Chapter Four

Arya

“ Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. ”

I never once thought that I would find the need to apply my favorite quote in real life. The famous words of playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe are what a former teacher used to start all his lessons with. I bet Mr. Grunewald would be mortified to learn how I’ve chosen to apply those words.

No, he probably expected us to go forth into the world and apply boldness in our professions, not in getting the attention of the man we’re in love with.

But it’s working.

Jax is in front of me, my wrists clasped in his hand and lips tingling from the kiss. My first kiss and…it was perfect.

The first time I read about kissing, I couldn’t take my eyes off the page. I was in a library then too, and I remember kicking my feet excitedly as I read the scene over and over again. I replaced the names on the page and imagined I was kissing a man who was thousands of miles away from me. There was a whole ocean between Jax and I, but that didn’t stop me from constantly thinking about the man.

Thinking about sharing my first kiss with him.

I never actually thought it would happen, but it has. Jax just kissed me. Jax is turned on…because of me.

I caused that.

I made him hard.

Now I am afraid to blink and lose this moment in case it’s a dream. I can’t look away from his perfect face when it is so close to mine. My body aches for his touch. His hand is still on my aching tit, fondling it in his massive palm and causing my panties to grow wet with arousal. I have felt this achy feeling before, but I never dared do anything about it. No, only Jax is allowed to bring me relief. Only he gets to touch me there.

“We should stop,” he rasps, his voice rich and deep, it causes the feeling between my thighs to intensify. I squirm against him, trying to get him to release my wrists so I can touch him too, but his grip is ironclad. Unyielding.

“Jax…”

His jaw hardens, and he drops his lips to mine but doesn’t kiss me. His warm breath fans my lips, and my eyes flutter closed at the intimate moment. “Tell me to stop, princess. We need to stop before I do something reckless.”

“No.” I shake my head, my pulse racing at the sound of him calling me “princess.” I’ve been called it before by others, but it always carried malicious undertones. With Jax, it’s different.

I like the word on his lips.

“I should stop,” he says again, his voice desperate. “It’s taking everything in me not to press you against the shelves, tear off your little panties, and shove my cock into your tight little hole without any foreplay. To rut you so fast and hard, we’ll send books flying off the shelves.”

Oh God.

My eyes shoot to his dark ones, and I question if that was meant to be a threat. Is this what he’s using to try and scare me away? If so, then he’ll need to try harder because all he’s doing is make me want to try push him further until he goes blind with desire. I want him to do all that and so much more.

Take me.

Use me for his pleasure.

Everything. I want everything from this man, and I want him to take everything from me. I want to lose myself in his taste and scent, for him to lock me in his massive arms and have me however he pleases. Only him .

“Do it. Jax, please. I need you.”

The grip on my wrists relaxes, and he rubs his thumb over my skin, his eyes locked on mine when he does so before finally letting go. I barely have time to make sense of what’s happening before he spins me around to face the shelf, positioning himself behind me. My heart hammers in my chest when he crowds me against the books, rocking forward and pressing his hardness against my ass.

I should be nervous. Jax is about to do what he threatened he would, but all I feel is excitement. Is it going to hurt? All the books I’ve read mentioned that it hurts the first few times, and I must be out of my mind to even crave that.

I am not completely convinced that this isn’t a dream. My head is foggy with the scent of Jax’s cologne, and my back is blanketed by the very muscles I have craved to feel pressed against me.

“Are you sure about this, princess?” he asks into my ear, reminding me yet again that this is real. “I am about to use this tight little body for my pleasure. If you don’t want—”

“I want it,” I whisper, perhaps a little too eagerly. I bite my lips as I consider my next words, but Johann Wolfgang von Goethe did say that boldness has power and magic in it, and I could use a little of both right now. “Y-you can do anything you want to me.”

