20. Just a Little Heat

Sophie smiled at him shyly as he gently pushed some loose strands of hair away from her forehead. She was lying in the makeshift bookkeepers' desk they had created, an incomplete version of the ones used by the Potentia ad Opus spies. It wasn't perfect, but for now, it was sufficient.

"Are you feeling all right?" Felix asked Sophie, love in his eyes.

It was fascinating how Felix, his best hacker, was already becoming more powerful. Once they were fully bonded, he expected Felix to break into networks they could have only dreamed about before.

"Oui, quite all right," she mumbled, still disoriented from the interference with her psyche.

Her mind had been an open book to him, so willing was she to lose the memories of the violence inflicted on her by her supposed "mate". The very man who should have protected her had abused his power and terrorized the poor omega with his overbearing control. One more proof that the people in charge were fallible. She never stood a chance against the powerful connections the alpha had and Marcel's own ego. She had become a plaything, a living doll for him to manipulate.

It only reinforced his own resolve in bringing the Potentia ad Opus down.

They had created this new society under the promise of a better world. A world without war or disease, where the strong protected the weak, and everyone had a place. Except—not everyone did.

He glanced up at Archie, a doctor whose conditioning had partly failed and who was now unable to disobey any orders from alphas, even orders that put lives in danger. Even orders to kill. The powers at work couldn't allow that, so he was marked to disappear. And disappear he did, right into the arms of the other strays, who looked out for their own kind.

When he delved into Sophie's memories, he saw one of the scientists who had created the Tube, a figure hidden almost perfectly except for the soft spot she had for her son. And that soft spot was what led to an omega being terrorized.

Sophie's memories had given him many precious bits of information. He had wondered how an alpha was able to coerce an omega into sex without using violence. And he'd found something he had no idea about. Archie said it could be caused by a sudden estrogen overload, an overwhelming increase in libido that left the omega extremely vulnerable.

He shuddered to think that might happen to Alice before he was able to retrieve her from her guardians. Sophie's experience with it had been a roller coaster of emotions, both wonderful and foul. But even the wonderful ones were tainted by her lack of control over them.

He had done his best to erase those memories—or, at least, most of them. He wanted her to be free of the trauma Marcel had caused. But he had not touched some key moments. It was good for Sophie to have a reminder of why she didn't want to go back into the arms of the new, changed society. Fear would keep her with them, of her own free will.

Those memories had also given him an idea of how to turn Alice away from her protectors and into his arms.

The room was too hot.

Alice shoved the sheets down, away from her body, in an attempt to cool down, but it still felt too warm. So she got up from the bed and walked in sleepy steps to the thermostat on the wall. She hated using air conditioning in the bedroom, but the heat was not letting her sleep.

Sluggish confusion set in when she saw the thermostat was already all the way down. Lifting an arm to feel the air coming from the vent, she concluded it must be broken. The air coming from it was warm, so she turned it off.

Instead, she opened the bedroom windows all the way to let in the cool ocean breeze. It shouldn't be this hot in October—at least, not at this time of night—but it felt like peak August was still here. Boss looked up from his bed, indifferent to the heat in the room. The lazy mop yawned, rolled around, and found a comfortable position to continue his slumber.

Lying down in bed with a sigh, she tried to go back to sleep.

But no matter how much she moved around in bed, the sheets still felt too damn warm, and they irritated her skin. Tossing and turning, she found no way to get comfortable. Her skin was overly sensitive, and even her pajamas irritated her, so she took them off. Her panties were chafing her, so they went next.

She got some relief when the breeze from outside touched her naked skin. Was this how it felt to be an alpha and sleep in the heat? Bruno was always complaining about how hot everything was after his conversion, and Gabriel had the same grievances. Both men liked to cool their hands on her cold arms, and Bruno loved to sleep naked and tangled up in her body. Then he would use that excuse to let his hands roam all over her, and explore her every curve.

