Chapter 1

Allison sat,looking in her mirror as she waited for Roger to pick her up. This would be their fifth date since Todd had left town almost a month and a half ago. Seeing her perfectly coiffed hair, the delicate shading of makeup that made her hazel eyes look larger than they really were and brought out her cheekbones, and the sweet pink bow of her lips, she felt nothing but sick of herself. Sick of her life. Sick of romance without passion. Although, could it really be termed romance when there was no passion?

She wanted to like Roger so much. He was exactly the kind of upstanding young man her parents wanted her to be with. Solid, reliable, from impeccably good breeding, but he just didn't do it for her. At first, things had seemed so promising. While he didn't have the same kind of charismatic power behind him Todd did, there was certainly something there—a hint of an alpha male underneath his social mask, something dangerous hidden behind his well-mannered actions and admiring eyes—but they'd been dating for weeks, and nothing had come of it.

"Are you still pouting in there?" Diana, Allison's roommate, poked her head into Allison's room and rolled her eyes. Allison turned to face the pretty Asian girl; for someone so petite, she was like a force of nature, a slightly terrifying one, like a tsunami. Definitely used to getting her way.

"I'm not pouting," Allison said. "I'm just…"

"Why don't you just dump him?"

That was Diana, blunt and to the point. The slender girl bounced into Allison's room and flopped down on the bed, her face serious but unconcerned. Despite the fact her parents ran in pretty much the same social circle as Allison's, Diana was indifferent to the expected behaviors Allison lived by. While she would behave when she was in situations with her family's friends, when she was on her own, she pretty much did what she wanted. Although Allison was trying to be more like Diana, envying her friend's freedom, without Todd, it had become an uphill battle all the way.

"I really don't have a good reason to." It made her feel guilty as if she was using him, but it was true. "And I do have fun with him. I like him, there's just no spark, no excitement. But who says I'm going to find that with someone else? I just have to accept what is and could do a lot worse than Roger."

"Very true." Diana leaned back on Allison's bed on her elbows. Allison could tell she wasn't wearing a bra under her tight purple t-shirt. Of course, Diana often went without a bra, an option not open to Allison with her 34D breasts, not for all day every day, at least. While hers were plenty perky after a while, it just put a strain on them, and they ached.

"I just have to forget Todd." Allison stood abruptly and smoothed down the silky skirt of her blue dress. Knee-length and demurely ladylike, the v-neckline only gave a hint of cleavage. "He's gone and made it clear he wasn't going to be coming back for me. There's no use pining over him. He wasn't even my boyfriend."

"That's a lot of sex with someone who wasn't your boyfriend."

Allison glared, but all she got was a wink back from one of Diana's exquisite almond-shaped eyes. At least she could talk about this stuff with Diana. Her only other close girlfriend, Chrissy, was as snobbish and self-involved as Allison used to be and would have a complete lack of understanding for Allison and Todd's relationship—if it could be called that.

Allison had no idea what else to call it. Sure, she'd admitted—confessed, really—to Todd, she wanted someone to blackmail her into fulfilling her wildest fantasies. That way, she wouldn't have to feel guilty about the things she was doing, it would be out of her control. And yes, he'd taken advantage of that and given her so much more excitement and sexual satisfaction than she'd ever thought possible. But there was more to it than that, she swore there was. At least, there had been on her side. Apparently not on his, she thought bitterly for the umpteenth time.

She was halfway through the summer and should be looking forward to her senior year of college. She should be happy about dating someone as sweetly wonderful as Roger and should be proud of herself for her job. In fact, tonight, Roger was taking her out to celebrate. In the time she'd been working, she'd already been promoted from a receptionist to the Human Resources department as their administrative assistant. She'd been doing half of the work, anyway, helping them out while they searched for the right candidate, answering phones, inventorying and ordering supplies, and providing the upkeep and schedule for the conference rooms. After a couple of weeks, the head of HR had asked if she wanted the job, and Allison had accepted gratefully. The front desk really wasn't enough to keep her busy, and she'd been dreading when they finally filled the position, and she was left cooling her heels and waiting for the phone to ring.

