Chapter 18

CHAPTEREIGHTEEN

“You gonna come for me, baby?” Davis asked.

This was done with a rough, scratchy voice that was partly due to us having just woken up before I wiggled back into his morning hard-on. Davis happily accepted my invitation and was on his side behind me, holding my leg over his hip, taking me nice and slow.

“Yes,” I breathed.

“Need my finger at your clit?”

I absolutely did not need his finger at my clit. He was making magic playing with my nipple.

I shook my head the best I could with his face in my neck and arched into my climax. Davis continued to give me both his dick and nipple action, taking me through a slow, sweet release that curled my toes.

When it moved through me, he pulled out and left his mark on my ass.

“We really need to get you on the pill,” he reiterated yesterday’s statement. “Or I need to glove up.”

“No. I like the feel of you. Just you, nothing between us. I’ll get on the pill.”

Davis gently rolled me to my back. He traced his finger from my throat, down between my breasts, and stopped to circle my belly button. He looked like he had something on his mind beyond protection.

“You okay?”

“Perfect.”

“Then why the forlorn look?”

Davis blinked then smiled.

“Forlorn?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know what that means and don’t try to change the subject.”

“I like waking up next to you.”

His words were accompanied by his hand gliding back up. This time his route took his palm over my ribs, the side of my breast, and finally he brushed my hair away from my face.

Oh, yeah, Davis was really good with the tell and show.

I liked that so much I nuzzled his hand in my hair, which was now cupping the side of my head.

“So why do you look solemn?”

“How’s a man supposed to look when he’s got exactly what he wants in his bed, in his life, and he’s worried she won’t stay?”

Davis said that—straight out. No games. No hiding. He just put that right out there between us.

Was he for real?

How could he be real?

“You know you’re perfect, right?” I whispered. “So perfect it’s scary.”

“How can perfect be scary?”

I paused just long enough to push aside the lessons of my youth and give Davis what he’d given me—total, unfiltered honesty.

“I told you I was falling. You promised you’d be gentle with me and I believe you. I believe that when you grow tired of me, you’ll be kind about it. You won’t hurt me when you let me go but in the back of my mind I can’t help wondering if one day, when all this is over, if you’ll realize I’m not good…”

I petered out when Davis’s eyes narrowed dangerously and his brows pinched.

“Finish what you were going to say.”

“Umm…”

“Smart,” he muttered. “I like waking up to you,” he repeated.

“I like waking up to you,” I parroted.

An obnoxious chime rang out.

Davis made a sound that was a cross between an angry grunt and a growl.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” he verbally expressed his anger as he rolled and craned his neck to look at the nightstand.

I didn’t know what time it was but the sun was blaring into his bedroom so it couldn’t have been early.

The chime went off again and Davis rolled the rest of the way off the bed, tagged yesterday’s jeans off the floor, and stepped into them while saying, “I’ll get the door. Start coffee and come back and I’ll join you in the shower.”

Guess I was taking a shower.

“And we’ll finish our conversation over breakfast.”

I had a smart-ass quip prepared but didn’t get to fire it off before he was out the bedroom door—or more accurately, prowled out the door.

I took my time getting out of bed, savoring the soreness between my legs. Davis had argued I’d reverted back to being a virgin since my self-imposed celibacy had lasted through my twenties and well into my thirties. Technically he was wrong, however I couldn’t disagree with his sentiment. After all the sex we’d had I couldn’t deny I was a whole lot of out of practice and a little sore. Not that I was complaining. Hell, if my college boyfriend had been as good as Davis I wasn’t sure I would’ve been satisfied with self-induced orgasms over the years—reputation be damned.

And, really, thinking about it, for a woman who said she didn’t care what other people thought of her I sure had wasted a lot of time and energy caring what other people thought. I’d denied myself pleasure and connections because I’d been too afraid I’d be judged. I’d put myself through college, graduated, came home, worked, and that was it.

No life.

No friends.

Nothing.

I was a fraud and a liar and I wasn’t sure what to make of that but it bore contemplation. Just not right now. I had plans this afternoon with Letty and Brooklyn and I was determined not to allow my past to get in the way of my future. I knew Davis played a large role in this new determination but I didn’t care. He made me feel good. He looked at me like I was Jane.

Just Jane.

Me, or the me I wanted to be.

Deep down I knew I wasn’t like my brother or father. I knew I was a good person but that didn’t mean I hadn’t allowed their dysfunction to pull me under.

I like you in my bed.

Davis thought he had what he wanted in his bed and in his life.

That had to mean something.

He was the best man I’d ever met.

If he thought I was worthy of being at his side, I was going to prove him right or I was going to lose him.

I was coasting on these thoughts when I got out of bed.

