Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

Berwick Castle

"S he is a beautiful woman," Ashton said. "Too bad she has the manners of a shrew."

By candlelight and in the reflection of a polished bronze mirror, Julian was shaving the stubble off his neck, which his hauberk was starting to irritate.

"Who?" he asked.

Ashton had just splashed water all over his face. "Today," he said, grabbing blindly for a towel. "The woman who told you that you were a poor commander."

Julian watched his reflection in the mirror as he carefully shaved. "The de la Mere lass?"

"The same."

They were in one of the many chambers of Berwick Castle, a vast complex of outbuildings, towers, chapels, and halls. Julian and Ashton were sharing a larger chamber in an apartment block near the southwest tower. There was some construction going on at the great donjon, which was synonymous with the great gatehouse, but there was also a keep on the northwest side of the castle where Cole and his family resided. In all, Berwick was a massive and impressive place, and Julian was always properly awed by his brother's command but at this moment, he wasn't thinking about Berwick.

He was thinking about a certain young woman who had insulted him.

"I suppose she is pretty enough," he said after a moment, carefully moving up his throat with a sharp razor. "I didn't think her manners were horrible."

Ashton frowned. "She all but condemned your ability as a commander," he said, agitated as he wiped his face. But he suddenly stopped. "And that's another thing– speaking of commanders, I swear to you that if de Bourne so much as looks at your sister in a manner I do not like, I will flay the man."

The change of subject was swift, from one young woman to another, and Julian grinned. "Anteaus de Bourne has as much right to look at Addie as you do," he said. "Christ, Ash, you've known my sister for ten years and you have had your chance. She's has grown tired of waiting for you."

Ashton turned his nose up at him. "I'm to inherit Bowes Castle and my father's titles," he sniffed. "What does de Bourne have to offer her? Nothing. Nothing but his big muscles. The man is as stupid as a post."

Julian burst out laughing. "He is more handsome than you are."

"He is not ."

"Addie thinks so."

Ashton's eyes widened. "Did she say so?"

Julian was still chuckling as he rinsed off his razor in the basin. Ashton was quite beauteous with his blond de Royans looks, but it was always fun to poke at the man's pride.

"She did not," he said. "But Effie has said so."

Ashton sneered. "Effie has no bearing on the situation," he said. "She has a husband, the poor man. She should not be commenting on the comeliness of other men."

Julian snorted again, drying off his razor. "I like Rod," he said, referring to Effington's husband of several years. "And her husband is not a ‘poor man'. He's skilled and wealthy. Rod de Titouan is a close ally of the Earl of Hereford and Worcester, you know."

"I know." Ashton tossed the towel aside. "I like Rod well enough, too, but Effington puts poison in Addie's ears. Her attitude is always quite different after she visits with her sister."

Julian glanced at him. "You mean that Effie tells Addie not to wait around for you?"

Ashton wasn't going to admit to anything. As Julian had mentioned, he'd known Addington for several years, only becoming interested in her over the last two. Addington was a beautiful girl, but since the death of her father, she'd stuck to her mother like flies to honey. She really didn't entertain suitors and the only reason she entertained Ashton was because he served at Pelinom. She saw him every day. But she was very much attached to her mother, something the family didn't really talk about much.

There was an underlying reason for that.

With the loss of Cassian, Addington was the baby of the family and there was something in her that couldn't seem to leave the nest, not just yet. She felt that her mother needed her more than a husband would. Ashton hadn't pushed, and that worked well in his favor since he wasn't entirely eager to marry yet, but when Cole's brother-in-law, Anteaus, started showing interest in Addington last year, Ashton was forced into the position of a dog protecting his bone.

It made for some humorous– and tense– moments at times.

"I do not care what Effington thinks," Ashton finally said, turning up his nose. "What's between Addie and me is our business, not hers."

"It's going to be Anteaus' business if you don't do something about it," Julian said.

Ashton shrugged, ever defiant. "It would serve Addie right if I married someone else," he said. "That woman from earlier today– the de la Mere girl– is quite pretty the more I think on it. And she'll be here tonight. Mayhap I should get to know her better and throw a little envy into Addie. If she sees me paying attention to another woman, mayhap it will drive her into my arms."

