55. Marina

After waking up to the aroma of breakfast cooking, Marina had rushed to the living room to see what was going on, and now she regretted it.

It would have been so much nicer to have Peter surprise her with breakfast in bed. No one had ever done something like that for her. Then again, she would have needed to excuse herself to visit the bathroom and brush her teeth, so maybe it was better this way.

At least now, when Peter brought the tray in, her hair wouldnt look like a birds nest, and her breath would not stink.

Getting back in bed, she arranged a stack of pillows at her back, pulled the blanket up to her chin, and waited for Peter to arrive.

When he entered, the laden tray carefully balanced in his hand, the sight stirred a well of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, and as he placed the tray across her lap, Marina felt her eyes misting with tears.

She was so touched by the gesture, the care it implied, her importance to him, the feelings he had for her. Perhaps he had meant it when hed said he didnt want to let her go?

Or was she reading too much into it?

Peter frowned. Why are you crying?

Im not crying. She lifted a hooked finger and rubbed it under her eye to make sure. Im just still sleepy so my eyes get misty.

Looking doubtful, he lifted one of the mugs off the tray and handed it to her. The coffee will wake you up.

Thank you. She took it and cradled the warm mug between her palms before taking a sip. Oh, wow. You made it just as I like it. Her voice quivered, and she sniffled.

He canted his head. Whats going on, Marina? I thought you would like a little pampering.

I love it. She sniffled again. Its just that this is such a sweet gesture, and Im a little overwhelmed.

Peter smiled. Youve done sweet things for me, and now Im repaying the favor.

Did he mean the sex?

No, that wasnt it.

What sweet things?

He chuckled. Have you forgotten the lunch you made for me when I was on guard duty?

It was nothing. Just a couple of sandwiches.

And this is just scrambled eggs with toast, cheese, and fruit. Not a big deal either. He leaned over the tray and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. I like doing nice things for you.

Emboldened by his actions and his words, or perhaps just tired of keeping her desires bottled up inside of her, Marina found the words spilling out of her, Take me with you to your village. When his eyes widened, she rushed to add, I wont be a burden. There are plenty of things I can do to earn my keep. I can clean houses, cook, or babysit. And I could be your girlfriend just for as long as you want me. I dont expect a commitment. I know that its not possible between us.

Marina waited, her heart beating a frantic rhythm and her breath frozen in her throat, readying herself for the rejection that she was sure would come, and yet hoping that it wouldnt, that by some miracle Peter would say that he couldnt live without her and would take whatever years she could give him.

Watching him absorb her confession, she saw his expression change from surprise to concern, and then to regret.

Her heart sank to the pit of her gut like it was made from lead. She could practically hear the splash as it landed and disturbed the acid in her stomach, sending it up to her throat.

She was going to be sick, and she couldnt move because the damn tray was on her lap.

Marina, Peter said as he reached for her hand. I would have loved it, but the longer we stay together, the harder it will be to part. I care for you deeply, and I enjoy being with you more than I have with any woman, but the reality is that you will age, and I will not, and its not something we can ignore. He smiled sadly. I know that humans do not like to think about their mortality, and even less so about the mortality of their loved ones, and I totally understand that, but in this case, you need to remove your blinders and look far into the future. You wont like what you see.

Marina appreciated Peters honesty, but his words cut her, nonetheless.

What did he think, that she was stupid? Ignorant? That she wasnt aware of her mortality and his immortality?

As if there was anything else she could think about.

Nothing youve said is news to me, she said in a much steadier voice than she felt. Im not asking for forever, Peter. Im asking for now. I need to get away from Safe Haven for a while to heal.

He arched a brow. Heal from what?

Marina swallowed. My former boyfriend dumped me for someone he met in college. It hurt, but it wasnt so bad while he was gone most of the time. Then he finished his studies and came back with her to Safe Haven, and seeing them together every day, kissing, touching, exchanging loving looks, is just painful. She closed her eyes. I thought we would get married, have kids, all the silly dreams girls have. Seeing him with her is a constant reminder of that lost dream. She opened her eyes and looked into Peters. Its not that I still love him. I dont think I ever truly loved him, but I loved the dream, and Nicolai carelessly shattered it. So, I lick my wounds and mourn the dream, and I need to be away from him and his new girlfriend to heal. Thats why I want to move with you to your village.

Everything shed said was the truth, but not the entire truth. She had also fallen for Peter and wanted him to love her back, but evidently his feelings for her didnt run as deep.

Was there something wrong with her that no one wanted to commit to her?

Whatever.

If Peter cared for her even a little, he would not deny her. It wasnt as if she was asking him to mend her broken pieces or to commit to a future that both of them knew was impossible. She was asking for a reprieve and a chance to find joy in the present without the shadows of her past looming over her.

Was it really so much to ask?

Gazing into Peters eyes, she searched for understanding and acceptance, but all she saw was a conflict that was peppered with sadness and sweetened with affection.