Chapter 14

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

Once again I woke up in yesterday’s clothes.

Unlike yesterday I was not alone.

And unlike yesterday my cheek was resting on something hard and warm. My hand was resting there, too. I opened my eyes and saw what I’d feared…a dusting of hair covering Davis’s chest. His bare chest, which answered yesterday’s question—he slept shirtless. To make matters worse, I was mostly on my side, my leg thrown over his thighs, knee high near his groin.

Good Lord.

That wasn’t all.

Davis’s arm was around me and his hand was not resting on my bottom—he had a handful of mostly bare cheek. The mostly was because I had on a pair of panties that were not full bottom, but not G-string either. They were the cute kind that had enough material not to give you the all-day feeling that you had thread between your ass but not full-on granny panties.

So, yeah…

He had a handful.

But the absolute worst part was it had only taken seconds for me to decide I wanted to wake to this or some variation of this for the rest of my life. I wanted to open my eyes in the morning and see Davis next to me. I wanted to feel his warm strength under me. I wanted it wrapped around me. I wanted to wake up next to a man who wouldn’t hesitate to jump into the ocean to save a stranger’s life, then go about his day like he hadn’t saved a life. I wanted to know that whatever my day would bring, I’d come home to this—the knowledge that a good, clean man shared my bed. I wanted this to such an extreme it scared the hell out of me.

Since I knew I couldn’t keep this, I lay there perfectly still, wanting to have it for as long as I could get it.

So that’s what I did.

I kept perfectly still and thought back over yesterday. Day one of my fake honeymoon had started with a scary rescue and ended watching TV. The in between time had some really great parts—Davis asking me about the swim team, me telling him about it, then him telling me how ‘amazing’ he thought that was. He’d also gone on to tell me how impressed he’d been with how well I’d handled the situation with Noah. When I’d started to wave off his compliment he’d grabbed my hand, squeezed it, and said, “You are amazing, Jane.” And the way he’d said it made me believe he meant it. We’d gone back to town, walked around some of the shops not needing anything and not buying anything. Just doing it for something to do.

It was the best day I’d ever had.

With no reason to hurry, no other place to be, we simply strolled. Conversation was light, teasing, and fun. Nothing heavy, which I sensed we both needed. When we got home I cooked.

The bad parts about yesterday—save Noah almost drowning, but Davis had saved him so really it ended up being good—all had to do with my brother. Not a surprise. I hadn’t had a lot to do with Trevor in the last decade but I knew bad surrounded him daily. With Davis taking all of my attention, and in a way that felt good, I hadn’t given Trevor much thought. But now in the early morning hours, with Davis’s strength surrounding me I allowed my brother to do what I rarely allowed—I let him invade my thoughts.

I’d known going to him for help would open a door I didn’t want open, but I’d had no choice. Now that the door was open it was clear Trevor was pushing his way through the crack and getting him back on the other side would get ugly—or uglier than it had been yesterday.

There was a reason Trevor got nasty when he felt himself backed into a corner—he’d had to fight his whole childhood to be seen, to be heard, to be respected, and to protect me. So, I knew it would get uglier and nastier because I’d seen it. I didn’t think he’d actually follow through with his threat to deliver me to my father but the mere fact he’d said he would meant I needed to make a stand. Once and for all, I needed to cut the last string. The problem was I didn’t know how to do that. The only string that was left was the blood relation we shared. Unfortunately I couldn’t drain my Lawrence blood as easily as I’d changed my name.

“What has you concentrating so hard?”

Davis’ gruff, morning voice pulled me from my thoughts.

No way in hell was I starting the morning discussing my brother. The other option would be telling him my previous thoughts and that was not going to happen either.

“How did Wilson know what size clothes I wear?”

Welp, that was lame but better than telling him I wanted to wake up next to him for the rest of my life.

Davis confirmed just how lame my statement was when I felt his big, hard, warm body start to shake. Then he cemented it with a chuckle.

“You’re lying on me thinking about Wilson?”

“What? No! Well, sort of, but not really. I’m curious—”

“I’m teasing you, Jane.”

I knew he was but still…

“I’m not thinking about another man.” Then I took lame to a whole new level when I stupidly admitted, “Besides, I think you’ve ruined me for all other men.”

Suddenly I was no longer wrapped around Davis. His hand no longer had a hold of my bottom. I was on my back with Davis looming over me. His blue eyes locked onto mine. He was so close I could clearly see the flecks of lighter blue that patterned his irises.

Wow.

“You think?”

“Um…I think what?”

“You think I’ve ruined you for all other men?”