Julian shook his head at the logic. "Or drive her fist into her eye," he said. "Leave Lady Lista out of your manipulation. I have a feeling she has enough to deal with."

Ashton looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Did you see her mother and aunt?"

Ashton's eyebrows lifted in realization. "Oh, that ," he said. "Those two were a pair. Mad, both of them."

"It seems so."

"If today was any indication, I have a feeling we are in for an interesting evening."

Julian tucked his razor away, his thoughts lingering on Lista de la Mere. Ashton was right– she was quite pretty. Magnificent, even. He thought on her long, dark hair with some wave to it, her sweetly oval face and pert nose, but most of all, he thought on her eyes. They were the purest shade he'd ever seen, the greenish-blue of the ocean when the water was clear and cold. There was something about her that would make any man take a second look at her, including him. But he thought it all rather futile.

A woman like that would never look at a man like him.

A not-unfamiliar sense of disappointment swept him.

Washed and shaved, because Cole's wife didn't like dirty, smelly knights at her table, Julian went to the window that overlooked the bailey of Berwick Castle. It was a vast, open space and he could see the men moving about now that night had fallen, hundreds of torches lighting up the bailey and the night sky. On the wall walk, he could see men moving about but the mist was starting to roll in from the sea, creating halos around the torches that were staving off the darkness.

"The mist is rolling in," he said. "It is going to be a cold and damp night."

Ashton already had his tunic over his head, putting his belt on. "Mayhap Addie will require extra warmth," he said, strapping a few weapons on his body. Broadswords were also forbidden in Berwick's hall. "I would not be disinclined to warm her should she ask."

Julian was still looking out of the window. "You should probably not tell me that," he said. "I have told you this before– any untoward behavior with my sister will not only incur my wrath, but Cole's as well. I do not think you can take us both on."

Ashton lifted his head from where he'd been fumbling with his buckle. "Nor would I want to," he said. "I did not mean that as a lascivious comment, only as a polite one."

Julian cast him a long look. "Lies do not become you."

Ashton snorted. "I am sorry I said anything at all," he said, throwing up his hands in surrender. "Sometimes I forget to whom I am speaking."

"You are speaking to Addington's older brother," Julian said, noting a party entering from the gatehouse, which had been closed up for the night. "I will be watching you tonight, Ash."

"You will only see proper behavior, I promise."

"And stay away from Anteaus."

Ashton didn't like that command, so he curled his lip unhappily at Julian and quit the chamber, heading out into the damp evening. Julian heard the door shut but didn't pay it any attention because the small party entering the bailey had his focus. The area was so well lit that it didn't take him long to see that it was the de la Mere party– six soldiers, a knight, and three women. They were met by a servant, a man who was in charge of all visitors, and he could see clearly when they were directed to leave their horses and head to the hall.

Perhaps it was a good time for him to head to the hall, too.

*

It was the nightmare she had feared.

Lista had just spent the past three hours in a tavern down by the river's edge, a grubby hovel of a place called The Silver Fish where there was a fight every hour, where women lifted their skirts and allowed men to do whatever they wished for a price, and where her mother and aunt could drink cheap wine that went straight to their heads.

An utter and complete nightmare.

After purchasing the brined fish and a few other things they needed from local merchants, the effects of the apothecary's ingredients had worn off and Meadow and Flora were on the lookout for their next thrill. They had been in The Silver Fish before and knew the barkeep, a man who always kept them well supplied, so they rushed to the tavern before Lista and Amaury could stop them. Amaury went so far as to try and remove them but that nearly started a fight when the rough-looking patrons thought the knight was trying to harass the women. Only Lista's intervention had prevented a bloodbath as Meadow and Flora went about drinking with the men.

They bought the entire tavern drinks.

After that, Amaury was forced to wait outside unless he wanted to start another fight and Lista was condemned to keeping an eye on her mother and aunt from inside the establishment. Too many men tried to speak with her, or buy her a drink, but she refused to speak and she refused to drink, kicking men in the groin who wouldn't leave her alone or gouging an eye or two if they came too close. For three long and horrific hours, she watched her mother and aunt drink themselves into oblivion until Lista finally reminded them that they were expected at the castle for supper. Only the thought of more food and drink got them out of the tavern and here they were, ready to continue drinking with Lady de Velt's expensive wine.

