Chapter 10

Cronos

I've stayed in the back all day avoiding Amelia. I was fucking livid with her earlier and the fact that she would think that I would seriously be fucking another woman with her sitting out front. I know she has issues after the shit she went through but she had no fucking right to project that shit onto me! Tracey kept as much space between us as possible as we embalmed the other two bodies. She couldn't get out of here fast enough and honestly, I couldn't fucking blame her.

I double check the lock on the chemical room before switching the lights off and heading out front to deal with Amelia but when I reach the front she is nowhere to be found.

"Amelia?" I call out thinking she may be in the small kitchen or bathroom. When she doesn't reply I check both places and still can't find her. Worry begins to gnaw inside me. I exit the building and look around the parking lot that is empty except for my truck and the hearse. I lock up and jump in my truck, pushing it to its limits as I head straight home.

She wouldn't have walked home, would she?

A pit begins to form in my gut when I pull up out front of my house and see there are no lights on inside. I rush through the small cabin and check for her, only to find the place empty. My worry starts to turn into panic as I rush back outside and climb into my truck, heading for the diner. Maybe she stopped there and grabbed something to eat? I double park out front, not giving a fuck. I scan the diner and curse beneath my breath when I don't see her.

Did he track her down?

I rush back to my truck and smack my hand against the steering wheel before putting it in drive and driving to the local park. When I don't find her there, I check the pier and still find no sign of her. I wrack my brain trying to think of what could have happened, then it hits me. I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll my contacts until I find his fucking number. It rings five times before he answers.

"Boy?"

"Where the fuck is she, old man?" I snarl, not bothering to hide the anger in my tone.

"Safe and resting." A part of me is relieved to know she is safe and didn't get taken or worse, run back to that cunt who hurt her and knocked her up. But, the other half of me, the part that thirsts for carnage and death, wants to snap the old fuck's neck for daring to interfere in my business.

I white knuckle the steering wheel with my free hand so I don't crush my phone. "She isn't yours to care for!" I roar.

"From what she has said, she isn't yours either!" Before I can scream at him he pushes on. "She's pregnant, Cronos, and the added stress of what you did to her today isn't good for her or the baby. You have my word that she will be looked after and kept safe here with me and Beth."

"She doesn't belong with you!"

"And from what I witnessed today, neither of you two are good together for more than a few seconds. Working and living together while you both are so angry at the other isn't good for anyone, let alone the wee bub she carries."

"I don't give a fuck! She belongs with me?—"

"Then you need to find a way to forgive her, boy. I saw the anger and blame in your eyes today when you looked at her. If she is someone important to you, then you need to show her that." I take a shuddering breath. "I know your past wasn't easy but I also know she hasn't been treated kindly either. I know the signs of abuse, boy. I won't watch another woman suffer, I can't." Shame washes over me, I forgot all about what he and Beth went through.

"She can stay but I'm coming over." I don't wait for a reply, I end the call and swing the truck around to head to Bill and Beth's place. The whole ride there all I can think about is how hard this must be for both of them, having Amelia in their house. They are good people and Bill doesn't deserve the way I treat him, but I can't seem to change that shit. He is the only person here that isn't intimidated by me or scared to look me in the eye. Everyone else gives the Angel of Death a wide berth or crosses the street to get as far from me as they can.

I put the truck in park out front of their place and sigh when I see Bill sitting on the steps out front with two beers in his hands. I scrub a hand down my face before climbing out and making my way toward him. He nods his head to the spot beside him. I choose to ignore his request and snatch a beer from his hand, then lean against the railing.

"You hold so much anger inside you, boy."

I snort before taking a sip of my beer. "Yeah, well, you would be angry all the time too if you lived through what I did."

"We are the authors of our own destinies. You can rewrite your future anytime you want to, but you don't seem to want to change your own outcome."

"How the fuck would you know that, old man?"

He smiles sadly. "Because I've seen it all before. I was angry for a long time, Cronos. I wanted everyone to be just as furious as I was but they all kept on living while I died more and more inside with each passing day."

"Our stories aren't the same."

"Not the same but similar."

"What are you getting at, old man?" I've just about reached my quota for talking today so he better make his point fast.

"I see your anger and pain but I see her anxiety and fear. Together you both are a volatile mix until you each overcome the demons of your past."