Okay, so I knew he had.

But still I lied. “Ruined might be a strong word.”

A smile tipped Davis’s lips before he lowered his head, brushed his smile from my jaw all the way to my ear. He did this slowly and ever so lightly. And just as lightly he whispered, “No, Jane, ruin is precisely what I intend to do.”

He couldn’t’ve missed my shiver and if he had the moan that slipped out would’ve given me away. But the way his large frame stilled told me he didn’t miss either.

“You on board for that?”

My body screamed hell yes.

My heart shouted hell no.

My body won when I nodded.

Davis rolled off me, grabbed my wrist, and tugged me back to my original position—cheek and hand resting on his chest.

This time it was my body that shouted no.

“I thought—”

“Not yet.” His hand found mine and like the night before, he fiddled with my ring while explaining, “Cole and Mia went to your old place. She gave Wilson the sizes you wear.”

Okay, so, I was still reeling from Davis telling me he was going to ruin me and really wanting to know what that meant for me physically. As in I really, really wanted to know, which meant right then I didn’t care how Wilson knew what size clothes I wore, but still I asked, “Mia?”

“She works at Takeback. She’s the one who answered the phone when you called. And I have to tell you, we were all there, including Wilson.”

Davis paused, likely to give me a moment to digest what he’d said.

The afternoon I’d called, I was told Wilson wasn’t in the office.

She’d lied to me.

Of course she had; I was the sister of the enemy.

“I’m telling you now because you need to know, but also shit like this tends to come out and when it does it can fuck things up. So I’m telling you now so I can explain. Yes, we were all there. But we were in the middle of something that required our attention. And yes, we needed to understand the nature of your call before Wilson spoke to you. That’s not about you, it’s about your brother and I think you can understand why we’d be cautious when it comes to him. Lastly, she asked you if you were in danger. You said no. If you’d told her the truth Wilson would’ve become available.”

I closed my eyes wanting to block out the room. That did nothing to prevent me from feeling the warmth of his chest or the sweet way he was twisting my ring.

“I’m not mad. I get it.”

“No you don’t. I know you think Mia not connecting you to Wilson was about you but it wasn’t. And this is not a guilty by association thing. I’m telling you true, Jane, we were planning a takedown but if you’d admitted to Mia that you were in danger one of us would’ve gotten you safe.”

I didn’t believe that then but I believed it now.

“I know.”

Davis’s arm around me tightened, “Do you?”

“Now I do.”

Davis’s body relaxed, we lapsed into silence, and I thought it was safe to open my eyes.

I found I was incorrect. Now that the mystery of how Davis slept had been solved, and I knew how good it felt to be held by him, I needed to get up and out of this bed before I embarrassed myself.

“What else were you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll give you that play if you tell me what you’re thinking about now.”

Oh boy.

“Davis—”

“Baby, you woke up with a jolt then went still and laid like that for a while.”

“I did?”

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“I don’t dream.”

Davis stopped mid-twist of my ring.

“You don’t dream?”

“No. At least I’ve never remembered any of my dreams.”

“Never?”

Why was he being so weird about this? I couldn’t be the only person in the world who didn’t remember their dreams when they woke up.

“Never,” I confirmed. “Maybe it’s because I’m such a light sleeper and wake up multiple times in the middle of the night.”

“You’re a light sleeper?”

Now, I knew that wasn’t strange. There were tons of over-the-counter medicines to help people sleep. Not that I took any of them but you can’t watch TV or listen to the radio without hearing or seeing the commercials.

“Yeah.”

“Jane, I’ve slept next to you two nights in a row. The first time I carried you to bed you woke up but last night you were out, didn’t even open your eyes. I put you in bed, changed my clothes, locked up, and I wasn’t overly quiet about that and you didn’t wake up. Got in next to you, pulled you close, and the only thing you did was snuggle in. How is that light?”

As Davis spoke the muscles in my neck tightened. His words tumbled around in my head as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. Of course, it was the truth. He had carried me to bed last night and I hadn’t woken up. I also had slept through both nights, not tossing and turning or waking up at any small noise.

That never happens, especially if I’m in a strange place.

“Jane?” he whispered.

“I didn’t wake up,” I returned just as quietly.

Davis hummed but remained silent.

“Why didn’t I wake up?”

His arm tightened around me but he didn’t answer.

Or was that his answer?

Did I fall asleep on the couch with my head in his lap, stay asleep while he put me to bed, and not wake up through the night because Davis was there? Did I sleep soundly knowing Davis was in bed next to me?

“When I was little Trevor would sleep next to me.”

“You told me.”

