4. Stella

Hours later and I'm still thinking about that kiss. Even though neither of us has mentioned it, it's like an elephant sitting between us.

Or maybe it's just me.

Maybe I'm the only one dwelling on it.

When I stifle a yawn, Riggs leans closer, his warm breath stirring the hair near my ear. "Ready for bed? It's after midnight."

The low scrape of his voice has my belly doing a strange little flip flop.

Or maybe it's the question itself.

Although, it shouldn't. The two of us sharing a bed isn't new or a big deal. We've done it plenty of times before.

And yet…

It feels like a huge deal.

And I don't want it to.

I don't want anything to change between us.

Once you sleep with someone, the dynamics in your relationship shift. There's no way to stop it from happening. It's inevitable.

As much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, our connection has morphed into something new. Something different. It's like one day I suddenly noticed the way his joggers were slung low on his lean hips or how a chunk of his hair hung in his eyes. Whenever those little sparks of attraction flared to life, I've been diligent about stomping them out and pretending they never happened. For the most part, it hasn't been a problem.

Unfortunately, that kiss has blown my carefully constructed fa?ade to smithereens, and I have no idea how to put the pieces back together again.

Or if it's even possible at this point.

Every time he says something, my gaze roves over his face, taking in all the subtle changes adulthood has wrought, before dipping to his mouth. The way his tongue will peek through his lips makes my panties flood with undeniable heat.

Someone needs to explain how one tiny kiss has rocked the very foundation of our friendship.

It doesn't make sense.

"Stell?"

I blink out of those thoughts and refocus my attention on Riggs. His head is cocked and he's staring at me with a heavy-lidded look. It's almost as if he knows exactly what's circling through my head.

Heat stings my cheeks.

How embarrassing would that be?

That kiss probably meant absolutely nothing to him and here I am, obsessing about it like a loser, because when it comes down to it…I can't remember the last time I locked lips with someone and it blew my world apart.

Have I ever been knocked off balance like that?

I almost wince, privately acknowledging the harsh truth to myself.

The only consolation I have is that there's been a long string of lousy dates in my not-so-distant past. Including the one tonight. That has to be the reason all these weird feelings have been roused, right?

It's embarrassing to realize that I have to redirect my thoughts for a second time. "Yeah?"

"I asked if you're ready to hit the sheets." A smirk curls around the edges of his lips.

For some reason, that question makes me feel even more tense. Like a tightly wound spring just waiting to go off.

As difficult as it is, I tear my gaze away from his and glance around the living room. With the late hour, the crowd has thinned. Maybe the best course of action would be to crash at Juliette's apartment. A little time and distance from Riggs would probably be enough to set everything to rights again.

Except…

Neither she nor Carina are anywhere to be found. When did they take off? And how didn't I notice?

Ugh. I'm stuck here. Guilt suffuses me because I don't mean it that way. Under normal circumstances, I love spending time with Riggs. But right now, it feels like we're in this really weird place and it's exactly where I don't want to be.

Left without any other recourse, I say, "Yup. I'm super tired. I'm sure I'll be out as soon as my head hits the pillow." At least, that's my hope. I just want to put tonight firmly behind us.

As soon as the words leave my lips, he pops to his feet and pulls me up. Before I realize it, he's dragging me through the crowd to the staircase and then up to the second floor. A handful of moments later, we're in his room. I stare at the queen-sized bed that dominates the space. I'm always popping over and hanging out, and this is the first time I've been hyperaware of it.

My hands tremble as I beeline for my duffle and rifle through it. Once my fingers lock around the soft cotton of my tank top, I hightail it to the safety of the bathroom. As soon as I slip inside and close the door, I lean against it and squeeze my eyelids tightly closed.

I really need to get a hold of myself. I'm acting like a twenty-one-year-old virgin who's never been within five feet of a boy before, and that's not who I am.

I need to stop dwelling on that kiss.

It didn't mean anything.

We were playing a stupid game.

It takes a full five minutes to wrangle my emotions back under control. By then, I realize I was right—all I needed was a bit of distance. The entire night, Riggs had his arm slung around my shoulders. The beachy scent of his cologne had slyly tangled around me, inundating my senses until I'd wanted to inhale a big breath of him.

