46. Morelle

46

MORELLE

M orelle let the hot water cascade over her shoulders, grateful for the privacy of the shower. She needed time alone to think, to process everything she'd learned. Nothing had really changed—she was still herself, still the same person—but somehow everything felt different.

In a way, thinking of herself as a tool was better than seeing herself as a parasite, but she wasn't either of those things, was she?

She was Morelle, a complex individual with many facets who was still growing as a person and discovering not only her strange abilities but also what she liked and didn't like, what interested her and what didn't, and she still didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

After her sheltered and secluded existence in the temple, everything was a discovery. But who was she, really? Was being Earth's shield her ultimate destiny?

Steam filled the bathroom as Morelle contemplated her place in this world.

She loved Annani and her new family fiercely and would defend them with her last breath if needed, and even the idea of eventually confronting the Eternal King didn't bother her if it meant protecting the people she'd come to care about.

So why did she feel so unsettled?

Perhaps the worst part was the realization about her mother. Had she really woken Morelle up because she wanted her daughter to find happiness and love? Or had it been purely strategic—activating a weapon when it was needed?

Then again, why couldn't both be true? Her mother could have loved her deeply while still needing her to do what she'd been created for.

The two weren't mutually exclusive.

And what about their father? Despite what her mother had told her, he must have known about them because the pregnancy hadn't been an accident.

It had been planned.

Still, Morelle remembered vividly what her mother had told her in the dream.

"He was sent into exile before I could tell him that I had conceived," her mother had said. "He died not knowing about you and Ell-rom. But since all is known here in the Fields of the Brave, he knows now."

It still bothered Morelle that her mother hadn't mentioned Ahn reincarnating like she had about the head priestess, and she hadn't said anything about him being with her in the Fields of the Brave either, but she'd said that he knew about Morelle and Ell-rom, which hinted that he was there.

Then again, her mother had said that, as a general rule, all was known in the afterlife, so perhaps she hadn't been in contact with their father since they parted on Anumati.

Another option was that her mother had lied, and still another was that the dream had been just a dream and not the spirit of her mother visiting her. But then, how could her mother have known about things that Morelle had no knowledge of at the time?

Like the fact that Ahn was dead?

After all, he had died long after her mother was no longer on this plane of existence. Could it be that Brandon had told her about the gods' history on Earth while she was in a post-stasis coma, and it had somehow registered in her mind subconsciously?

But then, what about her mother dying before her time?

Brandon could have known about that from the gods who were new arrivals on Earth, but surely he wouldn't have told Morelle about it while she was in a coma. Maybe he had, though. Maybe he had also told her about the queen of the gods delaying the ship.

Had Ahn known that his children had been sent to him?

According to Annani, their father had never mentioned that, but then he'd also kept the gods' origins a secret, so he wouldn't have told his Earth-born daughter that there was a spaceship on the way with her brother and sister on board.

Communication between their parents would have been too dangerous. Any message between them might have exposed her and Ell-rom's existence to their grandfather, so their mother couldn't have told their father that she was sending them to him.

It was very likely that he hadn't known.

As she finally turned off the water, Morelle felt the storm of emotions in her mind settling somewhat. The revelation that she and Ell-rom had been created for a specific purpose rather than being the product of an affair between star-crossed lovers was less romantic. Certainly, it was more pragmatic, but it wasn't terrible.

She could live with it.

She could even find purpose in it.

When Morelle finally emerged from the bathroom, she found Brandon in bed wearing his black silk pajamas. He had told her that he'd never worn them to bed before because he preferred to sleep in the nude, and he only put them on out of regard for her. But now that they had completed their bond, there was no reason for him to be dressed in bed.

So, what was going on with him?

Was he bothered by her being a tool? A weapon?

He was staring at his phone with an expression even more troubled than the one he'd worn all day, which reinforced her suspicion that she was right about him not being okay with the earlier revelation.

Funny how it hadn't even occurred to her that he might have an issue with it. Annani and the rest of the family were happy to have a shield, and they thought highly of her and her ability. Why would Brandon have a problem with it?

She slipped into bed beside him. "Still thinking about those InstaTock videos?" she asked, knowing that wasn't what had put those deep lines on his forehead.

"No." He set his phone aside and took her hand, his expression serious. "I have a confession to make."

Something in his tone made her stomach clench. "What is it?"

"I was the one who realized your and Ell-rom's talents couldn't be random—that you must have been engineered with a specific purpose in mind. "

The words hit her like a physical blow. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to consult with Kian first?—"

"Behind my back." The hurt in her voice surprised even her. "How long have you suspected this?"

"Only since this morning." He squeezed her hand, and she resisted the urge to pull away. "When you were visiting Rob, I went to talk to Kian about it. I needed someone to tell me that I wasn't creating a script in my head and that the story made sense."

"You should have told me first. We could have talked about it and then gone to Kian together."

That was what she would have done if the roles had been reversed, and the way Brandon had handled it was disappointing, to say the least.

Brandon looked tormented. "I wasn't sure about it. I needed to run it by Kian first to see if I was reaching too far." He swallowed hard. "And then, after he agreed it made sense, I was too much of a coward to tell you. I was afraid of how you'd react."

"That's not okay, Brandon." Morelle pulled her hand free. "Life is full of difficult moments, and people who care about each other shouldn't shy away from them and hide their thoughts and suspicions."

"I know." His voice was heavy with regret. "I'm sorry. Can you forgive me? "

Looking at his earnest face, Morelle knew that she had no choice but to eventually forgive him because she loved him. Not yet, though. She couldn't do it when it still stung so fiercely. It wasn't just that he'd kept this from her, but that he'd thought she couldn't handle hearing it from him and relied on others to deliver the news to her.

"You're forgiven," she said finally, but she couldn't keep the truth of her hurt feelings from her voice.

She turned away from him, pulling the covers up to her chin, and after a moment, she felt him curl around her from behind, his arm draping over her waist. She didn't push him away—his warmth was still comforting, even now—but something felt off.

The disappointment sat heavy on her chest, an unwelcome emotion when it came to Brandon. She'd never felt this way about him before, and she wasn't sure what to do with it.

It wasn't that she doubted his love for her or his intentions. She understood his impulse to protect her, to make sure he wasn't wrong before potentially hurting her with his theory. But that was part of the problem—he'd made decisions about what she could handle without giving her the chance to prove him wrong.

His breath was warm against her neck as he whispered, "I really am sorry. "

"I know." She covered his hand with hers, where it rested on her stomach. "I just need time to process things. It's been a difficult day."

She did have a lot to process. Not just Brandon's actions but everything they'd learned tonight. Her very existence had been engineered for a purpose—she and her brother created to be the perfect weapon against a tyrant king.

Ironically, that was easier to accept than the knowledge that Brandon hadn't confided in her first. Genetic engineering was something that had been done to her before she was born, but his choice had been made today, and he should have known better because he knew her.

She wasn't weak, she wasn't fragile, and trust meant everything to her.

Somehow, she would move past this. She loved Brandon, and one mistake wasn't going to change that, but she needed to make it absolutely clear that trust went both ways—and that caring for someone also meant trusting them with difficult truths.