Chapter 21

Amelia

Mom and Aunt Carlina didn't even give me a chance to utter a single word after Mom made her declaration of becoming a grandmother. They both dragged me from my uncle's office. Nos tried to follow us but my mom shoved him backward and told him that he wasn't welcome to be present for the womanly conversation we were about to have. Her and my aunt dragged me outside, then called my other aunt's, who are all sitting around the large outdoor table that we currently occupy. To say this is awkward is an understatement. I feel like a teenager who just told her mom she had sex for the first time and about to get the talk .

Aunt Kiara, Aunt Clare and Aunt Carlina are all sitting there staring at me with the broadest grins on their faces and it's starting to make me squirm. Aunt Anya looks as happy as my mom but my heart hurts when I look at Aunt Koby. I know she is happy for all of us kids but I also know it's hard for her to celebrate new life when she lost her son. Having Ryat and Lailani living here with her and Uncle Knight has been good for her, but it still isn't the same as having Havoc. Chaos and Cass fly out here a lot with their twins to visit and I know seeing her son helps ease some of the ache of losing his twin.

I subtly place my hand on my bump and try to force my thoughts back from that dark path, I haven't even met my daughter yet and the thought of her being taken from me or worse, dying, has me wanting to curl into a ball and cry in the corner. Now that I have this new life growing inside me I can understand why my family sometimes goes off the deep end when one of their loved ones is threatened.

"Stop looking at me like that, Meelz, I'm fine." I nibble my bottom lip, feeling like a prick that my Aunt knows I am thinking about her loss. "You having a baby is something to celebrate. I mean, I think I can speak for all of us here when I say none of us thought you would ever have a kid." I balk at Aunt Koby, who just shrugs her shoulders.

"Why?" I squawk out.

"Uh, are you joking?" Aunt Kiara sounds genuinely confused.

I harden my stare as I face her and nod. "Yes!" I snap.

"Because you were all about your career and never wanting to bring anyone into this family and now we find out you're pregnant and with Cronos." Aunt Kiara's assessment of the situation is black and white but it's wrong, there is gray surrounding my whole life right now.

"Yes, Cronos and I are together but he isn't…" I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. "He isn't the father to my daughter." All six of their faces slacken. I want to laugh but I refrain. I've just blown their minds. In their eyes, I am the perfect one. I never fuck up or make mistakes so hearing this news has clearly thrown them.

"He didn't need to be the one to create the life inside you to be the baby's father. His choice to stand by your side and raise that child as his own has already shown not only yourself, but the rest of the family, that he is worthy of the title Dad ." My mom's words have me swallowing a few times to keep from crying.

"Mom–"

She cuts me off before I can finish. "Amelia Queen Murdoch, you are mine !" The conviction in which she says that word has tears springing to my eyes. "You may not have grown in my womb or thrived inside me but I have loved you from the moment those beautiful green eyes opened and looked at me with love. Creating life doesn't make you a parent, the love and devotion to that child is what grants you the right to call yourself a parent. I am your mother." Tears fall on their own accord down my cheeks. We have never had this conversation before. There has never been a reason to have it. Allison Murdoch is my mother and nothing and no one will ever change that. I spy my dad, uncles and Cronos out of the corner of my eye and the look on my dad's face mirrors my own. He hates hearing that Mom didn't actually give me life as much as I do.

"Ally, no one has doubted your love for Meelz," Aunt Kiara says.

"She is yours in every way that matters," Dad says as he makes his way toward us. Mom keeps her gaze on me as she continues on.

"Loving you has been the greatest joy of my life. Without you, Amelia, I had nothing. You pushed me to want more, to be more, not only for myself but for you as well." Dad comes to stand behind her chair and rests his hands on her shoulders. My uncles fan out and mimic his position behind their wives but Nos chooses to stay back and allow me the time to brave this situation by myself and I love him for knowing that I need to do this on my own. "This child you carry may be his ?—"

"He doesn't want her, Mom. He planned for this to happen so he could use me and her against…" I flick my gaze to my dad who looks hurt. "Dad."

"He's smarter than I gave him credit for," Dad growls.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Meelz, that fucker knows what you mean to me and your mother. Hurting you would make me… upset." I snort at him downplaying his anger, and my uncles and aunts even snicker but he pushes on. "But to get you pregnant, and create a life with my one and only child, he knows that shit will plague me."

