Chapter 8

Emjay

"Walls around one's heart aren't only to protect from further heartache. Sometimes they're built to house the pain of trauma." ~ Emjay

I remember the day I left my daughters vividly. The sun had barely risen, casting a pale light over the barren landscape. I held them closely one last time, whispering promises of safety and love before slipping away into the darkness. Each step away from them felt like a knife in my heart, but it was the only way to protect them.

I don't have a wall around my heart because I'm afraid of love. I've never experienced love or a broken heart from loving the wrong person. I built a protective casing to hold myself together. I wanted nothing more than to give up after I left my daughters, but I still feared Basil finding them. Ending my life of suffering couldn't happen while he remained out there.

My girls are safe. Basil is dead at the hands of Damian. Poppa still roams the Earth. If he tries to find us again, our mates will rip him to shreds.

Finding Damian removed the incessant desire to seek peace in the afterlife, but I can't submit to Helios' blessing upon us. Not while other heifers remain imprisoned in the labyrinth that I escaped.

My future holds a happily ever after that I never dreamed possible, but I must keep my walls up or I'll lose focus.

I've only ever known sacrifice. Momma sacrificed my mating call, keeping me a prisoner. Hallie sacrificed her life so that I might escape and give my daughters a chance at freedom. I sacrificed raising my daughters, holding them in my arms, and giving them all my love for fear that Basil would find us more easily if we remained together. Now, I'm temporarily sacrificing Damian. I've given him no choice in the matter, and he assures me he understands. His understanding makes keeping him at a distance harder than the annoying tick-tock playing on repeat in my head.

The night I found him, we walked and talked. Like long-lost friends more than destined mates.

My face remained stone when he confessed loving two other heifers. I felt no remorse that they broke his heart. Only anger that our severed bond gave him the opportunity to love someone else—twice.

Not anger toward him. How I wish I could have been the one to flick the whip against Momma that killed her. If only one strike. In my dreams, it's my fist beating her to death. What will Damian think of me when he learns the depth of my hatred and bitterness?

"Look at you." I told him.

"Do you have a mirror?" he teased with a giant grin.

"That's not what I mean?" He even acted the age he looked.

He rubbed his face. He did that several times this night. "What do you mean?"

I huffed. "You look twenty-five, and I—I look over sixty." I'm only fifty-eight, but my past has aged me. He looked me up and down. I continued spewing my insecurities before he could object. "I have wrinkles all over my skin. My breasts, though they've never fed a child, sag toward my stomach. For Helios' sake, I've gone through menopause. I'm an old woman, and you're—well—look at you."

He hadn't touched me since we left the bar. And the touches before were of comfort, nothing more. He moved closer. The serious glint in his amber orbs formed a lump in my throat. Damian pushed the hair I keep over my face behind my ear before he cupped my cheeks in the palm of his hands.

"While your aged looks aren't permanent, it doesn't change my attraction to you—my mate. The one created for me. Look down and see."

Part of me wanted to refuse his demand, except the girl who couldn't wait for him to find me all those years ago glanced at the bulge in his pants.

"I don't need smooth skin. Breasts are magnificent no matter what direction they point. What does menopause have to do with how I behold you?"

I wrapped my hand around the hand still holding my face. "It means my ability to bear children is gone."

He tossed his head back and laughed. Offended, I shoved him backward.

I took off away from him. He chased after me. In a stealth move, his hand grabbed my wrist and twirled me around into his chest. My nose is planted directly in his breastbone. Unable to resist the need to soak up his woodsy scent, my inner heifer basked in the aroma of our mate. If she had control, I know she'd have nuzzled our head against him.

"Emjay, we both know that when you're ready and we consummate our mating, you'll return to your demigod state."

I forced myself to look up at him. "You can't know that for certain. We know what happens when we forsake the bull for a human, but how many heifers grow old and return to a bull?"

His face became serious at the mention of human men.

"Have you loved another?" his voice cracked.

"I've never given my heart to anyone. Please, leave it at that."

"For now. But one day, you will have to let me in all the way. Spending our lives guessing about your past won't do us any good. It could cause a rift, more so than the truth. Whatever it may be."

"Jayce, park there," I instruct him abruptly.

While there is room for one vehicle outside the path to the labyrinth, I don't know how long we will remain in the portal. I don't want to risk the authorities towing the van.

I don't recollect his name, but one of Anjal's nephews rubs his chest. I remember that feeling. Even though I only experienced it for a few hours, the memory never faded. While I hear my mate's call constantly, my chest doesn't burn with Damian nearby.

I commend the young bull for his patience. He could have easily taken off without us to claim her.

I fear there are other bulls in the labyrinth, keeping the heifers from leaving. At least one. How else would they keep the women from running away while the men went to the ceremony?

When I left there were only twelve, but more than those twelve showed up for the mating ceremony. How many strong are they?

Including myself and Damian, there's eleven of us on this journey. The witch and her husband. I'm thankful to have her with us, but I'm terrified for her. I've seen what my people do to her kind.

My daughters and their mates came at my request. My heart anticipates the start of healing will take place on this journey.

Anjal's nephews volunteered. I've heard the talk that they are always around when their uncle needs help. One clearly has his own motive for coming that he hasn't announced to any of us. That I know of.

The last member of our group—Tara. She showed up unexpectedly before Damian's arrival this morning. I overheard her telling Priscilla and Shay that she needed to get away from Nikolaos for a bit. I know the two are mates because I witnessed Helios mark them at the ceremony. My nose tells me I'm not the only one who hasn't consummated the mate bond. It's none of my business, and I have bigger issues on my mind.

I lead the way. Damian remains by my side. And the young bull heading to find his mate is on my heels.

The side of the winding road through the mountains leads us to an overgrown, abandoned path. Everyone follows me where we encounter a rusted cattle gate across the road. A faded "No Trespassing" sign is nailed to the rod.

Unfazed by the sign, we straddle the bar one at a time and cross into the dense forest. "No Smoking," and "Bear Warning" signs lead the way.

A river gently flows on the right, and to the left, the majestic Yonah Mountains loom over us like a covering of protection.

In the distance, the roar of a waterfall echoes through the air.

The start of our journey was clear and easy to navigate. As if many wanderers still walk along the manmade path.

About half a mile into our journey, the path transforms into a field of tangled thorns, blackberries, vines, poison ivy, and weeds. This same field tore the bottom of my skirt as I made my way to safety all those years ago.

A few of the girls wince as the undergrowth snags their skin and clothes. With my focus forward, I'm not sure who made the noise.

Our group journeys silently. Maybe taking in the beauty around us or pondering what we may find when we arrive.

A stream awaits beyond the field. Damian offers me his shoulder while I remove my socks and shoes. I wade through the water across the smooth rocks.

On the other side, I sit to put my footwear back on while the rest join me.

Another path littered with fallen trees emerges before us as we walk uphill. We're forced to clamber over and duck under the obstacles.

We press on through the debris for at least another two miles, guided by the ever-present sound of the waterfall, which acts as a beacon, driving us forward.

Damian held his arm straight out across my chest in response to the male voices around the curve. I stop my in my tracks.

The unhealthy fear I have lived with for all my life takes no offense to his chivalrous actions.

Priscilla and Shay seem bothered when shoved behind their mates.

There's no doubt the men we hear are Minotaurs. They would have already caught our scents. Our bulls shift enough to communicate their plan. A plan we aren't privy to.