Chapter 8

Elizabeth's happy laughter reverberated through the grove, infusing the air with happiness and alleviating his torment. "Mr. Collins proposed to me a mere three days before he proposed to Charlotte. It was the day after the ball. I have never heard a worse proposal …" Elizabeth stopped for a moment and darted a glance at Mr. Darcy, and was surprised to see him blanch at that. "I refused him three or four times, but he insisted that it was the habit of ‘elegant young ladies' to at first reject a proposal for some reason that I have forgotten. Regardless, I am not certain he ever actually asked me to marry him; rather, he assumed I would accept since my mother championed the match. He did not give me an opening to speak, so I finally had to interrupt him so I could tell him no. He did not listen. Finally, I had heard enough and walked away, leaving him to seek out my mother and my father. Mama insisted I change my mind and tried to convince Papa to command me to accept him, but he would not."

Darcy sat back down beside her and gathered her in his arms. "I do not know what I would have done had I arrived here and found you married to that … fool. I am not going to say I did not struggle, Elizabeth. Had I not, I would have been on your doorstep in December. I have wrestled with what I thought my parents wished for me and ultimately decided they would have wanted me to be happy. Money and connections do not matter and if Lord and Lady Matlock are displeased with my choice, then they will be displeased. I do not care."

"And your sister? And your cousin?" Elizabeth asked.

"Georgiana is thrilled with the idea of a sister and with you specifically, and she is anxiously awaiting the day I bring you home. Richard wanted me to be certain that I knew what I was doing and that I had not been taken in by a fortune hunter. He was easily convinced that you are the best thing to ever happen to me."

Elizabeth pulled out of his embrace and quirked her brow at him. "Are you certain of that, William?"

He nodded, his heart beating wildly in his chest. "I am. I need you in my life, Elizabeth. I need someone who has no qualms about challenging me when I am wrong. You have already formed me into a better person, whether you realise it or not."

"I had no notion of doing so, sir, and I will say that, if you changed, it was you who worked that. We cannot change others, only ourselves."

Darcy grinned. "I will not argue with you about that, but will say that you were the catalyst for my change. I saw myself through your eyes and found I did not like what I saw."

Elizabeth began to ask for an explanation, but a sound startled them and caused them to separate further. Darcy pulled out his pocket watch and frowned at it, remarking that it was growing late. "My aunt will expect me at breakfast. I will be busy reviewing the accounts much of the day, but Richard already mentioned that he intends to visit the parsonage this afternoon."

"We will meet again tomorrow morning?" she asked. He nodded in acknowledgement, and grudgingly the two parted.

The two met dailyfor the first fortnight of Darcy's visit. Darcy and Fitzwilliam only intended to remain that long, but since Elizabeth had another fortnight of her own visit remaining, Darcy extended his own trip by half that. "As much as I would wish to convey you to your aunt and uncle's in my carriage, I am not certain that is wise. I do not like your travelling post, though I am pleased your uncle is sending a manservant to accompany you."

Elizabeth smiled indulgently at him. "I will be well, William. Maria Lucas will accompany me, and it is not the first time I will have travelled in this way. I am not sure what I will be returning to. Do you know if Mr. Bingley ever managed to visit my sister? I have not heard from her in several days."

Darcy pressed his lips together in a tight line. "He has not. I cannot understand him at all. At the very least, he confirmed that he informed the housekeeper that he will return to Netherfield on the first of May. That is only a few days after your own return, is it not?"

She acknowledged that it was. "Will Miss Bingley be journeying to Netherfield with her brother?"

"She will not. I told Bingley that if his sister accompanied him, I would stay at the inn in Meryton or find another house to lease. He is entirely too unwilling to stand up to his sister, so he is sending her to a house party near Bath so he can sneak away to Netherfield."

Elizabeth raised her brow, concern clearly written on her face. "He is sneaking away to his own house?"

Darcy grimaced. "Perhaps ‘sneak' is the wrong word, though, yes, he does not intend to tell his sisters that he is returning. As I understand it, Miss Bingley has been … difficult, and I think this is the reason he has not visited your sister in London."

"Is he going to disappoint my sister?" she asked bluntly.

Heaving a sigh, Darcy stepped away from her and scrubbed his hand down his face. "I am unsure. I thought he intended to return to Hertfordshire, but when I arrived in London at the end of February, he was still there and waiting for me to accompany him. Obviously, I had this obligation to visit my aunt and told him I would join him after."

