Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Jasmine

Liam sweeps me up into his arms and carries me to the bedroom, shouldering open the door, and walking us over to the bed. He sets me down on my bare feet, then whips his T-shirt off and tosses it aside.

As I gaze at his bare chest—all those lean, chiseled muscles—my breath catches. His body is a work of art, and I feel sadly inadequate in comparison.

He tips my chin up and looks me directly in the eyes. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any woman in my life.” Then he pauses to let his words sink in. There are no buts, no qualifiers.

But it’s still so hard for me to believe him. “Liam—”

“If you change your mind, at any time, for any reason, just say so. This is all about you having a choice in what happens to you and to your body. Is that clear?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I’m overwhelmed. My emotions are shattered.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently. “You look like you’re about to panic.”

As I gaze down at my scarred body, my past flashes before my eyes—all those nameless faces and bodies. The things I’ve done. The things that were done to me. My vision blurs. “I don’t know why you’d want me. You don’t have to settle for someone who’s as damaged as I am.”

“What are you talking about? Who’s settling?”

“You are.”

He lays his hand over my heart. “This is who you are, Jasmine. What’s in here. Your courage, your—”

I laugh shakily. “I don’t feel courageous. I’m terrified.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Of letting you down. Of disappointing you. Of not being good enough. How could I ever be good enough?”

He cups my face, his fingers sliding into my hair. He leans down and gently touches his forehead to mine. “Your fears are unfounded, Jasmine. The truth is, I’m nervous, too. I want this to be perfect for you, and I’m afraid of messing up.” His thumbs gently stroke my cheeks. “I want you, Jasmine. I want to be with you. I want to make you happy. I want to love you, if you’ll let me. I want to protect you. I want it all. I want everything you’ll give me.”

My heart is pounding. Fears and doubts are screaming in my head. Why me? He can’t possibly love me when he could do so much better.

He releases me, takes hold of my hand, and presses it to his chest, right over his heart. “Can you feel that? If you can, then you know my heart is thundering right now.” He takes my other hand as well and holds both of them to his chest. “If you don’t want this—if you’re not ready or not sure—”

“No!” When I blurt the word out, he smiles. “I do want this,” I say. “I want you. I just don’t know how. I’ve never done this simply because I wanted to. Only because I had to.”

His smile falls. “I swear to you, you’ll never again have to do anything you don’t want to do, not for the rest of your life.”

His beautiful eyes, with their deep brown irises and flecks of green and gold, are locked onto mine. I’ve never been so thrilled, so excited, and yet so utterly terrified in my life.

He smiles. “I’m honored that you chose me.”

I raise my hands and cup his handsome face, smiling as I feel his soft beard brush my palms. I feel heady with desire. I go up on my tippy toes and gently press my lips to his. I’m surprised once more by how soft they are. I expected them to be hard, like the rest of him, but they’re not.

Liam sucks in a breath, but otherwise he’s as still as a statue, as if he’s afraid to make a wrong move.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I say, laughing shakily.

He smiles against my lips. “There is no wrong way. You touching me in any way is always going to be a good thing.”

I try again, this time moving my lips against his. He copies my actions, and I realize he’s intentionally matching my pace. Feeling emboldened, I touch the tip of my tongue to his upper lip, and he groans harshly. The sound jolts me. I’ve heard many male groans and moans, but I’ve never heard him make that sound before.

I feel panic start to overtake me. Is he just one more male in a long line of them? Is this going to be any different than the others? Can it be different? Please, god, say it can. If it’s no different than the other times, I can’t bear it.

“Jasmine?”

I glance up at him. “Hmm?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know what I want.” I honestly don’t know what to do. My first instinct is to give him head—that’s how it usually starts. Men always want head. So I drop to my knees on the rug beside the bed.

“Whoa,” he says. He grasps me by my elbows and stands me up. “This isn’t just about me, Jasmine. It’s about us.”

I’m at a loss, so I shake my head. “I don’t know how to do this.”

He closes his eyes and sighs. Then he says, “Okay, let’s try something else. Why don’t you lie down?”

I get on the bed, and he follows me.

“On your belly,” he suggests as he rolls me over. He lies beside me, on his side, and starts tracing gentle lines on my back. “How about we start with a back rub?”

