Julianna
Later that night, we were back in our hotel room. Roman had been quiet all evening. I knew he was thinking of his mother and what his father said in his confession about her leaving their family.
Nora had just been to visit earlier. She brought with her a small box which I asked her to find among my things stored in her spare room.
Roman sat in a chair by the window, staring out over the city lights. The sky was an inky black. Not even the moon was out tonight. I slid my hand on Roman's shoulder, getting his attention. He lifted his face up to me; his eyes were darkened underneath and weary.
"I need you to listen to something." I slid the USB into the tablet, found the file I wanted and pressed play.
A crackling came over the speakers before the voice of my mother came on.
Abigail: "You don't have to tell me your name. Let's call you…Joan. After Joan of Arc. She was a strong woman, just like you."
Maria: "I'm scared."
Roman sat up,his lips parting as he sucked in a breath. His eyes found mine, wide with question, raw with emotion. Is this her? Is this my mother speaking?
I nodded, because I feared that nothing would come out if I tried to speak.
Abigail: "I know. I'd be scared too. Just take a deep breath. Remember why you want to do this."
Maria: "Are you a mother?"
Abigail: "I am. I have a beautiful little girl. She's eight. I would do anything for her. Anything. Be strong for your children, Joan. Be strong for them."
Maria: "Okay…"
We listenedto the whole recording. I stood at Roman's side, a hand on his shoulder, ready to be there if he needed me.
Maria: "My husband…he didn't always used to be a bad man. He didn't used to… My boys…my poor boys. He's going to turn them into monsters."
Maria began to cry.Roman flinched as her pain crackled through the air.
Abigail: "I promise you, I will get you out of there. I will."
Maria: "I won't leave them behind. I won't."
Abigail: "We'll get them out. We'll ensure their safety."
Maria: "If anything happens to me, you'll look after them. You'll make sure they're happy. That they're loved. That they grow up to be good men."
Abigail: "Nothing will happen to you."
Maria: "Promise me!"
Abigail: "Joan, I promise."
When the audio recording stopped,I felt Roman trembling under my palm, the silence growing thick and heavy.
"Your father was lying," I said, emotion coating my throat so my voice came out strained. "Your mother wasn't going to leave you. She was going to take you with her. She turned against your father because she could see what he was becoming. She didn't want that for you boys. She loved you so much she was willing to risk her life to get you away from him."
Roman said nothing. I slid my hand off him and turned away to give him some space. He grabbed me before I could walk a single step. He pulled me into his lap so I straddled him. He buried his face in my neck and wrapped his thick, strong arms around me like a vice. I just held him, while inside, pieces of him stitched together. We sat like that until he stopped shaking. Until his breathing returned to a steady pace.
"Thank you," he whispered.