26. Frankie

Chapter 26

Frankie

The day doesn’t just drag on, it creeps, sluggish and slow. For the first time, I wish I owned a phone to pass the time. I’ve seen Leo play those strange games, ones with little shapes, that would help time pass.

I forgot to take notes during my last class. I forgot to even pay attention. All I could think about was Nyx.

Fear churns in my stomach, making it twist and ache. Swallowing bile, I rush from class and burst through the doors. The snow’s coming down hard in big, wet flakes that make the sidewalk slippery. I have to slow down on my way to the shed, which is just great for my nerves.

I keep my head down as I walk. I can’t deal with people staring or whispering about me right now. It’s bad enough in my own head. I know what I did. I don’t know how I did what I did, just that it happened.

I want to say I’ll never try to summon a goddess again, but I don’t even know how I did it in the first place, and yet, like an addiction, the need to know more burns inside me.

The shed’s right there, and I can’t decide if I want to run into it or away from it. I hesitate, my hand on the rough wooden door.

What if I can’t do it?

What if I can, and it changes everything?

I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and push the door open. The familiar scent of earth and old tools washes over me, anchoring me to the present. Leo and Matteo are already here, their expressions a mix of concern and excitement.

Leo’s eyes light up, a crooked smile tugging at his lips. “Well, well, well, look who decided to join the party.”

I nod, not trusting my voice just yet.

Matteo steps forward, his presence solid and reassuring. “Hey,” Matteo says, eyeing me carefully, “we can call this off if you’re not up for it. No pressure.” His eyes search mine, calculating and assessing.

Part of me wants to run and hide from this new reality, but a stronger part—the part that survived Valerie and faced Nyx—stands firm.

“I’m ready,” I say, my voice steadier than the turmoil inside me. The words taste like a lie, but I swallow them down with my fear.

They exchange a glance, a silent conversation passing between them, then Leo reaches out, offering me a steaming cup of coffee.

“Here,” he says with a mischievous grin. “I thought you might need a little pick-me-up. It’s decaf. We don’t want you bouncing off the walls for your first shadow realm experience. Consider it your brew-ginning in the world of shadow manipulation.”

A snort of laughter escapes me before I can stop it, some of the tension leaving my body. The warmth of the cup seeps into my hands, anchoring me to the present moment. I take a sip, letting the rich flavor wash over my tongue, steadying my frayed nerves.

“Thanks,” I murmur, genuinely grateful for the thoughtful gesture.

Leo nods, his eyes twinkling with that familiar spark of mischief. “Ready to get started? Don’t worry, we’ll take it nice and easy. No pressure, just your average, everyday journey into a realm of darkness and mystery.”

As we’re about to start, Bishop’s face flashes in my mind. I bite my lip, hesitating. “Hey, um... what about Bishop? He said he wanted to help me with this stuff.” My stomach twists, remembering how excited he seemed about teaching me, but he’s been MIA since... well, everything. I shift uncomfortably, not sure if I’m more annoyed or hurt by his absence.

Matteo and Leo glance at each other before looking back at me. It’s Matteo who replies. “Where is he?”

My mouth drops open. It’s just a simple response, three little words, but he’s right. I haven’t actually seen or heard from Bishop.

I take another sip of coffee, its warmth calming my nerves, and nod. “Let’s do this,” I say, squaring my shoulders.

Matteo moves behind me, his presence a solid wall at my back. I have to shut down the girlie part of my brain, telling me how warm he is and how his closeness lights my body up from the inside out.

“Close your eyes,” he murmurs, his voice low and calming. “Feel the darkness. Let it wrap around you like a second skin.”

I do as he says, letting my eyelids shut. The darkness behind them seems to pulse, alive with possibility. I focus on my breath, in and out, in and out. The air presses against my skin, heavy with unseen potential.

One of them grabs the cup in my hand.

“That’s it,” Leo encourages, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “Now, reach out with your mind. Feel for the edges of this world, the places where shadow meets light. It’s like... I don’t know, trying to find a light switch in the dark. You know it’s there, but damned if you can find it when you need it.”

I furrow my brow, concentrating. At first, there’s nothing but the darkness of my closed eyes. Then, slowly, I begin to sense something else—a shimmer, a ripple in the fabric of reality.

My heart is racing, and I can’t tell if I’m scared out of my mind or weirdly excited. I swear I can taste adrenaline on my tongue, bitter and addicting.

Matteo’s voice is low and soothing as he guides me. “Focus on your shadow, Frankie. It’s your gateway, your personal door to the shadow realm. Think of it as an extension of yourself, not just a dark shape on the ground.”