"Why?" I breathe out.

Dad doesn't get a chance to answer, Cronos beats him to it. "Because he knows your father would be conflicted and hesitate to kill the father of his grandchild. Your father loves you, angel, but he also knows that your love for that little girl means more than what he wants, and him killing the father of your baby will always be in the back of your mind every time you look at him. Or, when that little girl grows up and asks what happened to her real father ,you would have to tell her that her grandfather killed him."

I tear my gaze from Nos to stare up at my dad and shake my head. He averts his gaze, refusing to look at me. "Dad, I-I…" The words refuse to come out of my mouth, why can't I give him permission to kill Colson?

"That is why, your father won't be the one to do it." Dread pools inside me as I slowly turn back to face the man who now owns my heart and holds it in the palm of his hand. The shadow that clouds his brown eyes has my breath hitching.

"Nos, what did you do?" I whisper brokenly.

He smiles sadly and tries to wall off his emotions, but I can see the pain in his eyes. "Colson turned you against him once, baby. I won't allow him to rob you of more time from your father." I push back from the table and stand ready to go to him but Nos holds his hand up, halting my movements. My heart is pounding inside my chest. My chest begins to burn as the anticipation starts to build inside me. "You asked me once, to choose you or my family." I swallow audibly and hate myself for ever asking him that stupid question. "This is me choosing both."

"Huh?" I breathe out.

"Amelia, you are my redemption from the pits of hell, I will always choose you." My chest expands as I suck in some much needed air. "But that baby you carry inside you is now my family as well, so I am choosing both."

"What are you trying to say?" The anguish in my own voice is easy to hear, I can feel it in my bones that what he says next is going to hurt like hell and break me.

"I'm saying that your father and uncles are too easily recognized. He will know they are coming for him and disappear again when they get close. He doesn't know me or my face." I shake my head, trying to deny what he is going to do but it's too late, he's made his mind up. "I'm going to end this so you and our little girl can be free and never look over your shoulder again."

Fuck this!

I close the space between him and I, then clutch the front of his shirt in my hands. "Don't go," I whisper brokenly.

He cups my face in his large hands and bends at his knees so we are eye level. "Please don't hate me at the end of all of this, angel," he says quietly, then places a long kiss on my lips, unlike all the others we have shared. This one is filled with heartache and pleading, like he is begging me to not hate him and love him through all of this until he returns to us. He pulls back and rests his head against mine. We stand here for a moment just breathing each other in. "I love you, angel."

"I love you too, Grizz," I whisper through my tears.

"This is the last time I will leave either of you, I swear." Before I can say another word he pulls back and nods over my shoulder. Two arms wrap around me and I know it's my dad. Panic surges inside me when I realize what's happening.

"Cronos, no! Don't leave me, please?—"

"I'll always come back for you both, angel, always. Be strong and keep that little girl safe until I get back." When he turns his back, prepared to walk away I break. Every ounce of pain I have kept hidden bursts free as I scream for him to come back. Not once does he look back as I call for him. I collapse in my dad's hold when he vanishes from view, as he heads around the side of the house.

"Cronos!" I scream his name so loud my throat turns horse. Dad's hold on me remains firm and unyielding as I try to break free and chase after him, but then a voice penetrates the fog.

"You need to calm down, none of this is good for the baby." At his words I stop struggling. His hold eases but not enough for me to escape. I slam my eyes closed when I hear the purr of the engine of the rental we arrived in.

He's leaving.

"Why did you send him away?" I ask brokenly as I collapse in my dad's hold. He lowers us to the ground gently. My back rests against his chest and his arms still remain around me.

"I didn't. I planned to be the one to do it, but he refused and told me that if I was the one to go after Colson even if you said it was okay… I would lose you for good. Call me selfish, Meelz, but I feel like I just got my daughter back and I couldn't risk losing you again. I know you hate this life and loathe the part I play in this mafia world but believe me when I tell you, I do all of this for you and your mother."

Before I can stop it the question bursts out of me. "If I asked you to choose, what would your choice be?"

"You. Always you, Amelia," he answers without hesitation.