It had just been too much.

It's almost laughable how wound up I got about it.

Ridiculous, even.

I'm sure in the morning, we'll both have a good chuckle.

That's what friends do, right?

Exactly.

It's only when I step back inside the room and catch sight of Riggs wearing nothing more than form-fitting, black boxer briefs that the tangle of my emotions crashes over me like a tidal wave, and I realize I'm in big trouble.

There's absolutely no way I'm going to forget about that lip lock or the sun-kissed flesh now on display.

Holy crap.

When the hell did Riggs get so muscly?

From where I'm standing, even his muscles have muscles.

Does this guy spend every waking minute in the gym?

As much as I should avert my eyes, I can't stop the way my hungry gaze licks over every delectable inch.

Neither of us moves or says a word. It's only when his gaze dips to my chest that I realize my nips are standing at attention. It's like a bolt of electricity sliding through me, sparking every cell to life. That's all the impetus I need to get my ass in gear and dive headfirst onto the bed before scampering beneath the covers. When I've drawn them up to my chin, I chance another peek at him.

God, I'm acting like such a ninny.

My heartbeat hitches when Riggs walks around to my side of the bed and stops to stare down at me. It would be impossible not to notice that I'm eye level with his package.

And it's…bigger than I imagined.

Not that I've, you know, thought about his package.

Much.

Argh.

This is bad.

"Do you need anything before I turn out the light?"

I shake my head. I'm much too afraid to open my mouth. I'm terrified that my voice will be nothing more than an unintelligible squeak that will give me away.

Look away from his dick, you little perv.

This is your bestie.

But I can't. It's like a horrific traffic accident.

My core contracts as another burst of heat floods my panties.

It's tempting to reach out and run my fingers over him. I tighten them until the rounded nails bite into my palms so I don't do exactly that.

Can you even imagine what would happen if I touched him?

I'd never be able to look my bestie in the eyes again.

A strange concoction of relief and disappointment spirals through me when he swings away. My gaze stays glued to his ass.

Hot damn, he has a nice backside.

A handful of seconds later the light is clicked off, plunging the room into blessed darkness, and he's sliding beneath the sheets. I close my eyes and will myself to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. With any luck, I'll feel more like myself in the morning, and I can put all this nonsense behind me.

Behind us.

We can get back to normal.

"Stell?"

My eyes pop open as I stare up at the ceiling rather than at him. "Yeah?"

"You're not going to see that bozo again, are you?"

I snort out a laugh. It's enough to break the sexual tension, which is a welcome relief.

"No. I've already deleted him. In fact, I'll be deleting the app altogether."

"Good. You deserve way better." His tone dips. "I hope you realize that."

My heart softens as I roll toward him. I'm just able to make out his handsome features in the darkness. It's only then that I realize his eyes are already locked on me.

"Thanks."

He scoots closer until I'm able to feel the heat of his practically naked body. Air gets wedged at the back of my throat as he balances on his elbow and hovers over me.

His steady gaze sifts through mine in the darkness. "I'm serious, Stella. You deserve a man who's going to make you his first priority."

My heartbeat stutters.

Almost as if in slow motion, his face looms closer until his lips can drift over mine. Unlike earlier, I open immediately so that the velvety softness of his tongue can invade my mouth.

There's nothing rushed or frenzied about how the caress unfolds. I don't realize until the heat of his skin nearly singes my palms that they've settled against his chest. The hard slabs of muscle tighten beneath my fingers. It's so tempting to let them wander.

The kiss seems to stretch forever. He angles his head one way and then another. That's all it takes for me to lose track of both time and space. When Riggs finally pulls away, I realize we're both breathing hard.

That's the moment reality crashes over me. It's like a bucket of frigid water dumped over my head. I mutter a quick goodnight before rolling away onto my side. My muscles fill with tension as I silently wonder where our friendship goes from here.

Maybe I should broach the subject…

I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.

It feels like our entire relationship is careening out of control.

It's almost a relief when his breathing turns deep and even.

That kiss…

I clench my thighs together, attempting to stymie the arousal that has once again flared to life deep in my core.

The only thing I know for certain is that tonight is going to be a long night.