It was going to be another horrific evening in a long line of them.

The de la Mere party entered from one end of the great hall, with enormous metal doors that looked like chainmail, and traveled into the chamber with an enormous vaulted ceiling and stone floor. There was a colossal hearth about mid-hall, belching out smoke and sparks and a great amount of heat into the room. In addition to the table on the dais, there were several other large feasting tables, half of which were already full of men drinking and eating bread before the main meal got underway. While Amaury and the escort took Meadow and Flora into the hall and got them settled, Lista went in search of a servant who could deliver a message to Lady de Velt.

She wanted the woman to know what had transpired since they'd last met.

As Lista waited in the alcove for the servant who would come to take her message, she stood there and shivered. She was wet and cold from the ride from The Silver Fish, hoping for a few moments in front of that giant fire so she could warm up and dry out. Trembling, she rubbed at her damp arms, trying to bring some heat into her limbs, when Addington entered the alcove.

Surprised, Lista found herself looking into those mesmerizing eyes.

"My lady?" Addington said, equally surprised to see her. "A servant told me that you wished to send a message to my mother."

Lista was mortified. "I am very sorry if they sent for you instead," she said. "I did not ask them to. I simply wished to send your mother a message."

Addington smiled. "It was no trouble at all," she said. "I was coming to the hall, anyway. But why on earth are you so wet?"

Lista smiled weakly, her lips quivering with chill. "My mother forgot her cloak, so I gave mine to her," she said. "Unfortunately, it is rather wet out right now."

Addington was stricken. "We must get you into dry clothing immediately before you catch your death of chill," she said, reaching out to take Lista's ice-cold hand. "Come with me. I will find something dry for you to wear."

"Wait," Lista said, digging in her heels before Addington could whisk her away. "I must tell your mother that my mother and aunt are already… tipsy. I could not keep them out of a tavern this afternoon, so they are…"

"Full of sauce?" Addington finished for her.

Lista nodded, embarrassed. "I wish it was not so, but it is," she said. "I am so sorry. If you could simply give us a chamber, I will take them there and make them sleep it off. You will not see us again, I promise."

Addington's smile grew. "Then I would not have a chance to make a new friend," she said. "Where are they now?"

"In the hall, with our knight," Lista said. "He is keeping an eye on them."

"Good," Addington said. "Then they are well cared for at the moment. Come with me and let me care for you, too."

It was a very kind way of putting it, something Lista wasn't used to. She was so accustomed to being the one doing the caring that for someone to show her such regard nearly brought her to tears. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. She simply went with the woman when she tugged on her hand.

Berwick was a maze of corridors, doorways, chambers, and passages. Lista had no idea where Addington was taking her, but she simply followed along, trusting the woman who seemed very much to want to be her friend. Because of her mother and aunt, Lista really didn't have any friends. She was so focused on tending those two that any friendships had long since died away due to sheer neglect. Therefore, the prospect of a friend wasn't an unattractive one at all.

There were times when she desperately needed someone to talk to.

Somehow, they ended up at the big, block-like keep of Berwick. They had come out of a passageway and ended up on the front steps of the keep. Lista looked skyward, seeing how tall the building was. In fact, all of Berwick was ridiculously tall. She'd never seen such a big place in her entire life. Just as they were mounting the steps to enter, a worried servant stopped them.

"Lady Addington," the woman said. "We have a problem in the kitchen and I cannot find Lady Corisande or your mother. Will you help?"

Addington paused. "I do not know where Cori is," she said. "My mother was in her chamber the last I saw her."

"She's not there now, my lady. Will you come?"

Addington grunted unhappily. "I have a guest," she said, pointing out the obvious. "My mother is around here somewhere. You simply have to look for her."

The servant was wringing her big, chapped hands nervously. "It may be too late, my lady," she said. "We have a problem with the pig. The fire was too hot and we think it's ruined. We will have nothing to feed the men. Will you please come?"

Addington sighed heavily at what seemed to be a dire situation. She didn't see that she had much choice and was preparing to return Lista to the hall when someone crossing the bailey caught her eyes. She perked up, waving an arm to draw attention.

"Julian!" she shouted. "Julian, attend me!"

