Chapter 9

I could seethat every word I was saying about not making fun of Silver about the Velcro was only making him more and more agitated. It wasn't until Silver began disentangling himself from the blanket as he yelled at me that it wasn't about the Velcro that I realized he was going to get up and walk away from me.

Pain exploded in my chest, but it had nothing to do with my scars. Not the outer ones, anyway. I immediately began to put up the wall in my head that would protect me from yet another person leaving me in their wake, but all of that was forgotten when Silver practically launched himself at me. His palms covered my cheeks and before I could even make sense of what was happening, his mouth was on mine. He whimpered as he mashed his lips against mine over and over. It took my addled brain a few precious seconds to catch up to what was happening, but when my wits did kick in, I took over the kiss. I attempted to slow it down so Silver could end the contact if he wanted to, but all he did was press his palms harder against my cheeks as he clumsily slanted his mouth over mine.

I moved my hands up to grab his cheeks and gently broke the kiss. A broken cry left his throat, and I swore I heard him whisper, "No."

As soon as our eyes met, his went wide. I could see he was on the verge of freaking out completely, so I pulled his head down and sealed my mouth over his. His lips were parted enough that I was able to slip my tongue between them. Silver stiffened and then completely froze. I'd kissed him like this the day before, but I hadn't done more than dip my tongue into his lush mouth for the briefest of moments.

That wasn't the case today.

There were no onlookers to stop me from taking what I wanted; from giving Silver what he wanted.

It took only a few seconds for Silver to react with a needy moan that went straight to my dick. He opened his mouth wider and the second our tongues met, his desperation returned. It didn't take him long to figure out that my mouth was fair game. When his luscious tongue sought entry, I happily let him take the lead. There was no denying he lacked experience when it came to kissing but he was a quick study and once he got the hang of it, there was no slowing him down.

I dropped my hands so my fingers could explore the little bit of soft skin that was exposed.

His jaw.

His throat.

The spot where his neck met his shoulder.

I knew I needed to slow things down because I wanted Silver to have time to consider what we were doing. At the same time, a selfish part of me didn't want him to have even a few seconds to think about it because he might realize what was happening was a huge mistake.

There was no stopping him, though, and the moment he rubbed his body against my hip, I understood why. His dick was hard as a rock. Between the frustrated cries that escaped his throat every time he had to break our kisses to catch his breath and the way his body kept awkwardly grinding against mine, it finally hit me.

Hard.

"Come here," I practically growled before I shifted my body in the chair so I was fully facing him. I pulled him forward, giving him no choice but to straddle my lap. I threaded my fingers through Silver's hair as I took over the kiss. It couldn't really be called that, though. I was consuming him. I explored his mouth just like I wanted to explore every inch of his body.

I could have easily pulled his shirt off, but I knew Silver was too far gone for that.

He needed.

His body needed.

It just didn't know how to take what it needed.

Yet.

I eased one of my hands free so I could press it against Silver's ass. He was small but tight, yet I knew if I ever got my dick inside of him, we'd fit each other perfectly. I forced myself to focus on what my original goal was and pulled his body forward so his dick was flush with my abdomen.

After I'd left Silver in the kitchen so I could get cleaned up and try to wrap my head around what I'd done to him after he'd woken me up from my nightmare, I'd taken a quick shower and changed into jeans.

It was a decision I was regretting because my cock felt like a spike in my pants.

A very hard, very hot, very confined spike that had a handful of gorgeous man riding it.

Our positions meant Silver was slightly taller than me, but that didn't stop him from grabbing my hair and returning every kiss with needy desire. I could tell he was frustrated too, though. Achingly so. My instincts were telling me this was a new first for him.

Experiencing pleasure instead of pain.

He just had no idea how to get there.

So I showed him.

I dropped my other hand so I was gripping Silver's ass with both hands. I urged him forward and up so that his dick slid along my body. Silver broke the kiss and dropped his head back. I greedily licked and kissed my way down his throat as I showed him how to ride me.

It took only seconds for him to understand what was happening. After that, I didn't have to urge his ass to do anything. Silver began grinding his hips against mine. I could feel the dampness of his pre-cum through both his shirt and mine.

He let out a relieved moan as he bore down on my thighs so he could get more leverage as he slid his dick against my abdomen. Since he no longer needed my hands to guide him, I slid one between our bodies and freed his erection from his sweats. It wasn't until I lifted my own shirt and moved the front neckline over my head so it would stay up that Silver finally stopped. He dropped his head so he could see his wet dick pressed against my abdomen. His skin was hot and hard against mine and I would have given anything to be able to free my own cock from its prison so our most sensitive flesh could be in contact.

But even if Silver would have been willing to allow our bare dicks to slide against one another as he rode me, he couldn't. There was no time. His need was too great, and I could tell by the way he began to grind against my abdomen as his pre-cum slickened my body hair and skin that he was close. At some point, he'd wrapped his arms around my neck. I could feel his heavy breaths against my throat as he began to furiously fuck my abdomen. I couldn't help but put one hand on his ass again to help keep his body tight against mine as he pumped his hips up and down. The friction against my groin as he rolled his hips back and forth was killing me, and I knew that my dick didn't give a shit about the denim trapping it.

