16. A Doggy Christmas

Alice stretched out on the couch, ready to slip into a food coma. The past three days had been a blur of official Christmas functions and family gatherings, all rolled into a ball of never-ending people and food.

She hadn't been in the mood to celebrate and would have preferred to just stay home by herself, but unlike last year, when they had a quiet celebration with just their closest friends, Gabriel had dragged her around the country with him.

Her sigh echoed in the large living room, and she stared at the huge tree next to the window. It was her second Christmas without Bruno.

Her eyes strayed from the Christmas tree and landed on the coffee table. There sat Matts's Christmas gift, a book by a Norwegian author, in its original language. Matts's note peeked out from between the pages:

Now you have to learn Norwegian.

The bastard. Alice was going to learn it anyway, but she wasn't going to talk to him in Norwegian. Or at all, if she could help it. He had been visiting them often and he annoyed her to no end, always finding some excuse to be around her when she was with her friends. Good thing he didn't know Portuguese, with all the nicknames Naomi had started calling him.

Her musings were interrupted by Gabriel coming into the living room with a big grin on his face and sitting down on the couch next to her, pinning her against the pillows. Since the nights they spent together, looking for the "spy", he had gotten into the habit of cuddling with her. At first, she'd thought it was because of the anxiety he felt due to the breach in their security, but he continued to do it at every opportunity, even when he was relaxed.

"Your nan's cooking is delicious," she told him. "And your family is adorable. I loved your little nephew. But they fed me too much."

The happiness and excitement exuding from him was palpable. She thought she would be able to feel it even if she wasn't an omega.

"They really liked you. Maybe next year we can invite them here, and show my nan some of your cooking?"

She sat up straighter, pulling herself away from him, and gave him a shy smile. Making plans like this reminded her of Bruno and their first Christmas together.

"I have a gift for you," Gabriel told her. His tone was casual, but she could tell he was extremely excited.

"You already gave me a gift." She chuckled. He had given her a beautiful gold necklace with a little rabbit dangling from the chain.

"This is different. The other was just something I thought was cute." He got up and headed to his office. "Stay there."

She sat up on the couch and waited patiently.

Gabriel came out of his office, holding a big brown fur pillow in his arms. She looked at Gabriel with curiosity as he placed the pile of fur on her lap.

A big pair of dark eyes looked up at her, and the pillow gave a little whine.

Her mouth opened in surprise.

"A puppy?"

Gabriel just gave her a huge smile in reply, and sat next to her.

She tried to hold them back, but tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. The puppy got up, trying to climb over her to reach her face, licking her chin. It was the cutest thing she had ever seen.

"I always wanted a dog…" she sobbed.

"I know." Gabriel's reply was full of satisfaction.

Overwhelmed by the gift, she leaned into Gabriel and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you!" She hugged the puppy to her chest. "He's so big. How old is he?"

"He's a nine-week-old Newfoundland. He arrived in Portugal this morning."

She gave Gabriel an inquisitive look. There were plenty of dogs in Portugal. Why had he gotten one from outside the country?

"This little guy came from England, from a beta veterinarian who is trying to adapt the Tube to animals," he told her before she could ask.

"Animal testing?" she asked, worried.

"Not like that." Gabriel petted the pup on the head, but the puppy only had eyes for Alice. "He's trying to use the Tube to make dogs live longer and healthier. This little fella is expected to live longer than a normal dog, and to be smarter too. Jerome put in a good word for me with the vet, and he relinquished one of the pups."

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. "Did you make a beta give you one of their puppies?" she asked him sternly.

Gabriel laughed, and the puppy jumped at him with a cute bark.

"He was happy to have ‘someone special' to bond with one of his dogs," Gabriel replied. "Jerome was the one who talked with him, so I don't know how he explained it. Maybe he told him it was for an omega?"

She doubted that. Omegas were a badly kept secret, but a secret, nonetheless.

Gabriel patted the puppy, and the puppy barked at him, annoyed.

"Aww, he already thinks he's the boss," She joked. "Maybe I'll name him that…"

"Boss?" Gabriel lifted an eyebrow at her. "Just to be clear, I'm still the alpha here."

Alice laughed. It would be the perfect name, indeed.

After an hour of playing with the puppy on the living-room floor, and Alice feeling like a kid on Christmas morning, Boss got worn out. He nestled in her lap and yawned, ready for a nap.

She backed up against the sofa, holding him in her arms. Gabriel slid down from the sofa to cuddle next to her on the floor, and carefully placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

The mood changed. Gabriel's emotions were fluctuating between satisfaction and nervousness. It reminded her of the first time they went to his club.

"There's something I wanted to talk about with you," he told her, eyes fixed on the sleeping puppy.

She made a noncommittal noise, and waited for him to speak.

"Remember when you asked if you were stopping me from doing things I wanted?"

Alice took a deep breath through her nose, remembering that awkward conversation. Was he finally going to be honest with her?

"Yes."

Gabriel placed his hand over hers, on top of Boss's back. "I want to make my intentions very clear about something." His hand moved from hers to her cheek, turning her face to him. "I want you to be my mate."