Startled, Lista turned to see Julian nearing the hall. There were so many torches in the bailey that it was easy to see the men moving through it. When Julian heard his sister, he paused, shifted, and headed in her direction.

Lista could feel her cheeks growing hot at the mere sight of him.

"Julian!" Addington sounded relieved. "Thank goodness. I need your assistance with Lady Lista. She is soaking wet and I was going to find her a change of clothing, but I am needed in the kitchen and mother is nowhere to be found. Will you please take Lady Lista in-hand and see that she has something dry to wear?"

Lista could hardly look at Julian with that embarrassing request, but before she'd averted her gaze, she had noticed a few things about him– he was without his helm or any of his armor this night. He was wearing a buttery-soft leather tunic and breeches, with a belt of weapons around his trim waist. Earlier that day, she'd noticed how utterly muscular and massive the man was but she thought some of it might have been the protection he was wearing.

She was wrong.

All of that bulging muscle was his.

Much to her consternation, he was more handsome than she remembered. He looked as if he'd washed and shaved because he certainly didn't look like the man she'd seen earlier in the day. The front of his dark blond hair was still draping down the right side of his face, covering his right eye, and he made no move to push it aside as he looked at her.

"I would like to help, but I do not know anything about women's clothing," he said. "Mayhap I can help in the kitchen?"

Addington frowned. "A man in the kitchen?" she said as if it were the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "Take the lady up to my chamber and let her pick out something dry. We are about the same size. Bring her back to the hall when she is properly dressed."

Julian didn't react or respond and Addington didn't wait for him to either resist or agree. She headed off with the servant, leaving Julian and Lista standing in awkward silence.

"Once again, you are being forced to assist me," Lista finally said, breaking the stillness between them. "I am terribly sorry. I can simply return to the hall and dry myself by the fire."

Julian's left eyebrow lifted. "And risk my sister seeing that you are in the same wet garment?" he said. "Not bloody likely. She'd tell my mother and we would both be in trouble. You'd better come along with me."

Before Lista could reply, he took her by the elbow and directed her into the keep. His enormous hand on her arm was like a firebrand– powerful, searing. She could feel it through the damp fabric. In fact, she could feel everything about him through that fabric– his size, his heat– everything.

It was enough to make her heart race.

"That is the second time you have expressed fear of your mother's wrath," she said as they entered the dimly lit innards. "Clearly, you have a healthy respect for your mother."

Julian grunted softly in agreement. "You will, too, once you come to know her."

"I hope I have the opportunity," Lista said. "Truthfully, this entire day has been rather strange. My mother is not usually so social as to accept an invitation to dine."

He directed her to a narrow spiral staircase that disappeared into the upper floors. He pointed to the steps and she headed up as he followed.

"Why not?" he asked. "She seemed pleasant enough."

Lista emerged on another dimly lit floor. "You are kind to say so," she said. "But you saw how she was today. I do not mean to keep bringing it up, but she is difficult to bear with some people so she and my aunt keep to themselves."

"And you?"

"I keep with them."

There was something decidedly lonely in that statement. Julian opened the first door they came to, revealing the lovely chamber beyond. There was a fire burning in the hearth and hides on the floor, making it all quite cozy and warm. Lista was so busy admiring the chamber that she didn't notice that Julian was looking at her with a good deal of interest.

As if he were trying to figure her out.

"Addie's wardrobe is over there," he said, pointing to the enormous cabinet against the wall. "Select something and I shall wait for you in the corridor."

"Nay," Lista said quickly, turning to him. "Please do not leave."

His brow rippled with confusion and perhaps even concern. "I cannot remain, my lady."

"Leave the door open and you can," she said. "I do not wish to be alone in this room with your sister's fine things. She does not truly know me and I do not know her, and I am uncomfortable enough going through her wardrobe. She is far too trusting, so I do not wish for there to ever be any question as to my actions. I would never want to violate that trust, so you will remain as a witness to my actions."

Julian understood and, in truth, he was impressed that she would be so forthright. Rather than throw him out and rifle through her sister's things, possibly even stealing something, she was determined to be transparent and honest, as a guest should.

Respect for the woman took root.

"As you wish," he said.