I concentrate, trying to feel the edges of my own shadow, but it’s like grasping at smoke—every time I think I have it, it slips away.

“I can’t,” I growl, my frustration building. “It’s not working.”

“Patience,” Matteo urges, his calm demeanor a counterpoint to my growing agitation. “Try again. Visualize your shadow expanding and becoming a portal. It’s not just about seeing it, but feeling it.”

I grit my teeth, trying once more, but the more I push, the more elusive it becomes. My hands clench into fists at my sides.

“This is pointless!” I snap, my eyes flying open.

Before I can say more, Leo is there, his hand cupping my cheek. Without warning, he leans in and captures my lips with his own. The kiss is soft and unexpected, tasting of rich coffee and something uniquely Leo. For a moment, all thoughts of shadows and realms disappear.

When he pulls back, there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Just thought you needed a breather,” he says with an easy grin. “Sometimes you have to step back to move forward, you know?”

I blink, my brain short-circuiting for a second. “Did you just... What the hell, Leo?”

Matteo clears his throat, a mix of amusement and exasperation on his face. “Shall we try again?” he asks, his tone dry but not unkind. “Or should we wait for Leo to finish his impromptu kissing lessons?”

Cheeks flushed, I nod then close my eyes once more. This time, as I reach out with my senses, I feel... something—a coolness, a depth to my shadow that wasn’t there before. I’m close, so close...

“That’s it,” Matteo encourages, a hint of excitement creeping into his usually composed voice. “You’re almost there. Push a little further. The shadow is a part of you. Let it embrace you.”

I concentrate harder, feeling sweat bead on my forehead. The shadow seems to pulse and breathe, but at the last moment, it slips away again. I release a frustrated groan.

“One more time,” Leo says softly, his usual joking manner set aside. “You’ve got this, Frankie. Trust yourself, trust the shadows.”

Taking a deep breath, I make one final attempt. I visualize my shadow as a pool of darkness—the same thing I did when I pushed all the men who hurt me through. It was easy then, because it came instinctual. As I focus, I feel a shift, a sudden vertigo. The ground seems to tilt beneath my feet.

With a startled gasp, I stumble forward, and instead of hitting the shed’s wooden floor, I fall through into endless twilight. The air presses against my skin, thick with potential. Shadows dance at the edges of my vision, whispering secrets I can almost understand.

I did it. I’m in the shadow realm.

My eyes widen as I take in the otherworldly landscape. “Leo? Matteo?” I call out, my voice echoing with an eerie resonance.

“We’re right here,” comes Matteo’s reassuring voice from behind me. I turn to see both of them stepping through their own shadows, pride evident in their expressions.

“You did it.” Leo grins, reaching for my hand. “Welcome to the shadow realm, Frankie. First time’s always a trip, huh?”

I survey the ever-changing darkness and dynamic landscapes. The shed is almost the same as before, but instead of sun beams, there are shadow beams, and instead of dust motes, little flecks of glowing light dance in the air.

I turn to the door, my heart pounding with excitement at what I may find beyond it, then I look at the guys.

“Go on,” Leo encourages me.

I burst from the shed, my heart pounding so hard I swear the guys can hear it. The world outside... It’s like someone took reality and twisted it sideways. The campus is there, but not quite right. Everything’s bathed in this weird twilight, and the students are like ghosts, all blurry and distant.

Part of me wants to run back into the shed and hide. This is too much, too weird, but another part... It’s like I’m finally seeing clearly for the first time, like I’ve been walking around with blinders on my whole life and someone just ripped them off. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

“It’s... different,” I murmur, trying to wrap my head around what I’m seeing. The colors are all muted, like someone turned down the saturation on the world, but the shadows are something else entirely. They stretch and move in ways that don’t make sense, almost like they are breathing. “Everything feels alive,” I say, reaching out to touch a nearby shadow. It’s cool and sort of tingly, like touching static electricity. “Is it always like this? How do you guys not get distracted by... well, everything?”

Leo grins, his teeth weirdly bright in this twilight world. “You get used to it, but it never stops being awesome. Just wait until you see what happens when you try to eat something here. It’s a trip. Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet. Watch this,” he says, stepping away from us.

In one fluid motion, he shifts. One second, Leo’s there, and the next, there’s this huge black lion. It’s so dark, it’s like it’s sucking in all the light around it. The shadow lion throws its head back and roars, the sound reverberating through the air with a strange, echoing quality that sends shivers down my spine.

