17. Ell-rom

17

ELL-ROM

E ll-rom drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair as he waited for the video call to connect.

When Julian had called the therapist, the medic hadn't expected her to be immediately available to help, and neither had Ell-rom. She surprised them both when she told Julian that she was just finishing a meeting and would call Ell-rom right away.

It had been a few minutes, and Ell-rom was impatient, not because he was eager to talk to a stranger about his embarrassing problem but because he wanted it to be over, hopefully after being solved.

As the screen finally flickered to life, it revealed a beautiful blond woman with kind eyes and a warm smile.

"Hello, Ell-rom," she said, her voice carrying a soothing quality even through the speakers. "I'm Vanessa, the clan's psychologist, and I'm so excited to meet you, even if it's through a video call. It's an unexpected pleasure. I thought I would have to wait for you to arrive in the village for us to get to know each other, but here we are." She pushed her hair behind her ear. "Luckily, I had my earpieces upgraded with the new Kra-ell translation capability, or this would not have been possible. I only know a few Kra-ell words and definitely not enough to conduct a conversation."

"Hello." Ell-rom returned her warm smile to the best of his ability, given how nervous he was. "Thank you for speaking with me. Julian didn't expect you to be available right away, and neither did I, so I didn't prepare what I wanted to discuss."

"That's fine. Just let it flow, and we will piece it together. I actually prefer that to a rehearsed speech." She smiled. "This is about emotions, Ell-rom, not logic or eloquence, and emotions are messy."

It was comforting to hear her say that. "My problem is an aversion to blood." She'd said to just let it flow, and she was right. It made things easier. "The aversion is so strong that I can't bring myself to bite anyone, not for pleasure and not in defense, and as I am sure you can imagine, that's a serious problem for a male. God, immortal, or Kra-ell."

Vanessa nodded. "I certainly can see how this could be a problem. Before we begin, though, you should know that I'm mated to a Kra-ell pureblood, so I'm familiar with both sides of your heritage."

"That's good to know. Have you ever encountered anyone with this kind of aversion?"

She shook her head. "I have not, but all phobias share commonalities, and therefore can benefit from similar treatments. What is it about blood that you find offensive, and how does your aversion manifest?"

Ell-rom took a deep breath, steeling himself. "It's everything about it. The sight of it, the smell, and mostly the taste of it. All make me feel ill."

Vanessa nodded. "I see. And how long have you been aware of this aversion?"

Did she know that he had amnesia?

He probably should tell her just in case she didn't.

"I woke up from stasis not remembering anything about my former life, so naturally, I wasn't aware of having an aversion to anything. When Bridget asked me about my food preferences, it became obvious that I prefer a plant-based diet, but we assumed that it was because my sister and I couldn't get any cooked food in the temple while pretending to be Kra-ell. But then I dreamt about accidentally taking a sip from a goblet filled with blood that I was only supposed to hold and pretend to be drinking from. In the dream, I ran to my bedroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. After that, the head priestess admonished me for endangering my sister and myself."

"Was it some sort of a Kra-ell ceremony that you participated in? One that required drinking blood from a goblet?"

Ell-rom tried to remember more details from the dream, but there wasn't enough to determine what had been going on. "Everyone held a goblet, including my sister, but I don't know if it was a religious ceremony or a celebration or why we were there. I guess it had something to do with our mother, and that's why we had to attend. I wish I remembered more."

"That's okay," Vanessa said. "Let's focus on the present. Can you describe to me what happens when you encounter blood? What physical sensations do you experience?"

"I have not encountered blood since waking up from stasis. The closest I came was attending a meal with people who were eating cooked meat. The smell was not pleasant to me, but it was not revolting. It's the memory of how it tasted, how it smelled, and the viscosity of it that makes me nauseous." He swallowed. "Just talking about it now makes my stomach turn. I feel light-headed, and I just broke into a cold sweat."

"Those are all common reactions in phobias and aversions," Vanessa explained. "What we're going to do is work on desensitizing you to these triggers and teach you coping mechanisms to manage your reactions."

"Thank you. I would appreciate anything you could do to lessen those reactions."