A harsh grunt leaves his mouth at my words. “Fuck, princess, you shouldn’t give such control to anyone. Not even to me.” A whimper slips out when he draws his right hand up my thigh and under my skirt. “You don’t want someone thinking they can use this tight little body any way they please, do you?”

“Only you.”

“Fuuuck!” He tightens the grip on my thigh, squeezing me and causing wetness to spread through my sex. Jax pins me to the shelf as his hand continues to slide higher, and I am trembling with the need to feel his hand on my sensitive places. I’ve never had anyone touch me there, but I’ve read enough about it to know it’ll feel good. I’ve felt enough of Jax to know that I’ll only ever want his hands on me. “You smell so good, princess,” Jax says raggedly into my hair, hooking his index finger under the waistband of my panties and slowly tugging them down my thighs. I gasp when he tears them off me completely in one sharp move. “Feel so fucking soft and…forbidden.”

“I’m not.” Not to him at least.

“A corrupted man like me does not deserve to touch something so precious. So innocent and pure,” he rasps deeply, and I want to see his face. I try to turn so I can get a better look at those stormy gray eyes, but he keeps me pressed to the bookshelf, his presence heavy behind me. Jax grabs my right knee and guides me to prop my foot up on the lower shelf, sending a few books falling to the floor. I wince at the noise it makes, afraid to attract attention to our little corner, but it doesn’t seem to concern my bodyguard. “I want to corrupt you, see those pretty eyes burn with the furthest thing from innocence as I paint your sexy little mouth with my seed.”

He brings his hand back between my legs, and I cry out when his middle finger grazes my sensitive nub, causing it to throb. “Jax!”

“Fuck, baby, you are practically dripping,” he breathes, rubbing his thick digit over my clit in rough circles that send pleasure shooting through my tummy. I lean into his touch, but he pulls away, making me whine at the loss. “You gave me permission to do anything I want with you.”

I nod frantically, dropping my head against the books. “Yes. Anything .”

My breath catches in my throat when I hear him tug down his zipper, my body taut with the anticipation of feeling him inside me. It will hurt, I know that much, but I don’t care. I have safeguarded this part of myself for him. Blocked out the peer pressure to experiment with guys my own age…for him. My virginity, my body…they all belong to Jax, have only ever belonged to him.

I close my eyes and wait to feel the hard press of his erection, for him to take what rightfully belongs to him, except…it never comes.

Instead, Jax falls to his knees, and there is little warning before I feel the wet press of his tongue against my sex. I cry out, slapping my palm to my mouth to stop the scream that tries to climb out my throat.

I…I can’t make a sound that will alert someone to come and check on us. If someone does, then Jax will stop, and I don’t want him to stop.

Oh God!

I bite hard into my hand when he flicks my swollen bud with his tongue, once, twice before dragging his tongue over my sex, parting my feminine lips. I’ve read about this too, the soft, slow caress of lips against intimate parts, except there is none of that.

Jax devours me.

Like a hungry beast, he buries his face between my legs, growling deeply as he laps at my sex like he is starved. It’s my first time feeling anything like this, and my body can’t withstand the feeling much longer. I feel myself draw closer and closer to a fall; I am unsure of its depth, but I don’t have time to wonder as Jax suctions his mouth over my clit and bathes it in fast strokes, sending me right over the edge.

I swallow back a sob as my sex clenches and releases wildly around his greedy tongue. Pleasure spears through me as tremors rack my body, and my hand shoots out blindly as I reach out for something to hold onto, sending more books flying off the shelf.

Jax gives my pulsing sex a final kiss when the intense trembling eases before climbing back to his feet. My head is still reeling from what just happened when I feel the hard press of his cock against my folds.

“You are a fucking drug, princess,” he says gruffly, dropping his head to my neck and nuzzling my skin as he presses the thick head of his shaft against my entrance. “Your scent and taste, hell, your pussy is a fucking drug, and you just got me hooked on it. How do you expect me to move on from this now?”

