Chapter 4

TORI

I twist my hands together as my stomach turns in knots. Phoebe reaches over and grabs my hand, offering a weak smile, and I take a steadying breath, trying to calm myself.

“Everything will be okay,” she reassures me. I look down at her hand holding mine and tears threaten to fall.

“Miss Harding?” shouts the nurse from the other end of the waiting room. I push to stand on my unsteady feet, and Phoebe is right behind me as we follow the nurse along a corridor. We stop outside a room, and she opens the door for me to go inside.

“Good morning,” the nurse says as she lowers into the seat. Her soothing voice settles my nerves, and I smile.

“Morning,” I offer, my voice wavering slightly.

“I’m going to take some rough notes before the doctor comes to see you. Is that okay?” I nod, looking down at my hands as they rest in my lap. “Do you know how far along you are or when your last period was?”

I try to think back and realise I can’t even remember my last period. The past few months have been a complete whirlwind, and it makes me realise how stupid and irresponsible I have been. “Erm . . . I have no idea, I’m so sorry.” The wobble in my voice must give me away, and she reaches across the desk to give my arm a gentle squeeze. “I discovered I was pregnant when I got admitted to the hospital for—” I begin to choke up again when the realisation that I’d self-harmed so badly while unknowingly pregnant hits me. My heart aches at the thought of harming myself to the point that we would no longer be here, neither of us. I place my hand over my mouth as a choked sob escapes.

Phoebe places her arm around me. “She had a self-harm incident, and the hospital discovered she was pregnant. She doesn’t really know much more. As you can imagine, her frame of mind wasn’t in the best place then and it’s taken a while for her to come to terms with it. The baby wasn’t planned,” Phoebe finishes for me.

The nurse reaches over with a box of tissues, offering me one. “Okay, not to worry.” She then types some notes on the computer. “We can get a scan sorted to confirm your dates.” She smiles. “You’re in safe hands here, Victoria.”

“Thank you, and it’s Tori,” I whisper.

“I also want to take some bloods and check you over physically to make sure you’re okay. You look very pale and tired, and you may need some extra vitamins, like iron. Is that okay?” I nod, because right now, it’s all I can muster.

The nurse takes my bloods, vitals, and checks my height and weight. I’m so thankful Phoebe is here, reassuring me throughout it all, because I’d hate to be doing it alone. Alone. I hate that word, but that’s what I am. My mind wanders off to Dmitry. He’d want to be here, I know he would. And deep down, I want him here too. Even though I’m angry with him, and I’m questioning my decisions about everything involving him, I still miss him.

The nurse pulls me out of my haze. “Okay, so your blood results will be sent to you via text message in a few days. They will give us an indication of whether you need any further medication such as iron or vitamin D. I suspect you might, because you’re quite underweight. Were you aware?” I give a slight nod. “Are you eating well?”

“Sickness,” I mutter with a shrug.

“I’d like you to focus on eating the right foods, so they sustain you and the growth of that little one inside. I’ll need to monitor you closely over the next couple weeks to make sure you’re putting on weight and taking good care of yourself.”

A tear falls from my eye. I already feel as though I’m failing my child by not looking after myself. “Will the baby be okay?”

“Let’s get the scan done and we’ll know exactly how he or she is progressing,” she says with a smile. “Also, I think it would be a good idea to refer you to the prenatal mental health team so they can keep an eye on you,” she adds. “Just because you mentioned self-harm. Stress is no good for the little one and having that extra support is key.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. Without Dmitry there to help me, the urge to self-harm again might return, and the nurse would be stupid not to take me seriously.

I swipe angrily at my tears. “I saw a therapist for some time,” I mutter. I need her to understand that I was prepared to make changes to better myself. I sit up and straighten my shoulders before continuing. “But it didn’t work out as we had a difference of opinion. She believed I had an emotionally unstable personality disorder. I don’t. I just have a messed-up past, and the way I’ve dealt with that was self-harm. Talking helped and I’d like to continue but through this practice and this doctor.”

She frowns, scanning her eyes over the computer screen. “I can’t see anything here in your medical records.”

“No, it was private, and when I disagreed, we cut ties. I don’t think we even made a full session,” I lie, knowing full well that conniving bitch made no notes on my real medical record.

“Okay, well, I can get the doctor to arrange that for you. Take a seat in the waiting room and the doctor will call you when he’s ready.”

“Thanks,” I say, standing. I make my way to the door. “And thanks for being so kind to me.” Because, lately, I don’t feel like anyone but Phoebe is being genuine.

The nurse also smiles. “Of course, Tori.”

We go back to the waiting room and sit down. I release a long breath, feeling the earlier tension leave my body. “You did good, Tori,” Phoebe says, rubbing my arm affectionately.