Alice blinked, not sure what to say. "Aren't we already mates, Gabriel?" She had expected him to tell her about someone he had met, or that he wanted to start dating again. This didn't make any sense.

"We aren't really mates, Alice, and you know that." His fingers stroked her cheek, sending goose bumps down her neck. "You asked me once if I had been with anyone since the hearing, and I was honest. I haven't been with anyone. Because I want you." His hand slipped down to her mouth, and his thumb caressed her lower lip. "I want only you."

"I… But you…" she stuttered and drew Boss up to her chest. The puppy made a little complaint noise before yawning and going back to sleep.

She tried to look away from Gabriel, but he didn't let her. His eyes were fixed on hers and his hand moved to the back of her head, keeping her turned to him.

"Don't run, Alice." He sighed. "You always run when things are about you."

"I don't."

"You do. But I'm not letting you go until you understand." He leaned down closer, his face a breath away from hers. "I want you, and from today onward, I'm going to chase you until you agree to be truly mine."

Her heart beat uncomfortably hard in her chest, against the familiar void of her broken bond, making it difficult to breathe.

"It's you who doesn't understand, Gabriel." Her voice was barely a whisper, the pressure on her chest making it hard to speak. "I don't want to love anyone else. I don't want another bond."

Gabriel gave her a sad smile. "I know that, Alice. You've been trying so hard to distance yourself from everyone."

He kissed the top of her head, letting his hand slide to her chin. Then he lifted her face to him and leaned down toward her lips.

"But I'm not letting you get further away. I'm in love with you and I'm going to bring you to me."

He gave her a gentle kiss on her lips that sent stars down her spine. She could feel his lust filtering through the hold he usually had on his emotions. The alpha in him wanted her, and the omega in her felt the pull as well.

But she didn't want this. He was her friend, he was Bruno's friend… She tried pushing him away with her arm, but he was too strong.

"No," she whispered when he broke the kiss.

"No, what, Alice?" he asked her tenderly.

"I don't want this." She took a deep breath, and looked down at Boss. "I don't want you to chase me. I don't want things to change."

"You can't stop things from changing, any more than you can change people's feelings about you." He tugged her even closer to him.

"And when did you decide you wanted this?"

Now, she felt him tense a little. There was something there he didn't want her to know.

"For a while now."

"When, Gabriel? When we went to the club?"

He stayed silent, but she could feel his stress.

"At work? At the hearing?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you know that I'm in love with you."

Gabriel's control over his emotions slipped further, and she felt a wave of his want. His desire for her. She was used to feeling this from other alphas, but she had thought Gabriel was different.

"You want the omega, not me," she told him earnestly.

He gave a humorless laugh, and rubbed his face. "Fuck, Alice, do you find it so hard to believe I can fall in love with someone?"

She remained silent. He didn't understand that this was not about him, and that if she had been a beta, she might have considered his proposal. When they had shared his bed, she had been so comfortable in his arms that it scared her. Whether she was drawn to the alpha in him, or to Gabriel himself, she didn't know. But Alice knew what a bond with him implied. If anything happened to him, it would be another cut, another stab to her heart that she couldn't heal. The pain of the void left by Bruno's death was a constant reminder of what it meant to be an omega. Always filled with other people's emotions, and a big emptiness that haunted her every step. She wouldn't let another bond form. She refused to let it happen again.

"Alice?" Concern in his voice, Gabriel wiped a tear from her cheek and drew her toward his chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm okay," she lied.

He kissed her cheek gently and rocked her in his arms. "I'm not going to force you to do anything, Alice. If you come to me, it's because you want to."

"I know." Her voice cracked.

Letting her calm down, Gabriel took a deep breath and brushed her hair away from her face.

"Shall we go find a bowl to feed Boss? I bet he's going to wake up hungry."

She took a few moments to steady herself, and offered Gabriel a shy smile. "Did you get some puppy pads?"

"Puppy pads?" He helped her get up without waking Boss. "What the fuck are those?"

It was a beautiful sunny day. There wasn't a hint of a cloud in the sky, and the sun fought the cold February weather.

"How much longer?" Alice asked Gabriel as he shifted gear and overtook another car.

He glanced at her for a second before focusing back on the road. His grin was infectious, and he was so happy, it almost made her giggle.

"Around twenty minutes." He put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze before putting it back on the wheel.

Alice felt her cheeks warm at his touch.

The road curved along the Portuguese coast, the sea to their left filling the car with a wonderful salty scent. The sunlight reflected on the water, making it sparkle like a precious gem, and Alice had her window opened all the way, ignoring the cold and enjoying the ride. She put one hand outside the window and the air rushed through her fingers.

The road made a hard curve to the right, and behind them came a sound of protest. Boss woke from his car nap and half rolled off the back seat. Alice reached from between the front seats to pet him.

"Is he okay?" Gabriel asked, trying to see Boss through the rearview mirror. "Does he have enough pads?"

