26. Twenty-Six

Twenty-Six

Anna

Late afternoon shadows dance through the leaves. It's been a wonderful day filled with family, laughter, and an endless stream of introductions. Connor has certainly enjoyed himself.

I settle into a chair across the table from Val and Kat, feeling pleasantly tired. "Where's Gabby?"

"I put her down for a nap," Val confesses with a fond smile.

I sigh as I lean back in my chair. "Girls, I am officially beat," I say with a sheepish smile. "And there is absolutely no way I will ever remember everyone's names."

They both give a tinkling laugh. Kat rolls her eyes, and Val just shakes her head. Leaning forward, Val confesses, "We don't remember half their names either. But there are so many Knights it could take years." Val glances over her shoulder at her mother-in-law, "I don't know how Bonnie remembers them all."

Kat looks over at me, a flicker of satisfaction in her gaze. "Carson seemed happy to introduce you to everyone," she says.

I nod as I agree, "I noticed that myself." A small smile spreads across my face.

Kat gently probes, "So, everything is going well between you two?"

I shrug, feeling a slight pang of unease flutter in my chest. "I guess as well as it can."

Val pulls herself up off the chair. "Anybody want anything? I swear this is my last trip to the dessert table." Her dimples flash.

Kat answers, her eyes twinkling, "I'll take anything with chocolate. I'm not picky."

Val laughs and then looks at me. I cave and say, "If there's any more of that Cherry Delight I brought, please bring some for me." As she goes to turn away, "Or anything with cream cheese!"

Val's steps falter for just a moment, a funny look on her face. She then makes her way to the dessert table. Kat and I continue to talk about the different family members we've met.

Val's back with cheesecake for herself and a chocolate brownie for Kat. She turns to me, a large helping of Cherry Delight on the paper plate. "That's the last of your dessert," she says with a smile.

She sits down across from me, and we all dig in. As I greedily lick the last bit of dessert off my spoon, I sigh. "I could have eaten the entire dish." Val and Kat look equally satisfied as they clean their plates.

I feel Val's eyes on me as I wipe my lips with a napkin, a speculative look in their depths. She glances around to make sure no one's listening. "Anna, you know when we were discussing our pregnancy cravings…" Her eyes go from my now empty plate to me. "You said you had an insatiable craving for cream cheese…" She lets the words trail off, but her eyes study me keenly, searching for a reaction.

I feel my face lose all color, the blood rushing from my head. I'm suddenly at a loss for words. I lick my lips and then look down at my plate. Tell-tale color then floods my pale face. I look up, "I forgot I told you that," my voice barely above a whisper.

Two sets of wide eyes stare back at me, then flicker to each other in silent communication. Kat is the first to reach out, her hand warm and reassuring on mine. "We won't say anything. Will we, Val?"

Val nodded solemnly. "Not a word."

I take a deep, shaky breath, forcing myself to calm down. I lean forward, I confess in a hushed tone. "I haven't confirmed it. I haven't even taken a home test. But the signs all indicate…" My words stop as I give a brittle laugh, "I can't get enough cream cheese, and I'm so emotional. I've always been irregular, but—" My gaze darts between them, seeking solace. "I have a doctor's appointment next week."

Val leans forward, her concern evident. "Has Carson noticed?"

I shake my head, "No, like I said, I'm very irregular, and I haven't had morning sickness."

"That's a blessing, at least," Val says with a sympathetic glance.

Kat asks quietly, "Are you happy about this? I ask because, well, you seem a little… sad."

I give a wavering smile, "I'm happy, truly. It's just that I don't know how Carson will feel. I don't know if he wants a future… with me." I glance over at them with a sorrowful smile, "I've hurt him in the past…" I glance away, my eyes unfocused.

When I look back at them, I murmur, "I don't want to go over past mistakes. But I don't know if Carson could ever love me…" Again, my voice trails off. I give a rueful smile as I shrug. I briefly close my eyes, and when I open them, they are filled with determination. "And I would never force Carson into something he doesn't want." There's a finality to my words.