“What if something’s wrong with the baby?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” she reassures me. “But if that kid is anything like you, it’ll be strong.”

My eyes fill with tears again and a lump forms in my throat. “What if the baby doesn’t have a heartbeat?” I whisper, covering my face with my hands. I feel my panic rising again.

Phoebe places her arm around my shoulders and hugs me to her. “It’s normal to feel like this, I’m sure. It’s your first baby and you don’t know what to expect. But it’s all going to be fine.”

“Maybe Dmitry should’ve been here,” I say, my tone panicked. “I didn’t know I’d be having a scan today, and he’d want to be here.”

“Right now, he doesn’t matter. Give yourself time to get over what happened. Forgiving him when you’re emotionally drained might backfire when you feel better again.”

“Miss Harding,” an older gentleman calls from a doorway.

I stand, brushing away tears as I head over. He holds out his hand, and we shake. “I’m Doctor Rogers,” he introduces with a smile.

“I’m Tori,” I say weakly.

“Follow me.” We go into a room and the lights are turned down low. He gestures for me to lie on the bed. “Let’s get this scan done so we can see how your little one is coming along. Lift your top for me, Tori. I’m going to place this cold gel along your abdomen so we can get a good look at what’s going on.”

I do as he asks while Phoebe sits in the chair beside me. He runs the gel along my stomach and then places the camera over it. He stares at the screen, and my heart is in my mouth. It feels like forever before he turns the screen to me and increases the sound. The doctor smiles as a whooshing noise fills the room. “That is the sound of a very healthy heartbeat.”

I give a small laugh, and it’s mixed with a sob, but this time, they’re tears of joy. All my anxiety is released just by hearing my baby’s heart beating.

He points to the screen. “Can you see this right here?” There’s a flickering, and I nod. “This is your baby’s heart beating. Everything looks perfect. You’re measuring at ten weeks and three days.”

I’m speechless, and so is Phoebe as we both stare aimlessly at the screen. After a few minutes, the doctor wipes away the gel, and I sit up, pulling my top back into place.

He hands me a printout of the scan, and as I stare at the grainy images, I can’t help but smile. I continue to stare at it as I leave the practice and get into the back of Marshall’s car.

“Everything okay?” he asks, eyeing me in the rearview mirror. I glance up to nod before returning my gaze to the picture.

“All good,” Phoebe offers. “Baby is healthy. We just need to fatten her up,” she adds with a laugh.

DMITRY

Kat’s is busy for an afternoon. It’s also the last place I want to be right now, but I need to keep up appearances so my father and Vivian don’t get wind of my tactics to take them down.

Not only that, but it allows me to concentrate on something other than obsessing over Victoria.

Marshall had called to notify me she was seeing a doctor today. He mentioned she’d been reluctant to have him take her, but she also didn’t like the idea of being out and about without protection, so she relented when he offered to drive them. The fact she took Phoebe over me is just another way for her to distance herself. I honestly expected her to call by now.

I head to the bar in the VIP lounge. I haven’t been around much and want to check in with my bar manager, Stuart. I reach over the bar and shake his hand. “Busy in here today,” I comment. “How’s it been recently?” I ask as he pours me a whiskey.

“Numbers are good, boss, as usual. There’s a couple new DJs coming in tomorrow morning for a try-out,” he says as he passes my drink to me.

“How are takings?” I ask, sipping of the auburn liquor and allowing it to ease the tension.

“We’re up on last quarter.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Sorry I’ve been absent lately.” I don’t give an explanation, and none of my staff expect one.

“That’s what you hired me for, right?” he asks with a smirk. “You can deal with your other businesses without worrying about this place,” he adds, wiping down the bar with a towel.

I nod, grabbing my glass and making my way to my office.

I can still hear the slight drum of the music from the bar as I take a seat on the leather sofa, resting my head back and staring at the ceiling.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out. My heart skips a few beats as I see ‘ Krasota ’ on the screen. Sliding the lock, I open the text. It’s an image of a pregnancy scan, and it immediately brings a smile to my face. Seeing that smudge in the centre of the picture is the reason I can never walk away. My child grows within her, a child who deserves me to be better than my father ever was, and there is no way I can let any harm come to either of them again. I make a promise to myself that one day soon, she will be back where she belongs and those fuckers who tried to take her from me will be ten feet under.

My heart swells with joy, a feeling that was alien to me until Victoria came crashing into my life. It’s something I never even thought I would be capable of, a love I never knew existed. I reply instantly.

Me: Thank you, my krasota. Both of you are my world and I let you down. Forgive me. D x

I stare at my phone for what seems like an age, but no reply comes. I know that winning her back isn’t going to be easy, and it’s only what I deserve for allowing my judgement to be clouded.