Slowing down for even a minute inevitably led to thoughts about Todd. She should be thinking about Roger, the sweetly supportive guy who she was dating, who was thrilled she was working—unlike her parents—and thought it was great she was promoted so quickly. They were going to a classy dinner, followed by dancing at the country club his family belonged to. Not like the bar where Todd had first taken her.

Crap, she needed to get him off her mind. From the way Diana was eyeing her, her best friend obviously knew exactly where Allison's mind was.

She was saved from a lecture by Diana when the doorbell rang, announcing Roger's arrival.

"I just want the best for you," said Diana.

"I know." Allison reached out to hug her best friend as Diana got up from Allison's bed. "But I do like Roger… a lot. I promise. I'm just still getting over Todd. And I do need to get over him."

"Alright." Diana hugged her back, then gave Allison a little shove toward the door and slapped her butt, making Allison yelp with surprise. "Go get ‘em, girl."

Roger's white, even smile beamed at her when she opened the door, and he held out a small bouquet of lilies. One thing Allison had to say, he didn't disappoint with the flowers, he always brought her a bouquet. Unfortunately, it just reminded her of Todd buying her the single rose and taking her out to a nice restaurant for their final date, which meant even more because he really hadn't had extra money to spend on fripperies. For Roger, it was nothing to show up every week with a bouquet of flowers, although it did show a certain thoughtfulness on his behalf.

Still, he'd do the same for any girl, and maybe that was part of the problem. Allison felt he'd be just as polite, sweet, and thoughtful for any girl. There wasn't a ton of passion on his side, either. He'd never blackmail her into doing perverse and erotic things with him because it was the only way he could have her. Which probably made him normal, but Alison already knew she wasn't.

"Thank you." Smiling, she kept her less than flattering thoughts to herself. Todd would have laughed at her comparing herself to a cow. No. No more thoughts about him. "They're beautiful."

"Beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl," Roger said, smiling. He leaned over and kissed her very gently, his lips soft against hers. She fluttered her eyelashes at him when he pulled away, wishing she felt a matching flutter in her stomach.

* * *

Roger was exactlysix feet tall, putting Allison's head just at the right height for him to kiss her forehead if he wanted to. A few people checked them out as they walked through the restaurant. She knew they made a handsome couple—her brunette hair to his dirty blonde, hazel eyes to green, and her curvy slim figure against his handsomely muscled one. Last week, she'd found out he had a personal trainer, which was what accounted for his impressive physique. When he'd been in prep school, he'd played football and been on the track team, but he didn't have time for that anymore. Now, he was working for her father and impressing businessmen with his mental acuity. Allison was impressed he kept up his fitness regimen, but Roger was nothing if not tightly disciplined.

As he pulled out the chair for her, she smiled and thanked him as she sat; he had all the makings of a 1950s gentleman when it came to treating a lady right. No wonder her parents had thought he'd be perfect for her. Still, there was no flash, no excitement throughout the dinner, just chatting and casual jokes, his slight flirtations as he caressed her hand or said something just barely suggestive. Roger was a great guy, he just didn't excite her the way Todd did. Oops, no. She firmly told herself to keep her mind on where she was now and looked at him attentively as he told her all about his previous summer's trip to Greece. Which was not so far from Turkey… No, don't go there.

Dancing was better. Not that Roger was a bad conversationalist, but she felt like she'd had these conversations a thousand times with other people. Most of the places he'd been to were places where she'd been already, or her friends had been and told her about. His job was very similar to her father's, and she heard about that at every family dinner, and his interests were the same as all their peers. In other words, the same golfing, social events, and parties as every other guy she'd dated. He was a good dancer, and as he flung her around the dance floor, she found herself having a lot of fun, laughing as he mimicked a tango move. Breathless, she was pressed against him for a slower song. It was really supposed to be a waltz, but he was holding her much too closely.