He planted himself in the doorway, not making any move to go further into the chamber, as Lista lit a big bank of tapers near the bed. As a soft, warm glow filled the room, she went to the old wardrobe and carefully opened the doors. Immediately, piles of clothing fell out, right onto her feet, and a cat jumped out, running onto the bed. Surprised, Lista looked at the clothing, the cat, and then burst into soft laughter.

Julian bit his lip to keep from grinning.

"My sister is a sweet woman, but she has never been the tidy sort," he said.

Lista put a hand over her mouth to stifle the giggles, but not before Julian caught a glimpse of straight, white teeth and a big dimple in her right cheek. "It is comforting to know that she is not as perfect as I thought she was," she said. "This wardrobe looks like mine, except I do not trap cats in it."

Julian let his grin break through, flashing his own dimples. "I would be careful sticking my hands in there," he said. "You just never know what more she has trapped in there, living or dead."

Lista feigned fear, a charming gesture as far as Julian was concerned, and proceeded cautiously. "Goodness," she said. "What more shall I find? A nest for fae?"

"More than likely a nest for trolls."

Lista giggled. "That is not a very nice thing to say about your sister," she said. "I am sure there are no trolls in here, nasty things."

"I would not be too sure."

She glanced at him, her sea-colored eyes twinkling, and he grinned and looked away. He was leaning against the door jamb, those enormous arms crossed, head lowered as he looked at his feet. Even though his hair was hanging over half his face, Lista could still see the smirk on his face. She could feel the brotherly love towards a sister.

She rather liked it.

"You have experience with trolls, then?" she asked, teasing him as she began to pick up the clothing at her feet. "Surely a knight of your caliber should have no trouble with them."

Julian saw what she was doing and broke his stance by the door, coming in to help. "No trouble with trolls," he said, picking up an armload of garments and tossing them onto the bed. "You?"

It was a rather witty comeback and she fought off a grin. "Not recently, no," she said, collecting a pile of scarves that had fallen out. "And you only have one sister?"

He shook his head, collecting some slippers that had tumbled out. "Three," he said. "Allaston, Effington, and Addington. Addie is the youngest."

"And one brother?"

Julian wasn't sure how to answer that. "I had three," he said, feeling his good mood fade. "We lost my youngest brother around the same time as we lost my father."

Lista put the scarves on the bed. "I am sorry," she said. "I did not mean to pry."

"You did not."

She wasn't so sure, but he was being polite about it, anyway. She turned back for the remainder of the pile on the floor. "I have no brothers or sisters anymore," she said. "I lost my brother, also. I understand how you feel."

Julian tilted his head to the side. "Then you have my condolences, as well," he said sincerely.

"It must be a good feeling to have a big family. It must make you feel as if you belong to something happy and loving."

"Or annoying and frustrating," he said, reaching down to pick up a cloak. "Especially if your sister embarrasses you in front of a guest."

He meant the pile of clothing but Lista grinned. "She did nothing of the sort," she insisted, picking up a final garment off the floor and seeing that it was a dark blue wool with silver embroidery on it. It seemed simple enough and a good fabric against the cold night. "Do you think your sister would mind if I borrowed this one?"

Julian looked at it. She was holding it against her and in the gentle glow of the tallow candles, he could see the dark blue color reflecting in her eyes. There was something so beautiful about her at the moment, something ethereal, that it took his breath away. He'd never had that kind of a reaction to a woman in his life. He could have stared at her all night but when she fixed on him, meeting his eyes, he quickly averted his gaze.

"I do not think she would," he said. "Is there anything else I can help you with, my lady? Should I send for a servant to help you dress?"

Lista's gaze lingered on him for a moment before she placed the dress carefully on the bed, disturbing the cat. She couldn't help but notice that while he would warm a little, he clearly had no intention of being anything other than politely friendly. Whenever their gazes would meet, he would quickly look away.

Sadly, she knew why. Or, at least she thought she did.

"That is not necessary," she said. "I do not need help dressing, though I appreciate your offer. I fear that, twice now, I have taken far too much of your valuable time. So if you wish to return to the hall, I will heartily encourage you to do so."

Julian shook his head. "I cannot," he said simply. "I will wait for you to change into dry clothing and escort you to the hall."