I scoff. "This isn't some fucking movie, Bill, this is real life and people like me and her don't get do overs. We have to live with the hand we have been dealt and accept what is."

He shakes his head and looks at me with… pity. "You don't have to live with shit! You just need to find a reason to fight, find something that gives you the strength you need for change and I promise you, boy, it will be the most frightening and exhilarating feeling in this world." Our conversation is cut short when the front door opens and Amelia walks out. She's wearing a pair of Yoga pants and some white fluffy socks but it's the form fitting long sleeved shirt she wears that captures my attention—her growing bump is on display. Bitterness of that bump not being because of my seed seeps into me and I quickly push that feeling away.

"Bill?" He peers over his shoulder at her and smiles kindly as he pushes to his feet and arches his back.

"I'll give you kids some time alone," he says as he walks back inside. Amelia shoots him a thankful smile as he passes. When she approaches me, I can see that her eyes are red and bloodshot. She was crying. She motions for me to join her on the love swing on the corner of the porch. If it wasn't for the fact I could tell she was crying I would have denied her. The chair creaks under my weight, she rolls her lips over her teeth to keep from smiling which earns her a scowl from me.

Silence stretches between us for a while. I sip my beer and slowly swing us. She gets comfortable, tucking her legs under her and pulling the sleeves of her shirt down so they cover her hands. I lean forward and place my beer on the ground, then grip the back of my hoodie and yank it off. I toss it to her without another word as I retrieve my beer and start swinging us again. I spy her out of the corner of my eye pulling the collar of my hoodie to her nose and inhaling, it shouldn't but that sight has my chest swelling with pride.

"You staying here then?" She jerks at the sound of my voice. I feel her gaze boring into the side of my head but refuse to look at her.

"I think it's probably for the best, don't you?"

I fight not to scoff. "Since when does my opinion matter to you?"

"I guess it shouldn't but contrary to what you think, Cronos, I don't want to cause problems for you."

"If that were true, then you wouldn't have judged me for a past I had no control over."

"Like how you're judging me now?"

I turn my head to the side and look at her. "What do I have to judge you for? You made it clear the day you kicked my ass to the curb, I either choose you or my brothers. The worst part was you didn't give me a chance to answer the question before you went off ranting about how I was no better than your family, a ‘thug for hire' were your words, I believe."

"You knew how I felt about the lifestyle my family leads?—"

"So you just thought you would chuck me in the same basket you put them in?"

"No—"

"You gave me a choice to go back to my brothers or run away from this life with you , want to know what my answer was?" Her bottom lip begins to tremble and I see her eyes turn glassy with unshed tears. "If you had given me a chance to answer before you self-sabotaged what we shared, I would have told you that this lifestyle has taken everything from me and I owe it nothing." Her mouth parts on a gasp as I stand and face her. "For me there was no choice, Amelia. I saw my redemption from the darkness in you. You were never a second choice for me, you were always my first thought in the morning and the last before I slept." I reach into my pocket and retrieve the roll of cash and phone I got for her. I toss them next to her but she doesn't take her tear filled gaze off me. "I. Would. Have. Chosen. You."

I turn my back to her, ready to leave but her words have me pausing. "I saw the world through your eyes and I got scared that you would never see me as more than a fleeting moment. My entire family always chooses this life over me and I couldn't handle you doing the same."

I keep my back to her unable to look at her or I'd risk my anger getting the better of me again. "Look how well that shit turned out for you, Meelz. Maybe if you had chosen me and the family you claim to hate so much, you wouldn't be on the run from the bastard that knocked you up and ruined your life." I attempt to leave but she grabs my arm and spins me around to face her. I keep my gaze focused above her head.

"I did fuck up. I am woman enough to admit that. I'm so sorry I hurt you, Cronos. If I could go back and change what happened, I would." I lazily drop my gaze to hers and make sure to keep my emotions closed off.

"You're a liar. If given the choice to go back you wouldn't, you may hate him but you already love the kid growing inside you." Her face falls. Despite my anger, I reach out and cup her cheek in my hand. "Take it from someone who wasn't wanted by either of his parents, you loving your kid is nothing to be ashamed of. That baby has no idea how lucky it is to be loved already by you." I lean forward and place a kiss against her forehead, my lips stay pressed against her longer than they should. Pulling away from her is harder than it should be but walking away from her again… that shit stings worse than taking a bullet to the chest.