How she missed that. She could still remember the feel of his hand caressing her skin from her ass all the way up until it cupped her breast, where he would play with a nipple. And then he would slowly drag his fingers all the way down until he reached between her legs.

An electric sizzle brushed down her skin, from her breasts to her core, at the memory. It was almost as if she could actually feel his hands. She half-opened her eyes and saw Gabriel next to her, brushing the naked skin below her breasts with his knuckles.

He dragged the back of his hand down her belly until he reached between her legs and gently parted her, teasing a finger over her most sensitive spot. The sizzle suddenly became a pleasurable jolt that woke her up.

A dream…

Sitting up in bed, she cursed out loud. "Shit."

She knew what this was. Her libido had been dancing all around her for the past months, coming at her with increasingly stronger waves of lust. And now it seemed it had invited itself in, making her crave someone she could never have again.

And her mind had drifted to someone she could have, but was avoiding like the plague.

If she marched into Gabriel's room right now, she was quite sure he wouldn't refuse her. But would it be him embracing her, or would it be the alpha embracing the omega?

Well, there was only one way she could get rid of the stupid heat.

She tried to remember the way Bruno used to touch her. Imagining his lips on her skin, she let her hands roam her body like he used to. Bruno loved to tease her by gently kissing and licking the skin just below her belly, smiling between her legs. But her mind must have been addled by lust, because it was Gabriel she now saw smiling between her legs.

She opened her eyes to find herself still alone in her room. Had she fallen asleep?

With a groan, she focused back on Bruno, trying to remember how he'd liked to wake her up in the morning by poking her with his erection in an attempt to arouse her. Her mind swam in that memory until it focused on a different erection pressing against her back, and a pair of heavy legs trapping hers in place.

No, not Gabriel again.

She sat up and fluffed her pillows in frustration. She wanted her husband, not Gabriel. Why was her imagination going off on its own?

Face down on the bed, she trapped her hand between the mattress and her groin and let a finger slip into herself. Bruno… She wanted to focus on Bruno's touch. Not Gabriel hugging her from behind and slipping a hand inside her pants, rubbing her as he kissed her neck and—

She sat up again, her body aroused beyond frustration and her mind going to places she was afraid of venturing.

Taking a deep breath through her mouth, she let herself fall back into the mattress, suppressing a groan of frustration. Beads of sweat dropped from her forehead, and she was so hot, her brain was distorting the world around her. There was a fog creeping around her mind, making it hard to think straight. It was like she was drunk.

She tried again to imagine Bruno in the bed with her, his fingers caressing her, his tongue on her breast. She imagined his erection sliding between her legs from behind, and Gabriel's strong hands pulling her to him, nestling her in his arms.

Oh, fuck this!

Alice groaned into her pillow and stood up, making her way to the bathroom.

She would not give in to the heat. She wouldn't allow lust to decide her life. Turning the cold water all the way on, she stepped into the cold stream and winced. Her mind cleared for two seconds before the water felt warmer, the arousal numbed but still there. It was not enough. This stupid heat was going to kill her. Her imagination kept sneaking images of Gabriel touching her past the fog clouding her judgment. It was already difficult staying emotionally distant from him; she didn't need her body flaring with lust for him as well.

Turning off the water made her body creep back into the arousal she had before. She got out of the shower and leaned into the cold wall. Another image jumped to her mind, one of being pushed against the wall, Matts pinning her and teasing her lips.

Oh, no, not him…

Grabbing a T-shirt at random, Alice left the room and made her way to the kitchen. She took a cold water bottle from the fridge and went outside. The water felt warm on her lips, and the night air wasn't cool enough to help. Her eyes fell on the pool. It should be nice and cold, and maybe it would be enough.

Not bothering to take off her T-shirt, she went down the tile steps and into the cold inviting water. Although the fog was completely clouding her judgment, she was careful not to make any noise. The last thing she wanted was to wake Gabriel. She just needed to cool off for a few minutes before she went back to bed.