"You're so beautiful tonight," his low voice murmured in her ear. As his hard body pressed against hers, she felt the first stirrings of arousal. Dancing put him in the lead, and he was taking advantage of it. She liked that. It wasn't the passion she'd felt before with… anyway, she'd felt more passion with someone else, but at least it was something. "I wish I could just sweep you away and keep you all night with me under the stars..."

Allison found herself desperately wishing he would do just that… and many other things to her under the stars. Make her forget about… other people. Shifting her position against him, he was very hard. She rubbed against him a little to encourage the notion they should go somewhere else, where he could take her. To her intense disappointment, he pulled away, smiling at her with desire in his eyes.

"Be careful, darling." The smile he gave her was charming, but there was something else in it as well, something almost predatory. That interested her, made her think they could find passion, eventually. The heat in his eyes made her shiver a little. "Otherwise, I might just grab you and take you somewhere where we could be very bad."

Unfortunately, he was all talk and no action. Tonight, she was getting another elusive peek at that darker, more dangerous, and more interesting person he had inside him, but it was still locked away—the way she had been before Todd had come along and ruthlessly ignited her desires.

He ended up pulling her away from the dance floor and over to the bar, ordering drinks to "cool them down." Allison spent the rest of the night with a burning itch in her pussy as they spun around the dance floor, although he took care never to press her as close to him as he had previously, she could tell he was still hard. Why wouldn't he do something about it?

Despite the fact they had been on several dates so far, there hadn't been anything other than kisses. Weren't guys supposed to try something by the third date, at least? Heck, Todd took her out for a couple of drinks, then talked her into coming over to play strip poker. Thinking about that night did absolutely nothing for her libido, and she wasn't supposed to be dwelling on him, anyway.

Shoving thoughts of Todd aside, she did her best to be sweet and pliant for her date.

* * *

At her front door,Roger leaned down to kiss her a polite goodbye. To both his and her surprise, Allison reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt, deepening the kiss and opening her mouth to invite in his tongue. Roughly, his arms went around her waist, pulling her in close to him with a bit of force that sent heat straight through her, and she shivered with pleasure as his body pressed hard against her.

Unfortunately, he took her shiver as a negative. Pulling away, he released her from his arms.

"Sorry... I'm sorry, Allison. I hope I didn't scare you."

"No... oh no, Roger, it wasn't that at all! I was just... it was..."

"It's nice of you to pretend I wasn't just being a bit of a brute." He smiled at her, bashful and ashamed still. Taking her hand, he raised it to his lips.

Damnit, that was not where she wanted his lips. What on earth had made him think he was a brute just for a passionately rough kiss? Okay, so she'd kind of been pretending he was Todd when she grabbed him, but if he kissed her like that more often, maybe she'd be able to forget Todd.

"I'd like to take you out again if you aren't too afraid of me now." He said the last part half-joking, half-serious.

"No... I mean, yes, I'd love to go out with you again, but I'm not afraid of you." Allison desperately wanted to feel his body against hers again—to try to chase away the demons. Thinking about Todd, having Roger suddenly respond to her like that… she wished he would kiss her again... more than kiss her.

Instead, he took both of her hands in his own and lightly kissed her forehead, obviously not trusting himself to do more.

"Good, otherwise, your parents' pool party would have been a bit awkward." He winked at her, his green eyes mischievous. The predatory look that flashed in them was completely gone again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

She closed her eyes with disappointment as he walked to the elevator and waved goodbye before turning the key in her lock and heading inside. The apartment was quiet, which meant Diana had probably gone out for the night. Not surprising. She hoped her roommate was having a better night than she was.