This was not a ‘fake it until you make it’ sort of thing. It was a ‘the time is nigh to start living life’ thing and since I wanted to do that with Davis the time wasn’t only nigh—it was upon me.

I glanced around Davis’s bedroom. Much like the rest of his house it was nicely decorated with a bent toward masculine which made sense. He was a bachelor, though the furniture was so nice I wondered if he’d picked it out or if one of the women had helped him…or maybe an ex.

Nope.

I wasn’t going there.

My guess was Letty. She was ballsy and bossy with a huge side of hilarious. I could see her taking charge of furnishing Davis’s home.

Low, rumbling voices caught my attention. I moved closer to the open door and listened. I couldn’t make out what was being said but Davis sounded ticked and the other voice sounded like my brother.

Oh shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I grabbed Davis’s shirt off the floor, yanked it on, found my panties, pulled those on, and took off down the hall.

Davis’s home was a ranch. Three bedrooms and a bathroom off the long hallway that opened up to a living room to the left and the dining room to the right. Beyond the dining room was the huge kitchen, then a mudroom-slash-laundry room with a door that led to the garage. On the living room side, there was a small entry way with a closet and the front door. All the walls in his house were painted the color of mud which would’ve been bland if his couches weren’t navy blue with mustard yellow toss pillows and two swivel chairs that were mustard yellow with a kickass cream and navy pattern. His dining room table was a large rectangle of recycled barnwood. Under a heavy layer of varnish the old peeling paint on the boards was still visible. The chairs around it were so dark blue they were almost black. And after the party when I helped Brooklyn and Sadie clear away all the decorations I found that Davis had multihued blue placemats that were kickass.

His house sat on a postage-stamp-sized lot with his backyard taking up most of the square footage. Lush green grass, and he’d used rocks instead of mulch around the perimeter to the house. The only feature out back was a built-in barbecue and smoker. Between the two grills big pieces of slate created an area you could use to set utensils or serving dishes. I hadn’t gotten the chance to ask last night if that outdoor kitchen area was already there when he bought the house or if he’d built it.

I was yanked out of my musings when I heard, “You do not come to my house and lay this shit on me.”

That was Davis.

“No, let me rephrase, you don’t come to my house for any reason ever.”

That was Davis again.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

My brother’s angry gaze sliced to me, dropped to my bare legs, traveled up the length of me and he narrowed his eyes.

“I see you’re not wasting any time enjoying what fifty-large bought you,” my brother said and turned his angry scowl back to Davis.

Bought you?

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

“I need a word with my sister first.”

“I already told you, that’s not happening.”

“Right, I see. Think because you bought pussy—”

“Careful, Zeus, that’s my wife you’re talking about.”

“That’s my sister I’m talking about, asshole.”

My eyes were bouncing back and forth between the two men trying to understand what was happening but getting more confused by the second.

“Jane ceased being your sister the moment you called her pussy. Now, you can get the fuck out of my house, or I can put you out, but you’re leaving.”

Trevor being the asshole he was crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Davis. I knew what this was. I’d seen this side of my brother from the time I’d understood what the word stubborn meant. He was settling in for the showdown. He wanted Davis to put him out. He wanted the confrontation, he got off on it. Sometimes I’d wondered if Trevor liked beating on people or if he liked to be beaten. Or if he was just too stubborn and stupid not to pick a fight with someone who could very obviously kick his ass. And it was obvious, between Davis and Trevor, Davis would wipe the floor with him and not just because Davis had a few inches on my brother. Trevor didn’t take care of himself. He used intimidation and the threat of a whole MC coming out en masse to get people to do what he wanted.

“Just leave, Trevor,” I waded in.

My brother’s gaze swung back to me. His mouth twisted in an ugly way and he spat, “I don’t give a fuck whose property you are, we gotta talk about Dad. We do that here or you come with me to the compound.”

I was absolutely not going to the compound ever again.

“There’s nothing to discuss.”

“If you think that, you’re stupider than I thought.”

I heard Davis’s menacing growl but ignored it.

“Then I’m stupid.” I shrugged. “But Davis is right; I’ve ceased to be your sister though he’s wrong about the timing. I stopped being that when you decided to one-up Dad. I’ve told you before and this will be the last time I say it, Trevor, so listen up. I’m dead to you.”

“You weren’t dead when your ass came to me needing help,” he rightly reminded me. “I wasn’t dead when I sent this motherfucker to get you safe. But now you’re takin’ his cock like a good little girl I’m suddenly dead to you? Fuck you, Rinny.”

Shot. To. The. Heart.

Rinny.

God, I hadn’t heard that since I was a little kid.

Trevor was the only person who called me that nickname.

“Trev—”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Trevor snarled. “My sister sellin’ her pussy for protection.”