Kat states with a dry smile, "Well, it's not like you got into this condition by yourself. He can't blame you. He's equally responsible." Val nods her head in agreement.

A sudden wave of gratitude washes over me. "Girls, thank you. I mean it. It feels good to have you two as friends." They both lean in to give me a huge hug, their embrace a silent promise of support.

With a deliberate switch in topic, we chat about lighthearted things as the sun dips further down the horizon. Its rays cast long shadows when we scrape back our chairs and stand. The smoky scent of the grill lingers in the air, a reminder of the day's festivities.

Bonnie approaches us, her voice warm. "We have a cleaning crew coming. They should be here in fifteen minutes. We only need to handle any leftover food. They, thankfully, will take care of the rest."

We follow her over to the guys as they transfer any remaining barbecue into large aluminum foil trays. There's enough meat that Bonnie insists we each take home a tray.

Goodbyes are exchanged. Val and Kat give me meaningful looks as they hug me goodbye. We all pile into the car and head home. Connor is quiet in the back seat. Carson glances in the rearview mirror and then grins over at me. "He's practically asleep." I nod. "I could drift off myself," I admit sheepishly.

Carson's warm, answering smile is a sign of satisfaction. "He's now part of the Knight clan," he murmurs. My smile falters at his words, but his eyes are on the road, so he doesn't notice.

That night, Carson makes slow, sweet love to me. Afterward, we fall asleep in each other's arms.

Doctor's offices everywhere have the same medicinal smell and vibe. This one is no different. I chose to go to a general practitioner, but I know deep down what the blood test will reveal. This morning, my breasts were tender, and I felt slightly nauseous until I ate another bagel smothered in cream cheese. You'd think that would upset my stomach, but instead, it settles it down. It was the same when I carried Connor.

I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans, the thin denim offering little comfort. Right then, they call my name. "Anna Johnson?" I stand and follow the nurse to the back.

Now, I'm sitting on the examination table. "You're here as a new patient. You came in for a regular check-up?" she confirms as her eyes scan the form in front of her. I nod, then say, "Yes," as her eyes haven't left the screen. Her eyes finally cut to me with a friendly gaze. " Is there anything else we should know?"

I lick my lips, the action automatic, before forcing out the words, "There's a possibility I could be pregnant."

At my admission, the nurse simply nods. "This states you're currently taking birth control pills; is that correct?"

"Yes," I admit, clearing my throat. "I called my nurse practitioner, and she called in a prescription here locally." I quickly stammer the next part in a rush, "I called her the day after we…" My voice trails off, a faint blush on my cheeks.

The nurse gives a curt nod. "I'll make a note of that." She busies herself with the computer once more, tapping away at the keyboard. "Alright, let's get your blood drawn. The doctor will be with you shortly."

She leaves me sitting in the cold room wearing a paper gown. The first nurse already took my blood pressure. When she said it seemed a little high, I explained I was nervous because of the visit. She just gave me an impersonal nod as she jotted something down.

I sigh and then hop down when I spot a magazine lying on the counter. I carry it back as I climb onto the examination table and then skim the pages and pictures. My mind is too filled with conflicting emotions to want to read an entire article.

Finally, I hear a light knock, and then the door opens. It's an older male doctor with graying hair and faded blue eyes, but his smile is warm. "Hello, I'm Dr. Simon," he says as he holds out his hand. His palm feels warm against my colder one.

He approaches with an old-fashioned clipboard. He sets it down and then listens to my heart as I take a deep breath as instructed. "Your blood pressure seemed a little high when we compared it to your records. but the nurse said you were nervous?" He asks that as a question. So, I answer him. "Yes, a little." He looks down at the clipboard again. "You're single with a ten-year-old child?" I nod quietly, fidgeting in the paper gown, the coarse material prickling my skin as I wait for his next words.