With that, he quit the chamber and shut the door behind him, leaving Lista feeling the least bit bewildered and also a little disappointed. He was such a handsome man, beautifully built, but there was absolutely nothing he saw in her that he liked. Truth be told, Lista hadn't been around many young knights, at least men of eligible marital age, so her time with Julian was quite rare.

But quite wonderful.

It took her away from her drunken mother and boorish aunt. It took her away from a life of managing an entire castle, her world consumed by tending to things that her mother should have taken care of. A world where everything depended on her and she, in turn, had no one that she could depend on. There was no one. Felkington was a wealthy castle but certainly no man in his right mind would want to marry her with the burden of her mother and aunt upon her shoulders. Now that Julian had seen the reality of her world, there was no way the man would ever be remotely interested.

But it wasn't just that she was hopeful for Julian, personally. He was far above her social station and she knew it. It was the fact that it could have been any man. Any man she had made an acquaintance of who had seen the reality of her life with her mother and aunt. It just happened to be Julian who had seen it and wanted nothing to do with it.

She didn't blame him in the least.

Looking up from the blue garment, Lista looked around the room. Even though she had a lavish chamber of her own back at Felkington, there was something different about Addington's. It was a luxurious room that clearly belonged to a woman who had a family to love her. A woman who surely must have had many marital prospects, a woman who could be herself and not have to worry about her fragile mother and misbehaving aunt.

A woman who had everything Lista had been denied.

That understanding had never been more painful than it was at this very moment.

She couldn't accept the dry dress. She couldn't accept anything of Addington's because it simply wasn't right. She was still damp, and still cold, but she wasn't going to change her clothing. In fact, she was going to gather her mother and aunt and find an inn somewhere in the village to spend the night before they headed home.

She wasn't going to impose on the perfect world of de Velt any longer.

Lista yanked the chamber door open and charged through, heading for the stairs. Julian had been standing right outside the door, startled when he saw her practically run to the steps. He called after her but she didn't answer him, taking the steps far too quickly. He was behind her and he seriously thought she was going to slip and fall all the way to the bottom, but she somehow managed to keep her footing.

Hitting the bottom of the steps, she began to run.

Puzzled, Julian ran after her.

The mist outside had turned into a wet blanket. Everything it touched was instantly sopping wet and that included Lista as she ran into the fog. Julian called after her twice, finally catching up to her about halfway to the stables. Reaching out, he grabbed her arm, forcing her to a halt. But even as they came to a stop, Lista was struggling to pull away from him.

"My lady?" he said, trying to hold on to her without hurting her. "Whatever is the matter? Why are you running?"

"Please," Lista said, trying to yank her arm free. "Please let me go. I must have our escort prepared."

Julian was looking at her with mounting concern. "But why?" he said. "What has happened?"

Lista stopped tugging because he clearly wasn't going to let her go. His grip was like iron. His hair, wet, had come away from the right side of his face and was now plastered against his right temple and cheek. Even in the torchlight of the bailey, which was still fairly bright, Lista could see the full scope of the man's face and she wasn't disappointed. He was glorious. But she also noticed that he had two different-colored eyes– one eye was bright green and the other was a light brown, almost a hazel. The hair draped over his eye had covered up the fact that the right eye was light brown.

But she didn't give it a second thought. If anything, it simply made him more handsome in her opinion. Handsome and kind and polite.

And he didn't want anything to do with her.

"Sir Julian," she said as steadily as she could. "I have troubled you for the last time. I want you to listen to me very carefully. Will you do this?"

His brow furrowed. "Of course I will, my lady. But why do you…?"

She cut him off before he could finish. "Please listen," she said again. "I want you to let my arm go."

He did, without hesitation. Lista straightened her sleeve before continuing. "Now," she said. "When we first met, I was sharp with you. I have apologized for that and I will do it yet again. I am sorry for the way I spoke to you. You and your mother were very kind to me and my mother and I will always be very grateful for that. Your mother was warm and welcoming to a woman she'd known as a child, but it never occurred to your mother that the woman she knew long ago is not the same woman of today. My mother is a reckless fool. It was a mistake to come here and impose upon your family. I am going to make sure our escort is prepared and then I am taking my mother and aunt away. We should not be here."

He was still frowning, unsure what had her so upset. "But I do not understand," he said. "You did not seem upset when I left you to change your clothing. Did I say something to offend you?"