"He's doing okay so far, hasn't thrown up or anything," she replied. "But maybe go easy on the curves?"

"Throw up?" He clearly hadn't thought of that possibility. "Don't you dare throw up in my car," he ordered the puppy. Boss ignored him and went back to sleep.

They followed the coastline for twenty more minutes before the road turned away from the sea. Huge pine trees greeted them, guarding the road like old giants and surrounding them in cold shade.

They reached a gate, where an older beta woman was standing watch. The woman greeted Gabriel with enthusiasm, and gave Alice a big grin and a wave.

Inside the gate, there was a smaller road that divided itself in different directions. They followed the road all the way to the sea, until they reached a beautiful one-story house, burrowed in the rock and surrounded by tall pine trees. It looked like a traditional Portuguese home, with a yellow facade, green windows framed by white stone, and flower beds all around the front entrance.

"What's this?" Alice examined the scenery with enthusiasm as she let Boss come out of the car.

Gabriel gave her a weird key. It was perfectly straight, no indentations like a normal key.

"This is our new weekend home," he said proudly, gesturing toward the front door.

She put the key in the keyhole, and the door opened immediately without her turning the lock. She looked at the key again. "Fancy."

"And secure." Gabriel grinned at her. "No one can copy that key but me."

"Ahh, yes, we can't forget secure," she mocked.

Stepping inside to explore the new home, Alice was surprised to find it mostly empty. Not even the kitchen was set up.

"I know that you were upset about not choosing our apartment, so I thought I would make it up to you here," Gabriel told her.

"Really? That's—that's amazing!" She hugged him. It was a wonderful gift, and she could feel his satisfaction. She surveyed the empty living room, and peeked into one of the rooms.

"What's the budget?" she asked.

"Budget?" Gabriel replied with a puzzled look on his face.

"Yes. How much can we spend?"

Gabriel's laugh startled poor Boss, who turned to him and barked.

"Alice, I doubt you can break the country's bank by furnishing a house."

"The country is not your personal piggy bank, Gabriel," she chastised.

"I am the country, Alice." He gave her a mischievous grin, one eyebrow raised. "I can run the country into the ground if I want to."

"Gabriel—"

"No, don't you start. I've been doing okay as a First Chair so far, haven't I?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"And you have been working for the country since your conversion, for free."

"I'm still not happy with that, you know."

"So you can spend whatever the fuck you want." He ignored her comment. "You won't bankrupt the country." His tone was final.

She sighed. It was the same conversation she'd had with Bruno when she was first converted and he was made First Chair. It's our money, spend whatever you want.

"All right," she said, defeated. No point in arguing with stubborn alphas.

She explored the house, taking photos with her phone. Gabriel and Boss followed her around, one watching her every move, and the other sniffing every corner. She had to admit, at least to herself, that furnishing the house was going to be fun. And she never had such free rein to do what she wanted before.

One of the rooms at the front of the house had a heavy metal door with no door handle—only a keypad next to it. "What's this for?"

"This is going to be my office, and that is a safe room for state secrets."

She gave him a droll stare. "Really? You're going to bring work here? And state documents?"

"Yes," he admitted without qualms. "I can't stop working for long, and where I go, the country's secrets go."

She laughed at his matter-of-fact tone. "As you wish, alpha."

Gabriel's eyes half closed, and a wave of delight came from him. He liked it when she called him alpha. How had she missed that before?

"There are only two rooms, then. Not counting on guests?" she asked, trying to distract him.

"There is a guest house nearby." He got closer to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "And when you decide to move into my bedroom, we can use the other room for guests."

He said it so casually that she almost missed the innuendo.

"Gabriel, I—"

He didn't let her reply. "Why don't we go check the pool?"

"There's a pool?"

Alice picked up Boss and went to the back of the house. She found that the living-room windows glided all the way to the sides, leaving the room open to the outside. This would be amazing in the summer; she would be able to see the ocean all the way from the kitchen, making it all one big space.

She put Boss down carefully on the stone tiles and dipped her hand in the water. It was freezing. Boss hopped on to the grass on the other side of the pool and marked the area as his own. The grass covered the back of the house, all the way to a cliff. She walked until she was close to the edge, but Boss put himself in front of her and barked until she backed off.

"You are not a normal dog, are you?" She scratched behind his ears. "Who's a good boy?"

As they returned to the house, she spotted a gravel pathway, and followed it until she found a low stone wall and a staircase going down to the beach.

It was a small beach, nestled between two cliffs. Boss started running around like crazy and digging holes in the sand. She picked up a stick brought in by the tide, and taught him to fetch, laughing when the puppy refused to let go of the stick.

She tossed the stick again and looked up at the house. Gabriel was at the top of the stairs, watching them play.

She sighed and turned back to Boss. Alice didn't want to admit it, but Gabriel was doing a great job making her happy. The ache in her chest was still there, but she felt like she could live beyond it now. Maybe she could have a normal life, or as close to a normal life as an omega could have.

However, she also felt dishonest. How could she accept so much from him? How could she make it up to him without giving him her heart?

She had to find a way…