My brother aimed that blow where he knew it would gut me. It landed so precisely I jerked back. But the wall of fury now rolling off of Davis was what had me taking a step back.

“You’re done,” Davis barked. “Always thought you were a motherfucking piece of shit but you standing here, spewing that bullshit just to hurt your sister is next-level asshole.”

Trevor didn’t spare me a glance as he spewed more venom.

“Wrong, Wright, this ain’t done. It’ll never be done. Like it or not your new snatch has my blood. You wanna keep her—”

Trevor didn’t finish.

He couldn’t, not with Davis’s hand around his throat, pushing him back until Trevor’s back hit the wall beside his front door.

“You even look at her funny, I’ll end you,” Davis stated, tone deceivingly calm. “You come near her, and I swear to fuck, my face will be the last thing you see before you quit breathing. Test that, motherfucker. I’ve been itching to put you down. Give me a reason and I’ll have no problem scratching that itch.”

Davis let go, opened the door, and waited.

Trevor looked over Davis’s shoulders and locked eyes with me. In another life, my brother could’ve been more. He could’ve found the strength to fight his demons. We could’ve left together and been a family.

Tears pricked my eyes. I blinked to hold them back but they escaped. Trevor watched them roll down my cheeks. His jaw clenched and pain filled his eyes—the only sign that somewhere deep maybe there was the tiniest shred of my brother left.

Without another word, Trevor walked out the door. Davis threw it shut with a mighty heave that damn near shook the house when it slammed. He locked it and turned on me.

“Jane—”

“What did he mean you bought me?”

Davis’s whole body tensed.

“Don’t listen to shit, baby, I didn’t buy you.”

“Then what does enjoying what fifty large bought you mean?”

“Jane, baby,” he started and took a step in my direction.

I took a step back.

“Why won’t you tell me what that means, Davis?”

“Fuck,” he rasped and scrubbed his hands over his face.

My confusion turned to dread.

“Tell me what he meant,” I demanded.

“It’s not what you think.”

That dread balled in my stomach. That was what someone said when it was exactly what you thought and they were going to make excuses for it.

“Then tell me, goddammit!” I shouted.

“Baby, let’s—”

“Tell me, Davis, or I swear to God, I’ll walk out of here and you’ll never see me again.”

Shit, why did I say that? I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want to walk out and never see him again.

Davis’s expression darkened and he called my bluff. “There’s the door.” He swept his arm wide in the direction of the door.

Shit.

Shame crept in.

“Please tell me what—”

“Nope. No way are you getting away with that bullshit you just spewed.”

I clamped my mouth shut. As it would seem I was infected with the same affliction Trevor had—stubborn and stupid.

“Davis—”

“Think before you say something you might not be able to take back,” he warned. “Take a breath and think about me and the man you know I am. The work I do. And if that doesn’t lead you to know without question I am not a man who would buy pussy and take payment for protection then we have a serious fucking problem.”

Okay, I’d crossed a line threatening to leave.

That was stupid.

But his response to that was uncool.

Though a man he hated had just been in his house and I’m positive Davis hadn’t invited him in, which meant Trevor had pushed his way in.

And on top of all of that my brother had called me “pussy” which Davis had made known he didn’t like.

Yeah, I’d screwed up making that stupid threat.

It was time to pull up my big-girl panties and admit I was being dumb.

“That was a stupid thing to say, especially because I didn’t mean it. On top of that I insulted you and I didn’t mean to.”

Yet again, Davis proved he was perfect and too good for me when he nodded.

“I didn’t buy you, but I did pay your father off.”

A chill ran up my arms, which contradicted the fire that was sparking in my veins.

“You paid him off?” I hissed.

“Actually, I paid your brother back. He paid off your father.”

“You paid my brother back?”

“Yup. Didn’t want that shit hanging over your head, you feeling like you owed him, when you absolutely don’t. Also knew you hate knowing that Zeus used money he got from selling whores, drugs, and guns.”

“Trevor bought me—”

“No he did not. That right there is why I didn’t want you to know. Your dad’s a dick, Jane. He found out you were married to me, and just like we planned that made you off-limits. Your dad blamed Zeus and felt like making him pay. Until he just pulled this shit, I almost respected that gesture, your brother forking over fifty K and not bitching about that. Doing something for his sister. But, I couldn’t let that stand because I don’t trust the fucker. And also I’ll repeat—I knew you’d hate knowing he made that payment with dirty money. So I paid him back. Obviously, he wasn’t happy Wilson made the drop. Now I don’t know if that’s because he was trying to do something good for his sister and I fucked that play or if he was pissed because now he’s got nothing to hang over you. What I do know is, I don’t give the first fuck why that asshole is pissed. He can bitch and rant all he wants. What he’s never going to do again is come in our home—your home—and disrespect you. Taking that a step further, he fucks with you in any way I’ll make good on my promise and he’ll find himself dead.”

