50. Ell-rom

50

ELL-ROM

E ll-rom settled into the warm water of the bathtub with Jasmine's soft form pressed against him. The steam rose around them, carrying the subtle scent of lavender from the bath oils she had added.

Her words of love still echoed in his mind, soothing away the fears and doubts that had plagued him earlier, but the biggest boost to his confidence was the way she'd looked at him when he had removed his clothes.

She hadn't looked at him with worry or pity.

She looked at him with desire in her eyes.

"This is nice," he murmured, his voice low and content.

"Yes, it is, and just so we are clear, this is not about sex."

"It isn't?" he teased as if it was her putting up barriers and not him with his irrational fears.

"No, it's not." Jasmine's hands moved gently over his skin, spreading soap in slow, circular motions. "This is about closeness and trust."

Something inside of him eased at her words. He needed those even more than he needed to finally lose his virginity. Even without remembering much about his life, he knew that those two things had been missing from it. He and Morelle had only ever had each other, and they had trusted no one.

"I like that."

"Me too." Jasmine's fingers traced the contours of his shoulders. "I love being close to you like this."

He turned, cupping her face in his hand and bringing her in for a soft kiss. The passion that could sweep them away lurked just below the surface, but they both knew that letting it steal the moment would be a mistake.

Love, closeness, and trust had to take root first, and there was no reason to rush.

When they parted, Jasmine licked her lips. "I want to explain about the other night when I panicked for a moment."

Ell-rom tensed, remembering the fear he'd seen in her eyes. "You don't have to explain anything. It was my fault. I scared you, and I'm sorry for that."

She'd recoiled from him, and he'd hurt her by trying to prevent her from leaving. What had possessed him to do that? He had been lost to lust and hadn't been thinking at all. Instinct had taken over, and he'd reacted.

Perhaps he had been taught about the Kra-ell savage mating ritual and had subconsciously absorbed the message that he was supposed to overpower his mate.

Jasmine shook her head. "None of that was your fault, and you didn't scare me."

"You thought that I was about to bite you and wanted to get away from me, but I restrained you like some savage Kra-ell."

Jasmine sighed. "It's true that I thought you were about to bite me, and it's also true that I was trying to get away from you, but not for the reason you think. I was just afraid of blacking out in the bathtub, and we still don't know what your reaction to your first time will be like. Best to be away from the water for that. I was afraid of drowning in the bathtub, not of the bite. I know how pleasurable it is. " She smiled apologetically. "I had an immortal lover, remember? I was with Edgar throughout most of the trip to Tibet."

A twinge of jealousy shot through him at the mention of Edgar's name, but Ell-rom pushed it down. Jasmine had already assured him of her love and commitment, and Edgar was in her past. It didn't matter if the guy still had feelings for her and might jump at the first hint of acceptance she would send his way.

Ell-rom trusted Jasmine and believed in her love for him.

She placed a hand on his chest. "Don't be jealous. I had fun with Edgar, but he was just one more in a long list of lovers. As much as I enjoyed most of them physically, I never loved any of them. Not the way I love you. Completely and irrevocably."

His heart skipped a beat at her words, and he covered her hand with his own. "Completely and irrevocably, that's how I love you too."

Her smile was brilliant. "You are my first love, and you'll be my last because I'm never leaving you. I'll never love any other male apart from you." A mischievous glint entered her eye. "Well, except for the son or sons we will have."

The casual mention of a future child sent a jolt through Ell-rom.

A son?

The idea of having a family with Jasmine was both thrilling and terrifying. He had nothing to offer her other than himself, and unless Annani found something for him to do, his prospects were not good. He had to find his place in this new world before he could father a child and raise it.

Jasmine must have noticed the panic rising in his eyes because she leaned in, pressing a reassuring kiss to his lips. "Relax, my love," she murmured against his mouth. "Life isn't a sprint, it's a long walk, and we'll take it one step at a time."

Ell-rom nodded. "In my case, I need to learn how to walk before I can run. I have no skills, no prospects, and no way to provide for a family."

Jasmine traced her fingers over his skin in a soothing, circular pattern. "Immortals and gods are not very fertile, so it might take centuries until we become parents."

That was a relief and a disappointment at the same time.

The idea of having a family was incredibly alluring to him, even though he knew nothing about what it entailed. To him, it seemed like a circle of love that expanded with each additional child, and he realized that he was a glutton for love. He wanted more of what he felt for Jasmine and what she felt for him.

He wanted to bask in love, to be cocooned in it.