Running to her room, she pulled the brown box out from under her bed. She tried to resist doing this often. It hurt too much emotionally. Shoving the tape into her personal DVD player, she flipped on the small TV she kept in her room. As she watched the final DVD Todd had given her, the one she hadn't been able to bring herself to destroy, Allison began to play with herself. Even though she was touching herself, half of her attention was scrutinizing his gorgeous naked body and the glimpses she caught of his face, looking for some indication he might care about her, some show of body language that revealed what he felt about her beyond sexual attraction. Pinching her nipples, she watched as his massive dick slid between her breasts, his black hair flopping around his head while he pumped away at her chest. Sliding her hand down to her pussy, she started rubbing the wetness covering her lips as she watched him burrow, mouth first, into her pussy. She pushed two of her fingers into her pussy hole as Todd inserted the vibrator into her pussy and another finger into her ass as his slid into hers on camera. Moaning, she could feel one of her most intense orgasms yet beginning to build as she watched Todd pleasure himself with her.

Desire to know his feelings was quickly dissolving into blatant horniness. She pulled the small butt plug he'd left in her ass on their last date from the box, and too desperate to lube it, she shoved it in her mouth and covered it with her saliva. On her hands and knees on her bed, she slammed it into her asshole as Todd's huge dick stretched hers out in front of her, whimpering as she again felt the pain of her anus stretching. Pumping the plug in and out of her ass, she used her other hand to pinch her nipples hard, trying to crush the tender pink buds. Her ass burned and stretched as she fucked it with the plug, but not nearly as much as it had when he'd actually been in her.

"Oh, Todd! Oh, God, I'm Cumming! You're in my ass, and I'm cumming… Oh, Fuck, Todd! Fuck me, Fuck Me, Fuck My Ass!"

Her tinny-sounding voice came out of the TV. Pinching her clit hard, she shoved the butt plug fully inside of her and started cumming as Todd's voice moaned her name, and he dumped a load of cum into her ass. Shaking and spasming on her bed, she continued to pinch her clit until every ounce of the orgasm had been wrung from her body.

She slumped in defeat, her body shivering from the climax but not entirely sated. As usual, she hadn't noticed anything that screamed, "he's secretly in love with you." On the other hand, that had been their first night together. She wished she had a video of their last night.

Allison kept the plug in her ass as she curled up in her bed naked, crying over a man she didn't think she'd ever see again.

* * *

The next dayat her parent's house, Allison lounged in a chair poolside, a pampered princess who no longer needed to host. Oh no, now her daddy wanted her all of her attention on Roger and keeping him happy—setting up her relationship with the perfect man to have the perfect wedding and make lots of perfect little babies for him to set up in more perfect situations. It was hard to remember, for a while, that had been what she wanted too, but ever since Todd, she'd realized her walk on the wild side wasn't really a walk, more of an introduction to a life she craved. Living the lifestyle, she'd been stuck in since birth now grated on her nerves more than it had before when she'd only been able to fantasize about living on her own and having wild sex with men her parents wouldn't consider appropriate. The reality had been so much better because it hadn't just been the sex. It had been the adventure, Todd's silly puns, his caring for people, and the approval to be whoever she wanted.

Before, she'd at least been able to pretend an interest in some of what was going on around her. Now, she found all of these people vacuous, uninteresting. Todd wasn't just someone who had actually worked to put himself through college, he was someone who cared about others. He'd been promoting a fundraiser for children with autism when they'd been going on their ‘dates,' and he'd talked about it a lot. Obviously, it hadn't just been for his business interests. He'd had a genuine interest in making other people's lives better. No wonder he hadn't been interested in having a real relationship with her. She was just another corporate princess.

Since he'd left, she'd started paying more attention to other people outside of her social set. Giving to charities, not just for the tax write-offs or because it was "what one did," like her father, but because she had a genuine interest. It felt good to give them money out of her own paycheck. Since she got her first paycheck, she'd refused her father's monthly allowance, wanting to know what it was like to live like a real person on her own two feet. Maybe then, if she ever ran into Todd again, she'd at least be someone he could respect.

