5. Phoebe

5

PHOEBE

"T his time the cave is set on maximum difficulty, Jenkins," Sirex informed her as Phoebe stood in front of the dark opening and prepared to go in. "You're going to see and feel things you've never seen before—it's going to test you to the limits of your abilities. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I can be, Sir." Phoebe lifted her chin. "As long as I have you in my ear, I'll be all right."

"I'll be there for you." Sirex put a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "I'm proud of you, you know. You've come a long way since that first day when I had to ask you to drop and give me fifty."

Phoebe's heart swelled with her mentor's praise. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees in front of him and submit in any and every way he wanted. She had read in her romance books that this was called "going into sub-space" and she had to actively fight against it, especially when Sirex praised her or, strangely, when he was especially strict with her. It seemed like she just couldn't win—she wanted to submit to him no matter what!

Making an effort, she cleared her mind of her secret fantasies and started into the cave.

"I'm here with you," she heard Sirex murmur in her ear. "Walk forward for ten steps…"

"Yes, Sir," she replied and began what, by now, was the familiar trek through the cave-like training tunnel.

Except nothing was familiar this time. Instead of a mostly wide-open area, the space inside the tunnel seemed to have been compressed.

"Turn to the side and edge to the left. Be careful, there's a wall just two inches from your face," Sirex told her. And, "You'll have to bend down low, there's a barrier above you that extends for quite a way."

It was a test of her balancing skills—which were generally excellent. But Phoebe soon realized it was also a test of her claustrophobia—which was moderate to severe. She really didn't like tight spaces, but she knew that as an agent in the field, she might get into some situations where she was required to hide in a small or tight area. So she made herself go on, despite feeling like she wanted to scream inside the whole time.

The cave was throwing jump-scares at her too. Skeletons and monsters were around every corner. Even though she was expecting them, Phoebe's heart was still in her throat every time one popped out in front of her. She gave a few little gasps, but she managed to choke back her screams, mindful of the fact that her mentor could hear everything she said and did.

It was difficult to hold back though. Somehow the illusions the cave was showing her seemed more real than ever before. She could even swear that she felt them brushing against her as she passed through or around them. It was a cold, slimy touch that Phoebe didn't like one bit.

Then, just as she was sure this was the longest maze the training tunnel had ever put her through, she saw something up ahead that made her heart stutter in her chest.

It was a spider web—a giant one. It was glowing faintly in the pitch blackness and even moving slightly in the breeze that blew through the tunnel. It was right in her path, stretching from wall to wall and completely blocking the way forward.

Phoebe stopped in her tracks. The damn thing looked so real.

"Jenkins? Are you all right? Why have you stopped moving?" Sirex asked in her ear.

"Er, no reason." Phoebe cleared her throat. "Moving forward now."

"Good. Eight steps forward. You're almost to the end."

That got her going again. Squaring her shoulders, she moved confidently ahead, counting as she went.

One…two…It's all right—it's going to disappear when I get closer to it, she told herself. Three…four… Or if it doesn't, it will dissipate once I get through it.

But the enormous spider web didn't disappear and it didn't seem to be getting any more transparent as she moved towards it. In fact, if anything, it seemed more real.

Still, Phoebe refused to let herself freak out. She didn't know how the cave had figured out that she had severe arachnophobia, but at least it was only showing her a giant web— not a giant spider. The web she could deal with.

Seven, eight. She stopped and put out a hand, expecting it to pass right through the glowing strands of the giant web. Instead, something that she didn't expect happened—she could actually feel the web. It was cold and slimy and sticky at the same time.

"Eww!" she exclaimed involuntarily and yanked her hand back. Or tried to anyway, because the sticky glowing strands didn't want to let go of her.

Feeling the first stirrings of panic, Phoebe pulled harder. The strands of spider web wrapped around her hand pulled with her, as stretchy as rubber bands, but they didn't break and they didn't release her fingers.

More upset than ever, Phoebe tried to punch through the web instead…but she only succeeded in getting her whole arm stuck in the gluey threads. And that was when she saw it.

It was a slight movement above her head that caught her eye first—a wavering of the web as though something huge had stepped onto it and caused it to ripple.

Phoebe didn't want to look…but she couldn't bear not to. She had to know the worst. She had to?—

The thought was erased from her mind as the giant spider came into view. Its long legs were massive and its hairy body was bigger than her own torso—hell, it was bigger than Sirex's torso! Which reminded her that it had been a minute since she'd heard her mentor's voice in her ear. Was he seeing this? If so, why wasn't he saying anything?