She looked at him as if startled by the question. After a moment, a smile spread across her face, but it wasn't one of humor. The laugh that came from her mouth was one of great irony.

"Sir Julian, you do not have to pretend with me any longer," she said. "I understand that twice you have been forced into escorting me so you do not have to pretend it is something you are doing of your own free will. I am simply the daughter of a madwoman and what you have seen today is my life, every single day. Every morning is hell, every afternoon is exhaustion, and every night is spent wondering what is going to happen on the morrow. I've seen many a person turn away from my mother and me, so I know the expression well. I could see it in your face, too. I do not blame you. Though it has been my great honor to make your acquaintance, I ask that you go now and leave me alone. I have preparations to make."

With that, she turned on her heel and continued rushing towards the stables, leaving Julian standing there in confusion. He'd never heard a speech like that in his life, so he stood there a moment as he pondered every word. He had been thinking that he had been the one to send her running out into the mist, but now he was starting to realize that it wasn't him at all.

… or was it?

It took him a moment to realize that his wet hair had moved away from his right eye, exposing it. To those who had never seen his dual-toned eyes before, he knew how it looked. He'd had priests try to exorcise him, or throw holy water on him, or even herd people away from him. His father got the same reaction because his eye color was so pronounced. The Devil's Eyes , people used to say. Cole's eyes had the trait, but they were hardly noticeable, while Cassian had also possessed the trait to a larger degree. But Julian… his was quite obvious. Perhaps that trait had chased Lista de la Mere away but, somehow, she seemed tougher than that. She didn't seem the type to shy away from something different or superstitious. But then again, he didn't know her at all.

Perhaps he was wrong.

In any case, the woman was upset and he simply couldn't let it go.

He went in search of Addington.

*

"My brother thinks that he has offended you."

Standing in the musty stables, Lista heard the soft female voice, turning to see Addington enter. She had been watching the grooms prepare the horses, unwilling to return to the hall just yet, so Addington's appearance had her uncertain and embarrassed.

"Nay, not at all," she said to Addington's blunt statement. "I simply asked him to leave me and let me go about my business."

"What business?"

"We are preparing to depart."

Addington frowned. "Why?" she said. "My lady, it is only fair to tell me what is wrong. What have we done?"

Lista knew she should tell her. Addington was right– it was only fair. Therefore, she struggled to delicately phrase it.

"You've done nothing," she said. "You have been so incredibly gracious and the last thing I would want to do is offend you or your brother or mother, but we must face facts. My mother and aunt are not appropriate guests for your mother's table."

Addington's eyes glittered in understanding. "So you are planning to take them away?"

Lista nodded. "I was going to come and tell you myself, I promise," she said. "I wanted to make sure the escort was ready before I did. We should have never accepted your invitation to sup. My mother and aunt simply do not belong around polite, civilized people."

"So you thought to spare us the shame of it?"

"I thought to preserve your mother's memory of a friend from long ago."

Addington smiled faintly. "That is noble of you," she said. "But unnecessary. Do you not know about the de Velts?"

Lista wasn't sure what she meant. "I… I know you are a great family," she said. "Your father was a great warlord."

Addington sighed faintly, taking Lista by the hand and pulling her over to a small bench that was pushed up against the wall of the stables. She sat down, taking Lista with her.

"Ask any man in Northumberland over the age of fifty years and they will all tell you the same thing about Ajax de Velt," she said quietly. "My father was a warlord of the most brutal sort. Years ago, he conquered portions of the Welsh and Scottish Marches. He confiscated several castles. He would not only defeat armies, but he would take his prisoners and ram poles through them and then prop the poles up so that there was a sea of macabre scarecrows all over the land. Kings feared my father. There are those who still spit upon the name de Velt, so although I am flattered that you think we are a noble family, the truth is that we have a very dark past."

Lista knew that, sort of. Amaury had mentioned it earlier that day and she'd known from living in Northumberland that de Velt was a name to fear, but not much beyond that.

"But your father went on to make a good name for himself, didn't he?" she said. "He raised a kind and noble family."

"Why do you say that?"