Allison gritted her teeth. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about him anymore, damnit! She turned her eyes to the tall, handsome blonde next to her. His beautiful green eyes were highlighted by the button-down green shirt he was wearing—open to show off his muscular chest—over a forest green bathing suit.

"Can you rub some more sunscreen into my back?" she asked Roger.

"Of course."

Of course—always Roger's answer, whether she needed more sunscreen, another drink, or food. Still, his muscular hands were nice as they massaged her back, rubbing in the lotion. Last summer, she would have been in heaven in this situation—able to neglect her hostessing duties and having a sexy guy at her beck and call. The alluring hint of command that overtook him every once in a while would have excited the hell out of her. Now, she needed more than a hint. She needed… Stop!

Rolling over, Allison glanced over, and her stomach flip-flopped. Chad was walking toward her. He hadn't attended the last family dinner with her Aunt Linda and his father, Linda's husband, Derrick, and Allison hadn't seen him since she'd been gang banged at Todd's house. Her pussy clenched at the memory—all those men, all those orgasms, and all throughout and after, Todd, Todd, Todd. Even when she didn't have a reminder staring her right in the face, she couldn't forget him. How was she supposed to when one of the men he'd shared her with was walking toward her?

The blood drained from her face. Surely, Chad wouldn't say something in front of Roger? She sat up abruptly, looking up at Chad as he stopped next to her chair. Lifting her sunglasses from her eyes, she let him see the pleading in her face.

"Hey, Allison." Chad leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, then quickly whispered in her ear, "Stop worrying."

The anxious knot inside loosened. Chad had become much less of an asshole. Of course, she'd also stopped being so much of a bitch. They still didn't acknowledge each other as family, but they weren't as antagonistic. Chad had even offered to protect her from Todd when she'd shown up for the gang bang, worried his frat buddy was truly taking advantage of her.

"Hello, yourself," Allison said, smiling up at him in relief. She turned slightly, holding out her hand behind her to where Roger was sitting. "Have you met Roger Davis?"

Being the well-bred gentleman he was, Roger immediately stood and offered his hand.

"Chad McCormick," Chad said. "Nice to meet you."

The two men chatted for a minute, exchanging small talk and social pleasantries, while Allison sat between them, sipping her water and trying to cool her nerves. Chad wasn't going to out her, but having him here was doing crazy things to her emotions. It was absolutely insane how two gorgeous blonde men could be right in front of her, and all she could think about was one intensely sexy, dark-haired man.

"Allison, there you are, I've been looking all over for you," Diana said, abruptly popping up next to Chad. Allison had to cough to hide her laughter. She'd brought Diana to the party, and the girl had known exactly where Allison was and where she had been for the past thirty minutes. There was absolutely no doubt about what had really grabbed Diana's attention away from the chocolate fountain in the kitchen.

Looking absolutely stunning in a little two-piece dark pink string number with a matching sarong tied around her hips, Diana shook back her long black hair and smiled up at Chad. In less than two minutes, Diana was working her flirtatious charms on Chad, who responded rapidly. Roger sat down next to Allison, reaching out to hold her hand as they watched the show. Eventually, Diana included them in the conversation by challenging them to a game of chicken. Since Allison was taller than Diana, it was a lot harder for her to balance, and she and Roger ended up losing after a rowdy game. She was glad Diana and her step-cousin seemed to be getting along so well.

When Allison offered to get them drinks from the kitchen and Chad tagged along to "help," she couldn't help feeling a little bit of the fluttering excitement as they walked in together. Maybe he'd know something about when—or if ever—Todd might be back. They were fraternity brothers, after all.

"Roger seems nice," Chad commented as she filled glasses with juice and rum.

"He is," Allison said shortly. She didn't really want to talk about Roger.

"Hmmm..." He was looking out the window to where Diana and Roger sat on lounge chairs, laughing. "Diana's still pretty wild, huh?"