Elizabeth cocked her head to one side. "William, I do not understand your friendship with Mr. Bingley. The way you describe it, it seems he is completely dependent on you. Is he not capable of making decisions for himself?"

For a moment, Darcy thought to defend his friend, but came up short. He could not think of any excuse to offer. While, yes, Bingley had taken Netherfield without consulting him, he had only done so because Darcy had recommended the estate initially. Ever since they met, Bingley had spoken of purchasing an estate, though Darcy and Hurst had both suggested he lease one to gain experience before purchasing it outright. After several conversations, Darcy sent out inquiries and found several options for estates to lease and gave them to Bingley. He selected the first one, the one that Darcy thought the most promising.

Within just a few days, Bingley travelled to Netherfield to view the house, spoke to the agent, and signed a two-year lease, informing his friend and family upon his return to town. Darcy explained this to Elizabeth before replying to her question.

"Until this moment, I had not realised how much he had grown to rely on my advice. On several occasions, I have spoken to him about his allowing his sisters too much say in his life, but I had not considered my own influence," he confessed. "I am uncertain what he would do if there was no one there to force him to decide for himself."

"Now that you recognise your part in this, perhaps you can find a way to step back from him, to allow him time to grow up. Jane is also too complying, and they will never make a decision if one or both of them do not learn how to do so."

Closing his eyes, Darcy nodded, raking his fingers through his hair as he paced in front of her. "For my entire adult life, people have come to me to make decisions for them. Every day, I am required to make decisions that affect hundreds of people, between the servants and tenants at Pemberley and my other properties. That does not even take into account those who do not live on the estate but are affected by its prosperity. It is as natural to me as breathing. I had not considered that I was treating Bingley as I did my retainers at Pemberley."

"So, when Mr. Bingley or another friend comes to you with a problem, your instinct is to fix it, am I right?" Elizabeth asked. When Darcy nodded, she continued. "What role will your wife play in making these decisions?"

Darcy stopped in his tracks. "Elizabeth, I thought we had spoken about this. I want you to be my partner, to help me make decisions. You have more or less run Longbourn the last several years, and while Pemberley is somewhat larger, I look forward to discussing these matters with you."

"But you are in the habit of making decisions without consulting anyone? How will I fit into that?"

He sighed again. "I am uncertain how to do that. Over the last several years, I have not had to consult with anyone, have not wanted to do so. Georgiana was too young, but Elizabeth, I have spoken to you about several matters already, have I not? I am not saying that I will never forget to consult you, but I do want your opinions."

Elizabeth smiled at him. "And I appreciate that, William. I will do my best to remind you and not grow angry if you fail to consult me, but I reserve the right to make my displeasure known."

Darcy smiled broadly at her, showing his dimples, thrilled when Elizabeth blushed in response. "I look forward to it. Somehow, I know that your anger will only serve to make you even lovelier."

His jaw clenched, as a memory struck him. "Elizabeth, do you believe that dreams can, at times, be prophetic?"

"I am uncertain." She hesitated a moment, seeming uncertain before she blurted out, "Throughout the winter, I had recurring dreams about meeting you here in Kent. I do not think the events in the dream will come true, not now, and have often wondered if the dream was a warning or a message, or something else entirely."

His eyes flashed to hers, and he came to stand next to her. "Tell me about your dream," he said, his voice rough.

She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. "You proposed to me, and we argued, heatedly. It was awful."

"I outlined all my objections to you, and you threw my separating your sister and my friend into my face. And Wickham," he bit out, and Elizabeth's eyes flew to his.

"How—" she stammered.

"I think I had the same dream," he replied quietly, feeling almost winded at this realisation that they had both dreamt the same thing. "I was uncertain of its meaning, but it was the reason I told Bingley that I was wrong about your sister and encouraged him to return to Netherfield. It was why I warned people in Meryton about Wickham."

"The dream made me reconsider what I knew of you. When you left Netherfield, I thought I hated you and that my feeling was returned. I had to reevaluate everything I knew of you," she said.

"It made me realise how selfish I had been. I have never been comfortable in society, but I did not realise how poorly I treated others until the dream version of you pointed out all my faults. Night after night, I heard you accuse me of arrogance, conceit, and a selfish disdain for the feelings of others. And in the day, those words echoed in my head. I had to rethink everything I thought I knew and I have striven to be better. I will never be a social person, but I will attempt to do better. For myself and for you, my love."