Dialling my father’s number, I need to get the ball rolling if I’m ever going to make them pay. He answers on the second ring. “What can I do for you, moy syn?”

I sense his unease. I’m sure he’s waiting for me to discover what he’s done.

“I’m just looking over the current figures for some of the businesses and the numbers aren’t tallying up. We need to arrange a meeting.” My tone is abrupt, hopefully putting him even more on edge.

“That’s odd. I took a look over those figures myself. Are you doubting my ability, moy syn?” he demands. He hates to be doubted, and I can’t wait until he learns the families are questioning his ability to run things.

“Of course, I trust you. I have no reason not to. But Vivian’s another story. I’ve noticed she’s disappeared since Victoria’s re-appearance.” I sigh, tapping my fingers on the arm of the couch. “I thought she would’ve been pleased with the fact Victoria’s left me and hanging off my every word. I wonder if she’s found someone else?” I ask thoughtfully.

“You sound a little jealous, Dmitry,” he mutters, and I laugh at his inability to read between the lines.

“I’ve been there, and since then, I’ve tasted so much better. Plus, I don’t like to mix business and pleasure because things get a little . . . confusing. And that is how mistakes arise.”

I imagine him pacing because I’m getting under his skin, and I’m enjoying every minute. “I will bring her over to you within the hour. We can clear up whatever it is that’s bothering you with the figures.”

“Within the hour, Father, quick work. It would suggest you’re with her, no?” He disconnects the call, and I laugh out loud. I’ve hit a nerve.

Sure enough, after an hour exactly, my father walks through my office door with Vivian trailing behind. She’s pale, and her eyes flit around the room without landing on me, a sure sign she’s nervous. My father allows her to pass him then places his hand on the small of her back reassuringly.

I make my way around the desk to where she is and lean down to place a kiss on her cheek, just as I would in any other meeting. She stiffens at my touch, and a sense of satisfaction runs through me. “Lovely to see you again, Vivian. It’s been a while. Are you okay?” I ask as I make my way back round to my office chair and take a seat.

My father and Vivian sit opposite me, and my father’s security detail stand just inside the office door, which is unusual.

“Sorry, Dmitry. It’s been very tiring. My mother isn’t well at the moment,” she replies. I almost smile at her obvious lie. I like to keep my enemies close, and I visited her mother just yesterday to do exactly that. She mentioned she’d hardly seen Vivian at all since her father died.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe that’s why there appears to be some discrepancies in these figures,” I suggest as I push the spreadsheet across the table to her.

My father snatches it before she gets a chance to even look at it. “Don’t waste my time, Dmitry. I looked over these myself,” he tells me while running his eyes over them.

“I wouldn’t be protecting my own investment if I didn’t go through it all with a fine-tooth comb. Maybe you’ve been a little preoccupied with your new plaything,” I suggest smugly, and he glares over the sheet at me. I put my hands up and laugh, trying to break the ice a little. “Given the fact that one of my own men was responsible for holding Victoria captive, I would imagine you of all people would appreciate me double checking those closest to me.”

Vivian glances at my father with panic in her eyes, which she quickly disguises by bringing her hand to her face and forcing a cough. “I thought she was in hospital?” she asks with a frown.

I smirk, admiring the way she’s trying to act like she knows nothing of the past few weeks. “Nope,” I say, popping the P. “Turns out Nik was behind everything. He made me think she was crazy and then took her.”

“I’m so sorry, Dmitry. I know how besotted you were with her. Is she okay?” she asks innocently.

“I couldn’t tell you, Vivian. She’s made the decision to cut me from her life. She doesn’t trust me to keep her safe. I can’t blame her really, can I?”

I watch her eyes light up as she makes a grab for my hand. “Well, you know where we are if you need anything,” she says, and there’s a note of seduction in her tone.

I glance at my father and notice his jaw is clenched. I’m certain jealousy is coursing through his veins. Interesting .

He throws the papers on the table, grabbing Vivian’s hand and pulling her to stand. “There’s nothing wrong with these fucking numbers,” he snaps, and Vivian frowns. I stand and gather the pages together. “I think you need to get Leo to check over them again because you are clearly losing your touch, Dmitry.”

Vivian rests her hand on my father’s arm, and I watch as he relaxes under her touch. “Vladamir,” she says softly, “give him a break. He’s had a tough few weeks. At least he’s focusing all his attention on work. It’s what you wanted, remember?” She smiles up at him as his frame towers over her.

“Sort your shit out. I need to get back to Russia before the families start breathing down my neck about cleaning up your mess,” he spits before dragging Vivian from the office.

I flop back in my chair, satisfied that I’m slowly piercing his armour. And today, I’ve witnessed that he has feelings for Vivian, something I can use to my advantage.