Allison nodded as she put the juice away.

"So… Umm… Heard anything from Todd lately?"

She could practically feel Chad's blue eyes digging into her shoulder blades. Keeping her face averted, she loaded a tray with three of the drinks, pushing Chad's toward him. There was an ominous silence. Allison glanced up at Chad to see an expression alarmingly like pity on his face.

"He was in town last weekend. He didn't call you?"

Her stomach roiled. She quickly looked away, blinking against the tears that suddenly threatened in her eyes.

"No," was all she could say without losing control over the threatening tears.

"Do you want me to kick his ass for you next time he's in town?"

Allison laughed, a harsh, bitter laugh. "Thanks, but no."

Todd hadn't done anything that deserved an ass kicking. He'd only given her what she asked for, nothing more and nothing less. The fact he took her heart in the bargain wasn't his fault. At the same time, as she and Chad went out to the backyard, him opening doors for her along the way so she could keep the tray steady, a slow-burning fury started to rise.

So, she meant so little to him, he couldn't even call her when he was in town? It had been just past a month last weekend since they'd seen each other. Apparently, that was all the time he needed to get over her. What the hell was she doing still moping over him?

* * *

Later,she managed to get Roger up to her old room with the pretense of looking at some of her old photo albums. Not that she'd ever try to truly inflict those on a guy. Although, to his credit, he'd actually seemed somewhat interested in looking at pictures of her as a child and teenager. It wasn't too long before they were kissing on her bed, just the way she'd hoped. Well, almost the way she'd hoped. He wasn't on top of her or even under her. They were side by side, where she couldn't feel the heat of his whole body. She could barely even feel his hardness pressing into her, which had her monumentally frustrated. Running her hands over his body, down to his hips, she tried to encourage him to more.

For a moment, it seemed she had succeeded when one of his hands ran up along her body to cup her breast, the touch gentle and light. She moaned into his mouth, pressing it against him, trying to get him to squeeze her breast harder. Instead, it was only the same light, teasing touch. He stroked her with feather-light touches, igniting a fire between her legs without doing anything to quench it. Her hips moved against his more firmly. His dick was hard in his bathing suit, she could feel it. Why wouldn't he do anything??

She was a little afraid to try anything too forward with him because that's not what good little corporate princesses did. There was still a large part of her afraid of condemnation for her desires. It was one of the things she'd like best about Todd. Not only had he not thought she was a slut, he'd liked she wanted things to be wild. In fact, he'd pushed her boundaries far past what she would have ever done on her own, and it had meant nothing to him other than more pleasure for both of them. Not once had he judged her for what she wanted. Mostly, he'd just indulged her.

Pushing thoughts of him aside, Allison redoubled her efforts with Roger, focusing on how good he smelled, the way his lips felt as they moved against hers, the soft touch of his hands.

An hour later, they hadn't gotten farther than his light touches on her aching breasts, and it was time for him to go. She clung to him a little as he left, kissing him deeply and passionately, wishing he would pick up on her needs and follow through. He just said goodbye and looked forward to seeing her again, then with a last press of his lips against hers, he was gone.

Turning, she saw her father and Chad chatting as they walked down the hallway.

"Bye, Allison," Chad said as he opened the front door to leave, then he paused for a moment as if he'd just had a thought. "Hey, are you doing anything tonight?"

"No." Roger couldn't go out, and she and Diana hadn't made plans because she'd hoped Roger might come over.

"Wanna come out to this new club with me? My friend owns it, and supposedly, it's killer... and maybe you could see if Diana wants to come."

Mutely, Allison nodded as Chad smiled and left. The perfect excuse to get out and forget about things. Dashing out to the backyard, she asked Diana, who said she'd be happy to come along and was pleased Chad had asked for her in particular. It made Allison happy to set them up again, and although a little jealous, she realized she wasn't particularly disappointed Roger wouldn't be there—not when she was still thinking about another man.