23. Ethan

twenty-three

The meeting ended, and I watched my members rise. As usual, it was a success. Mr. Charles loved the progress of the project, and things were looking great.

I lifted a brow when I saw David mouth something to Chloe. Ever since the strange interaction between him and Evie and the accident with Evie in the Engineering department, I’d been watching him…closely.

It took everything in me not to fire him after the incident, but I had to keep my cool. I knew Evie would blame herself if she found out I fired him because of the accident.

“Have you seen Evie today?”

I could read the subtle move of his lips. I clenched my fist.

Chloe shook her head. “No. Perhaps today is her day off? She told me once that she has set days for work.”

David shook his head slowly. “I don’t think so.”

I furrowed my brows. He didn’t think so? So he was closely monitoring her?

What the fuck was he—

“Mr. McPherson.”

Someone called out, and David answered immediately. He trailed out with the rest, and soon, I was left alone.

Have you seen Evie today?

I scoffed. I’d given Evie the day off. Last I checked, that was none of his fucking business.

I brought my hands to rub my temple. Her loud moans suddenly reverberated through the room. Like a tape recorder, my mind played out scenes of our pleasure.

Evie.

I didn’t expect to have sex with her this morning. It just showed how stupid I was. What did I expect to happen waking up next to the sight of her in my shirt after taking her virginity? I should have known she’d be irresistible.

I couldn’t lie; sex with her was like a drug. A sweet, wholesome high that I never wanted to climb down from.

I’d worshiped the sexy art piece that was her body. I’d cherished her, just like I wanted to. Her body was like a treasure, and I wanted to keep her locked away in my chest for as long as I could.

In that moment, I wanted to be selfish— finally have what I’d been longing for. And I did.

I’d forgotten it all… pushed any rational thoughts behind the fickle barrier of emotions. And I enjoyed every bit of it.

At the party, I enjoyed our conversation. Suddenly, she’d seemed less of a chatterbox to me. After the party, I enjoyed something more. And after taking her virginity, I wanted more.

I wanted her all over again.

But now, in her absence, the facade of the high was slowly dissipating. And I could see the reality of my actions. Still, everything I felt remained, but they were overshadowed by one emotion. Guilt.

I fucked my best friend’s daughter. My best friend’s daughter, whom I was supposed to help attain a better future. I fucked her and even told her to call me daddy.

Her daddy wouldn’t be too pleased.

Fuck.

What have I done?

Why was it now when things were getting better with Sophie? Evie was my daughter’s nanny. She was supposed to help my daughter.

Images of James’s smiling face barreled through my brain. James trusted me with his life. He trusted me with his daughter. And what did I do?

I brought my palms in front of me, looking at them like they were coated in blood, before plunging them into my hair. A sharp pain pricked my gut.

Not just blood. My palms were coated in much worse— sins. Sins of the forbidden.

I’d sinned against James. I’d sinned against his late wife. I’d sinned against myself.

I’d broken a promise to myself. A promise to never allow the mistake to repeat itself.

My breathing started to come out in hard pants. I’d betrayed James”s trust. I hated myself.

I dragged my guilt-ridden limbs out of the room and toward the elevator. The doors opened on my floor, and I walked out.

When I entered my office, I made a beeline for my cabinet. There was a problem, and alcohol seemed like the best solution.

Ditching a glass, I grabbed a bottle of my strongest whiskey before taking my seat. The scorching burn of the liquid collapsed my throat. Yet it wasn’t enough.

When my brain started to conjure images of possible consequences, I downed more whiskey.

“El que la hace, la paga.”

I fisted the bottle tighter. I didn’t hate myself because of what I’d done. I hated myself, that despite all this, I wanted to do it again.

I should have left it at a cordial relationship. Let things simply be professional. Just her, Sophie, and the office.

She should never have accompanied me to the party. But maybe then Sophie wouldn’t have talked. The guilt in my chest dulled when I recalled the last time my daughter spoke.

***

I had woken up to the sound of little feet pitter-pattering into my room, accompanied by giggles. My heart warmed at the sound.

Today was the day I had been looking forward to all week. Saturday and a playdate with my daughter.

I pretended to be asleep.

”Good morning, Daddy!” Sophie exclaimed as she jumped on the bed.

I didn’t move. She giggled and started to tickle me. In no time, I burst into laughter.

“I knew you were pretending, Daddy!” She squealed when I tickled her.

”Good morning, sweetheart!” I placed a kiss on her cheek when I stopped.

“You know what day it is today, right?”

I pretended to think. “Hmmm. Saturday?”

“It’s our play date, silly!”

My hands moved to ruffle her hair. “Go get dressed then so we can go.”

The echoing sound of her footsteps as she headed toward her mother’s room was all I was left with.

Immediately, I stood up, and entered the bathroom for my morning routine. When I got out, I wore our shirts— our matching Superman T-shirts.

As opposed to how I looked, I didn’t feel ridiculous. The shirt was better than a Barbie one. I exited my room to find Sophie and Olivia in the living room.

Olivia was styling her hair into two pigtails while Sophie was having breakfast. She seemed to have finished. Olivia wasn’t going with us because, one, it was a father daughter date. And two, she didn’t want to.

We were in one of our avoidance phases.

“Have fun with Daddy, okay?” She placed a kiss on her head. I was glad that she didn’t make the strain in our relationship obvious. Except, of course, when we were arguing.

“Okay, Mommy.”

When she straightened herself, our eyes met. Our stare barely lasted ten seconds. That was longer than she’d looked at me this week.

