Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Arlo

I didn't want to frighten her. I wanted to pull her against my body and hold her head to my chest, tangle my fingers in the long fall of her hair, and whisper all the words that would let her know how safe she was.

I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her to trust me.

She hid things about her life, her past, present, and future. I wanted to tear those secrets away until she was just as vulnerable to me as she'd made me to her. I didn't even know how or why or fucking when it happened, but this woman had changed something monumental in my life. I hated it.

I couldn't live without it.

Months. It had only taken a moment to look into her innocent eyes to know there was something light and different the world could offer… something that could shape me. Only a handful of months to turn my world upside down without her even having to utter a word.

A. Fucking. Look. That's all it took to go down this rabbit hole where, for the first time in my miserable life, I questioned my very sanity. For the first time in my life, I want something just for me .

And as I stared into her blue eyes that looked so dark right now, not because of the shadows or lack of light but because she was vulnerable in my presence, I told myself there was no going back.

I'd lost it in front of Leonid, showed him a weakness in his own fucking house. He wouldn't forget it. He'd use it against me. He'd twist it and use it to his advantage. It's what men like him did. It's what I did.

I'd seen it in the way he looked at me when I took Lina out of there. When he stared at her .

I turned away and stalked back to the bar, pouring myself more vodka. Too much. I tossed it back and went for glass number four. The burn wasn't there any longer, and alcohol was the last thing I needed. My head was already fucked up without the temptation of Lina in my apartment and the cloudiness of booze in my veins.

I shouldn't have told her I killed that fucker in the alley. But I'd taunted her, needed her to ask me so I could show her how far a man like me was willing to go for her .

"Who are you? Who are those men? What is actually going on?"

I didn't turn around to face her. I stared at the wall straight ahead, my glass in hand, my fingers tight enough around the glass I hoped it cracked and tore my hand to shreds. It would give me something else to feel.

"I'm a ba?—"

"I know. You're a bad man. I didn't ask what people see when they look at you, not what you see in the mirror. I want to know what's going on, because if what you say is true?—"

"It is," I said, cutting her off.

"Then with my life in danger, you owe me the truth."

How could this woman utter a few words and have something tight and uncomfortable inside my chest and squeezing my vital organs? I was now regretting not looking into her past, not getting any and all information on Lina that I could. I didn't have a moral compass, yet when it came to her and finding out who exactly Lina Michaels was—who she really was—I found myself holding back, wanting her to be the one to confide in me.

It was fucking stupid. A mistake. I ran a hand over my face.

I turned around and looked at her. She was still against the window, but her gaze was steady as she watched me. It would be so easy to go up to her and press our bodies flush together, to curl my fingers around her throat and make her look into my eyes as I tell her she's mine.

Fuck, I envisioned myself burying my face in her hair and inhaling deeply before running my nose down the length of her throat, dragging my tongue up and down her soft skin. I could practically taste her in my mouth. Sweet. So sweet. I wanted to feel how fast her pulse would beat against my tongue, proving that she was just as affected by me as I was by her.

"Don't ask questions you don't really want to know the answers to." Did she want me to admit I was involved in the crime syndicate? Did she want to know everything that touched me, everything I owned, was because of blood money?

She pushed away from the window and took a step toward me, but I didn't miss the tremor that moved through her body. She was trying to be stronger than she felt. It was an admirable quality, but it was also a weak one. A human one that would do her no good.

Lina kept moving closer, watching me cautiously. How close would she come? Would she get so close I could reach out and curl my fingers around her waist? Close enough to where I could press her body to mine and let her feel the physical reaction she brought out of me?

"Are you part of that…?" She didn't finish that question, but she didn't need to. She knew what I'd say if I could have. She just wanted me to verify it. I couldn't. I wouldn't. It wasn't even about some moral compass, wasn't because of the Bratva or the Cosa Nostra. At this point I didn't care about any of that. I'd never tell her, because it would put her in even more danger.

I said nothing. There were no words I could say. She looked away when it was very clear she understood, when she knew she wouldn't get the answers she sought from me. I finished off my vodka and set the glass down. I tried to shut off my emotions, what I felt. They were messy and didn't do anything but cause issues. They made a conscience rise up in somebody like me.

"So what?" She looked back at me. "You can't take me home because I'm in some kind of danger now?" She scoffed and looked away. So brave. Trying to be so strong. It was a turn-on. "You know nothing about me." She looked back at me then, trying to hide the fear in her eyes.

But it wasn't for me. She was afraid of something else. Her past. I wanted to find who'd hurt her, who'd betrayed her, and make them beg me for death.

"I've known bad men my whole life. I know how to survive. I don't need anyone protecting me."

Something dark and possessive unfurled in my chest, tightening my heart, causing it to grow, the organ pulsing so hard I was sure it would rip through and crack my ribs.

I wanted to be the one to protect her. I wanted to be the one who killed anything that threatened her.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered, and I hated that she had a tremor in her voice.

You know why. Or maybe you don't. But you will, and you'll be even more afraid of me, because you'll see I won't let you go.

But I didn't say any of that. I took a step closer and watched her body tense, her eyes flare. "I caused issues for you with people you don't want issues with." I held her gaze with mine. "And until I fix it, until I can make sure you're safe, you'll stay here." She opened her mouth, most likely to protest, but a slow shake of my head and a thinning of my lips stopped her. "You'll stay here." I took a step closer. I wasn't lying about Leonid or the danger he presented, but I also wasn't being honest about the situation. I wanted her here for totally selfish reasons.

"You know nothing about me," she whispered again. I didn't answer. "My work. My apartment." She looked away.

"The apartment is a shithole."

She snapped her head in my direction and narrowed her eyes. Her annoyance was an accelerant to my lust. "That may be, but it's where I live," she said in a low voice, all but sneering the words at me. "And I need to work. I need the money." The way she clamped her jaw told me needing the money wasn't just about needing to keep that shithole of an apartment. She needed money for other reasons.

I said nothing as I stared into her eyes. I took a step closer until our chests almost brushed. I had to admit I fucking got off on the fact that she didn't retreat, that she held her ground and met my stare with a thinly veiled pissed-off one.

"Whatever you need, I'll provide."

She shook her head. "I don't like being indebted to anyone."

"Non-fucking-negotiable." I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing she had a hell of a lot more to say. "Besides, as stubborn as you are, you don't seem like the self-sacrificing type of human. Pretty sure you want to live, isn't that right?"

She pursed her lips even more. "And if I left when you're not here? Ran… from you?" There was this challenge in her voice that had my blood turning to fire. I let a dangerous smile cover my lips.

"I'd find you. No matter where you went." I closed off any emotion then, turned, and started walking toward the hallway. "I'll show you where you can sleep." I knew she'd follow. She was strong, but she wasn't stupid. Lina had felt the danger where Leonid was concerned, and although she knew I wasn't any better than the bastard, the unhinged aura Leonid didn't even try to conceal was too strong for her to ignore. And for whatever fucking reason, little Lina trusted me more than she trusted herself to stay safe.

She should fear me just as much as Leonid from principle alone. But she didn't, and that had that possessive glint in me where she was concerned growing tenfold. One day it would consume both of us.

One day soon.