15. Epilogue

Ideserve retribution. I understand that now.

Regardless of his threats to kill my family—his own flesh and blood—and regardless of his promise to hurt me worse than he already did, my tragic story deserved to be heard.

I was an innocent child, one that fell victim to my uncle in the secrecy of his home, and it's not my fault that I couldn't speak up about what happened to me. Trauma is complicated, and it more often than not steals the voices of the innocent victims.

It's the suffering that silences us, and the selfless need to protect our loved ones from being poisoned by what we've endured. It wasn't my fault that I lost my voice. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep my family safe. I didn't do anything wrong, even though I've blamed myself for everything.

Maybe if I was better behaved, and always listened to my parents, they wouldn't have left me with my uncle to babysit me. I was a child, and there was so much I just didn't understand. I couldn't fathom what I did to deserve what was happening to me. I just blamed myself for everything.

I have to forgive myself for that.

I have, but it took the unconditional love of a demon to remind me that it is okay to love myself, too. Stolas showed me who I really am, and that woman is worth loving. That woman is worth having her voice heard.

Now, as I stand in front of uncle Jake's empty house, the warm night air brushing across my face, I feel good for the first time in my life. Truly good. It's not an ‘I'm good, how are you?' kind of feeling. It's the feeling of being exactly who I am meant to be, walking a path I chose for myself.

Life is not just trauma and anxiety anymore. Of course, what happened to me will forever be part of who I am, but it doesn't have to eclipse everything else in my life. Now, there is love, and wonder, and magic.

This life is mine to live, and to live in a way that brings me true happiness, despite where I came from and the events that shaped me.

I can't drown in misery anymore. I can't live alone in the dark. Stolas is the light of every star, lighting up the endless night sky of my soul. He is a thousand burning suns, warming every cold place within me. He is the foundation beneath my feet, steadfast and sure. I have rooted myself in him, and my growth has been monumental.

I'm a different person now, so perhaps that is why I feel no pain as I stand at the doorway into the house that once haunted my nightmares. A house that held my traumatic memories, triggered by every foot step of the monstrous man that walked the floors inside of those walls.

A house that once held my guilt, my shame, and my feelings of worthlessness. Anchoring all of that poison deep in my being.

I didn't come here for redemption from my self-imposed sins, nor did I come to forgive the man that molested me as a child. No, the only forgiveness to be had is what I've given to myself.

Tonight, I come for catharsis.

With a soft exhale, I walk towards the front door of the modest two-story home. It looks similar to the surrounding homes, with grey vinyl siding, white trim, and a dark roof. There's nothing special about it, and in all honesty I don't feel any particular attachment to it.

Well, that isn't entirely true. I feel an unwelcome connection to Jake's guest bedroom, a connection I came here to sever. My uncle is a part of my past, and although I cannot erase what he has done, I can get rid of what is left of him as I move on to better things.

Pulling the key from my pocket, I open the door and enter the house without hesitation. The door closes behind me, and the key drops from my hand to slide across the laminate floors.

The house is unoccupied. Jake's roommate moved out after his death, and the property never went up for sale. Stolas used demonic possession and manipulation of all the necessary people to leave this place exactly as Jake left it, his gift of omniscience showing him that it had one final purpose.

I'll thank my Great Prince of Hell one day, for giving me this gift.

I don't bother looking around, because there is only one room in this place that really matters. I head up the stairs to the left of the entrance, and walk down the narrow hall until I am standing in front of the final door.

Pushing the door wide open, my eyes immediately fall on the bed at the center of the room. The core of my suffering. The double bed has a high white baseboard, with two pillows and a set of cream and pale pink sheets.

My body remembers the old blanket he left tossed haphazardly across the foot of the bed, the scratchy texture from the worn-out polyester fibers used to make me cry even more. He would wrap me up in the itchy thing before tucking the bed sheets around me. I would sweat during every assault, from the pain and distress, and the sticky moisture only amplified the discomfort that blanket brought me.

