Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Erik

I kiss her neck and her cheek before I leave. She mumbles softly in her sleep, and I feel so damned tempted to just climb back into bed with her. I force those thoughts out of my head and hurry out of her hotel room. I hurry down the stairs and to my car as well.

Well, I’m hung up on this girl. There’s no doubt about that. Nope. I already feel deeply connected, and it’s a damned stupid way for me to feel. These days, a girl can sleep with a man and it doesn’t have the same import that it used to have. It doesn’t mean there’s a relationship on the horizon. It doesn’t even mean there’s another date on the horizon.

Hell, I don’t know.

The good news is that I can go to the bar and have a drink at any time and find out. Play it cool. Yeah, play it cool like I’m a young man again, right?

Damn it all, I don’t know anything about dating. I’m well known in the shifter community in New Hampshire. Yeah, New Hampshire. A number of panthers moved there in the middle of the 1800s. We all know each other and that knowledge is the only ice breaker that anyone could possibly need for anything, if that makes sense.

There aren’t a lot of demands put on panthers. Socially, I mean. In the wild, natural leopards are solitary animals for the most part. We’re like our natural counterparts. We can be absolutely fulfilled with just a little communication. I actually lost my virginity to a girl in high school. We were seventeen. We didn’t really talk to each other at school for the following week (which was just like before) and on Friday I asked if she wanted to see a movie. She did. We slept together again.

That happened for the rest of high school. We didn’t act like boyfriend or girlfriend. We slept together two or three times a month. She went to college on one side of the country. I joined the Marines and learned firefighting. We see each other every six months to a year. We make love. We part ways again.

That’s what it means to be a panther shifter. That relationship was very fulfilling to me and to her. It isn’t an uncommon kind of relationship for panthers at all. Chances are if I lived in New Hampshire still, we would marry. We would still live mostly solitary lives, just in the same house. This is the way of panthers. Panthers, I mean, not leopards. Most people would call us black panthers. In nature, there are two kinds of black panthers. Jaguars. Leopards. Our spots blend in with the fur but they’re there.

For some reason, even though regularly colored leopards in nature are just as solitary as black panthers, the shifter variety isn’t that way at all. On the contrary, typical leopards are among the most social and gregarious of shifters. Nobody understands why. There are arguments that it’s some sort of cultural construct but jaguars and leopards originate from different cultures so that doesn’t even make sense.

When we end up with a human, things change a little. Something about our desires changes and we’re more affectionate and less solitary. With that human, anyway. Some like to call us Homo sapiens panthera . It’s a silly construct that doesn’t actually follow the classification naming systems and—well, you can tell that’s a pet peeve of mine probably. Anyway, when a panther and human end up together, we say the Homo sapiens part is growing.

I used to think it was bullshit, quite honestly. What would a human girl have to offer me that a shifter girl didn’t? I mean, the shifter girl would understand me and my needs, right? And I wouldn’t have to go through the whole explaining process, catching them up on the whole history of shifters kind of thing.

But with Rylee, I just… Hell, I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t be a big deal if I had to do that. In fact, I think I’d like to take the time with her, to talk to her about being a shifter. I get the strange sense that she would be understanding and accepting.

All of this is going through my head as I drive in to work. I have a three-day shift beginning and I’m going to need to focus. We have a physical coming up, so hitting my gym hours will be especially important.Yes, I’m in far better shape than any human. Even a sick shifter is. But everyone at Company 417 is a shifter. I’m not competing against humans, and when physical time runs around, it’s a sort of competition. A friendly competition, sure, but still a competition. Yeah, I need to hit the gym.

But I know where my head is going to be. I can’t stop thinking about her for a second.

Wow.

If the guys find out I’m dating a human, I’ll never hear the end of it. I happen to be one of the naysayers, and I've done my share of teasing, especially since our newest guy showed up, who happens to be another panther like me.I know Ekon is modeling himself after me, and also that he’s pretty traditional. His family has taught him that separation is the safest route for shifters. It’s a be in the world but not of it kind of thing. He’s a first-generation immigrant and so, yeah, he definitely sees things in a different light.

And I used to see things much more like that, but then I met Rylee and saved her and all that changed. It changed so fast I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I get to the station and I see a couple of the guys going over the equipment outside. Ekon is with them. He sees me and gives me a big wave. “Hey, man, we were just talking about you.”

I smile. “Oh yeah? It better not be that I have cooking duties tonight.”

“No, no, Hell no. We tried that last week.”

Vittorio chimes in. “Yeah man, that pasta was almost a personal insult.”

“But you had seconds, and thirds, if I remember correctly.”

He raises his hands in defeat. “Work makes a man hungry, even for slop.”

I fake lunge at him. “Hey, now, you better watch it or I’ll be making alfredo next time.”

Vittorio makes the sign of the cross and we all laugh.

Ekon cuts in. “But no, it wasn’t about your cooking. We, uh, sensed you’ve been a bit preoccupied and, well, we smelled a hint of feminine influence maybe?”

I sigh. I wasn’t thinking of having this conversation right now. Things with Rylee are too new. Hell, they’ve just been slapped on the ass by the doctor. So, I dodge the question as artfully as I can. “Say, Jonah, is Garrett around?”

I can see Ekon’s disappointment at avoiding his question. I’ll deal with him later, though.

Jonah, one of our wolf shifters, nods toward the office. “I think he’s doing paperwork.”

This is our code when Garrett is in a mood that we don’t want to get caught in.

“Ah. Well, I’ll just get my bag inside and head to my workout. I’ll talk to him later.”

I head in and Ekon follows me. “Hey, so? You gonna at least tell me about your new lady?”

I turn around, ready to stop him in his tracks, but he’s smiling like a big cub and I guess I feel like sharing it with somebody. “Fine, you’re right, I’ve met someone. But listen, keep it under wraps for now. I don’t want to jinx it. It’s too new.”

His smile gets bigger. “Okay, okay, you got it, man.” He shrugs. “But, uh, she is human right? I mean, I’m still catching her scent, even under all that cheap cologne.”

“Yes, she is a human, and also, fuck you, this cologne cost me three digits.”

Ekon laughs. “Oh wow, I’d get my money back, if I were you.”

I’m about to respond when my phone starts vibrating. I grab it, half hoping to see something from Rylee. It’s just a notification that my car insurance is due, but now I’m thinking of Rylee even more.

“Hey man, you mind if I deal with something real quick? I’ll see you in just a few in the workout room, okay?”

“No problem, yeah, you take care of business.” He gives me a wink and then blows me a kiss. He walks away laughing.

Damn it, they’re going to rake me across the coals.

But I don’t care. Rylee is amazing. I take my phone and shoot her a quick text message. I apologize for having to leave so abruptly but explain that it’s my turn to do a three-day stint at the firehouse. I tell her I really enjoyed being with her.And then I ask if she’d like to hang out together after my three days are over.

I stand there staring at my phone, willing it to come to life with an instant reply.

Yep, I’m cooked. Totally.