“Jax,” I whimper as he bumps the tip of his cock against my entrance, stretching me just a little bit, but doesn’t push inside. His thrusts are shallow, never penetrating my opening, and he grips my hips to still them when I try to push back against him. “Do it. It’s okay.”

“Damn, princess, you shouldn’t offer yourself so recklessly to me,” he growls against my skin. “Not when I am this close to tearing through that little barrier keeping me from claiming you.”

Then what is he waiting for? Is he scared of hurting me? “Jax…”

“No,” he grits out before I can say what I want. His breathing grows harsh, and I catch the sound of flesh on flesh coming from behind me. I feel his shoulders flex against my back as he jerks his cock, and I push him back just enough to turn around and look at him. My eyes drop to his large hand working his erection. His shaft is thick and heavy, the cockhead flushed an angry read, and precum drips over his fingers to coat his balls.

“Jax…” I lick my lips as his hand picks up speed. With each upstroke, I catch a glimpse of his full, heavy balls, and the desire to taste him is nearly overwhelming.

His precum eases the slide of his hand around his cock; the sound is obscene and causes my cheeks to flush. I want to see him let go, to lock in the memory of the look on his face when he falls apart in front me. Because of me.

“Fuck, princess,” he grunts roughly, his breathing growing unsteady as he moves faster, his muscles flexing. Without another thought, I drop to my knees in the tight space between his body and the bookshelf. I look up and meet his stormy eyes, and without breaking his gaze, I open my mouth and stick out my tongue. There’s no mistaking what I want him to do. He buries his free hand in my hair, holding me still, as he continues to work his thick shaft. I put my hands on his thighs to steady myself, and I can feel how tense his muscles are. “Arya,” he moans just before he erupts, coating my lips and tongue with his release. I lean forward before he can pull away and wrap my lips around the tip, suckling lightly. He lets out a broken groan above me as more of his seed fills my mouth. I try to swallow, but some escapes and drips down my chin.

After a few moments, his muscles relax, and he pulls me to my feet, his breathing still ragged. I feel the warm, sticky dampness of arousal between my inner thighs, and I press them tightly together to ease the ache that still lingers from watching Jax come undone. He quickly tucks himself away and zips up his pants, then helps me right my skirt.

“How long have you waited, princess?” he asks, as I use the sleeve of my discarded sweater to wipe my chin. It’s not my first choice, but it’ll have to do for now.

I consider his question. How long have I waited for what? For him to want me? To love me? Then I realize what he is referring to. How long have I saved myself for him to be the one to take my virginity. “Too long,” I answer.

“You can wait a little longer, can’t you?” he ask into my ear, pulling me close and wrapping me in his arms. “You deserve more than a quick fuck in a public library.”

He is perfect.

I would wait a lifetime for him, however long it takes to have him. I would do anything, but I don’t want to sound desperate, so I nod. “I’ll wait.”

“Good girl,” he says, slapping my bottom before pushing back. Jax starts picking up the books we dropped, and I know I should at least help put them in order, but my brain is fried.

I just had my first kiss, my first orgasm. My first taste of Jax.

Right now, all I can do is watch as the man who is giving me all of my firsts tidies up after us.

I giggle as a thought occurs to me. Jax is my bodyguard turned lover. It’s one of my favorite romance novel tropes.

When we left the house this morning, I’d pretended this was our first date. What a date it’s turned out to be.

“Jax?” His eyes shoot to mine, and for a brief second, I am struck mute. God, those eyes. They could kill and save me. “After this, can you show me something you enjoy?”

His gaze slowly trails my body, like a caress leaving a storm of heat in its wake, and by the time he makes it back to my eyes, I am burning for him. Yearning to feel him against me once more. “I thought I just did.”

“I—” I look away to gather my composure. Christ, I can barely think straight when the man is looking at me. “I meant something other than that.”

“I think you’ve had enough fun for the day, princess.”

I bite my lip at the nickname. “Tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow.”