“Okay.” I’m not sure how that’s going to help, but I’m game to try anything.

Liam begins by tracing patterns on my back. His touch feels so good, shivers skate up and down my spine. He talks quietly, just murmuring to me, his voice so low I can barely make out what he’s saying. “Just relax, Jasmine. Let me make you feel good.”

No one’s ever done that for me before.

Eventually, he sits up and begins massaging my back in earnest. First my scalp, then my neck, my shoulders, arms, and hands. It feels so good I can’t help moaning. He laughs softly and keeps it up, moving to my upper back, then down my spine to my waist. He stops there.

My bones have turned to liquid, and a sweet heat flows through me, settling between my legs. I ache down there. I roll over onto my back and cup Liam’s face. “I want you inside me, Liam. Show me what it’s like. Show me the way it’s supposed to be.”

Liam lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me so perfectly. His lips move against mine, nudging them open, and the tip of his tongue slides against mine. Gradually, his mouth moves to my throat, and he trails kisses down to my shoulder. He moves slowly, taking his time, as he explores my body.

When he reaches my left breast, he kisses my branded flesh with such reverence my heart nearly breaks. He cups my breast, molding it to his palm before he draws my nipple into his mouth and suckles gently. I feel a tug deep inside me, followed by an answering pull down below in the deepest core of my body.

He moves to the other breast, giving it the same treatment. Then he trails kisses down my body. He teases my belly button, making me squirm and laugh. Finally, his lips come to rest at the waistband of my panties. I’m practically frozen in suspense, wondering what he’s going to do next. I’ve never experienced anything like this—not this slow, unhurried touching and tasting. I realize I’m breathing hard now in anticipation.

Liam surprises me when he presses his nose to my panties, right between my legs, where all that throbbing heat has gathered. As he inhales deeply, breathing in my scent, his hands tighten on my hips. He groans, the sound loud and harsh in the quiet room. My pulse is racing as I wait to see what comes next.

His fingers grip the waistband of my panties, and he raises his head to look at me. “I want to make you come. I want to make you feel good. Is that all right?”

My breath is trapped in my lungs, and my heart thunders. Since I’ve lost the ability to speak, all I can do is nod.

He slowly slides my panties down, past my thighs, and pulls them off. Then he opens my legs and settles between them. He’s watching me intently, which is a bit unnerving. My nerves are ragged and my lungs are struggling to keep up.

When he opens me, I flinch. It’s an automatic reaction. Not many tricks have been down there, and the few times it happened, I was nervous. I’d heard horror stories from the other girls about getting bit.

I feel his breath first, warm and soft. Then his tongue gently strokes me. I let out a long exhale.

I can do this. I can. He’s not going to hurt me. This is Liam.

His tongue flicks my clit, and the sensation is so amazing I gasp, and my back bows off the mattress. He’s gentle and teasing, and it feels amazing. Suddenly, his finger is there, circling my opening, slipping farther and farther inside with each pass. My thighs are shaking, my muscles quivering. I find myself fisting the sheet beneath me, desperately trying to maintain my composure.

This is all new to me. It’s not the typical eager groping that I’m used to. This is different… it’s soft and gentle and caring. He’s making sure I feel good. And I realize that’s the difference. When you’re with someone you care about, you want them to feel good. It’s about giving, not taking. It’s a two-way street.

His tongue is fluttering quickly now, teasing and tormenting my clit. His finger is deeper inside me, sliding easily through my wetness. He seems to be focused on one particular area, rubbing and

stroking, and soon I feel something gathering there, a swelling sensation coming from deep within me. My entire body is a live wire. Pleasure courses through me in waves, all centering in that one spot between my legs.

“Oh, god.” The words come out of me as a breathy moan. “That feels—oh, god. Liam.”

He keeps up the stroking and the pressure. Faster and faster, and suddenly I’m panting for air. My nipples tighten almost painfully, and my entire body feels connected to what he’s doing with his finger. “Liam.”

My leg muscles tighten as an explosion detonates deep inside me, stealing my breath. When I close my eyes, I see stars. My body arches, and a high-pitched cry escapes me. The pleasure between my legs spirals higher and higher, until my thighs start shaking. I’m stunned at my body’s reaction, at the intense throbbing between my legs. “Liam, I—” I think I just came.