“Don’t keep her out late,” she said in a curt manner. Then brushed past me up the stairs.

Shaking off the negative vibes, I faced my daughter. “Ready?” I picked her up and spun her in my arms lightly.

“Ready!” She squealed.

As Lewis drove, Sophie sang along to one of her favorite songs.

“Mary had a little lamb.” Her tiny voice sang along to the radio.

“Little lamb…” I trailed along. It was routine to sing this or any of her other favorites on our playdates.

I’d planned a special outing to the zoo. Sophie loved animals. She continued singing until we finally reached the zoo.

We entered through the grand gates and were greeted by birds chirping and the distant roar of lions. The lion’s pride was our first stop.

Shielded behind durable glass walls, I watched Sophie’s eyes widen in excitement at the lion. We’d been here a couple of times, and she always had the same reactions.

“Daddy, look! Lions!”

And the same exclamations.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” I leaned down to pat her hair.

“They are, and they’re a bit scary too. But I’m not scared of them because they won’t hurt me.”

I laughed at that.

“If they let me go inside, I will—”

That’s enough lions for today. I quickly tugged her to other sections. First the elephants. Then the monkeys.

“They look like us.” She pointed at one monkey, staring curiously at us.

“Yes, baby. They do,” I smiled.

“Are they us?”

“No, baby. They aren’t.”

After our time at the zoo, we headed to the park for a picnic lunch. I had Virginia pack all of Sophie’s favorite foods – peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks, and chocolate chip cookies.

Sitting on a checkered blanket, we enjoyed our meal amidst the laughter of children playing nearby. At some point, she got up to play with the other children while I took pictures with the camera I’d gotten.

I wanted this memory to be captured forever. It somehow was also a way to remind myself never to put work above her.

She was still within reach as I made sure to trail her closely. Sophie happily explored the playground with the other kids. She climbed up the jungle gym with confidence, her giggles echoing through the air as she went down the slide over and over again.

I soon joined in, chasing her around the playground, playing tag, and pretending to be a monster.

As the sun began to set, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, we made our way to the car. I carried Sophie on my shoulders, her arms wrapped tightly around my head as we laughed and sang songs together.

We got to the car, and after a few minutes of singing, we arrived at the mansion.

Sophie still wanted to play for a while in her playroom, and though the nanny had taken a day off to sort out some personal stuff, I let her play.

All I wanted to do was rest for a while. But as I walked to my room, I saw her, Olivia.

She looked different. I instantly knew something was unusually off. Her steps wavered slightly, and her eyes were bloodshot.

That was the night of the incident.

***

Not wanting to recall the heated argument, I shook myself to the present.

There was no need to think about that. Sophie was starting to speak again. Everything was going fine… everything.

And maybe I was a bad friend, a selfish one. But the situation was no big deal.

James didn’t need to know about it.

Tossing the bottle of whiskey aside, I clenched my suit tighter. I needed to work. Logic before emotions.

Day turned into night, and I was done with projects for the day. I shut my laptop, making my way out of my office and into the elevator.

The elevator opened on the ground floor. Nodding past the greeting of the receptionist and robot, I entered my car, ignited the engine, and was on my way home.

Home…

The drive to the mansion was silent. After a couple of minutes, I arrived at the gates. I drove in and exited the car.

When I entered the house, it was quiet. Sophie must have gone to bed because Evie wasn’t in sight. Probably in her room.

I wondered how she felt now. How she’d act now. After all, I’d put her in a situation where she had to betray her own father.

I was still climbing the stairs when I heard a door open. I knew it was hers.

Her beautiful frame came into view when I reached the landing. She was wearing pink shorts and a singlet with a net on the cleavage part. It looked like the one from the first time she arrived at the mansion or was it a different one?

“Good evening,” she greeted, wringing her hands together. I narrowed my eyes at the movement. Was she nervous?

“Good evening, Evie.” It was well past Sophie’s bedtime, hers too. Did she come out to drink water?

“You”re not asleep?” I instantly regretted my choice of words. Of course, she wasn”t asleep.

“No,” she breathed.

“Why?”

“I came for water.” She licked her lips.

“You must like drinking water so much…” I trailed.

“No.”

Okay…

“I- I mean yes…and I li? like other things too…” I tilted my head to stare at her fingers that wrung themselves.

She continued. “Like... like dark chocolates…”

Her words reduced until she didn”t speak.

I nodded. The silence that hung in the air was quite awkward even for me.

What should I say again? I was out of words but why did it feel so right to keep talking?

“How are you feeling?”

A tint of pink stained her cheeks. She understood what I was asking.

Another moment of silence passed. Her eyes looked like she was contemplating something before she shook her head.

“It… it still hurts a little but I’ll? I’ll be fine…”

A surge of pride inflated my ego. But it soon deflated when I realized what pain she could be in.

“We can go to the doctor tomo—”

“I’m... I”m fine. I”m fine,” she quickly jumped in. I raised a brow. But pain meds would make it better?

“Really it”s nothing.” Her blush deepened.

There was a pinch of satisfaction in my chest. I”d seen how far that blush could go.

Slowly she started to walk past me. I noticed a limp in her step. It was subtle but still there.

Instinctively I tugged her to my chest, curving an arm behind her knees. She released a small yelp as I carried her. My other arm was around her lower back.

“W-wwhat are you doing?” She struggled in my arms. I tightened my grip.

“I put you in this position, Evie. The least I can do is carry you down the stairs.”

She gave up the fight and leaned into my chest. I didn”t know if she could hear it, but I could feel my heart beating twice as fast.