She walked to the deeper end of the pool, until the water hit her chin. The cold seeped into her bones, and her fingers and toes began to hurt. Parting her legs, she let the cold water wash away the heat from her core. Finally, some relief…

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He wasn't sure what woke him up. The house was quiet, there was no wind outside, and even the ocean was treading lightly. But there was something nagging at his insides, putting him on edge.

He turned around in bed and tried to return to his dream. He was dreaming about Alice and their nights together almost a year ago. In his dreams, she didn't run away from him. In this dream, she had bonded with him. He wanted to dream some more before returning to the harsh reality of her refusal.

The faint sound of a door opening grabbed his attention. There were soft steps outside, near Alice's bedroom, going to the kitchen.

Why was she up at this hour? Was she having trouble sleeping?

He tried to go back to sleep, but curiosity poked at his sides. He got up and put on a pair of boxers, not wanting to surprise Alice in the nude. Walking into the kitchen and finding it empty, he looked around and found Alice outside, going down the steps of the pool.

The pool was not heated and it was the middle of the night in October. Was she crazy?

He rushed outside.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded.

Alice looked back at him, her eyes dazed.

"Go away, Gabriel. I can't sleep."

"And you thought freezing to death would help with that?" he replied, dumbfounded. His angry footsteps thundered around the pool as he made his way to her.

Leaning down, he slid his hands under her arms and plucked her from the freezing water. Her lips were blue, and her skin was ice cold. The T-shirt she was wearing was drenched and clinging to her body, and had become transparent. He felt himself heat up at the sight, but his instinct to protect her was stronger than the arousal he was getting from her almost-naked body. He took a towel from one of the lounge chairs and wrapped it around her. It wasn't enough to cover all of her. Wherever he touched her, she was freezing, but she wasn't shaking with the cold. Something was seriously wrong here, and he needed to figure out what it was. He pulled her into his embrace, and rubbed her arms and back to warm her up. The chlorine smell from the pool filled his nostrils as he tried to use friction to heat her skin.

Alice made an odd sound, something like a whine. Was he hurting her? He had to get her inside.

She gasped when Gabriel put one arm behind her knees and picked her up. Entering the house carrying her like a groom on his wedding night, he made his way to the gas fireplace. Then he sat her on the fluffy carpet and turned the fireplace on.

"No, please," she begged him. "No more heat."

"You are fucking freezing," he snapped at her.

Alice tried to crawl away from the fire, but he sat down behind her and trapped her in his arms and legs, facing the heat. She struggled to get away from him, but the cold had leached all the strength from her arms.

"Alice, please," he pleaded. "You are freezing. You need to warm up."

He rubbed the already damp towel on every inch of her skin he could reach, trying to dry her.

"It's too hot." Her voice sounded husky and lethargic. "It's burning me from the inside."

Realization hit him hard, and he stopped his frantic movements.

"Is it the heat, Alice?" he asked, his own voice gruff. His arousal took over his anger.

Hunching over, Alice tried to hide from his gaze. She didn't reply.

Gabriel put his hands inside the towel and pulled off the T-shirt she was wearing, throwing it near the fireplace. It hit the floor with a wet thump. He wanted to get up and get a dry towel, but Alice unexpectedly let herself fall back into his arms and snuggled against his skin. Her freezing skin pressed against his warm chest, chilling and arousing him at the same time. Her breathing was ragged, and he started to panic that she might be going into hypothermia. He placed a hand on her forehead and, letting go of modesty, he touched her ribs and belly.

"How the fuck are you freezing and burning at the same time?"

Alice gave him a desperate look. He lost himself in her dark-brown eyes for a moment. He had to protect her, make her safe. He wanted to fix this and didn't know how.

A hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and she drew him down into a kiss. Taken by surprise, Gabriel didn't resist. Her cold lips met his warm ones, and he felt her tongue taste him. He pulled away, fighting himself and his need.