Liam moves up to lie beside me, his arm tucked around me. I pull him close and kiss him. We’re both breathing hard as our lips cling together. His hand moves up to cup the back of my head. There’s a fluttering in my belly, and my pussy’s throbbing.

This is desire.

This is what it’s like to want someone.

“That was amazing,” I say against his lips.

His smile widens. “We’re not done yet.” He jumps off the bed and strips off the rest of his clothes. I watch as he opens the top drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a condom packet. He rips it open with his teeth.

As he covers himself, I get a look at him—at his long, thick shift with its large ruddy crown. My belly tightens as I wonder how that’s going to feel going into me. I reach down to touch myself and am shocked by how wet I am, how slippery, how good everything feels.

He kneels between my legs and fists his impressive erection. “Still with me?” he asks.

I nod.

He hikes my thigh onto his and leans down to kiss me again. His lips are warm and coaxing, and my body lights up again.

Liam guides his erection to my opening and brushes the head of his cock against me, once, twice, and again. He doesn’t seem to be in any rush. He teases me, slipping the head in just a bit, then withdrawing, then a tiny bit deeper, then out again. His rhythm is slow and tantalizing, making my nerves sing.

This feels good.

And oh, my. There’s a lot of him.

He sets up a slow rhythm, sinking a little bit deeper each time, until I’m dying for more. There’s no rough shoving, no slapping or pinching my ass or breasts, just a gradual rocking, until suddenly, he’s fully seated. All of him. Wow. It doesn’t hurt at all. I’m used to it hurting. Men can be so rough.

“That feels good,” I say in wonder.

He smiles. “That’s the point. It’s supposed to feel good.” And then he wraps an arm around me and starts moving inside me, slow and steady. I find myself anticipating each thrust and wanting to meet it. He glides smoothly inside me, and there’s only a delicious sense of fullness, but no burning. No pain. Just a feeling of rightness.

So, this is what it’s supposed to be like.

Liam’s lips brush my cheek. “Don’t cry, Jasmine. Please. You’re killing me.”

I didn’t even realize my cheeks were damp with tears. I reach up and cup the back of his head and bring him to me for a kiss that suddenly turns hot. Our mouths devour each other’s as his pace picks up. His thrusts are long and deep, filling me so perfectly. This is perfect. All of it.

Oh, my god.

I smile into our kiss. “I never knew it could be like this.”

He smiles back. “Sweetheart, this is just the beginning.” And then he grunts harshly, his voice deep and rough. His next thrust is hard, and then his back bows as he cries out. He bucks a few more times, each time more gently than before.

Liam rolls to the side, his chest heaving as he catches his breath. He turns to me and kisses me. “I’ll be right back,” he says. “I need to toss the condom and wash up.”

I follow him to the bathroom so I can pee. That’s one thing I do know. Pee after sex if you want to avoid UTIs. It was drilled into my head by the other girls.

We’re both being unnecessarily quiet in the bathroom, whispering to each other. It’s silly—like who’s going to hear us? I start to giggle as Liam sweeps me up into his arms and carries me back to bed.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as he lies down beside me.

I let out a sigh. “A bit dazed.”

Liam pulls me into his arms and kisses my temple. “I hope in a good way.”

Smiling, I press my face into the crook of his neck. “Yes. I was so afraid I wouldn’t enjoy it. I didn’t before—when I was in the game. I hated it. I hated myself for doing it. And I was terrified that it wouldn’t be any different even when it was something I wanted to do.” I press a kiss to his shoulder. “I guess who you’re with makes all the difference.”

His arms tighten around me. “I wish I could undo everything you’ve suffered through in your life.”

“I think you already have.”

He rolls me onto my back and lies on his side, facing me. He gently brushes my hair back and runs his finger along the arch of my brows, down the bridge of my nose. He traces the edge of my cheek, then he leans down and kisses me. It’s a gentle kiss, a tender kiss, one filled with reverence and—I don’t even dare think it—love. “I’ll get spoiled if you’re not careful,” I say.

He kisses my forehead. “If anyone deserves to be spoiled, Jasmine, it’s you.”