away and walks off.

He has to push his way through my father, Blake and his brother, and two police officers as they stand there staring at us. Who knew we had an audience?

"Dash? Man…" Blake calls out after him before he takes off to follow him.

I straighten my shoulders and push down my short dress as I avoid their eyes. As I try to walk away with some dignity left. Which, let's face it, I have none.

"Sweet pea…" my father starts in on me.

I raise my hand to stop him. "Please save the lecture for later, Daddy," I ask, still trying to hold in my tears. "I just wanna go home." I look over at the officer who looks surprised by my fight with Dash. "Am I done here?"

"Yes, ma'am," he says with a head nod, and I don't wait. I walk through the hallway to the front doors and shove them open. I take the front steps two at a time and almost fall flat on my face once I realize I'm still in heels. I stop in the parking lot once I realize I didn't drive. "Shit," I curse out loud. I reach into my clutch to call Jackie, but she comes running out the front door of the police station and rushes down the stairs. "Sorry," she says, as she passes me. "Come on. I'll take you home."

I shake my head quickly. "No." I sniff and quickly brush the tears from my face. "I don't wanna go there." I don't wanna be in that house alone.

"Wanna come stay with me?" she asks with a small smile.

"Thanks, but will you take me to my parents' house?" I question, wrapping my arms around myself. I can lock myself in my room and be left alone there, but not really be alone. If that makes sense.

She nods her head and continues to walk to her car.

I thank her as we pull up to my parents' house and I make my way into the house. I shut the door quietly and walk down the long hallway that passes my father's office. Then up the stairs before walking into my bedroom. I shut the door. I kick off my heels and leave them where they fall to the floor. I continue to walk through my bedroom and into my attached bathroom as I reach down and grab the hem of my dress. I rip it off and hiss in a breath as I get an ache in my side. I avoid the mirror as I turn on the bathtub and pour some bubbles into it. I remove my panties and bra and then place my hair up in a high clippie to get it out of my way. I get into the tub and very slowly lower my body into the hot water. I close my eyes and allow myself to relax, even though my back stings from the carpet burn I got. Today could have been very different if I had given in to Rodger. I don't know what he and I would be doing right now, but I do know that it wasn't all bad. He wasn't always bossing me around. There were times that he was very sweet. But there were just times where he would just give me this look, as if he was about to lay his hands on me. I had never been in that type of relationship before, and it was terrifying. Therefore, I did whatever he wanted me to do.

I sigh heavily as I lower more of my body into the scalding water and try to clear my head. I don't wanna think about Rodger. As scary as his father is, I believed him when he said I had seen the last of Rodger. Their family hates defeat and the fact that he got himself arrested is just unacceptable. Plus, it was all over the news. I had seen the headlines on the news when I was in the hospital. Public humiliation is another thing he can check off because of me.

I place my hands in the water, pushing away the bubbles to cup some water in my hands. I splash my face with it and then my hands drop to the water again. I really don't wanna think about Dash either, but what he said keeps going through my mind. I was just doing what I was told. I don't believe that. Why should I? He's lied several times to me now, and I hate to be taken advantage of. I refuse to be that woman who is with a man and is blind to everything he is doing wrong when the rest of the town knows. If he had been honest and upfront about what was going on, then maybe this could be something that we could work through. But even thinking that sounds crazy.

Then he told me he quit. He quit his dream because of me. God, that makes me feel fucking low. Has anyone ever given up a dream for you? It hurts to know that you took something from someone that they wanted before you were ever even in their life. Now I'll never see him again. A part of me was thankful that I would still see Dash at the races and around my parents' house every now and then. Now, he's gone for good.

I sigh heavily as I close my eyes tightly and wrap my arms around myself. My life is officially over. I filed a restraining order tonight up at the police station, which I think means that I can't go to school tomorrow. I doubt Rodger will be there, but I sure as hell don't even want to risk it. I feel like my life has officially taken a turn for the worse.

I jump back and water splashes over the side of the tub and onto the tile of the floor when my bathroom door comes flying open.

"Oh, my God," my mother says dramatically as she comes tearing into my bathroom. She falls to her knees by my tub as her hands reach out and grab the side of my head. She kneels in a puddle of water in her three thousand dollar suit.

"Mom," I say breathlessly, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. "You just scared the shit out of me," I say as my chest rises and falls quickly. "What are you doing here?" I ask trying to cover my chest.

Her brown brows pull together and her beautiful lips turn down into a pout. "Why wouldn't I be here?" she questions softly. "Your father called me when he was on the way to meet you at the hospital. I told him to send me the jet."

I drop my eyes to what's left of my bubbles in my water, which I lost half of when I shifted so quickly. "You shouldn't have come home, Mom. I'm okay."

"Bunny…" She calls me by my childhood nickname, which tells me just how upset she truly is. "How can you say that?" She removes her hand from the side of my head and gently runs her fingertip over the stitches placed above my eyebrow. I flinch even though it didn't hurt.