"Alice…"

He wanted nothing more in this world than to have her. Truly have her, like Bruno once did. She wouldn't refuse him like this. No, he corrected himself, she couldn't refuse. It wasn't the same.

Marcel's advice ran through his mind. You wait for your omega to go into heat, and then you take what you want. And here it was, just as he said. Alice beyond conscious will, overpowered by her own dynamic. His for the taking.

Fuck!

He brought the towel up around her shoulders, and Alice snuggled closer to him. The skin of her bare bottom caressed his inner thigh. She wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Alice, sweetie, this is not what you want," he told her gently.

Ignoring him, Alice kissed the curve of his neck, slowly dragging her lips on his skin, filling him with sensual pleasure.

How was someone supposed to resist this? He was getting hard, and it was only the coldness of both Alice and the towel keeping a full erection at bay.

"Damn it, Alice, you are making this really fucking hard." Gabriel shifted away from her, and she whined in protest.

She was so fucking vulnerable right now, and not thinking clearly. It pained him. It pained him that what he wanted the most wasn't being offered to him by her own free will. He wanted her to want him. He needed her to bond with him.

His hand traveled to the curve of her waist, and he found himself reaching for her inner thigh, without having made a conscious decision to do so. He stopped himself and his hand shook with the effort of fighting his lust.

An image of Sophie throwing her necklace at Marcel's feet jumped to his mind. Was that what he wanted? Hate hidden by powerlessness?

"Gabriel, please…" Alice pleaded.

Shaking the towel off her shoulders, she grabbed his hand and pressed it to her breast, squeezing it. He yanked his hand off her, as if she was on fire.

Desire flooded through him, his anger at her completely forgotten. He was holding on to his control by a thread, and she seemed intent on cutting him loose. But he was not going to make this choice for her.

"You don't want me?" she asked, disappointment in her voice.

"Alice, there is nothing I want more in this world than to make you mine." He sighed, resting his forehead on hers. "But not like this. This isn't fair to either of us."

"Please, Gabriel, I need you."

"I'm not going to touch you while you are like this." His voice was rough, and his hands shook.

He picked her up from the floor and carried her to his bedroom. There, he laid her down on the bed, stretched out beside her, and pulled a blanket over both of them.

"Too hot," she complained.

Gabriel shushed her, and hugged her closer, skin on skin, to warm her still-freezing arms and legs. Her back was still cold, but her abdomen was scalding. He pinned her and used his own body heat to warm her up, while being careful not to touch her anywhere that might arouse her.

She tried to turn around and touch him, but he didn't let her. He would go through hell on earth and spend the night pinning her down to keep her safe from herself, but he would not touch her.

"Gabriel?"

"It's okay, Alice, please try to sleep." He kissed the back of her head, and rubbed the skin of her wrists, but didn't let her go.

She stopped resisting and settled back against him, pushing her back into his chest and wiggling her butt against his erection.

"You really don't play fair, do you?" he mused, more to himself than her.

"Gabriel, talk to me," she whispered to him. "I like it when you talk."

That, he could do. A smile on his lips, he rubbed his cheek on hers. At least he'd learned something new with all of this.

"I wish you believed me when I said I was in love with you," he confessed. "I have been in love with you for a long time now, Alice. It's not the alpha in me entranced by your omega. I've been in love with you since before you were converted."

Her breathing was slowing and deepening, and her skin felt warmer. He didn't know how much of this she would remember tomorrow, but the time felt right to confess his true feelings to her.

"When Bruno asked for me to be your second, I nearly jumped at the chance. I felt so duplicitous, letting him think it was a favor for him," Gabriel continued. "I still feel guilty about all of this. You should hate me. But I want your love, and every time you refuse me, it breaks my heart."

He listened to her breathing. She was fast asleep now, but he wanted to let it all out. His voice lower, he continued to confess his sins to her.