Lista smiled faintly. "Even if I knew nothing at all about your father, I do not need to know anything about him at all because you and your brother and mother have been kind and generous. That tells me all I need to know about Ajax de Velt. He has a good family."

Addington was still holding her hand, now squeezing it. "That is sweet of you to say that," she said. "But the fact remains that Julian thinks you ran from him and I told him I would get to the bottom of the situation. You didn't run from him, did you?"

Lista shook her head firmly. "Nay," she said. "He was very polite and helpful."

Addington cleared her throat softly. "That's not what I mean," she said. "I meant… you did not run from him ? From the way he is?"

"How is he?"

Addington could see that Lista had no clue what she meant. "Nay, I didn't think so," she said, relieved. "But he's had people run from him before and those who do not run will comment cruelly."

"Comment cruelly about what?"

Addington pointed to her eyes. "From this," she said quietly. "We all have our father's eyes in some fashion, but Julian's condition is more pronounced because his eyes are two different colors. He is self-conscious about it but please do not tell him that I told you. That would embarrass him."

Lista looked at her curiously. "I saw his eyes," she said. "I thought they were marvelous, like the rest of him."

Her cheeks suddenly turned bright red when she realized what she said and she lowered her gaze as Addington laughed. "You think so, do you?" she said. "He will be happy to hear that."

Lista shook her head firmly. "Nay, please do not tell him," she said. "I should not have said what I did, but…"

"Did you mean it?"

"Please do not tell him."

"Did you mean it?"

Lista wouldn't look at her, but she couldn't keep the smile off her lips as she nodded, once. "I suppose so," she said as it was practically forced out of her. "But if you tell him, I will call you a terrible liar."

Addington burst out laughing. "This is wonderful, truly," she said. "My lady, you have no idea that… well, it would mean a great deal to my brother if he knew. May I please tell him?"

Lista couldn't keep the smile off her face, but she was resolute. "He would think you were mad," she said. "He would think I was mad. I scolded him when we first met and shamed him in front of his men, yet I think he is handsome? He would not believe it."

"He would!"

Lista shook her head, squeezing Addington's hands. "Nay, my lady, please do not tell him," she said, growing serious. "I am not of his social station. Nothing could ever come of it, so there is no point in telling him. It would embarrass me and probably mortify him, so please do not say anything. Promise me."

Addington's smile faded. "What is this nonsense?" she said. "What do you mean you are not of the same social station?"

Lista shrugged. "I live with my mother and aunt in a quiet corner of Northumberland," she said simply. "My father was not a great warlord. We had no real friends or allies. Truly, we are nothing compared to the House of de Velt. When your brother marries, it should be to a woman who can bring him great status and honor. Not a woman with a drunkard for a mother. He deserves far better than what I have to offer."

By the time she was finished, Addington was looking at her with shock. There was also some sorrow in her expression were one to look closely enough.

"I cannot believe that," she said. "Are you destitute? Do you live in a cave?"

The question was somewhat sarcastic, but Addington was trying to make a point. Lista shook her head in response.

"We have a fine castle," she said. "We have rich lands and I am my father's heiress, so we are far from destitute. But we have nothing to offer beyond that. I have nothing to offer beyond that."

Addington wasn't convinced. "You are being silly," she said. "It sounds as if any man would be most honored to marry you."

"They would be wealthy and titled, but it comes with a price."

"Your mother?"

"Exactly. And that price is far too high for your brother. I would not wish it upon someone so kind."

Addington eyed the woman, but there was something going on behind those magnificent eyes.

The thoughts were churning.

"I will not tell Julian any of this under one condition," she finally said. "I want you to return to the hall with me. Eat and drink and warm yourself. Please, Lista. May I call you Lista? It is such a pretty name."

Lista nodded, her resolve being broken down by a kind and understanding young woman. "You may, of course," she said. "And I suppose it would be nice to eat and drink and be warm. But I must sit with my mother and aunt and when I am finished, we will leave."

Addington shook her head. "You will not leave," she said. "There is a chamber in the apartments next to the gatehouse that I have prepared for you myself. You will hurt my feelings if you do not stay the night."

"I would not want to hurt your feelings."

Addington's smile was back. She pulled Lista off the bench and told the grooms to unsaddle the horses. Holding Lista's hand tightly, she pulled her out into the misty, cold night.