12. Ell-rom

12

ELL-ROM

" I hope so."

Ell-rom hoped that he had been taught skills that could be useful in this world. He didn't want to be a burden on his sister.

Annani had promised to come see him again, but no one had told him to expect visitors today. She was probably busy with more important things than visiting her half-brother, who had turned out to be a big disappointment.

Instead of the powerful compeller she had expected, she had gotten a weakling who needed to be nursed back to health and kept her medical staff away from others who might need their services.

"What's that glum face about?" Jasmine asked.

"I hate being weak and dependent so fully on others. I can't even go to the bathroom without Julian's help. I try to inconvenience him as little as possible, and I only call him when I can't hold it anymore, but even that is too much."

"Oh, Ell-rom." Jasmine stopped, forcing him to stop as well. "It's okay to need others from time to time." She cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes. "Helping you is making me feel like a better person, and it does the same to everyone else who's involved with your recovery. So, in a way, you're helping us feel good about ourselves and become better people. And one day, when you are back to being strong and your memories have returned, you will find ways to pay it forward." She chuckled. "I know you don't understand the expression. It means that you will help others, giving back to the universe in payment for what you have received."

He tilted his head. "It's a beautiful sentiment. Is this part of the spiritual teachings you grew up on?"

She snorted. "Not at all. I did not grow up with any spiritual teaching. My father was a devout atheist. When I became an adult, I found my path to the goddess, and I learned that in order to receive good things from the universe, you need to send out positivity first. It doesn't need to be anything big. It can be as small as smiling at someone for no reason and brightening their day a little. Or it can be sitting with a friend and letting her vent her worries without passing judgment. There are many ways to do good."

"That is a beautiful philosophy." Looking into her eyes was mesmerizing. There was a hypnotic quality to the gold flecks swirling around her irises, and he found himself lost in them.

"Ell-rom," she said softly. "Are you tired?"

"No. I was just thinking that sitting by an unconscious male and singing and talking to him to pull him out of the abyss is also one of those positive deeds."

"Yes, but that was not as selfless as all that." She cast him a bright smile. "You are my prince. I found you, and I hoped you would wake up, take one look at me, and fall hopelessly in love with me."

"Then you have gotten your wish."

"Oh, Ell-rom." She leaned toward him and brushed a soft kiss on his lips. "I love to hear you say that, but I don't want to take advantage of you, and right now, it's gratitude talking. You don't even know what love is."

"Then you need to tell me. You are the one with all the life experience that I lack."

A shadow passed over her eyes. "I'm not sure I am qualified. Maybe we will figure it out together."

She resumed walking, and he had no choice but to follow. "Have you never been in love before?"

"I thought I was. Many times, but I always realized that it was just an infatuation. I've never really been in love." She slanted a look at him. "You are going to be my first."

His heart squeezed so hard that, for a moment, he couldn't catch his breath. "Going to be? Don't you have feelings for me now?"

"Of course I do, silly. But we have just met, and even though the seeds of these feelings are strong and robust, they need time and space to grow. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

He nodded. "You are right. I'm acting like a young boy."

"I think it's sweet." She leaned over and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "I love that you are so inexperienced, so innocent. Teaching you is exciting."

She'd called him innocent, but was he?

He might have never been with a female in a carnal way, but he might have done bad things that he couldn't remember. It wasn't that he felt unexplained guilt because he didn't, but there was some unease. He knew that hidden among his memories would be things he would have preferred to forget.

When they reached the end of the long corridor, and he turned the walker around for the return journey, the exertion was starting to take its toll on him, but he tried to hide it. If he wanted to get stronger fast, he needed to push himself.

"Where are the living quarters?" he asked. "Are they on those other levels you mentioned?"

He knew that Jasmine had a bedroom in the building, but he didn't know where it was.

She shook her head. "Maybe a few are on one of the underground levels, but most people live on the floors above, the ones that have windows to the outside. Many of Kian's people used to live in this building, but they moved to a different place a while ago."