"Well, you're still young and healthy. The blood test did confirm you're pregnant." He stops as I absorb his words. They leave me feeling numb. But really, I already knew I was pregnant, so I shouldn't feel so stunned.

"Did you have any difficulties with your first pregnancy?" He inquires.

"No," There's a dullness to my answer. He looks up sharply, "Were you hoping for other news?"

With a soft smile, I assure him, "No, doctor. Not at all." I place my hand protectively over my abdomen. I already cherish this child." His eyes shine at my words, and he gives an approving smile. "In that case, I'll recommend an OB-GYN, but since your iron is a little low, I'll go ahead and prescribe some prenatal vitamins."

After he leaves, I methodically remove the paper gown and put on my clothes. I quietly leave the room and follow the exit signs to the front.

The woman at the counter says, "Congratulations, Mrs. Johnson. Here's a written prescription. You can have this filled anywhere." She then goes over the papers and pamphlets she has for me. She puts everything in a bag and hands it to me. I pay, and when I turn to leave, she states in a cheery voice, "Have a great day." I paste on a smile. "Same to you, thanks."

Once I'm in the car, the engine off, I grip the bag tightly. I sit there for a good ten minutes, and each second seems like an hour. Finally, I power on the engine and drive back to the apartment.

A knot forms in my stomach as I wonder what I should do with the pamphlets the doctor gave me. Connor constantly forages through the car's glove compartment, so leaving them in the car is out of the question. I can't take them into the house. I don't want them found, and I don't want to throw them away. I remember Carson gave me a key to the storage room.

I pick up the bag, walk through the garage parking lot, and unlock the storage room door. I hesitate about which box to put them in. Then I see the bright yellow box filled with Graham's stuff. It's perfect. I lift the lid and put the bag of pamphlets inside, keeping only the papers I need. I fold those and place them inside my purse.

I take the elevator up to the apartment. I'm not yet ready to discuss this with Carson. I decide to bide my time and tell him once the moment is right. My lips twist in a cynical smile as I wonder if there will ever be a right time to tell him.

That night, we gather in the living room with popcorn bowls in front of us. The movie is good, but the emotional scenes tug at my heartstrings, and my eyes fill with tears. I try to discreetly grab a tissue from the box sitting on the end table.

Carson catches my movements and grins, his eyes soft. He leans over and gently wipes the tears from my eyes. Then kisses me on my nose, and my eyes fill with tears again. "Hey, are you okay?" He asks in a low voice.

"Yes," I hiccup. "It's just… the movie," I explain, my voice thick with emotion.

He grins. "I know, women cry at movies." He puts his arm around my shoulders and leans me into him. His hand rubbing up and down my arm in a soothing gesture. I swing my legs up on the couch as I lean into his warmth. The weight of the secret I carry becomes a heavy burden in the pit of my stomach.

My eyes flutter shut sometimes during the movie. They blink open when I hear hushed voices, "Mom fell asleep," Connor says in a loud whisper. I immediately hear Carson, "Shh… don't wake her. She seemed tired." Then, "Okay," in another loud whisper from Connor.

My lips twitch, and then I slowly sit up, "I'm awake, guys."

Connor grins, "Mom, you fell asleep halfway through the movie."

I smile, "I guess I was more tired than I realized."

Carson frowns and gives me a look filled with concern. "You aren't coming down with something, are you?"

I automatically start to shake my head no and then hesitate. "You know, I had a headache earlier. That's probably why I've been feeling a little drained."

I see Carson's frown clear. He reaches down and pulls me up beside him.

"Why don't you go to bed early? Maybe that will help," the concern in his voice, doing a number on my already overwhelmed emotions.

I draw in a shaky breath. "Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow." I inwardly wince at my words.

In the bedroom, I get ready for bed. The comfort of the thin cotton feels reassuring against my skin. I crawl between the cool sheets and fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.