My mouth hangs open. Holy crap. That’s insane, and yeah, I’m a little jealous. Okay, a lot jealous. “Leo, that’s... incredible,” I murmur, reaching out to touch his shadowy mane. It’s cool and... weird, solid but kind of fluid, like touching really thick water or something.

Matteo chuckles at my reaction, a rare smile softening his features. “Just wait,” he says, a hint of pride in his voice. “With practice, you’ll be able to do even more. The shadow realm amplifies our abilities, but it also magnifies the dangers.”

As I look around, marveling at this shadow version of our world, something on the horizon catches my eye. Out over the Atlantic, dark clouds roil and churn, far more ominous than any storm I’ve seen in the normal realm.

“What... What is that?” I ask, a chill creeping down my spine.

Matteo’s expression darkens as he moves to stand beside me. “That,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “is what we’re fighting against—the death of the realm creeping closer with every breath we take.”

I strain my eyes, trying to make sense of the churning darkness. “It’s... It’s alive?”

Leo shifts back to his human form, his usual smile replaced by a grim set to his jaw. “Worse. It’s hungry.”

Red lightning cracks across the sky, and I jump. It doesn’t boom like normal lightning, it... screams. The sound makes my skin crawl.

“It’s getting worse,” I murmur, unable to tear my eyes away from the nightmarish storm.

Matteo nods, his hand a steadying weight on my shoulder. “It is, but that’s why we’re here and why we’re training you.” His eyes lock onto mine, intense and unwavering. “I know there is a way to push it back and restore balance.” There is sadness in his voice before he turns back to me. “Are you ready to learn what it truly means to be a shadow shifter?”

I blink, taken aback. “Shift? But I can’t... I’m not...” I trail off, shaking my head. “I don’t have an animal form like Leo.”

Matteo’s expression doesn’t waver. “Come on, Frankie. Those wolves of yours? They are not just pets, they are you. Always have been.”

I feel a jolt of surprise. How does he know about that? “Yes, but... they are not me. They are separate. They protect me.”

“They are you,” Matteo says gently, his tone firm but understanding. “They are a part of you that you’ve always viewed as separate. That’s the problem—you’re seeing yourself as separate identities, not as a whole.”

I furrow my brow, trying to process this. “But...”

“Call to them,” Matteo urges, his usual stoic demeanor giving way to intensity. “They are here, in this realm. They are you. Reach out.”

Hesitantly, I close my eyes. I think of my wolves, my constant guardians, and to my surprise, I feel a connection I’ve never fully acknowledged before.

I hear a growl, and my eyes snap open. Holy shit. My wolves are here, but they are... different, all shadowy and weird, with glowing red eyes. It’s cool and creepy at the same time. They are made of the same inky darkness as Leo’s lion form, their eyes glowing red with an inner light.

“They... They are here,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Matteo nods, satisfaction evident in his stance. “They’ve always been here, Frankie. They are you. Your strength, your instincts, your will to survive… You’ve kept them separate, but to truly master your abilities, you need to become whole.”

I look at my wolves, really look at them. For the first time, I see myself reflected in their eyes, in the set of their shoulders, and in the tilt of their heads. They are me, in all my complexity.

“How?” I ask, my voice thick with emotion.

“Embrace them,” Matteo says, his tone gentler now. “Don’t think of them as separate entities. They are aspects of you, waiting to be integrated.”

I take a deep breath and reach out to my wolves. As my hands touch their shadowy fur, a surge of energy courses through me, both terrifying and exhilarating.

“That’s it,” Leo encourages. “Let go of the boundaries you’ve created and become who you were always meant to be.”

I close my eyes, trying to focus. The wolves, my protectors... my strength. They are... me? The idea feels weird, like trying to fit into clothes that are too small, but as I concentrate, something clicks. Warmth spreads through me, starting in my chest and flowing out to my fingertips. It’s me, it’s always been me.

The world starts to tilt and spin. I panic for a second, thinking I’m going to fall, but then... everything changes. When I open my eyes, the world looks different—lower and sharper. Holy crap, I can smell everything. It’s overwhelming and amazing all at once.

I try to ask what happened, but all that comes out is a soft whine. I shifted. I’m a freaking wolf. Part of me wants to freak out, but another part... It feels right, like I’ve finally found a piece of myself I didn’t know was missing.

Matteo kneels beside me, his hand gently stroking my furry head. “Welcome to your true self, Frankie,” he says softly, a rare warmth in his voice.

Another bolt of red lightning illuminates the sky, stretching across the Atlantic. It’s almost beautiful in its destruction, but a pang of sadness washes through me. All my life, I’ve been searching for home, and now that I’ve found it, the threat of losing it looms over me.