She leans back on her heels and lowers her hands to her lap. "I just don't understand," she says softly. "I thought you were happy with him? Was he…Had he been hurting you this entire time?" Her bottom lip starts to tremble, and I hate that my mom and I aren't closer. I love her to death, but I have always been a daddy's girl. Mainly because my mother was always the one to tell me that I couldn't do something. My father only knew the word yes.

"No," I lie, and she lets out a long breath as if she doesn't believe me. "It wasn't all bad," I try to reassure her. "I…we…" I shake my head. "I think he only hurt me because of Dash," I say, trying to explain it to her without telling her too much about my and Rodger's relationship. But Dash, I'll tell her everything about him.

"Your father filled me in on him as well. And I think we need to talk about him as well," she says, straightening her back and hardening her beautiful features. She's giving me her business face. And I understand why. Dash rides for my father. Well, did. I just cost them their prized racer.

She stands, and I can't help but laugh at the water that drenches her pants from where she kneeled in it on my floor. She looks down and lets out a little laugh, too. "Finish up in here and then come down to talk to me." She leans over and gives me a soft kiss on my temple then turns and walks out, closing the door behind her.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I place my face under the water.

***

After finishing up, I got dressed in a pair of comfy shorts and a tank top. I make my way down the stairs and into the long hallway. I peek into my father's office to see if he's in there, but it's empty. I continue down the hallway and hear my mother in the kitchen. I walk in and sit down at the table when she turns around and sees me. She smiles as she walks over and sets down a cup. I look down into it, and it looks nothing like coffee. I frown.

"It's wine," she says, sitting down across from me with a cup of her own.

"In a coffee cup?" I ask.

She shrugs. "We don't have a wine glass big enough to accommodate the kind of day you have had," she says simply, and I agree with her. No amount of wine could fix what happened last night.

"Where's Dad?" I ask as I lift the cup and take a sip.

"The police station."

"Why?"

She sets her cup down and leans back in her chair getting comfortable. "He's still up there with Erik. Guess he had to give a statement and is pressing charges against Rodger. And your father informed me that he had some begging to do." I guess she means my father needing to get Dash back on the team.

It's so weird to hear my mom call him Erik. As if she's talking about someone I don't know. But how well do I really know Dash?

"Tabatha?"

I look back up at her and she gives me a soft smile. "You love him." It's not a question.

"I don't know him." I tell her how I feel.

"You don't need to know someone to love them," she says with a shrug. "I loved your father before I knew him."

"That sounds crazy when you say it like that." How can you love someone you don't know?

"I met your father at a young age," she starts. "He was so attractive," she says with a smile, and it causes me to smile. It's crazy how much they love one another after all this time. Yes, they are both very busy with their careers and everyday life, but they always make time for one another.

I wrap my hand around the cool coffee cup and speak. "What you speak of is lust. Not love, mother."

She tilts to her head in confusion "How so?"

"You don't just fall in love with someone by the way they look." I roll my eyes.

She chuckles. "I agree. He may have been attractive, but that wasn't why I fell in love with him."

"But you said…"

"I fell in love with him because of the way he made me feel. Not my feelings toward him, but my feelings toward myself. I lit up when he walked into a room. I had a smile on my face that wouldn't go away. My skin would tingle whenever he would look at me." Her eyes drop to the cut on my lip, and I lick it nervously. Her eyes meet mine once again, and she continues. "I loved myself first. I fell in love with the person who I was when he was around. And in loving myself, I fell in love with him."

"I wish it was that easy," I say, and she sits quietly, waiting for me to fill her in. "I fell for Rodger fast and look where that got me?" I chuckle to myself, but she stays quiet.

"You have a big heart."

"No, I'm just stupid."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Mom…" I throw my hands out to my side. "Rodger was an awful person, and I didn't even see it until it was too late."

"I hate that he hurt you." She reaches up and wipes a single tear from her cheek. "But you fought to get away. You know what you deserve and you're not gonna settle for less. This Erik boy… maybe he is the one."

"How is Dash any better than Rodger?" I question. "He has lied to me, Mom. More than once. I can't trust him."

"Maybe he can't trust himself," she offers.

"What does that even mean?" I ask placing my elbow on the table and dropping my head into my hand. I'm starting to get a headache, and I'm exhausted.

I hear the legs of her chair scoot across the tile floor and her heels clink as she walks into the kitchen. I still have my head down and stare at the table when she returns to my side. She places a pill bottle in front of me and runs her hand over the back of my hair. "It means that maybe he doesn't trust the person you make him want to be. People experience love in different ways, baby. Rodger changed you," she declares, and I look up to her as she stands beside me, "in a way where you lost yourself. I can see it now. I didn't before." She frowns. "And that's my fault. I wasn't looking close enough. And I apologize." She never saw it because he kept me from them. And I allowed that. It's my fault, not hers. "Maybe Erik doesn't understand what you make him feel." She leans down and kisses my hair. "Give love a chance. It doesn't matter if your heart breaks a hundred times. You'll eventually open your heart to that one person who makes all that pain go away. It'll be that one love that's worth it." She takes the coffee cup that is filled with wine from me and pushes the pill bottle closer to me. "Take this antibiotic and pain pill. It helps more than wine."