“I still woke up in the middle of the night. The slightest sound would wake me up.”

Davis said nothing.

This lasted awhile as I tried to sort my head and it took a long time because I wanted to fight the truth—deny it, force it out of existence, pretend I didn’t understand.

But I did.

I’d slept. I’d done it peacefully, I’d done it soundly, and there was only one explanation.

One reason.

One truth.

For the first time in my life I felt safe.

Totally safe.

At a time when I should’ve been up all night worried if my father would accept my marriage to Davis and leave me be, or if he was still after me, I’d slept like a baby.

I didn’t get to tell any of this to Davis before he was sitting up, taking me with him, and suddenly on high alert.

“Get into the bathroom, baby,” he said.

Then I was no longer in the bed because Davis was out of that bed standing next to it while setting me on my feet.

“Bathroom,” he repeated and gave me a gentle shove.

The look on his face brooked no argument.

My feet took me to the small room as a knock came.

Davis stayed where he was until I shut the door.

Yes, safe.

Something I’d never been before.

A month ago a knock at the door would’ve scared the pants off me. Hell, a week ago I would’ve been trembling in fear. But now, mere feet away from potential danger with nothing but drywall and some flimsy paneling to protect me I’d never, ever felt safer in my life.

That was because it wasn’t the drywall or the old, ugly paneling that would protect me.

It was Davis.

And I knew he’d do that bodily and he’d do it until I was safe or he wasn’t breathing.

I don’t know how I knew that last part but I did.

That was the kind of man Davis was.

That was who he was for me.

He was the man I’d wished for my whole life but was told didn’t exist.

Trevor was wrong—again.

I heard hushed voices, then a loud, “Jane.”

There was no trepidation when I opened the bathroom door. I didn’t wonder who was there, or what they wanted. If Davis was calling my name it was safe. Period.

As soon as Davis caught sight of me he launched in. “Baby, this is Kai, Noah’s father. He’s offered to take us out on the boat.”

Oh hell.

The last time I was on a boat—and that was on the still waters of Lake Coeur d’Alene—I was sick the whole time.

“Sure, that sounds great,” I chirped.

Davis’s beaming smile was worth the lie.

* * *

“This is so embarrassing,”I groaned.

Davis held the wet cloth on the back of my neck.

“Are you going to be sick again?”

Yes, again.

Again meaning he’d already held my hair while I puked.

Again meaning I was on my knees in front of the toilet.

Sexy, right?

“No.”

“Wanna brush your teeth before I take you to bed?”

Gross.

“Umm, yeah.”

Davis helped me to my feet, walked me to the basin, grabbed my toothbrush, and loaded it with paste. I watched him do this wishing I’d jumped off the boat and I was still out in the ocean floating on my back waiting for some strange fishermen to pick me up. Puking in front of strangers would’ve been less mortifying.

Wordlessly he handed me my toothbrush, wordlessly (obviously, it’d be hard to talk with a toothbrush in your mouth) I brushed, spit, and rinsed. Davis was there with a towel and grin.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“Bed.”

Suddenly my nerves kicked in. This would be the first night I willfully got into bed with Davis. It was the first night I wasn’t fully dressed. Not that I wasn’t dressed at all, I was. I had on a silky PJ set that totally worked for a stay at the Four Seasons but seemed ridiculously extravagant for a beach cabana. I have never worn silk or anything similar. I was simple, my preferred nightwear was cotton or anything comfy. Not that the silk sleep set wasn’t comfortable and soft but it was way too fancy for me. For some reason waking up in the morning wearing yesterday’s clothes seemed like we were just friends who’d slept next to each other because we’d fallen asleep watching TV.

Getting into bed with a man was intimate.

Deliberate.

Deeply personal.

“In, baby,” he said when he had the covers pulled back.

I put my knee onto the mattress but halted when Davis grabbed my wrist.

“You sure you’re not going to be sick again?”

Great, now he was worried about me throwing up in bed.

Someone shoot me now.

“If you’d rather I sleep on the couch I can.”

“I’d rather you climb into bed without looking like you’re getting ready to be tortured.”

Tortured would be the perfect descriptor for what was going to happen in that bed.

“I’m not going to get sick.”

Davis let go of my wrist. I finished getting into bed, then scooted as far as I could to the other edge, which wasn’t far in a small double bed.

Damn.

Why was this so awkward?

“Jane—”

“I’m fine. This is just weird.”

“Weird?”

“Us getting into bed together.”

He stared down at me like I was the one who was weird, not the situation.

“We’ve slept together for the past two nights.”

The reminder wasn’t necessary.