"I know this is karma. All those women I seduced and let fall in love with me. I knew what I was doing. I knew I would break their hearts. I guess it's only fair that you should break mine…"

Gabriel woke up the next morning with a start. Alice wasn't in bed with him, and he hadn't noticed her leaving.

With Alice in his arms like that, he hadn't expected to fall asleep at all. He had spent most of the night acutely aware that she was naked and aroused, and so very vulnerable. It was the hardest night of his life, in more ways than one, and his body was stiff and painful this morning.

Jumping out of bed, he went in search of Alice. She was not in the bathroom, or in her room, or in the kitchen. He went outside and found her walking along the grass, watching Boss while he did his business.

The wind had picked up this morning, and the cold autumn air chilled his skin. He could hear waves crashing furiously against the rocks below, the sea spray jumping so high that the air tasted salty.

It was a good sign that she was wearing her favorite wool coat. The heat had probably subsided. Her damp hair fell down her back, and her shoulders were hunched, her arms around herself. Still not fully recovered, however, if she was indifferent to the cold wind.

He watched Boss pick up one of his toys, a little stuffed elephant, and take it to Alice. An offering to appease her, maybe? Big as he was, he was still very much a puppy. She took the elephant and scratched his head until he lay down and offered her his belly. His yelps of pure satisfaction as Alice gave him belly rubs told Gabriel at least one male was happy in this house.

He was not going to be jealous of a dog. He wasn't.

But the truth was, there was only one year to go until Matts got his turn to charm her, something Gabriel was failing miserably at. He hated to think of that possibility. He might never see her again if Matts got his way. Would the other alpha allow her to keep Boss? Would he let Alice see her friends—friends who were counting on him to keep her with them? He was failing them too.

He walked up to her, but as soon as he got close, she stood and walked a few paces away from him. Boss looked at each of them, confused.

"Alice?" he asked gently. Was she afraid of him?

"I'm sorry." She refused to meet his eyes.

"Are you okay? Do we need to go to Daniel's clinic?"

"No." She nearly jumped at the suggestion. "We don't, please."

Her eyes were red and puffy. Had she been crying? Gabriel hesitated, unsure what to do.

Alice turned toward the ocean, turning up her coat collar.

"I'm sorry," she said so softly, he could barely hear her over the sound of the waves. "I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to… I wasn't…"

"Why do you keep apologizing for things that aren't your fault?" He imagined it was easier to apologize than to have an honest conversation about this.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, even lower. If he wasn't an alpha, he might not even have heard her.

"Alice, we need to talk about last night," he said, perhaps more firmly than he intended to.

"I don't want to talk about it." Alice wrapped her arms around herself again and turned to Boss, who had picked up his toy again to give to her.

"I want to talk about it," Gabriel insisted. "We can't just pretend things are okay after what happened."

"And what happened, Gabriel?" she asked, close to crying.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember some parts. I remember I kissed you." She looked up from Boss, and into his eyes. "I woke up naked with you in bed. Did we—?"

"No, we didn't." He sighed. "I rejected your offer."

She looked surprised, and perhaps even a little hurt? Probably wishful thinking.

"I thought it was what you wanted."

He gave a humorless laugh. "Not like this, Alice, for fuck's sake." He tried to get closer to her but she stepped back. "Alice, I want nothing more in this world than for you to be mine. But I want you to want me, not for you to come to me because there is no other choice."

She watched his face for a few seconds before nodding. Then she went back to the house, walking around him as if she was afraid of getting too close.

He could scream right now. This stupid heat had undone something between them. The easygoing confidence and complicity he had built up so far, gone in a single night.

Gabriel walked closer to the edge of the cliff and took a deep breath when a wave hit the rocks below, lightly spraying him with icy water. When the crash of a big wave overtook all other sounds around him, he allowed himself one loud cry of frustration.

Each wave was like a reprimand from a woman he had seduced and discarded, all reminding him that he had been the one frustrating them. Denying them what they wanted. Teasing them with something they could never truly have.

Karma, indeed…