36. Evie

thirty-six

My heart raced as I stared at my vomit in the toilet. For the umpteenth time this morning, I was throwing up.

I remained hunched as my breath stilled. This had to be something else. God, it had to be.

My stomach lurched before I felt another urge. Gripping the edge of the toilet seat, I released the contents of my stomach.

God, please.

Being in here felt worse than throwing up, so I flushed and quickly exited.

I didn’t get to the bed or chair before I collapsed on the floor midway.

I’m just sick… I’m just sick.

It was what I’d been chanting since I started spilling my guts, but even I knew that was a lie.

I’d only ever been scared— really scared twice in my life before this.

The first was the day I returned from school to hear about my mother”s death. The second was when Stephen almost took me. The third… the third, was today.

Gaslighting myself into thinking that my late period was due to stress wasn’t working anymore.

I was scared— scared to my bones. I couldn”t be pregnant. Not from him… not in the middle of all this mess.

Another wave of headache hit me. This time, it was accompanied by dizziness.

Fuck. I messed up. I really messed up big time.

And dad wouldn”t be proud. Should I tell Ethan? Emma? Would I still be able to leave?

Rising slowly to my feet, I reached my bed at an unsteady pace before gently sitting on the edge.

I fisted my hair and groaned in distaste when it fell from the loose ponytail I’d put it in.

All good things, all good things.

It was all fine. I needed a pregnancy test first. It could be something else.

Sometimes, the body”s system gets weak due to stress and a lot of overthinking.

I hoped that was my case.

I glanced at the time and saw that it was a few minutes to 7 a.m.Ethan had given instructions to me yesterday, that I take Sophie to the park. Just me, Sophie, and Lewis.

I didn”t bother to ask why he wouldn”t accompany us. It was best that way.

After managing to take a shower and ensuring that my nausea had subsided, I got to Sophie’s room.

She was awake. I smiled slightly at her. “How are you today, Sophie?”

“Fine.” Her response was curt. This was the first time she’d responded to this question.

“We’re going to the park, okay?” She nodded.

After her morning routine— letting her pick her clothes and packing other necessary stuff, we were ready for the park— she was ready for the park. I, on the other hand, was ready to face the outcome of a pregnancy test.

When we got outside, Lewis was already waiting for us.

“Good morning, Lewis.”

“Morning, ma’am.”

I put Sophie in her booster in the backseat before climbing in next to her as we revved out of the mansion.

All good things, all good things.

When I shut my eyes, an image of Dad was the first thing that appeared behind my lids.

An image of his disappointed face.

If… I was pregnant from Ethan, I didn”t know what I’d do. But I wasn”t sure I”d be able to take Dad’s hurt and disappointed face one more time.

I opened my eyes instead and watched the scenery.

After a while, I told Lewis to make a quick stop at a drug store.

When we got there, I turned to Sophie. “I”ll be back, okay?”

She nodded, and I exited the car. My heart rate spiked as I made my way to where I’d find the pregnancy test.

I grabbed one, then grabbed three more and a bottle of water to chug down before going to the cashier’s stand.

There was no chance of an incorrect result. I paid when she calculated and hurriedly made my way to the car.

I climbed back in, and we continued our journey.

A fresh wave of thought hit me as we rode. If it was positive, I really was doomed. Everything about my career would be put on hold.

Heck, I didn”t even know how Ethan would react to the news or how I”d be perceived by the public.

We got to the park, and I found the perfect spot— under a tree, and amidst few people— for us.

When I laid out the blanket, Sophie sat. I brought toys, and a few snacks. I gave Sophie the same beetle bubble I had brought the previous time.

Her face lit up at the sight. My heart melted as she inserted the tip and blew bubbles. She remembered how to use it, and she loved it.

As I watched her blow bubbles, my melted heart slowly froze. Leaving would mean leaving her, too. How heartless could I be to leave this little girl? Did I really want to leave her?

A little girl about the same age as Sophie suddenly appeared beside us. Her big brown eyes were filled with curiosity as she stared at the bubbles.

When Sophie noticed, she stopped blowing bubbles. Right. She probably had not improved enough to.

But then I was surprised when Sophie passed the toy to the girl. The girl didn”t hesitate to grab it. She giggled as she blew bubbles.

I returned my attention to Sophie. She seemed content. There was no hint of discomfort. I mentally ticked her box of social interaction. She’d improved in that aspect too.

“Leah!” I turned to see a woman with short dark hair striding toward us.

“I”m sorry, I didn”t even know —” I drowned out her words as she grabbed the little girl.

The girl dropped the toy on the blanket before following the lady.

I turned to Sophie. She stared at the girl’s retreating figure for a while before picking her toy.

“Want to go for a walk?”

She nodded.

I stood up, holding her hand in mine as she stood. Maybe she wanted to make friends. I quickly found Lewis at a distance from our blanket. After telling him to guard our space, I let Sophie trail before me.

She was getting better. I wondered if when Alice resumed again, she’d continue to be better. I had to leave… to mend things with Dad.

Fuck. When I got this job, I was happy. Who knew I”d be here— in a park, with Sophie and a bundle of pregnancy tests— fearing the inevitable future.

Who knew that the possibility of getting pregnant by my client would be this real? I was fucked.

If Sophie could– My words cut in my throat when I didn”t find her in front of me anymore.

“Sophie?” I paused, then turned around. I didn”t see her.

“Sophie?” My voice grew louder.

No.

The park wasn”t packed at this time. Even amidst the few people, I couldn”t spot Sophie.

My heart struck out of my chest as I ran forward and then backward. God, Sophie.

“Sophie!” I screamed, earning a few stares.

“Please, have you seen Sophie? She.. she”s this tall and… and.” I fumbled over my words. I was going insane.

Fuck.

Tears streamed down my face as I ran like a crazed woman through the park.

This couldn”t be happening. Not now.

Who would I call? What would I say to Ethan?

Unimaginable fear settled in my guts.

Just when I was about to go to Lewis, I spotted her approaching figure.

I quickly ran to her, pulling her in for a hug.

“Sophie!”

I scanned her body for any sign of harm. “Where did you go?” She stood blankly before pointing to a distant corner.

My breathing was still hard. It was when she pointed that I noticed a small, brown envelope in her hand.

It wasn”t sealed, so I took it from her. With furrowed brows, I opened it to find a small piece of paper– a letter?

Ethan, you have less than twenty-four hours to meet me atRoosevelt Island Abandoned Tramway Station with the video. I gave this to your daughter. Think of what more I can do. Don”t come with your men. I won’t hesitate to show the world your picture.

My breath hitched as I read the letter. Men? Picture?

“Who gave this to you, Sophie?” She stared at me blankly before pointing in the same direction.

“Was it a man?”

She shook her head. I quickly carried her and hurried to Lewis.

Think of what more I can do.

I didn”t know what Ethan was involved in, but that was most definitely a threat.

“Lewis, we have to go now.” He sensed the urgency in my tone because, in a few seconds, he was done packing.

Still a bit shaken, we reached the mansion in a blur.

I led Sophie to her room before going to mine.

The letter had a time frame, which meant Ethan needed to see it fast.

I wondered what was going on and if it had anything to do with his drunken words.

It was now a few minutes after twelve. I contemplated calling him before deciding it was best to give it to him physically.

I needed to go to the office.

Dropping the pregnancy tests in the drawer, I headed out. That would need to wait.