I hate that fucking blanket. Years of pent up rage and anguish rise from the depths of my soul, spilling out of me in an unrestrained bellow. I feel the fire within me roar to life, spiraling up through my body and spilling out from my fingertips, from my eyes, and from between my parted lips.

Hot golden tears spill from my eyes, leaving molten trails down my cheeks, as I lift up from the dusty laminate flooring at my feet. Hovering a foot off the ground, the wicked inferno arcs between my fingertips as I lift both of my hands in front of me.

Memories flood in, but they don't take hold. They pass across my vision like a movie on fast forward, and all the horrors of my childhood abuse play out for me to see in my mind's eye. I let them come, I embrace the emotion they bring with them, and let every ounce of rage and pain feed the fire pouring out of me.

Flames swirl wildly around my levitating body, cocooning me in a blazing shield. The heat doesn't burn me, it never has. This fire is mine, this magic is mine, and the destruction at my fingertips is mine too.

The memories collapse under the weight of my rage, my emotions feeding the blazing inferno emanating from me. I purge myself of all the guilt, the shame, the self hatred, and the blame. I let those thoughts and feelings die in the fire pouring out of my soul, watching with a triumphant smile as the flames lash out and engulf the damned bed before me.

Relief washes over me as my anger and misery are purged, cast out of my body with the unforgiving flames. Red and orange tendrils lick up and down the walls, catching the floor and ceiling on fire. I watch as the room begins to dismantle, every detail reducing to cinder and ash before my eyes.

The immense heat in the room is brutal, but it causes me no pain. The solace I feel, watching the origin of my suffering fall into ruination, is divine. In a matter of minutes, the entire room is consumed by my fire.

Every blanket that touched my skin, every pillow that soaked up my tears, and every stupid teddy bear and children's book I was forced to interact with perishes in the fire.

Just as Jake is paying for his sins in Hell, this room is paying for his sins on earth.

I am mesmerized by the destruction, captivated by the sight of everything burning down before me. It isn't until a set of large, powerful arms wrap around my waist and pull me out of the room that awareness floods back in.

As Stolas pulls me out of the burning room, my back pressed against his broad chest, an invisible barrier keeping the fire contained to that one room shatters. The rest of the house begins to catch on fire as the room collapses, the inferno spreading so quickly that within seconds the entire house is engulfed in flames.

Wrapping me in his arms, my demon turns and heads for the stairs. He walks down them with ease, cradling me protectively against his chest as the fire destroys my uncle's home.

Stolas tightens his embrace, his dark power rushing over me like cool water. Tranquility fills the empty places my rage left behind when I purged it, soothing all the scorched places inside of me. I close my eyes and relax in his embrace as we hit the bottom of the stairs. His lips press against my forehead in a kiss as he sets me down on my feet.

When my eyes open, I gaze up into his. Two endless black voids peer back at me, full of constellations and dazzling stars. The demon is unbothered by the fire, and he offers me a knowing smile as he extends his hand towards me.

My smaller hand slips into his, and he wraps his fingers around it. We turn together as the structure of the house begins to crumble, falling to ruin at our backs. He guides me forward, the door opening with a quiet chant falling from his lips.

I step through the burning door first, pulling him with me. The house collapses the moment our feet hit the driveway, but I don't bother looking backwards.

There's nothing for me in the past, no reason to turn around. Life exists on the path ahead of us, and I don't intend to leave it waiting.

As we walk together down the driveway, Stolas tightens his grip on my hand. I turn my head to look at him, catching his otherworldly gaze. His smile is wicked, full of promise. "Feel better, little witch?"

I nod, because words aren't needed. He knows everything. His smile widens and he turns his gaze upwards to the clear night sky. His beautiful eyes mirror the view overhead, reflecting the cosmos back at me.

"Would you like to learn how to fly, Selene?"

I smile, a new excitement blossoming within me. "Absolutely."

…

I thought wielding my magic in the form of fire felt transcendent, but flying through the starlit heavens with Stolas is a whole new level of divine happiness.