63. Negal

After sitting down and ordering drinks, Negal took Margos hand and asked the question that had been bothering him ever since Margo had admitted her difficulties with intimacy.

After last night, he knew that there was nothing wrong with her. She was sexy, passionate, and responsive, so the only thing he could think of was some creep in her past had left a bad impression.

I want to ask you something that might be upsetting to you, so if you dont want to answer, thats fine.

She frowned. After such a preamble, Im scared of what you want to ask me.

Had she guessed what he had on his mind, or was she imagining something worse?

Did something happen to you to make you afraid of intimacy? Did you have a bad experience?

Margo seemed relieved, so she must have imagined a worse question, although he could not think of what it could be.

Only two really bad things have happened to me. One was Mia almost dying and then having her legs amputated. I forced myself to remain strong for her sake and for Frankies, but I was terrified and devastated. The second bad thing was getting drugged and kidnapped by Alberto and delivered to his boss.

Her intimacy problems had started long before her latest ordeal, so that wasnt the cause. Could there be a connection to what had happened to Mia?

Were you afraid to get close to anyone because you feared losing them like you almost lost Mia?

Margo shook her head. It has nothing to do with that. It was the pedophiles who ogled me when I was too young for such attention. It repulsed and scared me, but I wasnt molested, if thats what you are thinking. She grimaced. There were a few instances of that almost happening, one of them with my uncle, but I was always cautious, so it never came to that.

He bared his fangs. Is that uncle still around?

Yeah, but he lives in Europe now. I had an active imagination when I was a teenager, and its possible that he really had no nefarious intentions when he wanted me to go with him into a dark corner of the park, so, sheathe those fangs and forget that I ever told you that.

Could it be that there had been more to it than Margo remembered? Sometimes, people repressed memories to protect themselves from pain. Only a trained therapist could help her process that, but perhaps Negal could help in some other way.

Reaching for her other hand, he held both and looked into her eyes. No one will dare to ogle you while Im around, he vowed.

It didnt have the impact hed hoped for.

Margo laughed, a burst of genuine amusement that lightened the moment. Theyll just do it behind your back.

He bared his fangs. Let them try.

Thats sweet. She lifted one of their conjoined hands and kissed his knuckles. But Im a grown woman now, and ogling me does not merit being torn apart, so please, retract your fangs and dont bite anyones head off.

Yes, maam. Negal commanded his fangs to recede.

Wow, thats impressive control. How did you make them shrink so fast?

He chuckled. First of all, the word shrink has a very negative connotation when applied to any part of my male anatomy, which includes my fangs. And secondly, control comes with age and lots of practice.

Theres so much about you I dont know, she said, looking up at him with eyes filled with wonder. I dont even know how old you are.

Hed walked into a trap of his own making. Why had he mentioned age? What if she had a problem with how old he was compared to her?

Negal took a deep breath. Brace yourself for a shock, he warned.

Margos brow furrowed. That old? she asked, her tone laced with a hint of humor.

Perhaps he was overthinking it, and she didnt care how old he was.

He nodded, the truth finally spilling out. Im afraid so. Not counting the time I spent in stasis, Im five hundred and twenty-two years old. But, since Ive served in the fleet for a very long time, Ive logged in thousands of years of stasis.

Negal braced himself for a look of shock, but to his astonishment, Margo shrugged. Toven is over seven thousand years old, she said casually as if discussing the weather. Numbers are irrelevant, but all the experiences you’ve had during your service must be fascinating. I bet there are thousands of stories you can tell me from missions all over the galaxy.

He looked into her sparkling eyes and saw only excited curiosity. She really didnt care that he was ancient compared to her.

Let me see. He rubbed a hand over his jaw. Where should I start?

Anywhere you want. You can just pick one. She leaned closer. The dragon world should be exciting. Tell me about that.

He laughed. If fear of being torched alive is exciting, then yes. But honestly, Im not a thrill-seeker, and I didnt enjoy that. Despite what you might think, Im not indestructible.

But youre a god. You should be impervious to dragon fire.

Negal shook his head. Even if I was, which Im not, it would have been painful in the extreme. My body can heal fast, but not fast enough to remake itself from ash.

Margo swallowed. Suddenly, Im no longer interested in hearing about dragons. I dont want to think about you being in mortal danger. She sucked in a breath. What else can kill a god?

Many things. No one can survive without a head or a heart, so if either is removed or explodes, it is death for a god.

Margo grimaced. Lets not talk about that. Tell me about your world.

That was much easier because hed spent a lot of time thinking about Anumatis injustices.

Our society has a class system that distinguishes the royals from the commoners. Royals glow, and commoners do not. Royals can suppress their glow and pretend to be commoners if they want to, but commoners cant pretend to be royal. Within the royals, there are degrees of luminosity, and those who shine the brightest are the elite. Each class attends different schools, which dictate the universities they move on to, creating a system that favors the elite and is nearly impossible to break into for someone like me, Dagor, and Aru. The ironic part is that we are all supposed to be equal because, supposedly, we have equal rights under the law, but thats the biggest lie of all. The vast majority of Anumatian citizens are considered superfluous, and only the elites who support the Eternal King have a voice. The rest of us have very limited options. Every move we make is monitored, evaluated, and judged, and we have to obey orders without question.

You are a soldier. So, of course, you have to obey.

Negal shook his head. Its true for all commoners, and thats why the resistance was born. People are fed up with the system, the lies, the lack of say in how they live their lives.

Eyes full of understanding, Margo squeezed his hand. Its not as bad here in the West, at least not yet, but things are rapidly heading in that direction. I hoped that the gods would be more enlightened. I hoped that theyd created a better world.

Negal smiled. One day we will, but for that to happen, the current system needs to be abolished, and the Eternal Kings reign needs to come to an end.