Elizabeth smiled tenderly at him and reached out and touched his cheek. "Your goodness was always there, William. You are a good man, have always been a good man. Perhaps a bit misguided at times, and you will never be the most sociable of persons, but I think, in essentials, you are very much as you have always been. I was too blind to see you as you were because you had insulted my vanity."

"Forgive me, dearest," he whispered, pulling her into his embrace and caressing her cheek with his hand. "That dream haunts me, and even though I know I am no longer that man, I have been hesitant to say too much. What you said to me in my dream … I deserved every bit of it. However, I am to depart in two days, and though I know I will see you again, I wanted to have things settled between us. Elizabeth, you know that I ardently admire and love you. I want no other as my wife. I know that in marrying you, I am gaining a bride of unequalled worth. You are my superior in every way that matters, and I will allow none to speak ill of you. Please, my darling girl, please say you will be my wife."

"I will, William. I would be honoured to marry the best man I have ever known. I love you."

"Elizabeth," he breathed, "we have gone about this whole thing in an unusual manner, I am afraid. But, since you have truly accepted my proposal, might I ask to seal our resolve with a kiss?"

Her cheeks heated. "I am uncertain, William. I … I have never been kissed before."

"And I have never wanted to kiss a woman as desperately as I want to kiss you, Elizabeth," he whispered.

"How many women have you kissed?" she inquired, taking a step back, causing him to relinquish his hold of her. She stared at him with a curious yet slightly accusing expression.

He contemplated the matter for a moment. "Two," he replied, grinning. "No, three." At a look from her, he elaborated. "My mother, Georgiana, and I believe a kiss on the cheek from Mrs. Reynolds, Pemberley's housekeeper, once or twice."

She pinched his arm. "I did not mean that kind of kiss. I meant the kinds of kisses between husbands and wives, William."

"None before you, Elizabeth," he said earnestly. "I grew up with Wickham taking advantage of whomever he could. He taunted me because I did not act in the same manner. Many of my peers at Eton and Cambridge acted similarly, but I never did. I cleaned up too many of his messes to want to be like Wickham. When my father passed away, I was too busy, and I had a young sister to watch over. I could not imagine taking advantage of any woman in such a way."

"I confess that I am relieved." She hid her head bashfully before finally answering. "Yes, William, I would happily seal our agreement with a kiss."

He reached out to take her chin in his hand and lifted her face to look at him. Lifting his other hand to her face, he gently cupped her cheek. His heart was beating madly, and he knew she could feel it where her hands rested on his chest. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips descended on hers.

The kiss lasted only a moment before he drew back slightly and opened his eyes. Seeing Elizabeth's eyes still closed, he leaned in and kissed her again, moving his lips along hers, following his natural inclination. She responded in kind, and this kiss lasted several moments before they both pulled away.

"That was lovely," she whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"It was," he murmured in a husky voice. "I did not want to stop."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and stepped back. "It is getting late. I will be missed soon at the parsonage."

"Yes," he reluctantly replied, as his arms fell to his sides. "And now separating from you will be so much more difficult. I could delay my departure from Rosings."

Boldly, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He had to bend a little once he realised her intention and smiled at her lovingly. "It will be that much harder to hide from your aunt and my cousin as well, my darling William. No, you should keep to your schedule, though I may write to my uncle and see if he can send his servant a day or two sooner. Perhaps Maria and I can cut our visit short by a day or two. I can ask Jane to claim some sort of emergency that requires my presence in London sooner."

"I would like to meet your aunt and uncle, if it might be arranged for me to visit them while you are in town. Or before you arrive, if it would hurry your journey to London," Darcy said.

She beamed at him. "Tomorrow morning, I will bring you a note for my uncle. You can tell him of our understanding even if it will not be official until you can speak to my father," she said, then hesitated. "There is one reason I am glad you will not return to Netherfield with me. I will need to speak to my father about you before you arrive. I am afraid I was rather vocal in my initial dislike of you, following the assembly, and while my understanding of you changed even before I left for Kent, I did not say as much to my father. He may be rather surprised by your request otherwise."

Darcy nodded. "I understand. Your understanding of me changed, but without knowing if the dreams were real, you did not want to say anything. I have … well, I have not said anything to anyone about my dreams. I told Richard in January that I would offer for you when I saw you again, and while I was almost certain I would see you here, there was still a chance it was simply a dream."

"We must go," she said reluctantly.

He pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I love you, Elizabeth," he said.

"As I love you, William."