"Sir?" she called, putting her free hand to the earpiece and trying to keep the panic out of her voice. "Sir, can you hear me? Please answer!"

But there was nothing but silence from the other end of the earpiece.

Feeling like she might faint from sheer terror, Phoebe tried to pull her arm free again, but the movement of the web sent the spider scuttling towards her, its many eyes glowing and its mandibles clicking…

Phoebe lost it. Screaming and gasping she collapsed on the floor, pulling with all her might to try and get free of the sticky web before the monstrous arachnid could get to her. But try as she might, she couldn't get loose. Then, horribly, the spider was there, shoving its clicking mandibles right in her face as she screamed and screamed…

"Phoebe? Phoebe!"

Suddenly warm, muscular arms were enfolding her and the enormous spider melted away to nothing. For the first time since she had started going through the training cave, Phoebe saw light streaming into it.

But nothing could stop the tears of panic and trauma from coming. As Sirex gathered her into his arms and held her tight to his chest, she wept inconsolably. The terror had been too much to bear—it had overloaded her system and now she found she just couldn't stop crying.

Sirex didn't try to stop her from weeping. He only held her tightly in his arms, rubbing her back and shoulders and murmuring soothing nothings in her ear.

"All right, baby…it's all right now. I'm here. I'm here for you," he rumbled as he cradled her to him.

At last her mentor's spicy scent and the warmth of his big body cut through the panic and fear and Phoebe found herself relaxing. But fear was followed closely by anger.

"Yes, y-you're here n-now!" she got out, still half sobbing but trying to talk at the same time. "Wh-where were you when I n-needed you? Why didn't you t-talk to me?"

"I'm so sorry, baby." There was honest remorse in his burning red eyes. "I don't know what happened. I lost contact with you for the last thirty seconds or so—I didn't know anything was wrong until I heard you screaming."

Phoebe felt her soul wither with humiliation. Screaming—oh God, she'd been screaming . Probably all the other cadets who were waiting their turn to go into the training tunnel had heard her too. And worse even than that, her mentor had been forced to stop the tunnel's simulation and come in to rescue her because she had gotten hysterical!

What must he think of me now? I look so weak—so helpless.

It fed into every fear she had—and every lie she wanted to refute about herself. She couldn't help remembering the derisive looks and put-downs she'd endured from the male officers in the PD where she'd worked. The snide comments about how women didn't make good police because they were too emotional—too weak.

"Excuse me." Phoebe struggled to get up but Sirex kept her in his lap, his long arms locked around her as he searched her tear-stained face with concern.

"Are you sure you're ready to get up?" he rumbled. "You can stay here with me a little longer…if you want to."

Under other circumstances his words would have made her melt. Now they just made her cringe with embarrassment.

"Yes, I'm fine now. Honestly, just fine." She swiped at her eyes, still stinging with tears. God, how could she have been so stupid? But the spider had looked so real and it was right in her face…

Stop making excuses for your sorry performance, she scolded herself. Get up right now and start acting like a grown-ass woman instead of a little girl who fell off her bike and skinned her knee!

She tried again to get up and this time Sirex let her. He rose smoothly to stand beside her as Phoebe swiped at her eyes again and straightened her uniform shirt and trousers.

"All right." She turned to look at him, trying to meet his eyes. "I…I'm ready. Let's do it again."

"Do it again?" He frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this—the damn tunnel." She gestured to the cave around them, which didn't look nearly so scary now that light was streaming into it. "Let's go back to the beginning and reset it."

But Sirex frowned and shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. You need to rest—whatever you saw traumatized you."

"It was a big ass spider—bigger than you, if you really want to know," Phoebe snapped. "But I'm not afraid of it anymore." She lifted her chin. "I'm not going to let this damn cave beat me!"

"It hasn't beaten you—I believe there's something wrong with it," Sirex said. "Until I find out what that is, I don't want you or anyone else attempting it again."

"But—" Phoebe began impatiently.

"Go back to your suite and get some rest, cadet." His deep voice began sharp and clipped. "That's a direct order. Am I understood?"

Phoebe wanted to protest—wanted to prove to him that she wasn't weak or girly or hysterical. But the burning light in his red-on-black eyes let her know that her mentor wasn't going to tolerate any backtalk or sass.

Feeling frustrated beyond measure, she clenched her hands into fists at her sides and nodded respectfully.

"Yes, Sir," she said tersely. "Understood."

"Good. Now go." His clipped tone brooked no dissent.

Feeling defeated and lost in a way she hadn't since she'd quit the PD, Phoebe turned on her heel and marched out of the training cave.

What else could she do?