“I know but this is different. We’re getting into bed together, not just sleeping.” When he didn’t say anything I blathered on. “It’s just…it feels…” I petered out because I didn’t know how to explain it. “I’ve only slept beside three men in my entire life and one was my brother so he doesn’t count. And I’ve only gotten into bed with two men and that includes you. That is, when you um…get into bed with me.”

Davis did a slow blink and I seriously regretted admitting that.

“Come again?”

I didn’t repeat myself mostly because I knew he heard and I was embarrassed as it was.

“You’ve only slept beside two men?”

Lord, why was my face so hot?

“Yes.”

“And one of them is me?”

My cheeks now felt like they were on fire.

“Yes.”

“Fuck,” he snarled and turned to stomp to the bathroom.

What just happened?

I didn’t have to wait long for Davis to come out of the bathroom, tear off his shirt, and toss it on his backpack. Still angry, he told me, “Sometimes you shock me in ways that rip my heart apart.”

That only confused me more.

“What?”

“Jane, you are just shy of forty and you’ve only slept next to two men.”

Okay.

I was still confused.

“Baby.” That came out frustrated and pained. “You gotta know we looked into you. I know you’ve never been married. We didn’t find any long-term boyfriends so unless you hid him really well I know you haven’t had one man in your bed for say, five, six, or ten years. Please tell me that you got a hang up with sticking around after the deed is done and roll out and go home or kick him out.”

Davis was still standing by the bed, which meant I had an unobstructed view of his beautiful chest. I was fully blaming my lack of concentration on that.

“The deed?”

“Fucking,” he growled. “Please, God, tell me you kick him out of your house or you bounce when you’re done.”

“I don’t kick men out of my bed, if that’s what you mean.”

“That’s exactly what I mean.”

Hold on a minute.

I sat up, focused on his squinty eyes, and gathered my thoughts.

“What kind of woman do you think I am, Davis?”

“I think you’re a gorgeous, smart, sexy woman who I hope gets herself some and gets it regular. But if you’re telling me you’ve slept next to two men and you don’t kick ‘em out when you’re done, and I see the affront written all over you so I know you’re rolling out of theirs, it’s clear you’re not. And since I’m one of the two men, and I haven’t taken us there…yet, are you telling me you’ve only fucked one man?”

I was stuck on the, I haven’t taken us there…yet part so I couldn’t process what I’d confessed. No, that wasn’t right, I could process it; I just wanted to ignore it until the end of time.

“Jane.”

Damn it all to hell.

“Yes, Davis, that’s what I’m saying.”

“One? Just one?”

God, this was more mortifying than puking in front of him.

“Yes. One. Just one.”

“Fuck,” he rasped and torn his hands through his hair. “How the hell is that possible? You’re fucking amazing.”

That was a nice thing to say but…

“I hate to remind you of this but it was only a few days ago you didn’t think I was amazing. You thought I was like Trevor and you’re not the only one who’s thought that.”

A scary sinister looked came over him.

“I didn’t—”

“You did, Davis. You didn’t like me and the only reason for you not to like me was because of who my brother is and I told you growing up everyone thought the same thing. By the time I got to high school it was assumed I was easy because I was the daughter of a biker. I was smart enough not to go there with anyone in high school. I had a bad reputation and I was a virgin. I couldn’t imagine how bad it would’ve been if I’d fucked one of them. So I didn’t. I stayed a virgin until my junior year of college. That relationship lasted a year and yes I slept next to him. After that I was back in CDA. No one paid me any mind being back there. I wasn’t getting looks or comments so I kept to myself hoping that would last and it did.”

Davis’s gaze went to the floor and it remained there for so long I figured our conversation was over.

Without looking up he asked, “You haven’t had sex in almost twenty years?”

I wasn’t imagining the disbelief in his tone. It was there, clear as day and it pissed me off.

“You think I’m lying?”

Davis’s head snapped up, his gaze found mine, and I felt the anger rolling off of him in hot waves.

“No, Jane, I don’t think you’re lying. I’m trying to gauge if I’m pissed off that you’ve been missing out on life, not having anyone in your bed, at your back, no one to make you feel good or if I’m one of the selfish fucks who’s happy he scored himself a virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Baby, you haven’t had a man in twenty goddamn years, you might not technically be one but you damn well are.”

I came up on my knees, felt my temper flare and my eyes get squinty.

“I’m not a virgin,” I spat.

I saw it the moment the decision was made.

I just didn’t understand what that decision was until Davis pounced.

“You damn well are,” he ground out. “But you sure as fuck aren’t going to be in a minute.”