He was right, I didn’t want my brother doing anything for me with dirty money and that included handing my father fifty-thousand dollars to buy my safety. And that was exactly what that pay off was about. The whole reason my father wanted me was to pay off a debt and I’d bet he was into someone for fifty-K.

That’s what I was worth.

Fifty thousand dollars.

“Dead?” I whispered.

“Dead,” he confirmed.

“You’d kill Trevor?”

“If he fucks with you in any way I’ll rip his throat out and do it with a smile on my face.”

He was serious.

Davis would do that.

“I’m not sure—”

“I’m sure enough for both of us,” he interrupted.

I closed my eyes, not sure what to think, but I knew what I felt. The problem was I was afraid what I was feeling made me just as bad as my brother and father.

“You’re my wife,” Davis rumbled. “Even if you weren’t you’re still mine.”

My eyes snapped open and I took in the man in front of me. None of the anger had subsided though I knew it wasn’t directed at me. I’d apologized, he’d accepted and moved on. It was that easy with him.

“I know you. The way you grew up, women were property,” he continued. “So I feel the need to make sure you understand when I say you’re mine, I don’t—”

“I know what you mean,” I cut him off.

I drew in a breath through my nose, gathered all the courage I could find, and gave him what he needed to move all the way on and end this conversation.

“Thank you.”

Davis’s eyelids slowly lowered and when they reopened the relief was stark.

That spoke to the heart of who he was.

He was nothing like my father or brother. He would resort to violence to protect me, not for greed or power.

“Do we need to talk about what your brother said?” he asked.

“Which part?”

“Any of it?”

I replayed the unpleasant conversation, or at least the parts I remembered, and decided I didn’t want to talk about it.

“No.”

“Don’t bury that, baby. He said some fucked-up shit. You need to talk it out, I’m here to listen.”

That was sweet.

“Hate to break this to you, but that was nothing. Actually, on a scale of one to Zeus he didn’t even break a three with how ugly he can get.”

Davis’s brows drew together and his expression became ominous.

Mistake.

Big mistake.

“Honey, I’m used to it.”

Ominous became dangerous.

Abort mission.

Shit.

“The only thing I need to talk about is the fact that I know the brother I once loved is gone. Logically I know this. I think even my heart knows he’s not the big brother who had protected me. But sometimes, it’s hard to wrap my head around hating him. I know I should. I know who he is. I’m not in denial or anything. But I just can’t really hate him like I should.”

“You shouldn’t hate him.”

I jerked back thinking I must’ve heard him incorrectly.

“What?”

“Baby, hate is an ugly burden.”

“You hate him,” I pointed out the obvious.

“Damn right I do.”

Hm. That was interesting.

“So, it’s okay for you to take that burden but not me?”

“Yes, Jane. I’ll take that burden and carry the weight of it so you can live free and easy.”

“You know you’re giving me a complex, being so perfect,” I blurted out. “I need you to do something like kick a cat.” I slapped my hand over my mouth and shook my head. “I can’t believe I just said that. I’m a hundred percent against animal cruelty. I don’t even think racoons should be trapped and relocated. It’s not their fault we’re taking over their habitat. They were here first. People should learn how to lock their trashcan lids, not disturb nature.”

Oh God, I was totally babbling.

Unfortunately I went on.

“I think this is what a mental break feels like. Do you think that’s what this is? I’m jabbering on about racoons and nature.”

“Jane.”

“I’m being serious, Davis, Trevor might’ve pushed me to a full-on come apart this time. He’s insane. He pimps women. He’s a drug dealer. He sells illegal guns.”

“Baby.”

“Yet you tell me not to hate him. That you’ll hate him so I don’t have to feel that burden.”

“Jane.”

“Why? Why would you do that for me?”

“Baby.”

The weight of my brother’s visit crashed over me. No, that wasn’t what had my heart pounding in my chest and me wheezing to breathe.

“I was raised by club whores and a man called Satan,” I panted. “No one has ever loved me.”

Davis didn’t let me finish before he prowled to me, captured my face with his hands, and growled, “Now someone does.”

After he delivered that velvet blow he kissed me.

Not hard and deep.

Soft, slow, and thoroughly.

Until he made me a true believer.

Trevor had lied.

Real love existed.

It was just that he was a man too broken to give or receive it. And with that, I felt sorry for my brother. He’d never know this feeling. He’d never know how good it felt to give or receive love. He’d never know the sweet simplicity or how complex and overwhelming the emotion could be.

Oh, yeah, I felt bad for my brother because this felt…beautiful.