When Silver began letting out little cries and whimpers as he desperately worked to get himself off, I cradled the back of his head because I liked hearing those sounds and feeling his harsh breaths against my neck.

He began grunting every time his lower body rocked forward as he fucked my abdomen. By then, his body had taken any control he'd been trying to hold on to, so I knew the end was near. I was doing everything I could to stave off my own release because I needed to see, hear, and feel everything Silver did when the pleasure took him.

Silver was close but as he began to frantically rub against me, his frustration grew.

"Help me," he cried desperately. He was so close, but he didn't know how to let go so he could take that plunge that would only bring him bliss. "I don't know what— please, Dalton!"

"Come for me, sweetheart," I whispered into his ear while I pressed a finger against his asshole and rubbed hard. The material of his sweats prevented me from touching him the way I really wanted to, but it was enough to have Silver rutting uncontrollably against me and then he was crying out as his body took him over the edge. Hot cum spewed all over my chest and abdomen as Silver continued to pump his hips against mine while he rode his release to the end. His semen coated his dick and seeped through the thick denim of my jeans as he his body jerked with each shockwave of pleasure.

It was only when those spasms eased that I wrapped an arm around his back and held him tight against me so I could get control of my raging body. I tried to think of anything that would calm my dick down because there was no way in hell I was going to take advantage of Silver while he was in such a vulnerable place not only mentally, but physically as well.

Even as Silver continued to cling to me as his body quaked against mine, I felt his lips brush the sensitive spot behind my ear. "Let go, Dalton. I need to know what it's supposed to feel like."

With those words of encouragement, my mind went blank and released all my senses so I could feel just like Silver wanted to feel, what I wanted to feel.

I couldn't think. I couldn't stop my body from taking over. I could only feel.

I rubbed my cock, which had gotten a taste of Silver's juices when they'd seeped through the denim of my jeans, against the underside of his ass, not caring that the position was awkward or that Silver was still wearing his sweats. All I wanted, all I needed, was to come. When that coil inside of me finally snapped, I clung to Silver.

My orgasm was blinding in its intensity.

Silver's shoulder took the brunt of my moans, muffling them as all my nerve endings were flooded with sheer pleasure. Jets of cum slid down my dick and balls, completely soaking through the fabric of my already damp jeans in the process.

As my body quaked with aftershocks, I tried to catch my breath.

Silver had gone still against me, his body limp like a noodle except for the occasional spasm as his body also came down from the natural high. I reached up to lift his chin so I could kiss him but as soon as my eyes met his, I knew having my mouth on his was the last thing he wanted. The unbridled lust was gone, the glaze of sated relief nonexistent. His pretty eyes were only filled with confusion and shame.

"Silver—"

"Don't," he said softly with a shake of his head. His eyes dropped to where his spent dick still lay against my skin. Streaks of white cum covered us both.

I had only seconds to take in the gorgeous sight before Silver untangled our bodies and climbed off me. He turned away, pulling up his sweats in the process. After reaching down to grab the blanket off the floor, he walked out of the kitchen. I heard the snick of his bedroom door a moment later.

The physical pain from my body's exertion hit me all at once, but it had nothing on the pain in my chest I felt as I kept replaying the only thing he'd said before disappearing.

Don't.

My back screamed in pain and my stiff muscles protested when I forced myself to stand. I all but stumbled to my own room, barely managing to close the door behind me before I staggered to my bed and sat down. I couldn't help but look at the spot on the floor where I'd attacked Silver.

It had to have been a dream.

All of it.

Except the cooling cum on my abdomen and dick were cruel proof that it hadn't been. I carefully removed my shirt and used it to clean up the evidence of what Silver and I had just done.

In my kitchen.

On a fucking vinyl chair that was probably as old as me and had come with the house, much like most of the other furniture.

I knew I should take another shower but even if I physically could have made it to the bathroom, I didn't want to chance running into the young man who'd unknowingly just changed the game on me. I managed to fumble through the process of getting my pants and briefs off, but not without jarring my half-hard dick that was still painfully sensitive.

"Fuck," I whispered before reaching for the bottle of pills and the nearly empty bottle of whiskey.

It'll be over soon.

I wanted to tell my inner voice that it wouldn't be soon enough as I downed a handful of pills and finished the alcohol. I eased my body down on the bed so that I was lying on my stomach. It felt like little spikes were digging into my flesh from my neck down to the top of my ass. My muscles began to lock up one by one and it wasn't long before I knew I wouldn't be able to move even if I wanted to. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on slowing my breathing, but I couldn't manage it. The only thing I saw behind my closed eyelids was the image of what Silver and I must have looked like on that spindly chair, our bodies wound together as if we'd been one.

But we weren't one.

We were nothing.

I needed to remember that.

As the pills began to kick in and relief eased the pain in my muscles and back, I pulled in a deep breath.

"Nothing," I quietly reminded myself in the moments before sleep finally made it true and I fell into the abyss of darkness that promised me peace for as long as the drugs did their job. My last thought was that when I opened my eyes the next time, I'd be back where I belonged.

Alone.